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Unilateral mastectomy & reconstruction

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Comments

  • Frostecat
    Frostecat Member Posts: 223
    edited September 2014

    Hi Sparkle!  Well I was thinking I was on the mend, and apparently too soon, because Monday I went bra and compression shopping and must have really done a number on my self trying on, pulling over my head, tugging what not and must have pulled/tore something on my mastectomy side.  I've been in a great deal of pain the last couple of days, but I have a Dr's appt. today, so I'll see what he says.  I actually thought I was doing better, but obviously was too soon. (just because you think you can doesn't mean you should).

    Well you are asking for the truth - so here it is from my perspective (so far).  My PS also told me that the exchange/lift would be "nothing" compared to what I had been through (UMX).  I asked how long I would be out of work for, and they kept telling me 4-6 weeks, which really didn't seem like "nothing" to me.  I'm with you, I think the anesthesia does a big number on our bodies.  My surgery started at 7:30 am and was to go until 11:30 as he had another breast cancer surgery at a hospital at 12:30.  My lift/exchange was done in their surgery center.  Well I was under until 2:00 pm.  He told my DH that making the "sling" includes hundreds of stitches and is very time consuming, but I also had fat grafting done.  He said that is really time consuming too as it takes about a hundred shots with the needle for the fat grafting.  He said out of all of his patients I was the one who ever had the most fat grafting done.  I also did have some lipo done at the time too, I don't think that was all too time consuming from what I understand, my PS talked me into doing it, he said I am having lipo anyways, so I might as well just go for it, and that way he could get some really good fat, I have plenty of that to spare.

    Well when I first took a look, the lift side is scary, and still is.  It is so odd to see stitches around your areola.  It almost looks folded in some spots, so I hope that corrects itself.  Then you have stitches going straight down, then once it reaches the IMF goes off to the side towards your armpit.  On my 2nd post op appt. they made me look at it with a mirror - yikes!  That was awful looking, I was very black, blue and yellow and that stitching looks awful, and it is still oozing for me.  I have a very large breast so they told me they had a lot of skin to work with that's why stitching/skin looks rolled.  I also had lipo under my armpit, and I ain't gonna lie, that stings, and still does. Honestly, 2 weeks out, it doesn't look much better.  The tough part is trying to find a bra that works (hence why I went shopping).  The scar underneath is in a precarious place, where the band from any bra I've tried so far rides up underneath it, even the Genie bra, which is ok but I think I still need more support than that too.  I don't want this thing to start drooping after all of this!  

    On the UMX side, it looks and feels better not to have the TE riding up to my chin for sure.  They also told me at my post op appt. that my TE flipped a little.  I now have the Allergen 410 Gummie, which he thought would more closely match my natural breast, and I'm sure he is right, I don't think a round would have looked right.  I had pretty big dog ears on either side of my scar, and he removed those.  I had a big mud flap on the sternum side of my scar that was really bothering me, it looked really strange when I bent over an I asked him before surgery if there was some sort of fancy stitch or something that he cold do cause I hated that thing.  He did fix it, and I did have regular stitches that needed to be removed from there, it still doesn't look right to me but better.  But I don't think I will be able to ever wear low cut tops again, the scar is pretty visible and the shape is odd.  I did have a drain on that side for about 9 days.  They pulled it a little early, but then wrapped me in an ace bandage for 2 days and made me swear I wouldn't do anything for 2 days with that arm.  Apparently with anatomicals, with fluid building up, there is more likely a chance for them to "flip" so they wanted to make sure that didn't happen.

    I told my work I would be back in 4 weeks - thank God I work at a wonderful place and they told me to take all the time I need.  I feel like I've been off so much this year already, and I don't want to push it.  I really thought this surgery would be much, much less than before, but now you are dealing with pain on 2 sides, instead of 1.  And for me, the anesthesia makes me very weak.  That has been tough, my energy level, I can go for a little while, but I have yet to go a whole day without a nap. Some of my naps are for about 1 1/2 hours, sometimes 4.  I still get tired easily.  What do they say, for every hour you are under anesthesia, it takes a week for it to get out of your system?

