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Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,035
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    sunshine,

    I’m sure it’s lovely but the pic did not post!

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,689
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    That’s strange because I can see it on my end - on the second try. Two photos total.

  • aprilgirl1
    aprilgirl1 Member Posts: 784
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    @brutersmom and @sunshine99 - love the photos !

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,035
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    sunshine, the second time was the charm!

  • brutersmom
    brutersmom Member Posts: 922
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    Here is how I started my new year. Yellow green and blue were from the class.


  • aprilgirl1
    aprilgirl1 Member Posts: 784
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    @chicagoan , love these photos of you!!

  • brutersmom
    brutersmom Member Posts: 922
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    Great photos @chicagoan

    Ok all please bear with me. I think I am going to have a week long crisis. There is something I didn't think about when I scheduled the surgery and that is snow. It has been so long sine we have seen more than a dusting here in Eastern PA. 2 years. It is also Farm Show week. Growing up it always snowed or iced this week. Today headlines are heavy wet snow this weekend. They are talking nor'easter. Honesty I don't know what that means any more. It used to be 10+ inches but it seems anything over 1 inch is that around here is a nor'easter anymore. Surgery is Monday. I have been off ibrance 5 weeks for this surgery. I have everything I need. Just need to do a little more grocery shopping. 😰

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,035
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    Thought it was time to throw in an anxiety provoking situation which has nothing to do with bc and is certainly not important in the grand scheme of things, so here goes.

    Some of you may remember that my older dd and family live in the beautiful Napa Valley (about 71 miles from my home). I usually house/pet sit when they go out of town. They have a dog and a cat and I bring my dog as well. The cat, never very friendly, always makes her presence known. She eats and uses her litter box. I have never had a problem with her and have known her since she was a tiny kitten. She is not fond of the dogs and there are usually some wild games of chase that she plays with them and always wins of course. I arrived at about noon and had a nice afternoon. I made sure there was fresh food and water out before going to bed. I thought I heard her get into a small skirmish with the dogs but it was brief. The next morning, I noticed her food hadn’t been touched, which is unusual. I didn’t see her at all during the day and she appeared not to eat or use her litter box the next night either. I started worrying. She is an indoor cat and I was quite sure she hadn’t gotten out. On the third morning, food and litter box seemed untouched but… an elastic hair tie mysteriously appeared in one of the dogs water bowls. I was now very worried but comforted though confused by the hair tie. Was she in the house? Wasn’t she? Could she have gotten out as my dd and family were rushing to get to the airport at 4:30 am? I searched everywhere , opened every door/drawer/closet and even put a small bowl of food in the garage. I was quickly becoming overwhelmed by guilt and anxiety as I was left in charge. The next morning? Small plastic bag containing peppermint bark is found with several ripped open claw marks on it. I am feeling upset but a bit hopeful. I was there for 5 nights and never saw her nor did it appear that she was eating or using the litter box. If something happened I would feel totally responsible and how on earth would my 11 year old granddaughter feel. Sigh…I came home early this afternoon happy to be home but upset about the cat. Just as I got home, I got a text from my dd saying they had just gotten home and guess who greeted them as soon as they opened the door? Yup, Prinny (Princess) the cat! I was very relieved but I am so mad at the mental anguish she put me through. Grrrrr, that darn cat!

  • brutersmom
    brutersmom Member Posts: 922
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    Cats can be so mean and sneaky. Sometime even evil. But dang they can also be cute and cuddly when they want to be.

  • aprilgirl1
    aprilgirl1 Member Posts: 784
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    That Darn Cat ! Who remembers the Disney movie with that title ? I loved it ....I think it was Disney ? I love cats but my daughter is allergic . So relieved this had a happy ending !

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,689
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    Little stinker! Did she go into hiding the whole time you were there?

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,035
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    Yes, she hid the whole dang time! Save for the hair tie in the water bowl and the torn plastic bag, I had no indication that she was actually in the house. This was also very out of character for her as she always comes out when I’m there and has begun to tolerate my dog a little (she really liked me before I got a dog). I was almost hysterical thinking that I would have to tell my granddaughter that her cat had gone missing on my watch. Yes, she was a sneaky little jerk but I was greatly relieved when my dd told me she greeted them as soon as they got home. I know I will sleep well tonight!

  • brutersmom
    brutersmom Member Posts: 922
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    Little devil. Happy she is there and safe.

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,689
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    dghoff, I love your photo, even if it does give me the willies! 😳😁

  • threetree
    threetree Member Posts: 1,461
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    Dghoff - that's scary to look at. I could have never sat there. Bad acrophobia! I'll bet it was breathtaking though.

