STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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edj3,
Right there with you, I HATE ALL OF THIS FUCKING TOO! Feels better to say that.
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I know I'm the odd one out in society on this, but when I ask how someone is doing, I really do want to know, and I ask because I actually do care and want to be there for someone who might need someone to talk to.
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Thanks Edj.
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WC3- you are not odd. When I ask someone how they are, I am really asking because I care.
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Edj3, I hear ya. I had a non-contrast CT a few days before my lumpectomy (I was a smoker at the time and my MO wanted more than an x-ray), and it caught enough of my kidneys to show a 7 cm tumor. So, I got to squeeze visits to a urologist and a contrast CT in between my lumpectomy follow-up and a re-excision. July: lumpectomy, August: re-excision, September: radical nephrectomy, October: start breast radiation. Plus all the tests and follow-up appointments. Insane schedule. For the kidney cancer, I was a stage 1b (barely, another fraction of a mm would have pushed me into stage 2, and it was a grade 4 (ick), so I've had two contrast CTs and a PET this year, plus a kidney bed biopsy that, luckily, turned out to be scar tissue. Plus ridiculous amounts of blood tests (every freaking week for a month recently!). Plus I'm at stage 3 (out of 5) kidney disease as my remaining one adjusts to double duty. My life seems to revolve around boob and kidney, even after more than a year. I think I finally have a month with no appointments in February, the first since August. I thought it was going to be "Go forth and cancer no more" after a few months, and not be the long-term hobby from hell.
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Exactly! One thing leads to another and another and we are treated differently! I too am so sick of this, I just want to not think about it all the time.
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You know what ladies?? You are all so f-ing brave to just keep going. I see women with pretty much the same dx as me or worse and you all just dig in. Idk if I can do it. 1st consult with radiologist tomorrow. I don't want to go because they will say I need to do what ever.., and I just feel like saying fuck it. Had surgery , the margins were clear so why do I have to go thru the rest of this BS? Then there is the whole decision making on Al drugs which looks like no picnic. Idk how much estrogen I have left anyway --- have to shave my damn billy goat chin hair every am. The only person keeping me together is my sis inlaw who has lymphoma. I told her I only got BC so she wouldn't be alone on her cancer journey. I do feel better after writing this out. thx for listening.
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KID, you are so right!
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AliceBastable, I actually thought of you when I read the radiologist's report. I'm confident this isn't renal cancer, but I bet that's what you said too!
I finally had to step away from researching this though (all reputable sites) because the danger with the kind of tumor the radiologist thinks I have (both of them) is they can rupture and then you're hemorrhaging. Plus a needle biopsy is par for the course and you know what? I fucking hate needles. Yeah enough. My brain's full.
KIDI919 I cracked up at your comment about your damn billy goat chin hair!
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Kid, you don’t have to be brave, you just have to show up. After all the cancer crap I’ve had in the past 7 years, being diabetic, needles don’t scare me so much anymore and sometimes my port can be used. Checked my calendar no dr appts till Jan. I think. Am waiting for the reminder call or the where the hell are you call. I’m not in the mood for Christmas. Have a poor excuse of a tree. No other decorations. Not in the mood to give Spookie a bath either. Bah humbug.
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OK I love your tree! We have ours up but nothing's on it except lights.
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Found tree on Amazon. $29. It’s called a pop up tree, collapses into itself, fits in a flat box size of the base. Comes in different colors. Easy peasy.
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I don't know whether to laugh or cry. My first contrast CT last year in July, which was to get the details of the kidney tumor, also showed an aortic aneurysm. Nobody would tell me much about it, and I was really starting to freak out. Finally, my MO referred me to a cardiothoracic surgeon. I couldn't get an appointment until June, at which time he said that it wasn't yet an urgent situation, and scheduled another CT for June of 2020. I was somewhat relieved but still felt I was living under another major cloud. When I had my first appointment with my new primary (because my old one was worse than useless), she scheduled me for an echocardiogram so I'd know more about what was going on. Well, well. I found out yesterday that there is no aneurysm, and my heart is in good shape. WTF. Can I find whoever read that first CT and have a punching session for ruining over a year of my life with the stress of thinking my heart was going to pop? Maybe I'll throw in some choking with the punches.
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WOW. That's awful, Alice.
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Went to the funeral, now I wish I hadn’t. Drama got started by my mother and I got blamed for it. On top of it very snide and cutting remarks were made about my hubby and after it was over I let my feelings be known that I was done with everything. Don’t care if people that I directed it at didn’t like it, tired of always being treated like dirt and keeping quiet!
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AliceBastable:
Just out of curiosity and not to alarm you, did you get a copy of the CT report when they discovered the aortic aneurysm? I would request a written copy of this report because most of them occur in the abdomen, not in the chest, so it would not be detected by an echocardiogram. Did the new PCP look at this CT scan report? I would request a copy of the abdominal CT scan report just to be on the safe side. Better safe than sorry.
BTW my Dad had one for over a decade and it never "popped". He died from an unrelated condition at the age of 90.
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Spookiest mom I like the tree!
Mine only has lights too edj. Hoping you find out soon about the kidney tumours. I had a kidney cyst that was hemorrhagic but now isn’t . Or description is now different.
