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Starting chemo August 2014

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Comments

  • Nomatterwhat
    Nomatterwhat Member Posts: 210
    edited March 2015

    Eileenpg and LadyB, thanks for the information.  I don't have to worry about mammos anymore, but you have given me several things to think about.

  • eileenpg
    eileenpg Member Posts: 431
    edited March 2015


    gotamol= I am with you giving you big hugs!!!

  • jenifere
    jenifere Member Posts: 94
    edited March 2015

    Thank you for the survivorship appointment advice, lovely ladies. I have been reading about 3D mammography, and hope that I can access this technology. My mammo in 2013 showed no cancer, then in 2014 mammo found 6.8 cm. I think I have cause to request 6 month mammon and/or the more sensitive 3D machine. Gatomal, it is great to be beyond rads, surgery and chemo, for sure! Herceptin every three weeks is a breeze. Awaiting the AI prescription, too. Will see how that goes. I do wish I loved to exercise! I'm doing it, but the joy has not com

  • ladyb1234
    ladyb1234 Member Posts: 1,239
    edited March 2015

    Gatomal, I was encouraged to take Ativan before surgery and it worked great to calm me.

    JeniferE, my appt lasted around 30 mins and I only meet with myMO. I meet with BS in May / June and RO at the end of March.

  • Catie57
    Catie57 Member Posts: 259
    edited March 2015

    JeniferE and LadyB - Congratulations on finishing rads!!!!!

  • CassieCat
    CassieCat Member Posts: 863
    edited March 2015

    gatomal I was quite nervous as surgery approached, and I took an Ativan that morning. It helped.

  • justamy
    justamy Member Posts: 296
    edited March 2015

    I was more nervous in the days before my surgery than the day of. I take Klonopin (like ativan)every day. I was ready to take an extra one but didn't need it. Surgery is scary but nothing compared to chemo. You got this. Huge hugs. Amy

  • CassieCat
    CassieCat Member Posts: 863
    edited March 2015

    Hi Amy! :) Nice to see you.

    I haven't heard any mentions yet of a survivorship meeting. Maybe I'll call the nurse navigator and see what she can tell me. I love the idea of sharing here what advice each of us receives.

  • ladyb1234
    ladyb1234 Member Posts: 1,239
    edited March 2015

    Cassiecat, my follow-up with MO was not called a survivorship meeting although I would have loved that. Adds a sense of caring after 9 long months of you know what. The center scheduled a follow-up appt with MO to go over questions, concerns and hormonal therapy. Again, mine was only 30 mins but would have loved the more thorough approach that Eileen described.

    I have a few other questions for the MO which I am emailing her today. I am not sure about her stance on NO ovary suppression right away? Not sure why and I want a better explanation. I am going to find a thread on bco that talks about ovary suppression (OS) and see if it is really different with each center on the approach with premenoposal women receiving ovary suppression -- meaning there is really no standard. Would love to hear from those on this thread to see who will receive OS and who will not.

    Editting to add: I am going for an acupuncture apt next week. Went for a massage last week. Can't wait as there re specific pains I want to target that are hold overs from chemo and the shoulder issue that occurred during RADs.

  • justamy
    justamy Member Posts: 296
    edited March 2015

    I am getting a shot every 3 months to put me into menopause. Then I am taking Aromisian for 5 years. She thought about tamoxifin for 10 years and no ovary suppression but said this has been shown to have a better outcome. So far I'm doing fine on my treatment.

  • Gatomal
    Gatomal Member Posts: 418
    edited March 2015

    thanks Jennifer, ladyb, Cassie, Amy...Ativan will be my friend then! I just had an acupuncture appt, feel tired, but more relaxed. I'll have another before surgery too. Can't wait for my survivorship appt. Or maybe I can! Depends on path report I guess. I am starting to understand why post-treatment life can be scarier and stressful and depressing. Still feeling tired and weak at times, it just hits like a wave. Naptime for me. Hugs all. Thanks for the kind words and thoughts

  • ladyb1234
    ladyb1234 Member Posts: 1,239
    edited March 2015

    Thanks JustAmy for the information. I am crafting a very detailed response to discuss options, etc. I just felt like for the Horomonal Therapy she said Taxomifen and that's it without even discussing or presenting me with other options or just discussing the pros/cons of each and outlining why she choose the treatment she did. Urggh.