  • claireinaz
    claireinaz Member Posts: 691
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    I love the Big Bend photo! I do the same thing (sit on the edge) at Grand Canyon National Park, since I live about 80 miles south of it and visit and hike a lot!

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,689
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    OK, my brain is just not working! I saw @claireinaz's comment and thought she wrote "Big Bend Potato." What the heck is a Big Bend Potato??? Never mind… 😁

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,689
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    @claireinaz, good one! 😝

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,035
    edited January 19
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    Buckle up folks for an unimaginably tragic story that seems like a made for TV drama. This husband is the father of two children who attended my school. Neither were in my class but the school is not too big so we know most students. I remember them well. Though not in elementary school anymore , they are still minors, with one still attending middle school in my district. The woman murdered was not their mother as they were divorced but sadly the murdered woman did have two very young children. When I first moved to Los Gatos, I rented a house one cul de sac over from where they lived. It still seems bizarre to have a connection to this tragedy because it’s the type of story you’d see on 48 Hours or Dateline. My school community, always embracing anyone in need, has already stepped up in incredible ways. My heart breaks for the children, innocent victims of evil and their father 😢

    https://patch.com/california/losgatos/man-arrested-after-body-found-santa-cruz-mountains

    https://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/bay-area-man-killed-wife-santa-cruz-mountains-18612772.php

  • aprilgirl1
    aprilgirl1 Member Posts: 784
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    Exbrnxgrl, I am so very sorry. What an awful and tragic loss. I have friends in Los Gatos and I know it's a wonderful community - I'm not surprised your school community has stepped up to help.

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,689
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    I, too, have friends in Los Gatos. I grew up in Woodside. Our friends are both MDs (he's a MO) and they have three kids. They drove down to see up last weekend. What a horrifying and sad story. We always think it could never happen in our community, then something like this happens.

    We never know…

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,035
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    I didn’t realize we had members who know where Los Gatos is! My former school (Union School District ) is located on the Los Gatos/San Jose border and you all know I still sub there. Both my daughters went there as well so my connection to the community runs long and deep, even though I moved to downtown San Jose over 15 years ago.

    Public information is still pretty minimal but I know a lot more than has been published because I worked at the school yesterday. It is so horrifying and dramatic that it really seems like a made up story but sadly it’s not. I admit to enjoying shows like Dateline and 48 Hours , but in my mind, those kind of things happen elsewhere, with people I don’t know nor have any connection to. It is still too difficult for me to fully process it. In an online article in People, there is one factual mistake, though they do qualify it by the use of the word presumably. They note that there is now an order of protection for four children, presumably the victims. Only the two younger children were the victims. The two older ones, the ones who went to my school, are the children of the murderer’s second wife. Yes, he killed his third wife. It’s going to take me a few days, at least, to find a place to put this in my mind.

  • brutersmom
    brutersmom Member Posts: 922
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    @dghoff love your picture.

    @exbrnxgrl. I had not heard this but I am also on the east coast near Philly where these kind of events and other murders seem to happen daily. It is always hard, when you hear these things and have a connection to the people involved. When my past real estate client was killed during an alleged break-in, it took a long time to process what happened. He was murdered in front of two small children. Supposedly random.

  • divinemrsm
    divinemrsm Member Posts: 6,191
    edited January 20
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    exbrnxgrl, what a tragic story. It’s difficult for me to comprehend how someone can cause such bodily harm to another person, much less a wife who’s the mother of two of his children. How does a person love and hate like that? Something that violent, knowing some of the children and being so close to home would stay with me for a long time.

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 5,035
    edited January 20
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    divine,

    Yes, it is beyond comprehension. I think the fact that I have connections to so many folks involved in this case is still hard for me to believe. The video doorbell that captured the incriminating footage belongs to a family at my school*. The family that is fostering the two youngest children (children of the murdered woman) is also a family at my school. And the big New Year’s party going on the night of the murder? Mainly populated by parents from my school and almost all residents of that cul de sac either go to or went to my school. There was a quote from a neighbor regarding the tragedy. I taught two of her three children. I guess part of my brain just wants to believe that such evil can’t happen in my orbit. But the reality is that it can and it did. The human condition is so complex.How do we ever understand why these things happen? And it is too often the case that it’s children who suffer this evil and its aftermath.

    *I am retired but still sub in the district and very often at my old school. It is an incredibly caring and supportive community that always rallies around those in need.