The reading of these scans seems to be open to a lot of interpretation. A specialist I saw yesterday, saw contradictory readings. So we wait another year. Now just need the referral for another endometrial biopsy. Fa lala!
Mommy sorry about the funeral drama. Yikes!
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Betrayal, it specifically said a descending aortic aneurysm. I know the difference because my Dad had an abdominal one that was repaired when he was 89 - at the same time he had a cancerous kidney removed. The report was seen by my oncologist, my old PCP, a cardiothoracic surgeon, and my new PCP, and they all saw that it read aortic. I have the written report on my online chart, and it definitely says aortic. I need to find out if the cardiothoracic doctor saw the actual scan or just the written report, because if anyone should have caught a mis-read, it should have been him.
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AliceBastable:
Glad that your report did indicate descending aorta which would be in the chest. You saw a surgeon albeit a cardiothoracic one, and guess how he earns his bread and butter, not via an office visit. So yes, he should not have a misread. I would follow-up on that to see what he did read, scan versus report.
My Dad's was inoperable because it was too close to the renal arteries and it was decided the risk was too great. He finally got to the point where he refused any further follow-up on it because it was too stressful. It was large but again not the cause of death.
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I hate to worry you too Alice, but there is something called an abdominal aortic aneurysm.
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Again, this was specifically a descending aortic aneurysm leading to the heart. Luckily, WAS, not IS. My abdomen is also scanned regularly (each scan is chest, abdomen, and pelvis) due to last year's kidney cancer and nephrectomy. Detailed information of everything in the abdomen is included on every scan report.
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AliceB, does your medical coverage allow you to get a second opinion on the scan itself? I requested a second opinion of my breast biopsy. Things went from bad to worse, the 2nd opinion deeming me rather further along than the first. But...information is information and the more you have in your hand the better off you are.
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Can I just say that what's the point of my team telling me "Be sure to let us know if you have any type of pain that doesn't get better with medications or fatigue that doesn't get better with rest." if no one is going to fucking listen to me??
I've been telling people this for the past 7 months and again I brought it up to my MO this week and they told me to talk to my Primary about my fatigue.
Oh I'm sorry was my EYE ROLL out loud much????!!!
I'm on the 6th NEW medical diagnosis of 2019, one of which included MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS, recovering from Cancer #2 surgery this month, and am now worrying about a possible Cancer #3 in my LUNGS at the moment.....can someone just stick a fork in me?
Oh and yeah, my 4 year old kitty is dying from Gastric Lymphoma, and I have to take my pup into the Vet next week because her liver meds aren't working and they are concerned about CANCER. I'm batting a hundred here.
FML.
Sorry. Am just so over everything right now. Thanks for letting me vent ya'll.
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Awww Spoonie. That is shitty. It's all just ...shitty. I am so very sorry to hear this. I don't know how people stagger through, I honestly don't.
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Spoonie- AMEN TO TELLING YOUR TEAM ABOUT ISSUES THAT THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT !!!!!! Been there.
Bless you for all you are going thru---MS too !!!!!! Good grief. Cancer #2 surgery? What happened? And bless your fur babies---- they are part of the family, too.
If you need to talk, PM me anytime.
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My sister had prophylactic BMX (BRCA1+) on Thurs and is planning to have reconstruction. The plastic surgeon was wearing a pink ribbon pin on his lab coat and something about that pissed me off. Couldn’t figure out why.....well, he’s the only one that didn’t visit my sister after surgery and he was supposed to give her post op instructions. Still haven’t heard from him. Told me after surgery that he didn’t want her to start exercises until she sees him again. No f-u appt so far. Like many PS’s, arrogant, but I can accept that as long as they do what their supposed to. I guess I’m mad b/c he wears pink ribbon pin but didn’t do all of his job. We are pretty much following my post op instructions which isn’t the greatest thing b/c I didn’t have reconstruction and I’m not sure whether we are doing the right thing. Calls into PS, lets see how long it takes for return call.
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Runor (and others), I've had two contrast CTs and an echocardiogram since that CT that supposedly showed an aneurysm. None of those tests showed any issues with my heart (or anywhere else that an aneurysm could occur), so I will go with my primary's explanation that a slight shift in positioning could have caused the error. I will continue to be scanned two or three times a year for a while, so I am monitored very closely. My irritation was with the unnecessary worry over thinking I had a serious condition that did not, after all, exist. Which is, overall, a minor issue compared to the problems that Spoonie (❤) is facing.
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I'm sad and sorry that you are having to go through all of this Spoonie.
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Well, the best thing that came out of the drama I supposedly caused was that my mom called me yesterday and said that neither one of us caused any drama. This was the fake people finally revealing how fake they are and that neither of us were really accepted by the true drama starters because we weren't blood related to them, only related by marriage. Mom told me she was proud of me for blowing up like I did in the end and letting those fake people know how I felt. She said we should only stick with those in our lives that want us around. Told her I was glad to be a black sheep. The fake ones have driven others away because they were made to feel the same way. No place for toxic people in my life anymore.
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Good for you, M0mmy0f2. Here's hoping for peace and tranquility here on out for you.
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