    To be honest with you, I still have regrets about just not going for the BMX initially, not have to worry about mammograms and what not, my Dr's at the time told me I didn't need to do it so I listened to them.  Thinking the surgery would be less.  Had I known I would have had to go for 6 months being extremely lopsided and uncomfortable, stuffing my bra with a foob, and still ending up having surgery on both breasts, and the symmetry not as well as a BMX - I dunno.  I hope I can be like others on here who said they were glad they chose the UMX in the long run.  I hope I too can say that, right now I can't, especially with this healing process taking much longer than if it was just an exchange itself.

    As far as nipple reconstruction, I am leaning against that.  I am sick of surgeries and want to hopefully be done with all of this.  I'm thinking a road trip someday to see Vinnie for a 3D tattoo is more for me, just a regular nipple for me.  I hope to someday look in the mirror and not think "breast cancer" every time I do.

    My PS did tell me to be patient, right now my lifted breast is very pointed and UMX needs to "fall".  He assures me that they will even up as time goes on, I'll just have to be patient to wait and see.  After I had my UMX everyone kept telling me "you don't look any different".  Well that is because I had one side of my bra stuffed like a turkey.  The real obviousness of all this is now.  I am very much smaller breasted than in the past.  That I do not mind at all, and actually considered a reduction but didn't want or expect it to be in this way!  I was a 42D before, and at 54 years old, the droop was definitely there.  I will say I do like having smaller breasts, it actually makes me look thinner and my clothes fit and look so much better.  At least what I have had on so far, mostly still in pj's.

    As far as the lipo goes, if anyone is considering that, I had my abdomen done.  I always had a problem area there, even when I was thin, and I thought with my breasts being smaller my tummy is really going to stick out even more.  I was very black and blue from that the first week, but it really is nothing, at least compared to everything else.  I need to wear compression garments for about 3 months.  Honestly, I don't see that much of a difference, so I hope it was all worth it.  I am still fitting in the same size pants, albeit I don't have two big rolls on my tummy, it is a little more flat, but they say final results aren't for 3 months, so there again, I will be patient.  Lots of swelling for now.

    Sorry for rambling on so long, I grabbed my morning cup of joe and just started typing away.  If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask.  Wishing all of you ladies a lovely day!

  • scubalady
    scubalady Member Posts: 49
    edited September 2014

    Hi Sparkle.  I am also a Uni so I thought I'd give you a bit of my story also since there are not a lot of us around.  

    I am 62 years old and was diagnosed with IDC in my right breast in February of this year.  All tests, including a PEM indicated that there was nothing in the left breast and that there was no reason to remove it. Based on that I opted for the UMX on the right.  I was a 34 DDDD and so reduction on the left side was pretty much required as expansion on the right to that size was definitely not an option, and like Frostecat, I had also considered breast reduction due to shoulder and neck pain, but also didn't expect it to happen this way.

    I had UMX on the right on April 16, but unlike Frostecat, my PS did the lift and reduction on my left side at the time of the mastectomy, which is very different than the way most surgeons do it.  While I was quite concerned with the fact that most did the lift at the time of exchange, I have to say that it was nice to have the most extensive surgery as the first one and not have the trouble with dealing with one side a DDDD and the other side much smaller with an expander.  Also, if it had turned out that I had to have chemo or radiation (it didn't), I would have had to deal with being grossly lopsided for a much longer period of time. I would have to say that overall, I am happy with the left lifted/reduced side.  On the lifted/reduced side I had the areola incision, the vertical incision, and the IMF incision that extended to under my armpit so that I didn't have the large mudflap on that side.  The areola incision and the vertical have faded substantially and the IMF one is a bit slower to fade.  I believe that is probably because my bra band sits on it.

    I just had my exchange on September 17.  My PS found I had formed a lot of scar tissue internally on the mastectomy incision, so he had to do a great deal of cleanup work on that as it would prevent the implant from settling in the pocket.  I also had an extra roll of skin/fat on the mastectomy side that had to be removed to match with the other side.  Just having Lipo on that would have removed the fat, but not the extra skin, so I have an incision there that also extends into my armpit.  It's probably about 8 to 10 inches long.  Right now, size wise, I think the implant matches the reduced side pretty well, but it definitely needs to settle into the pocket as it is still riding quite high and I have a dent and pucker underneath the mastectomy scar (the exchange was through a new IMF incision) that should go away if the implant settles to where it belongs.  There is still a good chance I will have fat grafting to fill in once it has settled.