    Gatomal, how are you doing? Are you still in Reno?

    JeniferE, I just noticed you are in my neck of the woods while reading the RADs boards. LoL. We will have to plan a get together with Gatomal and anyone else in our area before she goes to Reno for good.

    Beatmon, how are you doing?

    Hair, Hair, Hair -- I can see my eyebrows now, eyelashes growing, and hair on head is growing where the bald spot on time is even filling in. I will have to post a picture. Not so good I have mustache which I can really see.

    RADs -- still nursing the tender and raw areas. Went back to RO today and she said it will get worse before it gets better. I just say Norco here I come.

  • windgirl
    windgirl Member Posts: 208
    edited March 2015

    Gatomal, you delivered twins while going through chemo. You and nurseshark are some of the strongest women I know. Surgery will be a piece of cake compared to what you have gone through. I am glad you have found a little help for the anxiety. Take care

  • ladyb1234
    ladyb1234 Member Posts: 1,239
    edited March 2015

    Thanks JustAmy for the information. I am crafting a very detailed response to discuss options, etc. I just felt like for the Horomonal Therapy she said Taxomifen and that's it without even discussing or presenting me with other options or just discussing the pros/cons of each and outlining why she choose the treatment she did. Urggh.

    Gatomal, how are you doing? Thinking of you as you approach surgery. I am praying for your anxiety and know that you will do fine. You (and Nurseshark) are strong women going through this journey while being pregnant. My hat is off to both of you. Are you still in Reno?

    JeniferE, I just noticed you are in my neck of the woods while reading the RADs boards. LoL. We will have to plan a get together with Gatomal and anyone else in our area before sh moves to Reno.

    Beatmon, how are you doing?

    Bippy, your comment means a lot to me! Brought me to tears! You know I continue to pray for you and your book (big smile). I can't wait for it to get published.

    God Bless and TGIF,

    Angie

  • justamy
    justamy Member Posts: 296
    edited March 2015

    Im just whining, but I feel like my left foob is going to explode! I didn't even get fills ( only 50 cc at time my TEs were placed). My PS decided I didnt need expansion so he scheduled my exchange surgery for the 26th. My right foob is patiently waiting and looks like a half full zip lock bag. My right one is not behaving at all. I got a seroma under the TE and my foob has swollen to probably a DD size...maybe a D but it is so big and hard as a rock. I'm going to a family reunion tomorrow and I look very lopsided. It is so uncomfortable. I can't wait till Thursday... PS looked it over and said all is well for surgery as long as it doesn't turn red. So ready to get the implants!

  • ladyb1234
    ladyb1234 Member Posts: 1,239
    edited March 2015

    Hair, Hair, Hair -- I can see my eyebrows now, eyelashes growing, and hair on head is growing even the bald spot on top is filling in. I will have to post a picture. Not so good I have a mustache which I can really see.

    RADs -- still nursing the tender and raw areas. Went back to RO today and she said it will get worse before it gets better. I just say Norco here I come.

    I took a nutrtion class early this week that is offered at my center at it was pretty good. I have follow-up appts with the nutritionist as I want to combine holistic and complementary approaches with my Hormonal therapy. I want to ensure I get a good understanding of what supplements will work best form me, change in diet to understand foods for breast cancer, exercising, etc., etc. As I want to ensure I do as much as possible to reduce the likelihood of reoccurrence and just live a more healthy and balanced life style without torturing myself.

    For those that would like to keep in touch after our treatment. Not sure how best to go about it? Opening up a new thread, some use FB personal accounts or open up private group on FB. Let me know if anyone is interested in keeping in touch long term. And we can discuss how best to stay in touch. You girls are my peeps and a friendship I don't want to end (big smile). I can see the pattern which we all knew would come. We are posting less and less and trying to get back to normalcy as we reach the end of our treatment.

