STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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My husband has a good analogy for this behavior- similar to runor’s explanation. They are so lost, tossing in a turbulent sea. We are their rock, so they are always crashing against us. Full brunt of everything. And somehow as parents, it’s our job to take it. My older daughter is a freshmen in college, and she’s trying to get a rise out of me. We live 12 minutes from campus, and first she started staying with friends on campus. Ok. Then she unilaterally applied to dorm on campus. Ok, but I’m not paying for it. Now, she wants to get an apartment with her friends. Ok. She works part time- good luck. She just keeps upping the ante. This way when she fails, she can blame it on me. But I won’t take the bait, I don’t do drama. She’s been my child her whole life, you’d think she’d know better. Growing up is hard, and the only way to do it right is to screw up!
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Thanks, I am obviously very worried but yesterday the hurt went right through me. It appears my youngest son is in a bit of denial he needs help. My older son thinks he is way too involved with a video game called Tera. He is losing his friends and resorting to playing on line. He is entering the next phase of life. I wish my older son could help but the youngest has never been nice to him or showed caring for him.
Unfortunately, I think he has to hit rock bottom before anything happens.
We all have one thing in common breast cancer, and many of us have children it really helps to talk with you.
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My oldest son(37) and my youngest (18) are feuding. It was all a misunderstanding on the oldest sons part. He waited till there was a bunch of guys around then started screaming at him and threatening to punch him. Seriously, he was not raised like that! If he drives by the youngest son he gives him the finger. Really!!! When I tried to talk to him he told me to mind my own business or he’s done with me too. The youngest son cried as he was so hurt. The oldest is married with 4 kids. He reall needs to grow up. I’m tired of it.
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what we go through and breast cancer on top of it. For me the problems I can't fix I am praying.
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sounds like a bunch of us are dealing with this type of behavior with our toddlers -er, sorry, I meant young adult children - on top of dealing with BC. Thinking we might need our own thread for this topic.🙂
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Hi Lita57.
I start Gemzar next week. What has been your experience with this drug?
I appreciate anything you can tell me.
13kkan
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13kkan, I find that Gemazar is a bit easier than Taxol...not as much fatigue or gastro issues.
Problem is it seriously lowers your platelets which make your blood clot. It also raises your liver ALTs. I've had to postpone infusions a few times bcuz of this.
Will get scanned later in the month to see if it's working.
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Still having gastro issues (has to be the zometa without a saline drip this time), but hip is not so painful.DD has been begging for. rhubarb berry cobbler. This is a different recipe from what I usually make. I'll let you know how it is
. I didn’t put as many blackberries in it bcuz dd likes a higher rhubarb ratio to berries.L
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Looks delicious Lita!
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Verdict is in...we like this online recipe better than my old one, which has a batter topping.
This one takes a little more work for the crunchier topping, but it's worth it.
L
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hello 13kkan,
I had very low platelets when I had TAXOTERE,HERCEPTIN,CARBOPLATIN and PERJETA and my platelets were so low @ 38,000 and everytime i brushed my teeth even with soft bristles,my gums bled a lot and i had nosebleeding everyday,so in short,low platelets make you bleed,my oncologist gave me NEUPOGEN shot once and i tried to eat POMEGRANATE and RED BEETS which helped me raise my platelets naturally.
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Lita that cobbler looks delicious! You are a great cook
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I had the liver biopsy on Tuesday and yesterday my Oncologist called to say that the results were negative. She added that the radiologist swore he got good samples. She wants me to do a Pet scan on Wednesday just to be sure. I just saw the actual report online and no where on there do I see "negative" it says no component information for the results. What does that mean and did she say negative to spare my emotions ?? Ultasaound, Ct scan and MRI all identified highly likely mets to the liver. My spirits were on high after speaking to her yesterday after a two week depression after hearing mets and now this.
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Just noticed the day and time on the report is half and hour after the biopsy was completed. There's no way he would have gotten results so quickly. Perhaps this is just the report and the results although in, haven't been posted on my portal yet. I'm going to hold on to that thought.
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Janila: That's great news! FYI, my patient portal never shows pathology/biopsy results, good or bad. I always have to get them from my doctors. I assumed they don't want the patient to see the results and jump to conclusions.
