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Everything No One Tells You About Cancer and Your Sex Life

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  • Jujube2
    Jujube2 Member Posts: 6
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    hi gardengypsy,

    No it isn't covered by insurance ! It should be!!! It was worth the 1500$ I paid!!

    It really makes things more normal.

    I'm really happy I did it

  • gardengypsy
    gardengypsy Member Posts: 499
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    Jujube2

    If it was a men's sexual issue, it would be covered by insurance.

    Thanks for the input. I may have some more questions after I meet with my gyn

  • ABeautifulSunset
    ABeautifulSunset Member Posts: 600
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    I'm meeting with a doctor and possibly having first Mona Lisa treatment in mid July. I miss good sex soooo much I can't stand it! I hope it helps some.


  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 4,522
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    just finding this thread. My DH sent me a link on the MonaLisa procedure. Please share your experiences, thought etc. Did it irk as well as they claim? I'm interested in it from everything I read on its website but want to hear feedback that's not on the website. TIA, Karen

  • trvler
    trvler Member Posts: 931
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    There is a whole thread on it. Will get it for you.

  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 4,522
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    Thanks Trvler. I think I also posted there. Trying to get as much feedback as I can

  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 4,522
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    Any try the cream "Intivar"? Thoughts? Would appreciate any feedback. TI

  • luckylegs64
    luckylegs64 Member Posts: 7
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    Hi All, I just completed the 3rd and last of my Thermiva treatments. I can go on record as saying it has helped signicantly. I can't exactly throw away the lubricant, but it has definitely helped! I'm a happy customer :-) Thermiva is radio frequency heat vs laser and supposedly "gentler". There is zero bleeding or downtime.

  • cuddyclothes
    cuddyclothes Member Posts: 98
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    Hi, all -

    I've been very lazy about using the Premarin. Not nearly as much as I should. However, I have been using the Replens, and the dildo once or twice. Last weekend, for the first time since I got diagnosed with cancer in 2015, we had penetrative sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It hurt just a little at first. We use Crisco as a lubricant (recommended by my PCP) although I had good luck with canola oil with the smaller dildo. I probably had 20 orgasms. We both felt wonderful afterwards.

    SillyHeart



  • trvler
    trvler Member Posts: 931
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    AWESOME, Cuddy!!!

  • cuddyclothes
    cuddyclothes Member Posts: 98
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    Thank you, Trvler!

  • jwoo
    jwoo Member Posts: 931
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    So, I wish I'd have known so many things sooner. Especially that after DIEP, the muscle contractions caused by my O would cause me such insane pain in my abdomen. I never noticed how much of my ab muscles were involved. I'm 9 weeks out. Hopefully this will abate. But I'm not holding my breath.

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 2,845
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    Bwa! She's baaaaa-aaaack! (Meaning you, Cuddy)

  • corky60
    corky60 Member Posts: 453
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    I spent a year on hormonals between Aromasin and Tamoxifen. Since I had a complete hysterectomy decades before BC I am very deficient in estrogen. My oncologist refused to consider any vaginal estrogen for me. After three years she said ok to a reduced dose of Vagifem. It did nothing. My gyn has now okayed trying Premarin cream because the vaginal atrophy is so bad. The pain is debilitating, not to mention the frequent UTIs. I hope this works because I am at my wit's end. My oncologist doesn't know yet that I've switched. My primary care dr. is in favor of Premarin too. I didn't need chemo but now find myself often doubled over in pain from the atrophy. My primary care dr. says that it is chronic.

    KB 870 I wish you luck in your journey. Being at peace with your decisions is what counts.

  • logang
    logang Member Posts: 144
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    My GYN just recommended Luvena. Has anyone tried it? It is hormone free.

  • renzkay55
    renzkay55 Member Posts: 2
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    Hi, I am kind of new, but read with interest your stories because I too have experienced what you have been posting. However, I remember a doctor who specialized in Gynecologic cancer telling me that there is a way to make yourself better than "new" down under and it is called Ablation Therapy

    Kat

  • kareenie
    kareenie Member Posts: 97
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  • Suz-Q
    Suz-Q Member Posts: 110
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    I tried Luvena, it's very runny and messy. For those reasons I quit using it. I can't say if it improved anything because I stopped too soon to tell. I have been using a product available in Canada called Gynatrof and I like it well enough to keep using it.

