STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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Englishmummy,
Excellent insight into the situation. I do not expect that everyone on bco will like me, nor I them, nor do I expect everyone to agree on all things. What I fail to understand is why swearing and vulgar personal attacks need ever be a response to any post. And hoping that someone has progression? I simply don't know what to say to that. In my real life, no matter how angry/upset family and friends get with each other, I've never heard anyone speak to others that way. Yes, I know people do but not in my personal or professional circles. Take care.
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Exbrnxgrl, Progression that sucks, that is about as hateful as it gets. I awoke on day with a PM that would singe your eyebrows and the next PM in sequence was similar to what Englismommy said. I was so thankful to have the nice one after the burning one. Not sure what the rest of the day would have been like.
We just keep on trucking. Convoy like in the Bandit.(hope that's not an obscure thought--loved that movie), sometimes we lead, sometimes we follow, and sometimes we jump into the cradle
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Dec 29, 2015 12:24PM - edited Dec 29, 2015 12:25PM by MelissaDallas Sas, it seems like half of the health "news" and "research" I read is trying to "prove" politically correct hypotheses demonizing weight, nutrition, fat, alcohol, etc. Most of the "findings" don't stand up to scrutiny, or, at best, show very weak or alost statistically insignificant correlation. Yet I see umpteen posts here from women trying to strategize somehow being perfect enough as to what they put in and on their bodies to escape the demon. Makes me sick. Those of us who have been here long enough know there were plenty of teetotaling, marathon-running vegans who got it anyway...
Melissa agree whole heartedly. I know you read lots of studies too. Terribly frustrating to read biased studies that then someone else extrapolates on the biased information and publishes articles as true. Also, something that is common in studies is after reporting 'whatever' they follow with we 'think this might be related too_______'. That is not unreasonable because the researcher is drawing together thoughts generated from the study. This kind of observation leads to further research. But again some yoyo comes along that doesn't understand that the statement is an observation for future research and prints as a true fact. We then end up with the "Healthy Lifestyles" promulgation of so many organizations.
Lordy, just recently they're was a huge oncology fiasco with this type of thing, The research was out of Duke. One researcher lost his priveleges to publish or be funded for 5 years. Another expose earlier this year, was in the Psychology field where 50 studies based on one erroneous research had to be retracted.
It gives science a bad name for sure. But does support us being our own advocates. I learned early as a young nurse to study hard to learn as much about the area I was working in, so if I was given an order I knew if what they were saying was right. May sound weird, but it isn't. Caught countless errors.
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Smoky and the Bandit? We're dating ourselves 😝.
Seriously, I have only heard people speak in such crude, nasty language on reality shows that capitalize on that kind of stuff. It really blows my mind to realize that it goes on, for some, in the real world
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Ex, Smoky and the Bandit--------1978-1980? Well I was in my 20's and now I'm in my 60's. If this BC chit doesn't get me, with the family longevity history on my Mom's side, I should get into my 90's. All the cancer chit came from Dads side.
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I found this thread and seriously chuckled at all of it yet felt sad as well, people said exactly what I have been struggling with here almost two years post diagnosis. I do KNOW I am blessed that it was found at stage 1, and no mets yet. But I just know too much. I don't sit around all the time waiting for mets to come get me but unless you have dealt with having cancer, you really don't get that when stuff happens like bad bone pain it is the first place your brain goes. I am gaining weight like a hog on this Femara and eating like an ever loving Spartan..... a girl at work got breast reduction and said to me "now I am in your club". Really? She took the same amount of time off, six weeks, and I am sorry, you are not in my "club"......
I am a person with strong faith but I am human too and I am also driven crazy by people saying "asparagus", "don't harbor bitterness" (was I bitter, I sure wasn't aware of being bitter?!).... And please don't tell me I am CURED. That just feels weird. Thank you ladies for letting me vent!
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Enjoyeverymoment, What a beautiful screen name. Bless you. The weight thing---.We know it's the AI's, the docs say count calories and exercise. Shaking my head. Our docs are our life resource for intervention, and the treatments are killing us or making life more complicated. They're a bunch of threads that I suggest you read with the goal of developing a comeback library of comments and a quick assessment of whether the person
1. is so stupid they can't be educated,
2. Misinformed and can be educated,
3.Do you waste your breath on them and it's best to turn and walk away,
be back with some links
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ShetPon and sas-schatzi. I have not been on the boards since my initial rant, have calmed down and have a date to hopefully temporarily remove my implant due to nerve damage. No, there was no discussion with me to them about sharing info. I let my PS what I thought of his office mate. As a young PS coming up, I was told by my PS that he does not care. My doctor is an old timer and said he did not know. His staff said they told him. Anyway, I let it go. I went for a second opinion with another old timer who knows my PS and I finally have calmed down. This decent human being second opinion guy said I might never go back to the old me with my condition as my PS has told me. A heavy decision is being made for me to lose my breast again. I am sure I will survive.
Thanks girls.
Hugs,
Someday I will go through the rants after the surg. Still circumventing taking care of alz husband too.
