Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)
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Judie. - have an awesome trip. A beautiful environment can give you a little mental vacation too. If it takes using a wheelchair to get there and get around, I am certain it will be worth it. Love hearing about all the planned trips and vacations. No one else could appreciate that hesitation to book future events. I just leased a new car and had a huge head game about the 36 months and whether I am being unrealistic and irresponsible but I did it anyways. Besides since I started this trip 6 1/2 years ago, this is my third car purchase and each time I have gone through the same mental debate on the term of my financing vs the term of my life. Sheesh....no one else could understand the elements this disease adds to life already challenging decisions. In the end, I will continue to choose not to let it take control over enjoying my life and it takes a concentrated effort to do so.
Live on!!
Jen
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Judi, Have a wonderful trip with your son. Sounds very special. *susan*
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I hope all of you ladies have wonderful trips!!! May you also have many many more years of vacations with your loved ones!!!
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wmrssmithx2, welcome. as others have said once you have a plan in place and moving forward, it does get easier. and give yourself permission to have those down days. they will come and go, but overall most days will be good.
Judi -I am so jealous of the Bahama trip. Soak up the sun , breezes and beautiful memories
Thanks for the tips on Austria. Planning will begin after the start of the new year!
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Judie, dh, ds and i are getting ready to take a cruise to the Bahamas this month! I booked it last summer and of course so happy I made plans that far in advance. We've never cruised and never been anywhere tropical; we sail out of Baltimore, Maryland. I've heard of the Sandals resort and it sounds absolutely heavenly. The wheelchair will make your trip soo much easier for you and for those going with you so thank heavens for the convenience. Enjoy! It is wonderful to have a beautiful change of scenery. I also think the anticipation and planning is a fun part of the process.
Jen, I always love your car leasing details!
wrsmith, prayers to you as you sort things out; you will find support and information on this forum.
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Oh Judie, how wonderful! Have a great vacation in the beautiful Bahamas...
With love,
Rose.
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Judie ... Enjoy! Sounds like a lovely trip. Sitting on a lawn chair under an umbrella will allow you beautiful views and rest!! Would be great to see pictures!!
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Judie have a wonderful time in the Bahamas. It sounds like you will have an amazing time. Enjoy the tropical weather and the beautiful oceans.
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So great to hear your vacation plans, Judie! Resorts sound like the perfect set up for anyone with limitations, because options for activities abound. You get a big round of applause for saying YES to this caper! I am awed by your willingness to face some risk in order to have a family break in a beautiful setting. It must have taken some real thought to get to this place.
wrsmith, my best to you as you adapt to this situation in your life. Keep posting.
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Judie,
Sounds like paradise. Those turquoise waters sound seductive and calming. I know it will be excellent medicine!
Divine,
I am do excited for you and your upcoming cruise. No secret that I'm a big cruise fan, so a bit jealous too. The real beauty of cruising, IMO, is that you make it whatever you want, i.e. Participate/attend as many or as few on board activities as you like, tour like crazy or just walk around at ports.Unpack once, never have find a restaurant etc. My favorite "activity" is sitting on the promenade deck with a good read and watching the vast ocean as we sail on. Enjoy every minute.
Caryn
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justjudie - thanks for sharing. How very exciting. Wonderful dh and ds will be there making awesome memories. Hope you take a lot of pics. Love your attitude about the wheelchair. I agree. If it gets you where you are going without completly wearing you out then go for it. Don't get too sun burnt. I have seen the sandals commercials on tv. It looks amazing.
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exbrnxgrl, thanks so much! We booked a balcony room per everyone here that recommended it; dh & ds are thrilled about that. I also think it was on these boards that I heard about 'Cruise Critic', a forum all about cruises. I've gleaned a wealth of information about the cruise life from that site and look forward to the activities and interaction with others as well as relaxing in the solitude of our balcony and seeing and experiencing places I've never been.
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I am a cruise critic member (rpcv77). I post mostly on the Princess forum as well as ports of call. There is a lot of useful info for sure. We found the private tour company we used in Tauranga, NZ that way and loved it. You will enjoy the balcony. I had them on my first few cruises. Since I want to cruise more often, I've gone to obstructed ocean views (some are hardly obstructed, so I choose my cabin carefully), due to price, but would gladly take an upgrade to a balcony:)
Caryn
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Judie and divine---have a blast!!! Soak it in. So happy for you both!
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EXbrnxgirl,I am in agreement w/you. My Onc. told me Stage IV is no longer considered terminal.She said where I am now I am definately not terminal. Of course things can change.
My 1st cancerversary is Aug.16th. I am going for CT scans on Monday hoping all will
Be well.
As for bone mets, upon dx last year along w/bilateral bc I was dx w/bone mets to the
Spine, shoulders, and femur. My scan in March my Onc said from the path. report
They don't see cancer in my bones at all. I have been on femara and the xgeva shot
From day one and nothing else.
We are all individuals so our bodies react differently to the medications many times.
I don't ever plan on just giving up. Sure, I get depressed periodîcally as we all do .
The dx of bc is a reality and has changed all of our lives. But never give in to
This disease! (((Hugs))) to all.
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Mrs. M, that cruise sounds divine:) I've never been on a cruise before, but I may just do it next year! Nothing like sunshine and beautiful blue sea to cheer us! Enjoy!
