Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)
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We had a fun weekend in the Lake Tahoe area. What a joy to watch my grandchildren play in the snow. Frankie loved sledding with Miles. Last pic is me with both dd'sI have been having some vision problems in my right eye. Will be having a PET scan and an ophthalmologist visit the week after next. Only someone with stage IV cancer would be praying for cataracts!
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Oops, here's that last photo!
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Caryn, Great photos, thanks for sharing. And YES only a cancer patient can pray for cataracts versus mets. I will pray for the lesser of two evils.
Amy
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Caryn. Loved the photos. Such joy!!!! Here's hoping you have cataracts!!!!!
Babs
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Shelly - I too have a "word". Words like survivor and warrior never resonated with me (although I understand how many do find comfort in those words). I choose the world resilient as my word. From Webster:
- : characterized or marked by resilience : such as a : capable of withstanding shock without permanent deformation or rupture b : tending to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.
50sgirl - Your post reminded me of the Audrey Hepburn quote "To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow."
Lita - fingers crossed for good scans!
Great pictures Caryn. Looks like you made the most of the Tahoesnow! It has been another mild winter here in Michigan, but I'm just fine with that.
I had my six month scans and everything came back stable. Don't know how long this stable streak is going to last, but I try not to take one second for granted.
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Shutterbug, WOOHOO for stable! I hope that streak continues for a long time. I do like the quote you posted. I have to admit that I feel that way about gardens.
Caryn, I love the pictures. You and your family are great subjects for photos. It is good to see you enjoying life as we all should do. Here's hoping for cataracts! Keep us posted.
Lots and lots of snow here. We had another foot last night. Luckily, it was soft and light again and not that heavy wet stuff that was expected. The skiers are delighted.
Lynne
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I am ashamed to say that I contemplated real bad things when I got the surgery report and it said stage 4. I looked on the internet and almost ended it all. I am a Christian, and to me the only unforgivable sin is suicide, you cant ask forgiveness afterword's. then the news from my daughter that my first grandkid was on the way. things brightened up a whole lot then. and so far, all my ct scans show the cancer shrinking. one more tomorrow, then close to one year since surgery. please take what you find on the internet with a grain or bucket of salt, most is outdated or outright lies. last week, I got the news my heart is improving, I wont find out till next week how that @!@#@#$#$$%%^ cancer is doing. I want to stick around a long time to really spoil that beautfful baby girl.
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Cliff, We all went through that period of shock, hopelessness, and fear that you experienced. The important thing is that you are still here, wiser now that you are armed with facts that have replaced the poor information gathered from the web. It is unfortunate that we are all faced with such dire, frightening misinformation. Congratulations on the news of your first grandchild. When is she due to arrive? As you can see from many of the posts on this thread, life does go on after a stage IV diagnosis. Life might be different in some ways now, but it can still be filled with joy and love. I try to focus on the good things, and find something to be grateful for each day. I am happy to hear that your heart is improving. I hope you receive good news about your cancer next week.
Lynne.
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Just found this thread and glad I did. Everyone seems to be positive and supportive 😘. Does anyone know how often you need your port flushed if not doing active chemo. I want to leave mine in while I start Ibrance.
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mine is flushed every three months.
My granddaughter, Daniela Rose was born the last of November.
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Cliff, Congratulations. I didn't realize that your granddaughter had already been born. She has a beautiful name. I have no doubt that she has enriched your life and that you will also enrich hers
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I am going to beat this cancer, and other things trying to stop me, and do some world class spoiling on that girl.
there is a shot of her in this clip from KAKE tv Wichita, the interview with the old guy (me) by the Christmas tree http://www.kake.com/category/318916/buddy-check-10
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Grandchildren are powerful motivation for living well with stage IV bc. Since my dx, I have become a grandmother twice over. The chances of my beating bc are very, very slim, as they are for all stage IV women, but I intend to live every day as well as possible, until it's not possible. I wish my desire to see my grandkids grow were enough to keep cancer at bay, but I'm quite realistic about the situation. So, I will just enjoy everyday as it comes
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it is difficult for me due to other factors, I have been treated for congestive heart failure for 4 years, and diabetes for 24 years. my heart is improving, but still there nagging me.along with that knot of cancer in the base of my spine that stops me from excersizing the diabetes away. but I agree, she is a powerful incentive.
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The phrase that I say to myself lately, as I face my first progression and change to a possibly harder treatment, is part of a yoga saying: "Love begets courage." I love my life, I love my family. I do what I have to do.
In the past, a phrase that helped with worry about the future was, "That day may come, but it's not today."
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Had to switch to my laptop. Whenever I try to write an important post, I'll hit some weird key by accident and then it all disappears. I HATE THAT. Guess it's time to trim my nails again. With the HFS neuropathy it's hard for me to feel the keys sometimes.
I'm pissed because I tried to order the urn for my ashes (which I should have done a couple of months ago when they were still in stock), and, of course, they're OUT OF STOCK now. And they're also out of stock on my 2nd and 3rd choices too! I checked a couple of other web sites, and they don't carry these particular Raku brass ones.
I don't want to wait too long on this or it may never get done. It's important for me to do it myself so I don't end up like my mother in law who passed away more than 5 years ago. Her ashes are still in the original (now very dusty) cardboard box, sitting on an even dustier shelf! DH hasn't done a damn thing with them.