    I'm also undecided about nipple reconstruction and may just go with a Vinnie tattoo.  That decision might depend on wether or not nipple construction would make an improvement in the shape of the reconstructed breast because my lifted/reduced breast is also more pointed than the UMX side.  

    I also have some regrets about not going with the BMX.  I will always be nervous on every mammogram that they will find something in the left, and also that they won't find something that is actually there because most of the tests on the right side, even after I felt a lump, didn't show what was actually found there from the surgery.  I was thought to have 7mm of IDC and pathology after surgery confirmed 2.7 cm of IDC and also DCIS, so I went from stage I before surgery to stage IIA based on the pathology report.  I know there has been a lot of discussion and reports showing that BMX does not improve survival rates and that women should not be so quick to opt for BMX versus lumpectomy and radiation or UMX.  However, knowing that the tests, or interpretations can be inaccurate, I don't think it is so much a matter of survival rates from the first diagnosed cancer, but the risk of another cancer in the remaining breast tissue.  If anything should be found on my left side in the future, I know I will be facing another mastectomy and reconstruction.  My husband says I should be at peace with my decision for the UMX because it was based on what we knew at the time.

    I too have rambled on, but once you start telling the story, it seems to go that way.  

    Well, back to work at moving foreword, being positive, and putting any regrets aside.

    Smile

  • scary
    scary Member Posts: 91
    edited September 2014

    Frostecat, it sounds like I am going to have a surgery very similar to yours.  one more fill to go tomorrow, then they will schedule the exchange/lift/tummy lipo.

  • Akitagirl
    Akitagirl Member Posts: 4
    edited September 2014


    HI everyone,

    I am a 42 yo with recent dx of IDC (clinical stage1 with 1.9 cm tumor, ER/PR+, HER2-) and am planning on a unilateral nipple sparing masectomy.  I have very small breasts and would like to not only reconstruct but also augment bilaterally to a full B cup or possibly a C.  I am just concerned that my skin will not stretch well, as I get stretch marks just by sneezing!  Anyone else with this type of a case and share your story?  I am also interested in how you now feel with larger breasts than your original. 

    Thank you in advance!

    Akitagirl

  • Frostecat
    Frostecat Member Posts: 223
    edited September 2014

    Akita - I certainly, didn't have small breasts.  I wanted a nipple sparing mastectomy, but my PS said my breasts were too large and he couldn't do it, so lucky you!  If you read around on these boards, there have been several in your situation where they have added a small implant to make the breast appear larger.  There is someone on this board, I just forget who right now!  My guess is you will go the tissue expander route on the mastectomy breast, followed with an implant on the natural breast at exchange time.  

    I see you are relatively new to the boards so welcome.  You might want to try and gain access to the picture forum, there you will find the gambit of various different types of surgeries, their process and outcomes.

  • lala1
    lala1 Member Posts: 974
    edited September 2014

    Scubalady and Frostecat---Personally speaking, the nip recon did not give me that "pointed" look of the native side and from what I understand, that is not really possible. That's why unis have such a hard time with bras. The only thing the nip recon did for me is give me two nipples instead of one when I look down at myself. It just so happened that, for me, that gave me huge boost to my self esteem. It made me feel more "normal". Might not be the same for others....just speaking for myself. Also, for me, the nip recon was not another surgery. It was done in the surgical suite at my PS office but involved me removing my clothing from the waist up, lying on a table, getting an injection on the mastectomy side which I didn't feel (less painful than the tattoo!) and him building me a nip while we visited. I stopped for lunch on the way home, took a shower after 2 days (sponge baths till then), went back for a checkup and just kept it well padded for 3 months. Very, very easy. I know not all are like that but that's how my PS did the origami method (CV flap). It is a "surgery" but not a surgery if you know what I mean. I get my roots of my teeth planed (extra extra deep cleaning)  every couple of years and I'll do a nip recon anyday over that!!

