Starting chemo August 2014
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Hi all! I'm just leaving my mom's after a great dinner with family. I ate and could be taste for the most part. My taste buds are a little muted but no complaints. Headed off to FIL's now to spend a few days. Getting my family visits in because my last chemo is Dec 26, so I won't have time to visit everyone for long at Christmas. I can't believe we are all so close to the end of the chemo stuff....surgery for me after but still glad to have this part almost behind me. Rest up and have a great rest of the day everyone!
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woke up starving, not a surprise since I have had little food in last 7days. Had some tortellini and it was pretty good tasting. Since I am up, going to continue taking immodium round the clock to stop the neverending Big D. It is getting very old. Pounded water last few days to keep out of hospital. I do not want this to ruin my surgery date!
Today I will hang out again home, to avoid crowds and disease, thanks to my low wbc. Hope that goes up soon! Slept and feel okay, but no zip. Goin back to bed in a little while for more zzzzz. My poor, abraded, mistreated GI tract. I know you can relate......
I guess my labs will go on for another few weeks PFC and also, I know I will need Counts before BS allows surgery. I hate it and wish it was done. Never been fond of needles. At least I have a blessed week free of any appts before next labs. I suppose I can do it.
Well, see you tomorrow, Tee tee nigh night
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Me again. Things are on the mend! For the first time PFC, I went to the restroom in a normal gait, vs. skidding down the hall (in more ways than one), and barely making it. I feel just like my fair lady! Coffee smells and tastes completely normal today. Got loads of rem sleep, which is connected to healing. Just knowing that there is no more chemo.....priceless. What will you all do for fun, now that my tales of toilet drama are going to end? How can you go on, without my endless saga of the nausea that would not die?
Not to mention all my assorted smell and food aversions, in all their awe-inspiring horror. Can you believe it? Your lives are going to be diminished without all this fascinatination!
Haha really though, to feel normal is unbelievable. And I still am nowhere near true well....just this hint of feelin good has me soaring. I feel, for the first time since this chit began, that I will be okay. Maybe not perfect and certainly changed but...i feel like I can really survive it and actually come out with lots of years ahead of me. I feel as if nothing can be worse than chemo. It is the sickest I have ever been, and never have I felt worse, in mind, body and spirit. I had to not think about it, during, just to complete it. I did downplay the horror to friends and fam, to spare them. Now I can be honest, and have shared it with some.
So for my ladies going on the last round.....you will be okay but the last may be rough. All you can do is endure. But know that about 8 days PFC, it gets better, finally. Just remember your prior normal life and know, it is comin back! I promise.
PS...i cannot wait to begin my detox diet, before surgery in about 2 weeks! Green tea, veggies, organic everything! Buh buh chemo, and suck it, cancer
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yay bippy, so happy for you!!!
Justamy, sounds like you had a nice day. :
I had a downturn yesterday during dinner. But I'm feeling better this morning and hoping that it's behind me now. This is day 8 after chemo 5. 17 days to go until that last one...
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Hi Ladies,
Bipsy - I'm so glad you had a turn around. Enough is enough! I think with the plan on eating healthy and getting your body back, we will all be fine. Again, this last chemo I took extra drugs, which totally made a difference on how I've been feeling. I strongly recommend everyone going for last chemo treatment to talk to MO. Extra fluids right after treatment so no chance of dehydration. A couple of extra days on steroids to get thru worse usual days. Probiotic everyday for stomach. Suck on ice during chemo treatment. Omg so much better this time. Besides the peeing accident in middle of night and red face on occasion.
I am done with Chemo, but know my body has to recoup now. Ate well at sisters last night and enjoyed. Not drinking yet, body just not ready. I was the person with my glass of wine or even a Cosmo on occasion with dinner. After putting all this poison in my body, will be kind to myself a little longer. Lol
I can not tell you how humbling an experience this has been for me. I am pretty strong minded and push thru.
I have had to let people do for me and omg they all did too. Just amazing to see how people close to you are so supportive, when I am always using the expression " I hate people". I really never give anyone a break, and they totally proved me wrong. I am loved and blessed. Unfortunately now that I'm on the mend, my husband is falling apart. Funny how some men don't handle the thought of being ill that well. He has himself in a state just thinking of what might be. I have him scheduled for all kinds of Dr appts. I need him to be healthy now with me. I want to retire someday with him right beside me.
