STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
Comments
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GG27, have you talked to your MO about this? I wonder if an MO might be more successful than a GP at getting your original PS (or any PS) to work with you. If an MO say "this patient is healthy and should be prioritized for this surgery", the PS would be hard pressed to refuse. It's a lot easier to pass on a referral from a GP.
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Yes, My MO has tried many PS's in Vancouver, their answers are always the same, they are too busy, go to your original PS or "oh we don't do any surgeries on stage IV". My original PS is in Nanaimo. I don't know how much it would cost but even if I paid, it doesn't seem like I can in any time soon.
I don't understand how they can just leave someone in pain with obviously failing implants. I am almost to the point of tears it is so frustrating. I think my MLA may be my next step and the head of the Plastic Surgery for BC. I think the problem too is that they are PS & Cosmetic surgeons & there is too much $ in cosmetic surgery. it's easy, easy $$ and no paperwork, no waiting for approvals from the health authority.
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GG27, that makes no sense to me, we do not do surgeries on stage IV patients. It should be no different between having implants replaced due to medical complications. Stage IV people get surgery all the time related to our cancer and in your case this should not be any different. If it was cosmetic, that would be different, this is a medicalissue from a surgery that arose from your breast cancer. I hope you do have success with your MLA and I would not be shy about contacting a tv station about the people saying no. Sometimes publicizing policies can get the ball rolling as well.
I was told here in Ontario I would have no problem if I wanted a reconstruction later on but that was before I was diagnosed stage 4. Same thing would probably happen to me that you are going through if I wanted a reconstruction (which I don't).
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I agree with Mara. Time to go public. Name names and point fingers. But before you do perhaps you should contact your surgeon and just give them the heads up that they are about to be named in your upcoming tv interview. At least give them the chance to unfuck themselves.
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GG27, I hope that something good comes your way; that's just not right of them to do that.
Time for a vent: So, not quite out of the blue, my boss puts me on notice that I'm worse than I've been. Starting right about when chemo began (over two years ago!). My productivity isn't up to top par, words used aren't the best chosen, and memory seems to be at the source of all of this. Can't consistently remember everything. I tried googling to see if there was a magic pill and wouldn't you know? There is one: Modafinil. There has been at least one study that supposedly proves that breast cancer patients had significant improvements in memory, etc. Other meds were mentioned, but this one stands tall above the others.
So, I sent messages to my new MO, my primary and my neurologist. My neurologist wants me to see a psychologist for cognitive tests, I saw my primary that said the same thing and my MO won't get back to me...yet. The PCP wants me to take a month off of work to get to the bottom of it. One problem that I can see is that most doctors aren't going to see you for at least a month. Now, I don't know if that's true of the testing but I'm going to call one of them and leave a message. Apparently, they don't want to answer the phone. Now I will look forward to phone tag. All of this while walking on eggshells at work, praying that I don't slip up. I'm hoping to get a temporary pass while I'm trying to rectify the situation. And, if I turn out to be right, I may be eligible for some sort of accommodation. I could just scream! The timing of this is so crappy since there is practically no one that can cover my shifts even with advanced notice.
Plus, peeps who take time off like that may not have a job to come back to. Arg! Why don't more doctors know about this stuff???
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I'd talk to the boss about modifying to help you. Do they know you went through chemo? In CA you just need a doc to write you out on state disability which is up to a year. You need to figure things out and not be so stressed, which adds to the problem. GL
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Artista928, Yes, they do know that I went through chemo (which began July of 2017 to July of 2018). They probably believe that I have recovered in all ways. Thanks for the good wishes.
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really hate rude doctors. I had to go to urgent care for an infection God I hate those places.
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sweetp, time to educate them? Maybe your mo could write something? Some don't recover fully. I didn't and I'm 3 1/2 years out from last chemo. Did rads then tamoxifen and am usually too fatigued to do much of anything, and cognition isn't the same. You have to put yourself first.
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Bless you Artista, My MO told me that her "door was always open"..."just call me, etc.". Haven't heard from her for 4 days. I left messages yesterday and today. (Sigh)
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Sweetp, are you on any antidepressants? If so, who monitors your medication? I have been on antidepressants for years. When BC came along my psychiatrist worked closely with me. About seven months after BMX with DIEP Reconstruction I was healing well but the fatigue and brain fog kept me on the sofa most of each day. He prescribed Modifinal and it’s a game changer. The brain fog lifted and the debilitating fatigue resolved and I could join the human race again. My psychiatrist said he often sees patients with chronic long term medical issues (MS, Parkinson’s, Cancer, etc.) benefit from Modifinal.