    God Bless and TGIF!

    Angie

  • ladyb1234
    ladyb1234 Member Posts: 1,239
    edited March 2015

    Wizard50, you have crossed my mind many times over the last week. If you check the boards I just want to say Hi and hope that you are recovering well and settling into your new normal. I miss ya since we started out early together. What was your decision with RADs? How did your exchange surgery go I believe in January, correct? Hope all is well with you.

    Shirley, been thinking about you also. I remember your last post indicated this journey was hitting you hard. Praying for you and hope that you are beyond SEs. Check in with us if you are still reading this thread.

    Mullerin, SandyLovesLucy, Randomchance, Terri1975, DonnaNJ, Oceanbreeze, purrrrana99, Jess1965, Hope50 and others that may not naed specifically that have not posted on this thread for a while. Thinking of each of you often when I re-read the names of those that started this journey with us I think and pray for each of you.

    Hugs Always,

    Angie

  • Gatomal
    Gatomal Member Posts: 418
    edited March 2015

    angie, wind girl..thanks for the support. I just drove 3.5 hrs and have been up since 6am...ready to turn in early. So nice to be back at the house. Last time I was here I wasn't sure if I would get to hold those two babies, but their cribs are set up ready to hold them when we come back as a family. I'm with grandma and the girls this weekend. Poor dad is with the boys, and they are both crying at the same time. Welcome to my world! I'm up for any way that works to keep in touch from time to time, even if it is this thread...

    Just Amy. Hugs to you. It sounds painful, but I'm sure you'll be fine next week. Your family should just be applauding for you coming to the reunion at all considering what you've been through. HERO!

    Good weekend all! This thread is my homebase!

  • Catie57
    Catie57 Member Posts: 259
    edited March 2015

    Gatamol - Keeping you in my thoughts during this time before surgery. You really have been thru a lot. I know we were all so happy when you and NurseShark delivered those healthy beautiful babies. You are getting close to the end of this journey. Just another step.

    NurseShark - Love the pic of you guys. Beautiful!

    Justamy - Good luck on Thursday. Tell them to get it right this time. Lol You have been so strong and awesome.

    LadyB - Hoping you skin heals up soon. It really didn't get worse for me after completing rads, so just keep up lotions and petroleum strips. So glad you are coming to an end of this journey. It is very emotional. I feel a need to cry more lately. Although haven't actually done so.

    My DH is looking at open heart surgery in next couple of months. I pray I can find the strength to go thru this new journey. I found the love and support thru my own journey. I am struggling with my inner self to muster up strength for this now. Can't break down, Barely took a breathe that this journey was finally over. I have been feeling really good physically lately. I know I'm not 100% but definitely on the right road

    Wishing everyone strength and courage, and a good weekend. Yes, let's keep in touch somehow

  • eileenpg
    eileenpg Member Posts: 431
    edited March 2015


    I would love to keep in touch with everyone. I will be on a LONG journey with my MO. I see him every Monday  to get my blood drawn.(He is also a hematologist.)  Then get neupogen shot. Hopefully,my WBC counts will come up. He told me I am looking at years. UGH Chemo the gift that keeps on giving.

  • Bippy625
    Bippy625 Member Posts: 602
    edited March 2015

    hi all!

    I have not posted for awhile, but read alot. Gatomal, you got surgery. I agree on ativan. Surgery was nothing compared to chemo, and you will sail through cuz you are a badass mama! Kisses to the babies from Auntie Bippy. Ditto for Baby Levi, Nureshark. Ps Loved your pic!

    Amy, ouch. At least you have exchange soon. i still dunno if I am doing TEs and implants vs. flap.

    It feels very odd, and this probably sounds stupid, but part of me doesn't know what to do with myself without all these friggin doctors appointments. My hair is from back to the point where it looks purposeful. When I'm out in public with my foobs you would never know. I have now only herceptin through July. Trust me, I am not complaining but… Anyone else feel the same?