We are and have been thru something I wouldn't wish on anyone. It is and emotional and physical roller coaster of a ride. We get to really see what we are made of. We get to see who really matters in our lives and how short life really is. I want to say that if I've gotten anything good out of this (besides your support) is to appreciate people and life more.
Kicking cancers butt! Hang in there ladies and enjoy your family, friends and wknd.
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catie, cassie, everyone, how are you today?
We are off to get christmas tree and trimmings, lunch and maybe some yard sales. Today is a banner day for me...normal bm for the first time since i do not remember when. I promise never to mention it again, but.....GI health is wealth!
Eileen, how are your tasters doing?
Wish you all a SE free day
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It's so great to hear those of you who are done are actually seeing some healing and improvements already! Very encouraging. I feel like I should be done, but I still have one more to go, which means one more round of SEs to get through. I had very bad C which turned to D on Thanksgiving afternoon/evening, but yesterday was better and I'm hoping I'm past all that now. Food still tastes blah, and I feel like I get very full very quickly now. I'm so over all of this already! I want to be done. We're visiting my aunt and my 91-year-old grandpa today. That'll be nice, although it brings up family stress as there's a rift in my family between one person and everyone else. Makes me sad.
Anyway, I'm really, really happy to read about people moving past that final chemo and starting to feel better. I will be there soon! Last chemo is two weeks from Monday...
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Cassie I still have 2 more to go so I know where you are coming from. I love seeing people being done but I sure wish I was there too! My last one is not until December 26. We will get there soon and it is so encouraging to see people done and healing!
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Bippy= I ate gerkins pickles tonight and could have a glass of wine with my BF. We thought we were back to our normal selves. THANK YOU!!
I have last chemo round on Monday and I am dreading it. I just want to feel better and be DONE with this. Thanksgiving was really nice. Only could eat turkey and mashed potatoes. Everything else tasted like metals. My family was super nice and SO HAPPY to see me. It was so wonderful to see my son. I cried like an idiot at the airport when I said Goodbye. He was so SWEET to me.
I love that we are ending this journey yet, I am so sad to part with my chemo pals. I hope we can stay together in our post cancer world just to keep in touch. I am forever grateful to you all. Again,you all helped me through this horrible time in my life.
My email is eileenpg@verizon.net if staying in touch is a good idea for you.
Love you all,
Eileen P. Grossfeld
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I have a ct scan on Wed. And onc will decide if I will have # 6 or just switch to herceptin and perjeta. Sounds crazy but I almost hate to not do #6. It makes me nervous there are still nasty cancer cells floating around in my blood stream just waiting to land in my liver, brain or bones. You might remember the lung mets were found accidentally looking at a cellulitis.....2 years postop BM. Makes me wonder if they were there all along...I never had a body scan of any kind. I'm so glad that many of you will be done with this nasty stuff for good. It would be great to feel normal for Christmas, if we can remember what that feels like. Love to all.
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Beatmom= I had a pet scan last week. All clear for me. At then end of your scan ask the tech how it looked he/she may tell you. Mine did. Otherwise, I would still be waiting for results I see my MO on Monday. The waiting I think is the hardest part. You could also ask your MO about going another round. I am doing my 6th on Monday Cytoxan and Taxotere and I had 0 lymph node involvement and no mets. Both MO's I went to told me to try and go 6th rounds. Be proactive!!!
Did you have chemo in 2012?
Good luck. I will keep you in my prayers.
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cassiecat & amy, you will get here soon! I am nowhere near normal yet but that awful, awful feeling of having been sprayed in the face with a can of Raid is finally gone. Every day I feel a little better. I just went to the restroom like a normal human being--nearly burst into tears! my inclination is to try to do too much, so I just gave in and rested when needed. Being out of the house was like heaven--i felt like a fugitive.
I was remembering at the beginning, my onco was all chipper about chemo, oh, you can WORK thru it! Oh, dont become a sick person! Yeah, I get it now. If I had known the truth I may have weasled out of it. No way could I have worked thru this. I want to kinda give her a dose of when I am feeling bitter
Eileen, i am thrilled the little pickles worked! I hope they will help during your LAST round! Best wishes for tomorrow lady. I will be here forever, got a year or two of herceptin, reconstruction, to get thru.