    As to the possibility of cancer on the other side....it can come back even with a mastectomy so that doesn't guarantee anything. And you will be followed so closely by all your docs that if there is something, they will find it quick and get it out. And now that you've been through one Mx, the other will be a little easier since you're much more prepared, both emotionally and physically. Knowing how difficult it was to get around with one arm, think of how hard it would have been with both out of commission! That's how I look at it and it makes me very much in awe of women who have bilaterals and very glad I still had one good arm!!

  • Unknown
    edited September 2014

    Frostecat, how do I get to the picture forum?

  • Unknown
    edited September 2014

    Lala, I am with you, I am happy to have one side done and will not worry about Cancer occurring in the natural Breast. My heart goes out to the women who had double MX, I don't know how they do it. As far as knowing what to expect a second time around,,,, I think personally I would rather not know what to expect..lol.. I am not happy yet with my symmetry, but I am not done yet either, I have one more surgery to go to "tweak " the girls,,,I am a Uni, and my natural Breast were 42C, I am smaller than that on my natural Breast,I think he lifted a little more than I wanted reduced,,, my implant side has a Naturelle 45/800ccs, ...... I don't know,,,,, I have appt with PS on Monday to discuss what we will be doing in my next surgery on the 7th... I don't know how to approach the subject,, should I ask for mall implant in natural side so it is more rounded at top, or exchange implant for smaller one ????? I don't know what to do,,,,,,, healing Hugz to all,,,,,,, J

  • vettegirl
    vettegirl Member Posts: 136
    edited September 2014

    Jeannie-I will be getting a smaller implant in my natural side when I have exchange surgery in December.  At time of Uni  on left, I had my natural side lifted, nipple moved up, and he put a small extender in so we can try to achieve symmetry at time of exchange.  My natural side was always a little smaller than the breast that I lost...I used to wear a 42DD bra.  I am a little nervous that they only make up to a 800cc silicone implant-I dont want saline...so hope I can still keep my larger size.  With them not being so droopy, I am sure they will look bigger than they are-just dont want them under my chin, lol.  I just want to look as close to I did before as I can. 

  • Frostecat
    Frostecat Member Posts: 223
    edited September 2014

    Search "BEFORE REQUESTING ACCESS FOR PICTURE FORUM" on the search engine here. It will give you instructions on how to do it.  It is a bit complicated, but most of us have managed.  Just read the instructions step by step.

    I tried to post the link but can't.  I don't know if it's because I work on a MAC or what, but I have never had any luck with posting links here.  I've tried copy and paste - no, and I've also clicked on the link icon above and inserted the link and it still doesn't work.  So I don't know what I'm doing wrong.  I've posted links from my PC at work with no troubles, but for some reason when I am at home on the MAC I can't get it to work.

  • Fourminor
    Fourminor Member Posts: 118
    edited September 2014

    So I'm two weeks away from my surgery now and I keep grabbing my girls and noticing how nice they feel in a good support bra (32DD) and now nice they look in clothes, and how nice in general they still look (despite one pregnancy, the two lumps and RT to the left), and I feel like I'm just walking off a plank.  I had a discussion with a very practical gay male friend who was probably the wrong person to have this discussion with, about how I'd sort of prefer to lose a kidney than a breast.  At least with a kidney my body would be the same shape.  He couldn't understand why I would prefer to trade a vital organ for a non-vital one, and then i said, "this is silly."  How would a gay man know how vital they are to me?   I really have always enjoyed getting dressed, even as my body has changed.  I don't want to hide and pad things.  I wish there was any other option.

    I don't know what to hope for with reconstruction.  I know it will be impossible to match an implant with a natural breast.  I'd like to be pleasantly surprised, but I hope at least for something I can live with.  

    I hated all my life that my nipples were flat, they gave me so much trouble when I tried to breast feed, but maybe this means I can get by with just a tattoo and skip one procedure.

  • Frostecat
    Frostecat Member Posts: 223
    edited September 2014

    Fourminor - I had similar feelings to you when diagnosed, although this doesn't seem to be your first rodeo, so to speak. I kept saying "Isn't there any other way than surgery?, My gosh can't they just stick a needle in there and blast the tumor away or something?"  I couldn't believe surgery was the only option, which goes to show you my naivety on the whole subject of BC at the time.