    Meanwhile we have had some major life changes in other ways. My father-in-law passed away recently. Kind, generous, salt of the earth person. I really am missing him. Part of the estate has started to come in. It is a life-changing amount. I'm only telling you this because I want to express my comfort at knowing my husband will be okay financially, no matter what the future holds for me. that used to keep me up at night, fearing his wellbeing if a recurrence comes. And, now I can take a lower paying, less stressful job as Our nest egg is set. Also, we are married 25 years next month!!!! Am planning a surprise cruise for us. I am so overcome with gratitude it is hard to think of it without crying.

    Everyone, Iheard from Shirley aka Pangtidor and she is ok, just been difficult time for her. Think a positive prayer or thought for her and all our other gals that are not posting as of late. If you ladies are reading, we miss you and think of you often.

  • CassieCat
    CassieCat Member Posts: 863
    edited March 2015

    I would love to keep in touch too.

    I just remembered that a friend of mine made arrangements for me to have a massage just before surgery (the day before) with a therapist with cancer training. I am sure that helped me enter surgery with a better mental outlook.

    Eileen, I hope your marrow bounces back and you won't have to constantly wonder and worry over your white counts.

    Catie, I can't imagine how stressful it must be, worrying about your husband and what he's going to go through. You will find the strength that you need. Another reason why I want our group to hang in there - we can help buoy you on your low days.

    Amy, good luck with surgery - 5 more days!

    I started peeling yesterday and am so glad my RO gave my arm pit a break. I think by Monday it'll be OK to start with regular rads again. I want to be done but don't want to suffer. ;) I think my hair growth is slow, but it's coming in thick. My friend who was being treated for ovarian cancer, about my same age, finished chemo (different regimen) 3 weeks ahead of me. Her hair is so much longer already. There's no way mine will be as long as hers in three weeks. She's got curls in the back, but not on top or in the front. It's cute, really. :) I mentioned on another thread that I think I've lost muscle mass, as I'm trying to put on weight but struggling. Even when I eat more, and include some desserts, my weight still hovers right around the same mark. I'm going to look into the Livestrong program at the YMCA this summer, if they offer a summer session. My BS and his staff are going to help me enroll in it. That'll be good in another way too - DD will be gone for 5 weeks and I will be l-o-n-e-l-y again, hanging out at home all day. I'm hoping to get back to volunteering with the animal shelter that I used to help, before all this started. I helped with their off-site kitten adoptions on weekends. Could there be abetter volunteer gig? :) Maybe this summer though I'll go out to their facility and help in other ways, during the week, once school's out. Speaking of school, I am going to resume my full job next fall, after much thought and consideration. It wasn't an easy decision, but it feels like the right one for this coming year.

    OK, enough this morning. I had a lot to say! I definitely want to stay connected to you ladies, however we decide to do it.

  • eileenpg
    eileenpg Member Posts: 431
    edited March 2015


    I am going to start volunteering this Wednesday at the chemo room at the local hospital. I did not get chemo there. They only take volunteers that have had cancer.The radiation center referred me. They said the patient's love having someone that has gone through chemo themselves. . I think we offer drinks,blankets,etc. Were I went they did not have a volunteer nor offer anything.

    Good luck to all

    Cathie 57:hoping you hubby is ok.

    Bippy=Sorry for your loss.

    Cassiecat= Love the idea with the kittens. Too much fun!!

     

  • CassieCat
    CassieCat Member Posts: 863
    edited March 2015

    Eileen, that sounds great. Let us know how it goes.

  • jenifere
    jenifere Member Posts: 94
    edited March 2015

    God to hear from our Bippy! So sorry for your loss. I too feel a bit less secure, if you will, with less doctor appointments. My surgeon is retiring next week, saw him for the last time this week. I am really sad and will miss him! Herceptin every three weeks will help me wean myself from the comfort of appointments. Our program here offers a six week survivorship support group. I may try that to see if it is a good fit. Will see MO and the "survivorship nurse" Tuesday. Thanks all for sharing your experiences. I too wil continue to stay connected with this group. You all have been my invaluable, amazing, go to support group. THE BEST!