Beatmom, I am amazed by you and your spirit. i fear progression worse than anything, but for all I know it could already be, i have not had a pet scan. I am just hoping for the best.....for all of us. As for your last chemo, i hear you -- i was going to not do mine until my DH made it clear to me he wants me to have every chance and that the SEs, though horrible, did not rise to the level of medically undoable for me. Also, some wonderful ladies here convinced me to continue. I posted a question about it, somewhere, so you can read those responses and maybe the will help you too. It is called, did anyone stop chemo.... I think it is under the main chemo thread. Even though it was the worst one, i am now glad I did it too. Best wishes, whatever you choose.
My tree is up!!! How lovely the house smells and how uplifting it is. I am planning my detox eating, began eating FRESH food. Going to slowly incorporate more each day so I do not overload my poor, poor liver with a gush of sludge. The taste of oranges and apples....like I had never eaten them before. Life feels wonderful even now! Gearin up for surgery, cannot wait to move forward.
So, today we are getting out again, need nice fresh food (yipee!) and surgery list items. You will all get here and just will not believe it when you do. No matter how horrible it gets, know that there really is an end! Please do all your tx, if you can. Do not give up. You will feel good again. Once it happens, and you feel like your old self....nothing can stop you. I am doubly determined now and actually have strength to follow thru. And you all know how awful it was for me, because you were right here. If I can,you can!
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Eileen and everyone, I hope we can all keep posting here, too as we move through other treatments, follow up scans, etc. I will be posting on surgery and radiation boards, and I have a year of Herceptin, and then tamox too, so I've got plenty to come post about!
Beatmon, as much as I say I don't want to do #6, I think deep down I do. I won't have another scan done until after #6, and I'm hoping for the all clear after that.
justamy, I'll be around to cheer you on to the finish line.
Bippy, you can hear how much better you feel in your writing. It is so great!!! I've been looking at new recipes and thinking about what to eat and all after getting through the worst of chemo. We were pretty good to begin with, but there's still lots of room for improvement. I bought a subscription to a meal planning and recipe organizing site called Plan to Eat that seems really functional and easy to use. I want to help set a better example for my daughter through these last few teens years that she's home with us. One thing I have decided to avoid until I know more about it is soy protein isolate (found in veggie meat alternatives, protein bars, etc.). I've read mixed things about soy in general but this really stands out to me as something that might not be great for us to be eating.
We're talking about having a New Year's Eve open house/end of chemo party, to ring in a healthy new year. It'll be 16 days PFC, and I think I'll be ready for it!
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Cassie and others who are ER+, my chemo doc when is clinical director of chemo at Sloan Kettering, said NO SOY! Love, Jean
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Beamon, I am so happy to hear from you and see your post and updates! I think of you often and hope you saw my shout out a few days ago.
Praying that your CT scan goes well and that the lung nodules have disappeared! DId you have chemo in 2012? or were you in the gray area? I am with you on going for the full ttreatments and go for #6.
Hugs always,
-Angie
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checking in to see how everyone is doing. This week, I will be shelf way done with my rads. Last one will be on Christmas Eve! What a great gift to be done with that!! I begin Arimidex this week. Not looking forward to that but will see how it goes. Have to go in Thursday for stomach tests since some stuff showed up earlier on my CT scan.
I hope you all gad a nice thanksgiving . I check here often and think about each of you ladies. I would not have MADD it through chemo without you. I'm so grateful. I've on to the next part of thud journey , but you guys will be with he forever. I'm on the rads board also, but this is home!
Have a good week and keep plugging away ladies!!
Blessings to each of you!
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i have a dumb question for you guys from other parts of the country. I have lived my whole life in Arizona. I was sitting out on my front yard swing mid day to soak up some Sun I got to wondering if it feels the same in humid places. People always bring up the analogy of opening an oven door to describe our summer heat, and that's fairly accurate. So wherever you guys are from, does laying in the sun feel like this?
Warm, dry, kind of like freshly ironed clothes. your skin gets tight, you can feel the moisture leaving your body but it feels like something good is soaking in.
I have use exposure to the Sun to clear up infected scrapes. The Sun just dries it up and then it scabs over and heals. Does that work in places with less Sun?