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safety first,
Glad that you're doing well. Let me clarify that for most of us, stage IV is indeed terminal, just not immediately. The hope is that the longer we live, the more advanced tx will become and perhaps one day it won't be terminal. Sadly, we are not there yet. Unlike you, if my tx becomes too much and I have no QOL , I will stop tx. I don't consider it giving up or giving in. I consider it going out on my terms. Right now, things are quite good so I enjoy every minute of it, but the dismal 1-2% survival rate resonates with the realist in me. Take care and keep enjoying your life.
Caryn
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Judie, I hope you have the best time ever!! Sandals resorts are supposed to be really great. If you need to, just tell the people in charge what your issues are and what you can't do. I'm sure they'll help make sure you have a great time.
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thanks, exbrnxgrl, I better understand your reality then my onc. I'm a bit upset because she said
"You are not terminal but, a cancer related illness will probably be your demise". I so appreciate
Your honesty even though it deflates my baloon a little.
I pray that we all continue to do well. Thanks again.
Barb
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barb,
I don't mean to be a balloon deflater. My point of view is, simply, mine. I am a very optimistic person, but with a strong sense of reality. IMO, for any doctor to say stage IV is not terminal, is curable etc. is just not fair to the patient. 1-2% ? Really, what statistics class do those doctors take?
My hope is that the longer we do live, the more medical,options we will have. On a day to day basis I hope that we all live as well as we can and not put our lives on hold if we don't have to. Today, for instance, I'm going to my dd and SIL's newly purchased home to continue stripping wallpaper. Normal life ? You bet! On the other hand, since the paper was apparently hung with super glue, maybe I should pull the stage IV card (just kidding. I am more than happy to help,then) . Take very good care of yourself.
Caryn
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Caryn,
My way of thinking is certainly in sync with yours. Including the humour.:-) .
I live each day doing what I can and/or want to do the same as you. I am redoing
a bedroom in "Hello Kitty" for my 3yr old (identical twin) granddaughters. When
I was first dx I thought no use bothering now, I won't be here to see them enjoy the
Room. My feelings changed as time went on and in May I began to buy "Hello Kitty"
Sheets, curtins pillows, etc. Hd the room painted 2wks ago. I started decorating on
friday and it is looking adorable! I tire quickly so it's taking a couple days to complete.
But Caryn, I accept whatever time I have to see their little faces delight and enjoy
This room when visiting.
Enjoy your wallpaper project w/the family. Become a stage IV actress if you get bored!! :-) :-)
Thanks for the uplift, you're awesome! (Hugs)
Barb
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Hello Ladies! Here I am in the Bahamas! Have been here two days. Thank you so much for all the positive thoughts before I left. It truly helped me in making my decision to come. I had a close call in that I got dehydrated and ended up in the hosp just a few days before I left. My onc encouraged me to go on the trip too if I thought I could. . It is beyond beautiful here and I am truly loving it. So great to be close to DH and DS enjoying this place so blessed by nature. I am particularly glad I did go too because the day before I left my onc advised that the brain MRI I recently had, showed some cancer in the bone in my skull which was not there just a few months ago. Also my tumor marker jumped 300 points since the month before. The onc said we will discuss all of this further but he believes the cancer in my head will be treated by radiation. Oh good. Damn miserable cancer. But right now I an here and I intend to enjoy every minute I can! Take THAT cancer! Love you all. Will have more to report when I get back.
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"Take THAT cancer! "
It sounds beautiful. Enjoy every minute!
Caryn
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Enjoy the warm breezes and beautiful views and yes "TAKE THAT CANCER"
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breathe it all in Judie!! So, so glad you are there!
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Sooo wonderful, Judie! Enjoy every minute of your vacation. Thinking of you...
Rose.
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Go, Judie! I am going to make a plaque with, "Take THAT, cancer!" on it. I love that you are in the Bahamas, and that you have a game perspective on the stuff you need to tend to later. There sure is an art to living well with mets, and you have that down, I think. Enjoy your time on the islands.
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Caryn,
Thank you for starting this thread. I was diagnosed stage IV in April 2014. I am an optimist and a realist. I know what I am up against, and for now my life is continuing on normally except for treatment/side effects. I have good days and bad days, but I still get up EVERY day.
I have not and will never let cancer define me.
In October my family and I are going to Disney (my husband has never been) and in the Spring my husband and I are going on a 3 week RV trip around the country to see the things we planned to see after we retired. We're also going to pit stop in Las Vegas and get married again (by an Elvis impersonator) just because we have always joked about doing that.
This dx has taught us that we can't plan for someday anymore. We are going to live now, while I can.
Life isn't perfect for any of us, we will always have this shadow hanging over us. How we deal with the hand we've been dealt is what defines us, not the disease.
I am happy for all of us who are doing well, and I sympathize, empathize, and cry with all of us who are not doing so well.
I love this thread for giving us the chance to express the good and the bad, because sometimes we all need to share with those who truly understand the pain, frustrations, fears. The good times should give everyone hope.
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Terri-c,
Sorry you've had to join us, but welcome, never the less. I think you're take on the stage IV lifestyle is great. Enjoy what you can, while you can. The shadow is always there but since we never know when things will change, carry on happily until you can't. I hope you have a ball, at Disney (land or world?) and in your RV travels.
Caryn
PS: Glad you like the thread and I hope you understand it's intention. My heart always hurts for those who are struggling or those who have passed. Sadly, that's part of the reality of stage IV life.
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World (I think) Whichever one is in Florida
I'm looking forward to going to that Wizarding World of Harry Potter! (I'm a 48 year old kid, I know.)I'm trying to clean my house today, hard to do when your back and skin hurt, but it needs it so bad. I have large dogs, so can't get a cleaning company to come in.
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