Starting chemo August 2014
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I feel the same way lately, nervous about how life will be once treatment ends and about starting tamoxifen. I broke up with my boyfriend during all this, I also feel nervous about meeting someone new. Anyway, now I need to get ready for work, another day another dollar. And I'm very late again
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Hi All,
For me, it seems an anxiety attack is always lurking beneath the surface. Last weekend, I got lost (by 1 block) getting DD to her gymnastics meet, and I went into a full blown panic attack. I couldn't breath, my vision was messed up, my heart was pounding, I started crying.. Normally this would not phase me at all. My sweet girl was totally freaked out! Through diagnosis and treatment, we go through so much stress, worry, and trauma. My panic moments don't surprise me at all.. Fortunately, DD had the best meet of her season! So now we joke can about it.
Be well!
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I cried like a big baby last night. I say a baby as the tears just rolled. They weren't tears of sadness, fear or anxiety. Just build up and relief that the treatment is almost over. Realization that I have 10 yrs of hormonal therapy. Reflecting on the community and I thought of all of you that I have met on this thread and another thread for Christian Woman that are so much a part of my life and the friendships we have forged. There are a few ladies that I met here and got pretty close with that have gone on to be with the Lord. Knowing!that I now must focus on living with my new normal and what does that really mean? The 3 month follow-up appts for the next 2 years. So much in 9 months and just now having the time to exhale. Just thank The Lord for life upon today! One thing I do know is that I will not be a workaholic and more travel is in my future! Ok done now thanks for letting me release.
Only 2 more Rads. I hurt like the dickens and skin is really slothing off. I am getting ready to step over the treatment finish line! Yay!
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Thank you dear Lady for sharing about tears. I cried almost nonstop for over 24 hours recently. It was,also a needed release. I think tears should be part of our treatment plan. Love, Jean
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LadyB - My RO used the medicated strips and gauze at the end with me also. Mainly for my nipple. Otherwise used several different creams and lotions recommended, which all helped. Almost finished! You are really close now, so take a deep breathe and know it will get better soon.
Love the hair pics. I totally messed up today. Colored my hair again because the color I'm using doesn't last very long. Well tried a different color. Oh my! I'm a red head lol I went out and bought a new color right away. Will try to fix it later tonight. Needless to say, red hair is not a good color for me. The color said dark golden blonde. The good new is it covered the grey.
Wish I could have a good cry. I have moments of teary eyes, but never had a real break down cry.
Hope everyone is feeling good and taking care
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I haven't had a good cry lately, but I agree that they can be healthy and cleansing. I had an odd moment on the rads table one day and almost started crying. Just an intense feeling of all I'd gone through and continue to go through to beat this disease.
I feel lucky that my hair's coming in thick, and people say it looks good and that they actually kind of like how I look with it so short. I'm ready to have enough hair that I can style it. One day at a time.
I've done 22 rads now, which leaves 6 more and then 7 boosts. I'm very red and getting more uncomfortable. I refilled my Rx for pain killers from surgery and am going to take one at bedtime, as last night I woke up feeling very uncomfortable under my arm pit. But so far it's still tolerable, and I'm grateful for that. I use aloe vera 2-3 times a day, calendula gel right after the treatments, aquaphor at night and some cold compresses too.
Almost every fingernail is lifting now, and at least one is infected.
I need to figure out what to do - call the doctor, soak in hydrogen peroxide and/or diluted vinegar... Such fun. Thank you, chemo.I'm glad it's the weekend! I've been back to work for 5 weeks, and it's still so good to be back. Makes me appreciate weekends again, too.
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Cassie not sure if this will help you, when my nails were lifting some weird yellow liquid was oozing from some of them if i pressed on it, it was clear like oil. Disgusting I know! Not sure if it was beginnings of an infection but my dermatologist was on vacation so I put tea tree oil on it. Think you are supposed to dilute it but I did not know and poured a tiny bit from the bottle to my nail. The yellow stuff disappeared and has not come back.
I had ingrown nail on my big toes on the inner sides after chemo and one got infected. I put the tea tree oil and it resolved itself in a day. Now the other sides of the nail started bothering me but I don't see redness or infection so guess this time I have to show up at the doctors. I did put the tea tree oil again though, just in case it works. Best few dollars i spent :
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I hear you Cassie on the rads and the nails.
Glad you have an rx....I used pain meds at the end too.
My nails are weird. Very ridged, and super weak. The edges grow oddly. Ugly looking. I keep them covered in clear polish, and am using nail hardner. So far not better. Yes, thanks chemo.......
I have been deep cleaning my house all week. Has not been done since last June, so imagine. It is so nice to be able to do it, it makes me cry with gratitude nearly. Never thought cleaning would do that! DH has been working every day, so I have had lots of alone time. It has been nice, and has given me time to sort myself out.
Doing things different now, and trying to embrace life more. Going to the fair this week, which I have not done in years. And, going to ride some scary fair rides and eat some scary food
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I think I have more hair and eyebrows than baby finally!!!!