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hi randomchance,
I live in miami so plenty of sun here but our summers feel very humid, almost like there is no air in the air when it's not breezy, and you can sweat seriously walking outside a couple of blocks. Right now it is perfect. I have never been in Arizona but visited Nevada in the summer and it felt like the hair dryer was on when I got outside.
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Randomchance= Lived my whole life in Baltimore,MD up until 2 years ago. Now Florida in winter and PA for the summer. Been to Tucson several times and LOVED it. Baltimore is super humid in the summer. Pizza oven and really cold in the winter. Lots of days with no sun. Never tried the sun for scrapes. Some times it felt gray for days upon days. very depressing. Do not miss it there. Only miss my beloved RAVENS.
Last chemo tomorrow. Finally have 75% normal taste buds. Oh well, that won't last long. Back to feel crummy
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randomn, it is hideously humid here and brutally hot 6 months out of the year. Humid is like trying to suck air thru a wet blanket. It is like you could wring water right out of the air. Sticky, sweaty, nasty. The water is not cool, either, it is hot. You never cool off because your sweat cannot evaporate. And then there is the soul crushing heat along with it.
Yeah, I hate the heat and need to move. I have much less tolerance for it now and have gone way over my lifetime limit for sunburns and exposure....so, very different from Az. Ha! BC instead of melanoma, I never would have thought.
. Come here in late August and you will see though, what I mean. Well, good luck to tomorrow Eileen, will be thinkin of you. Workin in my surgey check offs, going to ask doc for an rx for a bra or cami with drains...
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hi gals, how are you all doing?
More good news, my hair is really comin in. It actually started after tx 4. Now, it is really comin in fast. cassie, I too have very thick, nice hair. I hope it returns the same.
Today I am askin my BS for an rx for surgery cami and workin on my checklist. So much to do! It is weird to look forward to surgery but I am ready to defeat this chit and it is a crucial part. I really let my Ebay store stock dwindle and need to restock. Also, my DH is 51 today!!!! I am makin him his favorite cake and we had a lovely dinner last night.
Every minute PFC is better and better. I feel like my old self, and I can tell because my DH was annoying me. ha! That is a good sign
, i.e., the beotch is back0 -
LAST DAY IN CHAIR for chemo.My MO said I look fabulous and did fabulous.He is using the word "cure for me". We talked about the chance it would come back for triple negatives. He told me not to worry.He is not for me .WOW Great news. I hope God was listening.
I'm going to chew on ice during my chemo infusion. May help with taste buds.
I gave a goodbye cake and really got dressed up.
Thank you all for being there. I know I write that lot. Can't help it.
Best to all
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Woo hoo Eileen!!! Last one! SO happy for you.
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Congratulations, Eileen! That is so great!
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Eileen, that's amazing news to hear. I can't imagine! So glad chemo is over for you.
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yayyyy Eileen! Go eat some pickles and drank some wine
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savoring the last few days before restarting chemo. Taxol Every 2weeks starting friday this time off has been awesome.getting nervous to leave my little one for whole day but grandparents are in town to babysit. Fingers crossed side effects not to bad.. I don't wanna miss anytime with baby bc feeling sick. I
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All the best to you, NurseShark. Prayers for health and quick return to baby!
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Nurseshark=Wishing you the best!!!!!!
Bibby=Had pickles and went out to dinner.Had a nice time until my fatigue and stomach issues started up. First time out to dinner for 2 hours in 4 months. Feel like I'm 80 yeas old.
Thanks for all the great feedback.
At chemo a first timer on the same chemo as me. She had a port. I never needed one. I told her about this board and wrote a list of tips. I wish someone had of done that me. It felt great helping someone starting this journey.
Waiting for SE to kick in. Took my aleve,claritin,and senna s tonight. I am READY!!!!! Going for simulation for rads on Thursday. Instructed my BF even if I'm comatose to pick me up and dump me there. Just lay me on the table. I can fake the rest. He told me no problem. Great BF
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Dear all,
I've been reading your posts and feeling encouraged because I am a late October starter and even though I have 4 rounds of c/t total, it seems endless. So nice to hear that some of you are graduating from chemo and starting to feel really good again. I feel like I'm cheating and reading the end of the book first, but it helps and I wish you all well.
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