  • cuddyclothes
    cuddyclothes Member Posts: 98
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    Sex has continued to be a problem. Part of it is my fault, because I don't always use the premarin. It's messy and drools out. Replens itself doesn't do the job. Confession: a friend stopped using vagifem, which is what my doctor originally wanted to use (but it is not covered by my insurance). She gave me her two boxes, which I started using recently. I haven't told my doctor, but I will. I know NO ONE would recommend this but I'm desperate.

    This is not a partial solution I would recommend to ANYONE ELSE but my ob-gyn said it was okay for now. In desperation once I put Aspercream with lidocaine inside myself (experimenting with a dildo). I used it twice now, and it really helps!

    We've managed to have penetrative sex, and it feels like the ends justify the means.

  • trvler
    trvler Member Posts: 931
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    Are you saying no vagifem because it has estrogen? I am not the familiar with it. Is it topical? Topical estrogen is ok according to the latest data.

  • cuddyclothes
    cuddyclothes Member Posts: 98
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    No, I mean I'm using someone else's prescription. Vagifem isn't on my insurance, so the cost was prohibitive. My oncologist would prefer I use Vagifem rather than Premarin, but the difference isn't so big that it's important.

    The lidocaine really helps! We've resumed regular sex, thank God.

  • ljcc
    ljcc Member Posts: 1
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    I had vaginal dryness and bleeding because of the dryness. Also penetration was quite painful. I tried replens plus astroglide and it did help a little. I was taking Letrozole at the time and had other side effects as well. I really felt like an old woman aching joints, tiredness, weight gain, foggy brain, etc. My oncologist switched me to tamoxifen and within a few weeks I felt like my old self again. I even lost weight!

    My husband and I both cried as we thought we could never be intimate again. I still have problems with UTI's but usually when I pee after having sex and wash myself right away I can avoid them.


  • logang
    logang Member Posts: 144
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    I have been getting along pretty well with twice daily coconut oil. When we get intimate, adding in a lubricant works for us. Before the coconut oil, sex was very painful. Now, if only I can fix my sex drive....

    Loopy

  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 4,522
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    Sex!! What's that!!

  • Beatmon
    Beatmon Member Posts: 617
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    No one told me no oral sex during chemo....I guess he figured at 62 I wasn't engaging. Ha

  • logang
    logang Member Posts: 144
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    Beatmom....that is hilarious!

    Loopy

  • KacieKay
    KacieKay Member Posts: 1
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    My husband and I had not had a really active sex life before cancer and NONE since...until about two weeks ago when we tried.  OMG!  What pain!  I thought it was just from not doing it regular but he used to work away from home for weeks and months at a time and this has never happened before.  He even bought me a "medical device" to use when he was away and I can't use it either.  I started some research and actually have a Gyno appt today to see what's up.  Yes, I'm almost 60 (in two weeks) thank God, and was in menopause before the cancer diagnosis last year but to completely close up shop???  Is that supposed to happen?

    Your booklet is helpful and I will speak to my Gyno about suggestions today.  We may not start increasing how often we have sex but we at least want to return to a fairly regular schedule.  We're getting older but we aren't dead!  I have a deformed breast where the lumpectomy took place and may need more surgery to fix it later but that doesn't keep us from intimacy.  I don't like it but I'm glad to be alive so that's the tradeoff.  I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.  I didn't get the drug y'all are talking about below but had two chemo drugs and two treatment drugs, one I'm still taking.  None of THIS is listed in the side effects either.  So is this cancer related or menopause related?  I guess we'll see what the doctor says.  Thanks for bringing up this subject.  I wish I knew about this site while I was going through treatments.  It could've really helped.

  • gardengypsy
    gardengypsy Member Posts: 499
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    Welcome, KacieKay! I encourage you to go back and start reading all the old posts. They are so helpful.


  • Frill
    Frill Member Posts: 104
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    I had weekly Taxol and no one told me anything about oral sex. My bf seems fine. What ruined me was FAC. Until then everything was business as usual. I'm trying not to give up, but 6 months without an orgasm is pretty depressing. I still try by myself, and luckily the extreme PAIN seems to be getting better, but no O's. It completely sucks. I've begged for an E-string.

  • trvler
    trvler Member Posts: 931
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    They won't give you an E string? Change doctors.