I doubt that you will find that your MO, PCP will prescribe it for you or if they do if insurance will cover it. If you can get to a psychiatrist you may receive help more quickly. I would get to the psychiatrist and let him/her decide what tests are needed and you might have them done within the same practice
Praying you get the help you need quickly.
Hugs,
Bella2013
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Dear bella2013, it's a hurry-up and wait situation. My PCP prescribed effexor several weeks ago, but I haven't been able to start taking it because she wants me to try it when I have at least 2 days off. Lucky me, I only have one other FT co-worker and the two of use are juggling the shifts so the first time that I can try it is this holiday weekend. Since my boss didn't bring this up earlier this year, I'm scrambling to get ahold of my MO. It really shocked and hurt me that she didn't respond to me yet. Post-chemotherapy cognitive impairment shouldn't be some secret. I haven't been able to find out about this until about last week. It's been fairly known since 10 years ago or thereabouts. (Thinking) How come no one brought this up before????? It is really sad that so many health professionals "forgot" about this. It supposedly effects about 30% of breast cancer chemo patients, and can last for years.
Because of where I work and our staff is lower than it should be, I get the short end of the stick! I want at least one day off during the week but they give preferential scheduling to the part timers, which IMO is wrong! Not venting at you, my dear. It's the way it is. Right now, my fellow FT texted me "can you come in early today?" I just want to scream.
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sweetp, it might be time for you to learn how to say NO. If they are so tight on staffing, what are they gonna do? Fire you?? Tell them you NEED two days off in a row to try Effexor. (Don't mention Effexor. It is an antidepressant and no telling where that might lead their little minds.) Tell your co-worker you can't come in early. NO NO NO.
Do I seem unnaturally annoyed, even for me? Well, yes I am. I called MO this morning to get Pet scan results (very brave of me) that I had last week and was on hold for 15 minutes. The whole time, you wonder if you should hang up but don't want to waste the time you already put in. I finally get a person who tells me my MO is on vacation until next Tues. Whatever. She gets to take vacation. They could leave a message for the on call MO who just happens to be my former MO who I FIRED. No, thank you. Plus, he doesn't give results over the phone. You need a DOCTOR to explain results, right? Even though my stage IV dx came on the PORTAL. I wish I hadn't called. I usually don't. And this is why. Just more aggravation. Is it getting harder to get medical people on the phone lately? And to get them to do anything reasonable? I'm finding that to be the case.
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Medical machine seems to forget it's a SERVICE industry. They need to take some lessons from a good waitress who runs her ass off, juggles hot plates, keeps an eye on your coffee, asks if everything is alright and do you need anything else and does it all with a smile. I think your business is only as good as the people answering your phones and if they are unmotivated dipshits, you look like an incompetent ass and very well may be if you hired such useless staff.
Sweetp: Saying no. Something most women are not trained to do. In fact, actively discouraged from. However, there is also the situation where feeling needed is an addiction. Not saying that is the case here. But it warrants some serious personal examination. Do you believe the world will stop revolving without you? That you alone are the only person to sail in and save the business with your extreme dedication and going to work even when you're half dead from exhaustion? Do you believe that by working above and beyond what's reasonable you will gain some sort of pay off in the end? This is crazy thinking and I am surrounded by people who subscribe to this particular religious belief and I have seen the fall out when they discover that all their hard work and dedication and saying yes when they clearly should have said no, did not pay off. They learn the HARD way that they have been thinking like idiots. In fact, not thinking at all. Just believing something without critically examining their core values and motives.
It is not admirable to not know when to quit. It is not virtuous to keep going when your own health is in jeopardy. I do not say this to make you feel bad. I say this so that you feel your life, your health and your time is as valuable as everyone and everything else and thus you can give yourself permission to put a hard limit on the work you will do and won't do. You get to draw that line. In fact, it is your responsibility to draw that line. It's called self care. If ever there was a time to care for yourself, it's now. You are perfectly permitted to do that. It doesn't make you lazy or selfish. It makes you a person worth caring for.0 -
Sweetp you might need a referral from primary to get testing done. I had to do that to get mine done. I was told I could no longer do my current job or hold a job at this point after my testing and that went in with my SSDI claim.
