Life does not end with a stage IV diagnosis (really!)
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Lita ~ you're amazing. I love the positive attitude of all you wonderful ladies , I have been blessed to meet here in this place where we can just feel how we feel , without fear of stressing those we love with our real deepest fears and pains. Here is where there is no reason to be anyone else than who we really are now! Bless you for moving out and about, seeing friends sounds like a good idea to me. I'm seeing my best friend Saturday , I have known her since I was 12 and we always end up rolling with healthy laughter about all the trouble we used to get in. Lol. Have a restful day. ~M~
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MY URN ARRIVED THIS AFTERNOON, AND IT IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN THE PICTURES ON THE WEBSITE!!! It's raku brass.
Choosing my own urn was so empowering for me. Pooh on you, Mr. Cancer!
I'm so excited...now I won't end up like my mother-in-law whose ashes are still in the original, dusty cardboard box, sitting on a forgotten shelf in the parlor. (Hopefully this will inspire my DH to buy his late mom a decent urn now, too. She passed over 5 years ago. Ahem...I think it's time 😉.)
Hope this post doesn't bring anyone down...but despite buying my urn, which I can now check off the list, I plan to continue fighting and live a good quality life. I can't choose the day and circumstances of my passing, but I CAN choose where and how my remains will be kept.
Lita: Score 1.....Mr. Cancer: Score 0
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Lita~ I am speechless at the strength I have just witnessed with what you have written and posted. It's very touching for you to share that with all of us. It truly is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It's remarkable to think that you have taken such control and with such authority are making whatever happens ok. You inspire me. Thank you. God bless you. ~M~0
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Lita, that urn is gorgeous! You chose very, very well. How big is it?
I have to say it, I just love your spirit and your spunky attitude. You remind me of the way my mother used to say to me in her southern accent, "Look, if you've got it to do, just get it done." Isn't that great? She was also saying "JUST DO IT!" wayyyy before Nike ever thought of it. :-D
I can just feel your relief at checking off this very big box. YAY, LITA!!!
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Lulubee...the urn is about 10 1/2 inches tall and 7 inches in diameter. The next week or so, we'll be visiting the mausoleum again. Haven't purchased the niche yet...wanted to get the urn first so I can check for size. DH and I would like to get a "double" niche to hold 2 urns.
When we visited the cemetery/mausoleum some months ago, we were shocked at how much they charge for urns...a few hundred bucks or more for something that isn't even all that great. I got this one online for under 150.00, including shipping and handling.
If anyone wants the website, PM me. No need to give them "free" advertising on this forum ;o). I had to wait several weeks to place the order, because this particular urn was "sold out" for quite a while. The site emailed me when they finally came in. "Get 'em while they're hot," as they say.
Now I can enjoy looking at it for months...uh, um...YEARS(?) to come!
L
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YEARS, Lita, yes!!! Years and years and years.
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lita...that urn is beautiful...my sweet mother in law has the same container that your mil has...still waiting to get up north to the U.P. in michigan to place them in one of the most beautiful and wild places we enjoy in Michigan...( grandma was an original wild child, we were best friends ) ...I've been looking for a 3-D sterling tear drop pendant for my daughter...most of this jewelry comes with a tiny funnel then you replace a tiny screw to hold in the ashes.( all I'm finding are flat tear drop shapes )..some companies can take a tiny bit of the ashes and create an art glass pendant that contains the ash....I've also read about a company that will turn your whole body (or most of it anyway ) into a diamond....(diamond=carbon=organic life+add very high pressure)..that would solve the problem of sitting on a shelf in the back bedroom closet...lol...(grandma is hanging in there, but at least she is close, and this is my art room and she always inspired me )..so even tho technically it is not a natural diamond the cost is about the same per carat size ..i thought this was really kinda cool when i first heard of it...i think they've been offering this for at least 15 years now.
Is this urn "gettem while they last" or "gettem while you last"...lol...sorry I couldnt resist
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Nan...LOL at your post. I love the "get 'em while YOU last."
DH wants to take mil's ashes to hawaii. Not sure when that will be. All in God's time I guess.
Wishing everyone pain free days ahead.
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I want my ashes spread in the ocean. I do not want a memorial service.....just my family getting together for a nice meal together where they can tell funny stories about me!! I have written a letter to each of my grown children. Still need to do hubby and grandson. Those are harder for me. Most of my paperwork is in order. If only I could tie all the loose ends up!! I'll get there eventually but if not oh well.
That is a beautiful urn Lita!! I feel your excitement in getting it and understand. One biggie to cross off the list. Genteel hugs to all and wishes for a pain free tomorrow. Jul
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I couldn't agree more about the large funeral/ mass issue. I don't want that either. I want to play the song September by Earth Wind and Fire, a at low key gathering of my dearest and nearest only. Cremate me and I want a little ashes in the ocean in chincoteague, Va. on the drive on beach at the hook. Where are my best memories of our family together free and happy. Complete peacefulness. I also would like some spread at the first place Dh and I fell in love. I don't want any hooplah, or a procession to any funeral place to where they can over charge my family buckets of money that I end up leaving them. Uh no! Go live your life and remember you have an angel now, is what I will tell them YEARS from now lita. Years. y-e-a-r-s! live well today ladies. Lita like I said before it's magnificent, I am honored to be in the presence of someone like you. ~M~ you give me strength to consider looking into things I know I can't do with my family just yet, but can do here with you all. Thank you again.
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okay the urn freaked me out a bit...now I'm like to I need to get one? Having bad abdominal pain today still hoping beyond hope it's only SE from letrozole.
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Sorry for the freak out, Wendy.