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Janila03, you need to be sure what the final biopsy report showed and of course also complete the PET. There is a big difference between a negative biopsy and a biopsy with insufficient tissue, still waiting on final review, or whatever “no component information" means in your hospital.
Hoping both bx and PET are negative and best wishes,
CP
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This is a HUGE issue for me. I am not stage 4 but these Ibrance commercials piss me off! What happened to Julie and now we have Alice? They encourage you to tell your doctor about Ibrance? IMHO any stage 4 sisters that have a doctor that does not know about Ibrance, RUN!!! OMG.... no wonder it is so expensive. Swear to God, every half our they advertise. Bring down the damn costs for love of god!
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NBJB Alice is definitely too cheerful. You think the Ibrance people want you to push for it whether or not it’s the right choice. That’s just wrong.
Janila, too be sure why not get a second opinion from a hepatologist? (After you get your Pet Scan results)
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Lita, don't tell me your rhubarb is already up enough that you can harvest and bake with it ?!? And I still have a glacier on my lawn (grumble, Canada).
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In California, peak rhubarb season is April thru July
.Spring is late coming in many parts of the country, sadly.
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Lita- you are so lucky with your weather. It is freezing here in Maine! Some years we reall don’t get a spring. Had some snow and freezing rain last night. We are going to Bermuda on the 4th. Looking forward to warm weather and sunshine ☀️.
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I’ve read that in a few years there will be a shortage of PCPs. So what? Mine doesn’t have a clue about cancer or back pain due to vertebrae burst, arthitis, AI symptoms. All she did was act as a broker house sending me out to good and bad specialists. Mostly bad, but my heart doctor And my opthamologists are keepers. It doesn’t matter now because she offto a more meaningful career at the Veteran’s Hospital. I picked my MO myself. She thinks I made the change due to vicinity, no, that wasn’t the reason. My previous MO was more than rude and arrogant. My questions for her were such a bother. She runs the clinical trials - way too busy for patients. I had the good fortune to meet two of her patients (one here at BCO) that had the same distaste for her. Lately l feel that with most of my doctors I would be just as well off with a robot. That could be the future?
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Marijen,
That just might be. Hey, we have robotic cars now. The robot drs could just punch all the symptoms into a computer and probably come up w/better answers than a dr might. I don't need a "touchy feely" doc....I just want somebody (or some THING) who can treat me properly and not give me the run around.
But I wouldn't mind having that halogram doc from one the Star Trek shows. He seems pretty sharp. Wouldn't want Gregory House, tho. Loved the show, but his bedside manner left MUCH to be desired.
L
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Notbroken you made me laugh out loud for real because every time I see Julie (and now Alice) she gets a big F.U. from me hahaha! I'm HER2+ so Ibrance isn't for me, I just get so mad because I think it's misleading, that if you take Ibrance you'll feel great and be all happy and cheerful. B.S. Maybe Julie and Alice are supposed to be Stage IV NEAD and maybe if you're NEAD you do feel that good? All I know is that if I'm having a rough day and that commercial comes on, better watch out! You're absolutely right, they should stop spending money on advertising and work on reducing these insane costs we'll be incurring for the rest of our lives. I wonder if Ibrance knows (or cares) how much we all hate those commercials?
marijen the best thing about having a PPO instead of an HMO is getting to bypass the need to get a referral from a PCP. I can just go directly to any specialist I want. I do coordinate everything through my M.O. but I haven't seen my PCP since my diagnosis because my M.O. has handled anything that hasn't required another specialist (like my cardiologist). I get it that going through a PCP makes sense for most people, but not when you have something complicated like cancer that is beyond their scope. I think it would make more sense if they would let you designate your M.O. as your PCP as long as you're in treatment.