Xoxo. Now I will catch up on thread .i hope you are all well
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awesome photo Nurseshark!
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windgirl, thanks for the suggestion. I'll look into it.
bippy, have fun at the fair!
NurseShark, awesome photo. You look great!
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Nurseshark=You both are SO Cute!!! Love that picture0 -
Nurseshark, you both look so cute! Love the photo and Levi's expression.
Cassie, I stepped up the pain mess about a week ago and again earlier this week. I have several open areas with the one under my arepa and under my breast (which goes all the way across) being the worst where I am putting medihoney also.
I also used tea tree oil on my nails. World like a charm.
1 more treatment on Monday! Yay! Almost there.
Jean, Gatomal and Beatmon how are you doing?
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Just resting up to start rads on Monday. Still a bit sore from the ALND surgery. Hopefully that will be healing as the rads progress. Love, Jean
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Bippy, how's the new gig going?
Jean, you have been through a lot, you can do rads. Badhairday, Toby, LARock and I will keep you entertained as you go through rads!!!! However, we need to locate Poppyk. She has fallen off the face of the earth!!!!
Where are you PoppyK????
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Thanks guys. With your encouragement I will make it. Rads entertainment sounds very intriguing. Love, Jean
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jean, you can and will!
Nurseshark, radiant you, and Baby Levi is his usual, "whatever man!" Love it and you both are beautiful!
Bippy will be at the fair this week, since she is semi retired now and nothing on schedule next week. Wooohoooo! Elephant ears, icecream, sausage pepper onion sammies! Also, double ferris wheel, and some others. I plan on winning stuffed animals and goldfishes. Yes, silly, but, a part of my bucket list. Bucket lists can be big and small.....startin small. Trying to enjoy each moment and rekindle fun I once had. I used to live for the fair! Yes, sad but true.....so I will post a pic from the top of the wheel. Perhaps with elephant ear in hand.
Angie you inspire me to renew my faith and am so grateful to have you as a sister.
Everyone, I tried to pm shirley aka pangotor, am thinking of her. Is she ok? Pangtidor, let us know!!
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any of you ladies have super dry skin since finishing chemo??
I was told by PS to start massaging scar with vitamin E oil. And realized it is wonderful to rub everywhere .it's the only thing that has moisturized my face yet.not even greasy my skin just soaked it right in.
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Nurse shark! You and baby look great! He's so big! one of mine has a cold so it was s long day and night yesterday. Of course now it's going around the house. I have a new helper starting Monday and can't wait to start getting some naps in. Not sleeping like I need to
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NurseShark, my face was dry during chemo but now seems to be going back to normal. My skin actually looked really good during chemo, with very few breakouts. Now I'm dealing with breakouts again. During chemo I had to moisturize at least2 times a day. I still do, but I have oily dry skin, if that's even possible.
Gatomal, I hope the new helper works out well!
Bippy, it's funny that you mention the fair and winning a goldfish. Those always tempt me when we go! Go win a goldfish or two and we can have a naming contest, lol! Eat some funnel cake for me, too.
Jean, I'm through 22 of 28 rads, with 7 boosts after that. I'm definitely red and uncomfortable now, but it continues to be tolerable. I take one tramadol at night to help me sleep through the night, as the discomfort woke me up a few nights ago and I can't do that every night. It isn't even that painful yet - just painful enough. I wish I were done, though.
Angie, I'm going to look into medihoney and see if that's something worth trying for my armpit.
Windgirl, sorry to hear about your breakup through all of this.
Re: my nails - we had some liquid on hand for DD's toe nails for fungus (dancer, always something going on the with this feet!) so I tried that under my nails. That, plus alternate soaks in hydrogen peroxide and vingear, seems to be helping. I did have some oozing one night (so gross) but that seems to be done now and the worst of the nails is starting to hurt less. So I'll keep it up.Catie57, how's your hair looking today? Better? What were the medicated strips and gauze that you got from your RO?
Angie, I'm so glad you shared openly with us. Your words resonated with me, and others too it sounds like.
DaisyQ, I have had times where the anxiety shoots straight to the surface. My girl, too, has witnessed far more crying and whatnot in my in the last 6 months than she probably ever has in her life. Glad your DD's meet went so well!
I would love to hear from the other ladies that used to post with us, though I'd understand too if some have moved on and away from the boards in an effort to close one chapter and move on to the next. It's different for each of us. But if you are out there reading, stop and say hi and let us know how you're doing.
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Cassiecat - I have the pkg in front of me of medicated strips. They are 5 x7 Occlusive Gauze Strip Overwrap". Basically saturated petroleum strips you put across your nipple with a gauze patch over it, so not to get on clothes or rub against anything. I used them 2x a day. Once right after Rad treatment and again on evening. Along with lotions recommended. Hope you can keep ahead of soreness. You are almost there.
LadyB - One more treatment! AWESOME...... Congrats!