No, don't do anything until you feel you need to. Getting the urn is part of my own healing process. It's taking the "sting" and helpless power away from my situation.
We all have to cope with the cancer beast the best way we know how.
Selecting and buying the urn is MY declaration that I'm not dead yet and that I STILL have some power and control. As long as we're not totally bedridden, we ALL still have some power and control of how we choose to feel about all this crap and what we choose to do with the precious time even we have left.
Cancer didn't choose my urn.
Death didn't choose my urn.
I CHOSE my urn.
L
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Lita~. We All have our own way of doing things. I told my dh about your urn, and he said he thinks that it might be a nice thing for you to see and touch. Hethinks it's a sign of a powerful woman who isn't leaving anything undone. He thinks your amazing! So do I. Look we know some people are uncomfortable about the unknown and I don't blame them, I include myself As one.At least you're making sure for yourself, there are less unknowns! Lovely choice! ~M~
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Micmel, interesting and very insightful comments from your dh. I think I would agree with his assessment. Thanks for sharing!
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Lita- definitely years to look at your beautiful urn!
Babs
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Lita...you are definitely AWESOME !!!
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Lita, I totally get your desire to do what you can to stay in control of YOUR decisions.DH I did not want a big funeral or memorial service and he got furious! Said it wasn't for me it was for my surviving people. But I don't care, I just don't want it. I have always been a very private "low profile" kind of person and all that hoopla and expense and stress it will conjure up just gives me the Heevy Jeevys. I told him I want to be scattered from rainbow bridge near where we met with just my kids. Anyway, good for you, the urn is gorgeous. I hope you look at it for many years and that the spinal pain is received soon.
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First set of CT scans since Stage IV diagnosis are tomorrow. Scanxiety never gets easier, does it?
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believe~ i don't scan until may, and I already have it. I just think we are stuck, not knowing sucks, knowing sucks, having cancer sucks. But I know how you feel, we all do, you're not alone. (((Hugs )))) and endless prayers for everyone in this amazing community here.
Rest well ladies ~M~
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believe~mic~....I have it too!!!...my scans are still 4 weeks away!!!...lots of new bad pain, makes it so hard to wait...then wait again...then again...etc....
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Believes, Good luck today. We will be with you in spirit as you have your scans. We all know how stressful it can be. Do you know how long it will take to get your results? I think waiting is the worst part!
Lynne
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Believes - hugs that all goes well
Mine are scheduled for late April or May. I have it on my calendar and trying not to focus. I don't think I live scan to scan but it is always in the back of my thoughts
Nel
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Whew, CT scans show no new mets! Blessings, good wishes and positive energy to all who are preparing for or going through the God-awful waiting game and scanxiety. It's so comforting to be among others who 'get it'' and are so supportive.
Hugs to all,
Marti
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Awesome Believe! go celebrate and we will do the happy dance!!!
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Believe,
Nice to meet you and happy for your good results.
Every now and then, I like to give this thread a nudge back to it's original topic, so in that spirit, I'm on spring break this week (so normal!).Yesterday was my granddaughter's 5th birthday party. It was held at younger dd's house since she has a large backyard. Here's a picture of Frankie, the birthday girl, and her cousin (my sweet grandson), Miles. Miles will turn 1 in a few weeks. I am so thrilled to be part of these special times. When I was dx'ed, my younger dd wasn't married and I had no grandchildren!
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OMG Caryn those two are just darling! Miles is no longer a baby but a little boy! Looks like Frankie is pretty smitten with him too. I get Spring break from school next week and just can't wait. We are all moved into the new house so now it's time to make some art, take pictures and play my guitar (badly) LOL! We are expecting another storm Friday but hope to get some sunny days to soak up after that. Have a good rest of spring break!
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Believe
Thanks for posting such a beautiful photo reminding us of the title of this thread. I must follow suit when I work out how to do it.
My children are 15,16 and my 'baby' is 14. It's very tough at the moment but they keep me going.
Liz
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BeautifuL kids, Caryn!
I spent the past weekend at a college sorority reunion with women I haven't seen in 30 plus years. It was SO much fun, even ran into a couple with their own BC stories to share. So..a little EXTRA sisterhood. I would have danced, but I sprained my foot really badly couple of days ago and am in a cast. This is more klutz related than cancer related.
Next up, going to a state I have never been to (and I've been to many)... Kentucky! For a girls weekend. Five of us flying to spend a long weekend with a friend there. Still in a cast, but still expecting to have a great time.
Stefanie
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Caryn, what a spectacular picture of Frankie & Miles! Wow, life really does go on, doesn't it? Hard to believe your grandkids are growing up so fast. I can definitely see that Frankie resembles you. Beautiful kids.
I've been mulching my flower beds in the backyard this week, it is hard on my body but looks so nice all year when complete. We are celebrating the demolition of a duplex across the alley from us. It was owned by a slumlord (hope theres a special place in hell for their kind), disgustingly rundown but still rented out. A huge blight in the neighborhood and we finally got the place condemned, a wonderful thing. My backyard feels so incredibly different with that place and its inhabitants gone, and I can't help but thinking I am so glad to be here to experience this. In good weather, we love sitting on the back porch or around the firepit and its gonna be soooo much nicer now.
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EXB~ absolutely precious! I worry about this everyday. Thank you for showing me that it can all still happen. God bless those beautiful children. I hope you enjoy every smile, every laugh, special little gifts. ~M~
Believe~. Yay yay yay! So happy to hear that! 🍾🍾🍾🎉🎉🎉😁😁😁 have a great day and relax. Thanks for sharing that great news! ~M~
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