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LoriCa~ I am stage four NEAD. I do NOT feel or act like Julie or Alice. And I am 47. There is no way, I could be up all day long, no less run up and down stairs and teach a few dozen students. Without breaking into the worst sweat heat flash, then I would need fifteen minutes just to look like a normal human being. Because I’ve sweat through my skin through every cell in my body and I am soaking wet. My hair is stuck to my head and then I feel like I need a hair dryer to dry off. Those commercials are crap!!! Some women do feel good. But I would suppose they are not jogging regularly, or they would use real People to do the ads. But the reason they don’t is, no one wants to find hope in seeing a hunched over, muscled bound, pain ridden, sometimes dizzy, sometimes red in the face, sometimes exhausted, fatigue ridden beyond measure. They want people to think that this will bring them closer to who they used to be. It is just not true for everyone. At least no one I know. Crock of shit! ~M~ They want the people that look like they are doing just fine. I’m doing ok. But there are NO guarantees As we know !
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Ladies, may I suggest you post your complaints about the Ibrance ads on this thread, Provide feedback/advice about our site and campaigns?!. Here is the link:
https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/93/topics/860125?page=9#idx_245
The mods check in on this forum periodically. It's amazing how we are bombarded with four Ibrance or Xgeva ads on just about every page on the main web site pages. I can't imagine a newbie feeling comfortable doing his/her research here.
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LoriCA Thanks for your input about PPO/HMO. It's my understanding that with Medicare we don't need referrals, however, for the clinic I go to, it is their "rules". What bothers me is our "parts" are picked apart my these specialists and they don't want to know about anything that doesn't pertain to their body section! Today I mentioned pain in my pelvis and my MO was quick to ask did I tell my PCP? Well no because when I walked into the exam room, the nurse said they only had time for two issues. hahaha. Mo replies well then make another appointment! Right, two things about that, one it means another half day for me including an hour of travel time to mention one thing and another time slot for them - I mean they make patients wait anyways don't they? I'm practically screaming with laughter. Hey I thought since um because I have BC and I might have mets sooner or later my pelvic area might be considered?? Gotta love them. I'll take a robot when they come available, er...that would be one without judgement.
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You dont need a referral for medicare. If you have issues which makes sense to see a specialist for then they should book the appt. If they don't take medicare then thats diffetent. Id contact your local representatives about their rules. They should know.
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We all know it, the kind of crying that comes from the gut up...great heaving sobs that leave you breathless. The kind of hurt that seems to bring you to the brink of losing yourself...who you are..what you previously thought you were and what you mistakenly thought others thought of you. The shock that anyone could be so unkind,ungrateful, cruel and intentionally wanting to make you feel this way. At very least the heaving sobs are a relief, hopefully they exhaust me enough to stop the words from playing over endlessly in my head. Just a vent. I'll bounce back, always do.
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Micmel, darn it, you took away all of my motivation for trying to get to NEAD hahaha!! I keep hoping that one of these days I'm going to feel better than I do right now. I still have many days when I'm proud of myself just for getting out of bed, showering, dressing and feeding myself breakfast on my own (I know that sounds bad, but I was in really rough shape last year), and then I turn around and beat myself up for not handling things as well as Julie and Alice. I can fake it for a few hours and people will comment about how well I'm doing, but as soon as I'm back home I'm done for. And yes the hot flashes, and it's going to be even more miserable during the summer isn't it? At least I don't have enough hair yet to worry about ruining my hairstyle when the hot flashes hit haha! I get the chills from herceptin for a few days after my infusion too, so this week I'm bundled up like it's the dead of winter inside the house (including a warm hat and a blanket) even though it's in the 70s outside, then I start ripping off layers every time a hot flash hits, then a few minutes later I'm putting everything back on. My husband just laughs at me. The real b*tch is that I already went through menopause once naturally and now I'm dealing with the hot flashes and night sweats all over again. Wasn't once enough?? This is our "new normal" haha!
marijen sorry I'm not familiar with how Medicare works. My M.O. probably treats me the way he does because I am Stage IV with an extremely aggressive cancer that almost killed me once already, and if it starts growing again we need to jump on it immediately. He watches me like a hawk and wants to know absolutely every symptom. When I read stories from other women about problems with their doctors and other medical professionals, it makes me realize how lucky I am, all of my doctors have been great. Only two issues per visit? That's nuts, cancer is a very complicated disease. And a lot of our issues are due to the drugs we are on, so I want to talk to someone who understands the big picture.
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