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Runor just reminded my foggy brain of something my boss told me when I started working for a busy surgeon. I bent over backwards which is admirable. However my boss who is still my friend to this day told me the more you give, the more they want, and you don't get any brownie points. I never took vacay and rarely got sick. Doc loved me, of course. But I was killing myself so worried I'd lose my job. I was the only one who knew how to schedule sx. No one wanted that job with all the rules and them changing all the time. So they figured I'm so good that I'll also cover for absences, do the annual reminder letters, and do eligibility. Wtf?? So I worked myself into a mental breakdown and was out for 6 weeks. Guess what. They survived! People had to step in. Sucked for them but my health comes first. I am alone so a lot of fear of losing my job. But what good would i be anyway if i had a stroke or heart attack from stress?
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bsincolorado, Now I am scared. If the testing results say that I can't work, that's it for me. Toast.
My first appointment is 4 weeks away. First, an interview with the psychiatrist, next, testing on one or two days, then follow up appointment to discuss the results. Then, possible treatment. I'm still calling around though. Because this could take months.
My MO finally got back to me ( I did mention that trying to find someone to see me sooner is almost impossible). They insist that I should follow the neurologist's recommendation: testing, etc. I couldn't be more depressed about this. I know this is giving up, but I am really disappointed with my Cancer team. I plan on saying so by calling them tomorrow. I'm also aware that it isn't all about me. There are tons of people that need some sort of help out there but seriously, my symptoms are obviously connected to PCCI. Are they trying to cover their butts? I just want to try this medicine that has been proven to work (modafinil).
So, I guess I'll give effexor a try. Maybe the side effects that my PCP mentioned are mostly unlikey. Now that I mention it, my PCP prescribed effexor, but won't have anything to do with modafinil.
In any case, I appreciate you all sharing your stories. I should speak up more, like when they asked me to work all Mondays thru Fridays (till the end of time?). I should have said NO so that I could have had at least one weekday off. I still have that option to ask for that even though it may reduce my work hours in some way. After all, the workplace requires an average of 30 minimum hours per week to stay full time AND insured by them. They used to tell me what my average was, but now, I have to do the math myself. Lovely!
Thank you for letting me vent
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sweetp you may be different and recover just fine. I do not know what kind of work you are doing. I was a mortgage loan processor involved with a lot of detailed paperwork and on a definite time limit to get certain tasks done. I could not do it after awhile myself. I have a dear friend who had a stroke and still works in a medical office just fine at a desk by keeping good notes. Every person is different in their cancer decisions and how they react to medications. Do not forget that. You are motivated to keep your job. Best of luck to you and try to remember that.
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If my motherfucking husband touches the motherfucking thermostat one more motherfucking time, I WILL MURDER HIM!!!!!
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Great rant Hapa.
You should write that on a post it and stick it beside the thermostat!!!
GP
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Hapa, best post ever!
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Hapa,
I think I just fell a little bit in love with you 😎.
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Lmfao
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hapa, can you find a thermostat with a lock? Hahaha
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Sending hugs, Jumpship. I've been in that place more times than I care to remember. Take care of yourself. Ask for help if you need it. I didn't, and very nearly "jumped ship" last December. Most days I'm glad I didn't, but not every day.
Be well.
Trish
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I'd put it on a sticky by the thermostat and sign it, anonymous..
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Jumpship:
You are alone and thank you for openly expressing what a lot of us are repressing. It's not easy being us and no one understands that more than the people who post here. We are here for you, just reach out. You will not be judged. Sending a big hug.
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Hapa: Your post made me laugh! I would go for a poster rather than a post it; size and visibility matters when you make threats. Yes, there are locks for thermostats. Did he get the message?
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DH did not touch the thermostat last night. He also slept in the guest room, which is the warmest room in our house. Even better, this way he's not waking me up at midnight when he comes to bed (which is also when he turns up the thermostat -- to 80!). I think the dog is on my side. He and I slept soundly last night, for once.
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My dad likes 80 too. I like 65 to 70. Glad I don't live with him. You can layer up but not down.
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