    I had such issues with losing my breast that I tried to keep it as quiet as humanly possible. and still do.  As a matter of fact at work, when I was going to be off for 6 weeks, my boss asked me "what do you want me to tell people", I said I don't care, tell them I'm having a hysterectomy or something.  Why does having a hysterectomy not seem so invasive, visual, as bad or whatever words I am looking for.  I guess I just always felt like people would be looking at my breasts, and quite frankly, those that know I did have a mastectomy do.  It is quite an uncomfortable feeling.  I think it is difficult for any man, gay or not, to truly understand it, after all, as you put it, they are "our girls".

  • Unknown
    edited September 2014

    Frostecat, that's what I have , gummy bear 800ccs and yes it has drooped, I am hoping with him taking the excess skin off that side it will lift and tighten the implant up. My lift was done July 17th, same thing, nipple moved also but no implant on that side, so rounded on implant side (and droopy) and sloped on natural side....maybe he can put implant in natural side to make more rounded??

  • Fourminor
    Fourminor Member Posts: 118
    edited September 2014

    I sort of don't care if people know.  For one thing, I hope it scares some people to stop thinking that mammography is something that you just get around to when you get around to it.    Or that if they don't look, they won't find anything, and then magically cancer can't happen to them.  

    And if I come out looking half normal, the next time I have to talk to someone about her mammogram (Ironically,  i am reading these damn things too on other women, even now!!) she will see something that makes it less frightening.  Just a few weeks before I was dx'd I dx'd a real nasty tumor on a woman younger than me and I started crying along with her, remembering how awful this was for me the first time.  Little did I know I'd be going back on the operating table right behind her!

    Though I have to admit, yesterday I was talking to a woman who had a benign finding that she really didn't need to think about and she was so neurotic and hysterical that I wanted to tell her that she really should be glad she doesn't have a real problem, like me.    And another women who was also normal said to me, "You mean, i don't have to write my will yet?," making a joke, and I felt like it hit me in the heart.    But i can't say anything.  Which is why I need to get this over with.

  • Frostecat
    Frostecat Member Posts: 223
    edited September 2014

    Fourminor - I didn't realize this was you career.  That would be extremely difficult during this time.  I know when I was having my stereotactic biopsy, the technician had just had a BMX and she was very sympathetic and wonderful to me, and she made me feel good to know that I too can get through this.

  • Unknown
    edited September 2014

    oh Frostecat,,,, that must be so hard for you,,, I can barely say out loud even to myself that I HAD Breast Cancer without crying,,,, I am wanting to join a support group but then that means when I go for my first time I will need to admit to myself the truth,,,, I mean I am fully aware EVERY day of my situation, but hard to talk about it without crying.. I had my annual pap on Tuesday and I have not seen my GYN Dr. Since my DX, and we cried together(she is female)....I don't really care if people look or not, it just bothers me when they do it as soon as they see me,,,, hopefully this will be done with in 2weeks. I did read on a post that someone said do not stop until you (me) are satisfied with your outcome.

  • Frostecat
    Frostecat Member Posts: 223
    edited September 2014

    Jeanie, I'm not much of a crier.  Actually I think I only once or twice shed a couple of tears over all of this, I'm more of an internalizer, which I know isn't good for the health, everyone tells me to "let it out".  I'm not purposely trying to be "tough", it's just the way I'm built I guess.  

    Since all of this has happened and the few people who do know (thanks to my DH, that's another story), I don't see them all that often, it is usually at a social gathering, and I just hate it when I'm having a good time and someone says something to me.  I know they mean well, but damn it, I'm out to have a little fun, I live with this crap 24/7 and I don't want to constantly be reminded of it, when I'm trying to be "up".  There is no quicker way to bring me down when at a party or get together than someone to corner me and bring up BC to me!

  • islandmom
    islandmom Member Posts: 131
    edited September 2014

    Bosum, normally the nips are made out of the breast skin and the skin for the areola is what is grafted.  So the nip will still be light color, but the areola will have texture and color.  In my case, I have olive skin and my nips are dark, the grafted areola from the groin area is not as dark.  I do have texture.  