I'm trying to compile a list of what I still need to take care of. I'm just SO fatigued and exhausted from all the chemo and crap. I know this isn't THE END yet, but it's getting harder and harder to focus and stay motivated with the unmitigated fatigue. When they switch me over to a tougher chemo, it will be even harder.
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ShetlandPony that is a beautiful phrase. Most apt. Your love and your courage shine through.
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Caryn - Love the grandkids pics Part of me wishes my kids would move it along - but I know they are too young 23 and 19 My son is moving into Boston this weekend I am so happy for him, this is his time to do as wishes. Some day he may settle down with a wife and kids, but I want him to have the time to be and do what he wants. Steady girlfriend of 4 years -so I may be wishing on stars.
My phrase - it is what it is - it could be sooooo much worse. I know how this will end, but grateful for every day I am here.
Fatigue - I nap every afternoon. Retirement scheduled for June, but I work for a very small non-profit and the Board has yet to post my job description. They need to move this along!!!
Amy scan??
and to all I have missed when reading thru - grab all you can out of every day
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Caryn, such beautiful pics of your grandkids, amd also you and your girls. Best wishes with the PET and eye issues.
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Lita, I've been thinking seriously about getting all of my funeral expenses and decisions made too. Not that I might need it sometime in the near future, but gosh, none of us is guaranteed any more time, breast cancer or no breast cancer and when my time does come, I'd like my children to not have to do all of that!!!
Hoping you are feeling well today, have had you on my mind
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Lita, you are in my prayers! Just want you to know I think of you often along with all the other ladies on this board! You help get me through each day
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Thanks Gracie and Apg!!! You both made my day. Having some pain in the lower back area where there is progression, but nothing I can't handle.
Take care everyone.
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50's Girl...it sounds like you have spring fever like I do! Or maybe it's cabin fever? It is snowy here too...Wasilla, AK. 17 degrees, cold and crisp. My chickens, geese, turkeys and ducks huddle together out in their coop, barely laying eggs some days. The icy roads are keeping me home, but I don't have any errands to do anyways. I got my Burpee catalog too & I'm daydreaming about my garden and greenhouse already too! I have to figure out a better way to keep the stray moose out of the broccoli!
I have a question some of you might be able to help with. I am going to Phoenix for 10 days in March, and I understand Sedona is a "spiritual vortex" area. It was suggested I meet with a Shaman for energy clearing and healing energy. Does anyone have any experience with this type of healer? Understand, I'm NOT believing I'm going to be healed of cancer, but just want insight on death, relationships, and staying in the moment. TIA. Any mind/body therapies that you'd recommend?
Happy February to you all. May you all be blessed with pain free, carefree fun loving and life.
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akshelly, I've no experience with shamans, but have heard of the spiritual vortex of the dessert and would do exactly the same thing as you if I was visiting, for greater clarity, cleansing, and other types of healing, not necessarily physical ones. I will be interested to hear how it goes for you.
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Shelley, I treated myself to an absolutely wonderful Reiki healing session the last time we were in Sedona. I'm in the car now after a bone scan today at UCLA , but I can PM you the info when I get home. The woman I found was a Reiki master with exceptional credentials. She asked a lot of questions about my health, and I really felt the session, which utilized Tibetan bowls and crystals, was worth the cost.
Not sure about a Shaman. There are a lot of healing practitioners in Sedona -- some truly gifted and experienced; many probably not so much.
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Yes, akshelley...try to get some references if you can. There are quacks out there. Not sure if it's worth Googling Sedona's services or not, but you could try. I know Reiki practitioners in CA, but I don't know anybody in AZ, especially not Shamans.
The desert is a very special place. I really felt the spiritual quality when I was down in the Mojave Desert of Southern California. Sedona is also on my bucket list, too. Hope I live long enough to go down there...trying to plan a trip to see the Grand Canyon again. Went there when I was 14 years old, and it left such an impression on me. I'd like to rent a camper/recreation vehicle and go down there with our dog.
Let us know how your trip goes.
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Shetland, I like that phrase too and have remind myself often.
Boy the rain and snow here has been pretty wild too and I am definitely feeling Spring fever. We moved during all the storms from our larger house of 15 years down the hill into a more manageable one in what is supposed to be a less snowy climate. But we got 8 inches yesterday. It was quite the endeavor and I was exhausted by the end. It sure is beautiful here though. I actually have a glorious view from my office and porch!
Caryn, great pics of those grandkids and you! I have a very similar one of my son when he was a baby laying in the snow in his snowsuit.....Praying for cataracts or less!
Lita, I was thinking of you Monday as I was laying in the scanner myself. No news yet but have an ominous feeling as I have feeling more fatigued and much more achy lately. Hope it's just residual from the move. Hope yours was only good. Hang in there.
And cliff, I hope you find a lot of inspiration and hope by coming on these boards. I has helped me like nothing else can. One day at a time and find the joy of each day. How I would love to meet my grandchildren! But like Nel my kids aren't there yet. I keep hoping for at least a wedding!
I like the spiritual healing that is suggested here. since we are now settled into the new house I hope we can start taking some short trips and explore some things like that.
Best to all you ladies. I am very grateful for another snow day off of work! LOL!
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And Shutter, Hurrah for stable!!!!
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Hi. How are you doing now? I was just diagnosed stage 4 mets BC.
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How are you doing now?
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