  • NurseShark
    NurseShark Member Posts: 86
    edited March 2015

    RO appointment today. PS gave okay to start at anytime now. I think plan is as soon as March 30th.

    .feeling like there is almost an "end" in sight.survivor ship (although not called that at my oncologist) this Friday. Don't see breast surgeon until next yearand plastic surgeon in 3 more month! Scared about treatment coming to end ...don't get me wrong I am glad to not have hormonal therapy for 5-10years like some of you brave ladies but triple negative makes me feel like I have no security blanket....not even getting mammogram s or breast mri s because of surgery I had..so I just cross my fingers?????so...I just go back to life as normal????

    Friday I have pelvic ultrasound and ca-123 blood work to check ovaries/get a baseline...

  • CassieCat
    CassieCat Member Posts: 863
    edited March 2015

    I have an appt. this week to follow up on my fibroids. I was told in August that my uterus was a "3-month pregnancy" size and we were going to watch and see what happened. Then breast cancer happened. I had fibroids when I got pregnant and it grew like crazy - 5 pounds when I could finally have it removed. It was insane and is why my daughter was born at 31 weeks. Anyway, I don't want to go through that again, obviously. :) Have some worries about tamoxifen, so I'm hoping to have a conversation about that this week at my ob-gyn's office, to complement the convo I'll have about it with my MO.

    Do you gals ever have "ugly" days? Today, I just feel ugly. My hair is too short to style, my fingernails are gross, I am flat-chested on one side, I'm looking scrawny...the list goes on and on. Why is it that some days I can feel so strong and capable and then other days I feel like this? I bought some new tanks and bras today - soft, stretchy ones - and a new pair of pretty PJ's. Maybe that will help. Bought some pretty things for my DD too - probably overcompensating for my own feelings of inadequacy today.

    This too shall pass...

    8 more treatment days for rads, and Herceptin again this Friday. Finally getting back to the dentist as well - I'm about 3 months overdue, I think. Damn cancer.

    I think lately I've had more people giving me a bit of the "you should be grateful for..." or "yes, it sucks but it could be worse..." and seem to be ready for me to be over everything by now. I'm finding I have fewer and fewer people I can be honest with. I'm trusting that I can still vent here, that you will all still get it. I am very aware of the relativity of things, and at the same time I think it's OK to wish I had two boobs, pretty hair and fingernails that didn't hurt.

  • Bippy625
    Bippy625 Member Posts: 602
    edited March 2015

    http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/03/16/lost-in-t...;smtyp=cur&bicmp=AD&bicmlukp=WT.mc_id&am

    If the link does not work go to hermit club, last posts page, excellent article for us. About exactly where we are now, why it feels as it does.

    I am totally in ptsd, all the adrenaline and hardness gone. I am soft, fragile. Sad, wondering WTF just happened.


  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Member Posts: 617
    edited March 2015

    Bippy, so sorry you are feeling so sad and down. Try to remember all you have accomplished now...cheated the cancer from taking over. You have been through so much and came out on top.

    I have CAT tomorrow....see how my lungs look. Dr. Appt. and herceptin and perjeta on Thursday. No taxotere since first of the year.

    Son has been here for a few days...wonderful time.

  • Gatomal
    Gatomal Member Posts: 418
    edited March 2015

    yes Cassie, Bippy! I was in Reno this weekend, without Internet, hence the disappearing act, but I have giant mirrors in the bathroom there. In SF I can't see myself naked at all, but woah! Got a good look. I also got sick with a cold. So my neck was swollen, my skin was blotchy and dry, my boobs, saggy ( feeling a little less scared about surgery next week because of the way they look) and checking out my 43 y.o. Two twin pregnancy stomach. We are constantly hit with these images of female perfection and sexuality, and it's really depressing that even after fighting for your life, at the end of active treatment, sometimes you don't feel like a brave hero, just damaged and sad. You both are further down the road than I am, regarding tx, so I'm still in adrenaline/hard mode...but yes, I'm feeling out of shape, sickly and ugly some days. It's a long way back

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