    In regard to projection.  You will get very little because the grafted skin is not much thicker than the breast skin.  The nip will flatten as you probably know.  The first nip I had flattened, then, about 9 months ago, my PS redid the nip again, because I had to have some scar tissue (from the other side) removed anyway, so he used the opportunity. After the second time, I got a little more projection.

    About the projection, when looking at the foob, it looks fine.  It is when you compare it to the other side, it will always fall short.  That being said, I wear non-stretchy unlined bras most of the time, no issues filling the cup.  I can wear a fitted tube top dress without a bra or any support ( I do not do this too often) and it looks normal.  

    What is probably the most important thing for us unis is finding a skilled PS.   I had saggy breasts, breastfed two boys.  I could have never worn what I can wear now. 

  • lala1
    lala1 Member Posts: 974
    edited September 2014

    I had a small implant put in at exchange on my native side. It was 120cc which was the smallest my PS had at the time. Turns out I needed it. He had to give me 600cc on mx side to even give me some projection that actually looked like a boob. The 120cc implant then made my 500cc native side match much better. The nurse said he put in about half a dozen on mx, sat me up, decided they were all too small and said "to hell with it. let's lift the other side and then start again." She said after he lifted the native side, he put in a few more and finally went with the 600cc and then added the 120 to match. She said it was quite a process. But that's cool....I was sleeping like a baby and now I have a damn good pair all considering. The augment to the native side did not give me that upper pole roundness that the implant has but I've gotten quite a bit of droop over the last year with the implant so it's pretty close. And I massage it every day still which I think helps with the ptosis. I'll try to post some pics of me in a good underwire bra on my picture forum and that will give you a good idea of how symmetrical they are in a bra....which is really what counts the most since that's our "public" face.

  • scubalady
    scubalady Member Posts: 49
    edited September 2014

    lala1, can you give some information on the kind of massage you do that helps with the ptosis?

  • stepmic
    stepmic Member Posts: 67
    edited September 2014

    Thanks Lala, for all the great details on your nipple reconstruction. My PS calls the method you described the skate flap. Seriously after reading about Vinnie I might be travelling to the US to get him to do the tattooing! I am booked for nip in January.

    I am sorry to read the struggles of many here on the board, I wish for positive changes in your futures.

    As for bras, there are many great suggestions here. I am lucky that I can wear an underwire bra but do need to add a small triangular shaped foam pad that I bought somewhere to fill out the end of my implant side as it is more rounded than my natural lifted and reduced side. However, when I wear a sports bra then I don't need to add anything. My most comfortable supporting sports bra has underwire, made by Lily of France - style # 2101755. 

    I will post some bra pics on pic forum soon! 

    Oh and we had a wonderful trip to Italy!

    K

  • lala1
    lala1 Member Posts: 974
    edited September 2014

    scubalady---Per my PS instructions once I was healed, move the implant in all 4 directions 10 times once a day. I started out with that but now I just move it side to side about 30 times while in the shower every night. This is supposed to help prevent capsular contracture. And it also helps the implant to settle into place and look softer and more natural without so much of the fullness on top that I started with.

  • tessy
    tessy Member Posts: 38
    edited September 2014

    lala1,

    I am going to ask my PS about this. I am having a revision in 2 weeks. Mine did not drop and fluff and I was wondering if I should have been doing anything to help it along. I didn't like touching the area after surgery because it felt so weird to me. The plan is to remove the 750 cc mentor smooth mod plus profile and replace it with an 800 cc one and do some FG and also release scar tissue caused by radiation. The native breast was lifted with the implant placement back in January. I am wanting a small implant on that side to have more upper pole fullness to match the implant side. FG was also discussed for that side but I am hesitant to do so at this time. I am worried that the mammograms to that side will displace the fat. So many things to worry about!

  • Fourminor
    Fourminor Member Posts: 118
    edited October 2014

    I just have to say again I am seriously amazed by how many people question why i am only having the one breast removed.  I would have to say that it is almost everyone.

    One well meaning friend said, "at least you will get new boobs!"  It reminded me of why I don't talk to her that often.  She apologized and said she was trying to put a positive spin on it.  I told her a positive spin would be if she went and got a mammogram.