My hair is still red. After coloring it twice in one day, I thought to give my hair a break for a few days. Don't want it falling out, now that it finally started growing lol My friend said that white hair grabs onto any reds in color. Now I have to figure out if I should go dark to cover it or try a light blond and see if will take away the red. Sounds more realistic to go darker. I can also Just wait it out a few weeks and wait for color to fade. Decisions! Decisions! I have a wedding in Savannah, Ga April 4th. Hoping to have resolved by then.
Take care ladies, thinking about you daily and wishing everyone well
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Cathie57= I have now dyed my hair twice. It is a sandy light brown. I really like the color. I used clairol. I had never done this before and it was super easy. May start always doing my hair. Will save me alot of money. Way too soon to even think about getting it cut. It is nice to have hair back. I do not feel as ugly.
Well, I now know I will be getting my blood drawn every week for god knows how long. Months to years!!! UGH!!! Then get the neupogen shot. Way better than neulasta. My counts have stayed the same SUPER LOW. At least they have not gotten any lower. I am really friendly with everyone at the MO office. I feel like one of the group on Mondays. My total weight loss from my fluid retention from taxotere is now 17 lbs. I can breath and wear my shoes again. No more black spandax everywhere I go. However, the chemopause is crazy. I never had a hot flash before chemo. Now they are constant during the day and night.
Hope everyone is moving on and living life again.!!!!
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Beautiful photo, NurseShark!
Finished rads today...hooray!
Skin behaved well during chemo, cleared up, no friendly whiskers. Now it is back to sort of normal.
Anyone had their survivorship appointment? Advice, suggestions for questions to ask are appreciated.
Thank you!
Jeni
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jeniferE= I had my survivorship appointment 3 weeks ago. I asked about vitamins,alcohol consumption,metformin,his personal opinion of what he thought my chances of a reaccurance were. I have TNBC so no follow up medications for me. I had a mammogram and was told to have one in 6 months. Only get 3 D mammo. As for vitamins, 2000 units of Vit D3,calcium 1200 units a day 600 twice with D and magnesium, no multi vitamins. Said total waste. I already exercise 5 days a week. Alcohol was fine in moderation. Thought I was going to do well. Will see me in 6 months. That was at my original MO in Baltimore. I live in Florida for the winter. I will see my MO here for years. He is also a hematologist and I have very crappy blood counts.
Good luck!!
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congrats jeniferE! Way to go. What does it feel like?
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Finished with Rads. Yay! My skin did not hold up over the last week. I am burnt and very crispy, my response to my RO like a hot dogg that has been in the grill too long (big smile). I have never had a sun burn so not sure what a very bad sun burn looks like. My underarm around my ALND incision scars and underneath the breast looks the worse. Skin is not only slothing off but has deep cracks in both areas that really hurt. I thought being African American I would fair better but apparently my skin burns easily. Go figure. I continue the routine of protecting the skin and have a follow-up scheduled at the end of March. RO did say call or come in if needed. Wow all done with treatment and start Tomixifen next week. Feels good but strange.
Also fighting a very bad sinus cold. So the cold, pain from Rads and bad sleep pattern I am praying for strength and endurance.
JeniferE, had my appt yesterday and asked similar question that Eileen asked. Supplements, chances of reoccurrence, alcohol consumption as I love my wine, she stressed exercise and eating, we discussed ovary removal vs. suppression vs. doing nothing -- at this time no suppression, follow-up apps and what will be done blood work scans, etc -- no scans unless there are symptoms. She will see me in 6 months. Mammo in June then yearly after that. Told me to call, send emails, etc with any concerns. Biggest thing she said stay off Dr. Goggle and call her or my PCP with any issues or concerns. My MO mentions Dr. Google almost every appt. - do I know she really dislikes the infamous Dr. Google. I let her know I only go to reputable sights. Lol
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How long was your "survivorship" appointment? Is it worth the time? My MO keeps bugging me about setting up an appointment to have his done and I have been dragging my feet in calling him back.
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Nomatterwhat= It was an hour long appointment. Thought it was worth going to. I also saw my BS for 10 minutes and the radiologist who read my mammo while I was there. The more people who want to do a breast exam at this point in my life is fine with me. Mammo every 6 months for 2 years. They do only left breast one of the times. See my BS for 2 years and my MO for 2 years. Not going to miss and appointment.
Also, I fly back to Baltimore for these appointments it was 80 degrees when I left Fl and 19 degrees when I landed in Baltimore
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hi all,
Feeling stronger after chemo's end...two weeks today. Packing up to go to Reno w grandma and two kids, leaving babies with dad (he has help) . How did you guys cope with waiting for surgery? I'm feeling very anxious, terrified actually, and so worried for the path results.
My moms friend has stage IV lung CA and she was starting to tell me about her, and I just burst into tears and told her I can't hear those stories now.
I did refill my Ativan RX. I'm so scared, especially since the unexpected and momentarily terrifying general anesthesia I had during the twin's birth. One baby wasn't doing well as I was put under and I'm still processing that immense fear. Right now it's linked with general anesthesia in my mind. They said I could take an Ativan the morning of. I also have my first appt w my RO the day before surgery, and a bit anxious about that
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Ativan is great for the pre surgery anxiety. Love, Jean
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