  • Frostecat
    Frostecat Member Posts: 223
    edited October 2014

    Fourminor - all of my friends said that to me to "if it were me, I would just go ahead and have them both removed"  my reply was " but if you were truly in my situation and they were YOUR breasts, you may think differently"  and everyone told me "well at least you will get new perky boobs, it will probably make you look thinner".  I really do believe people just don't know what to say.

  • angelia50
    angelia50 Member Posts: 168
    edited October 2014

    Fourminor, I can understand your feeling.  One person I work with, which is a younger person, probably 25 and I'm 58, asked if my husband had asked the plastic surgeon to give me some new big ones. I said no, he would never do that because this is far to serious.  I wasn't mad, she is young and I know she didn't meant to be rude but I said this is far to much of a new wound for him to say or think that.  I don't think people understand that just because I didn't have chemo and I don't look or act sick, doesn't mean this isn't serious.  Yes, I had invasive cancer and nobody but God knows if there are live cells somewhere in my body.  I only had the one side done because I frankly, was crushed when I found out I had to have the mastectomy, I had looked at pictures and I just could not stand the thought, so the easiest way out what what I thought i was taking, by only have pain on that one side.  In hindsight, I kind of wish I had done both, just so I would not have to deal with ongoing mammograms and as much constant fear but then I think how this has felt with one side and one TE and all of this, and I cannot imagine dealing with both sides feeling that way.  That is also why I am afraid of doing a lift on the natural side, the idea of having both sides in pain at the same time.

  • Fourminor
    Fourminor Member Posts: 118
    edited October 2014

    it just happened again!  Ex-co worker had to stop by who i now regret speaking to at all. She said, "are you having both off?" And when i said "no", she said (this is a physician), "what does your surgeon say about that?"  I almost threw a fit.   I wish my door had a lock right now. 

  • islandmom
    islandmom Member Posts: 131
    edited October 2014

    I found that most people mean well, they just do not know what to say.  They are just trying to give a positive spin, so I take it exactly as that.  The truth is that before BC, I was a different person, I might not have said something outrageous but I had no idea what cancer was all about. This experience changes you in a profound way. 

    One time I was at my son's swim meet when a friend's husband asked me who my PS was.  When I told him, he commented on what an amazing job he had done.  I did not know what to say other than 'thank you'.  Some people are just clueless...

    About opting for the uni route it is a very personal choice.  Being almost 4 years since this whole ordeal began, I  am very happy with my decision, although, I had my moments of doubt.  Occasionally, I am asked why I did not have a BMX, I simply say:  I just did not feel like cutting off a perfectly good breast.   

    I do not worry about recurrence, the way I see it is that I have changed everything in my control, I changed my diet , I exercise, sleep better.  If after all that, BC still made an ugly appearance, then I do not have to wish I had done this or that.  I would accept whatever comes my way.   As a side benefit of diet and exercise is that I feel better than ever, physically and mentally.  

    Most of you are just going through the most difficult time, but just know that it will pass.  

  • angelia50
    angelia50 Member Posts: 168
    edited October 2014

    Islandmom, I think you are right, they have no idea.  They see all these people with augmentation and they think we just go in, they just make a small incision, pop out the old breast and pop in a new one and sew it back up. They have not idea what a process this is.  I actually watched a youtube video about mastectomy and I have a whole new respect for breast cancer surgeons, that is a long, tedious process, to remove a breast. I knew my doctor said her job was to get as close to the skin to remove as much tissue as possible, but not close enough to kill the skin and that was what her total focus would be during that surgery.  She said then, your plastic surgeon will come in and do his part. 

  • angelia50
    angelia50 Member Posts: 168
    edited October 2014

    BosumBlues, it didnt' bother me, I like to kind of understand what is going on.  Initially, it is a little raw but then, I really had an appreciation for just how difficult this surgery is.  LIke with a gall bladder, the surgeon goes in, sees it, takes it out but this is totally different, totally.  There is one on exchanges too. Makes me more aware of why I was glad I had an actual breast surgeon instead of a general surgeon, not that they aren't good doctors, but i was still glad I had one that dealt with this daily.