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Sorry Ronnie, sucks. So, praying for you. You've been through too much.
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I came here to cry, don't mind me, just move along.
I talked with my MO today. I just had three chemos and now I'm depending on trials. There's no cure, only trying to keep the desease away as long as possible. If I don't make it to the trials then it becomes "life extending" chemo. How did I end up here? What kind of karma is this? Yes, I gonna ask, why me? In general, I try to enjoy every day but today is a "crying" day. Almost a month ago I saw a dream about me dying and it was so peaceful.I woke up and felt calm and ready if I have to die here and now. A month later I'm furstarted with not knowing what's going to happen. I'm not buying anyhting cause I think I will never wear/use these things. I'm that close to book a ticket to somewhere and get away of all the hospital appointments and treatments.
Find the cure for this bloody thing!
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((((MoreShoes)))) Just sending you a hug...and I agree. It is time for a cure...way overdue.
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More Shoes, Hugs and praying
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(((((((((MoreShoes)))))))) We are sending you as many cyberhugs as we can. You are not alone, and we are all here for you. Cry as much as you need with us!
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Thank you all so much for the virtual hugs. Moderators, thank you for creating a safe place to cry and let off steam. At home, I try to act "normal" so not to upset the kids. I don't know when is the time to tell them how bad things are.
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I hear you Moreshoes!
Sometimes I just want to crawl into a dark place and disappear. this morning I just cried and snuggled up to BF and just thought of all the beautiful things in the world that I will miss and the life I thought I would have. I try to be philosophical and find something to enjoy each day, but it is so hard. And then I had to get up and go on with life.
Hugs to you. Anna
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I'm new and excited to find this forum. I've been stewing all day. Had my surgery in late Dec and just started chemo last week. I've barely heard from my parents or brother. I sent them an email today telling them it hurt me that they've shown so little interest and both my mom and my bro came back immediately blasting me. My mom even said "just because we don't call everyday doesn't mean we don't care." Call every day? Had chemo on Weds, got a quicktext on Saturday checking on me. She and my dad had guests so they were too busy playing golf and going out to dinner. My bro ranted that I am a monster for judging him and I have no right. He's never called, doesn't visit, and sends a text every couple of weeks that say things like, "You good?" to which I get one word replies if I tell him what is actually going on. They are all actually pissed at me because I expressed my hurt during this horrible time in MY life. I didn't think they could be any more narcissistic but they've totally proven me wrong. Honestly, they should be a case study for how NOT to provide support to a family member going through cancer. Everyone can say I should be used to this from them, and I guess I am, but that doesn't mean it hasn't completely destroyed me as well. When do I get to the point where I can just walk away?
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Sorry, I need to vent. My husband was basically gone the entire time I was going thru treatment. Didn't go to one doctors visit with me. Now, I didn't have recon at the time, he said it wasn't important. Tonight he is at the bar with his attractive and 2 years younger than me co worker, who has supposedly been his rock thru all this. He won't have sex with me, and I told him I would start looking into reconstruction in 2 years or so...whenever my radiated skin is ok . I'm sad and jealous. He just plays video games at home, he doesn't want to interact with or touch me. I wish he could have honestly told me that no breasts was an intimacy deal breaker at the outset. I would have done a lot different. I'm sorry for typos...my phone is hard to type on. Thanks for letting me vent!
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wow, you've been through a lot bmx, radiation, and chemo is devastating emotionally and physically. But you've probably kicked the hell out of your cancer. Plastic surgeons can do great work. I don't know how long you've been married but he sounds very immature, he needs to thank God he has you. Maybe a counselor is needed for this marriage.
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lbchaos,
I'm sorry that your parents and brother aren't more supportive. Do you have other family and/or friends who are helping you through this?
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Really angry tonight. I haven't been feeling well. Headaches sever sinus eye issues, I been to doctors no answers yet. My husband making snide comments because I've been had sleeping issues.
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Thanks, Janett 2014.
Thankfully I have a TON of support from my husband and his family as well as my friends. I just don't want to deal with my parents or brother anymore, they're nothing but hurtful and negative. I've read so much about how when you get diagnosed you truly learn who really loves you. The way my family has acted will affect my dealings with them going forward forever. I surround myself with love and positivity, I can't deal with their negativity and hatefulness anymore, especially not when going through all this.
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typing in small case while keeping ice on the knot on my head from a fall and one handed.
jump.your family is horrible. toss them out of your life. no reason to keep them. they didn't help you and demand your service. don't look back.
at this end I should have kicked husbands family to the wayside after a couple of years. always believed it would get better. only got worse. don't waste years of your life trying to make horrible people change. not going to happen
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meow sorry about your headache sweetie........ hugs
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Sas - you OK? How come you fell?
Jump - sorry your family are being jerks...they should know better but many don't
{gentle hugs} Meow...hope you get some sleep and everyone else around you gets a sinus headache to see how they like it.
My rant for the day - ex husband to be wants to be friends. He dumps me on NYE, has cleaned out the bank accounts (after I paid off almost 100k of his debt from my pension payouts) and he keeps telling me how he wants to be FRIENDS...disrespectful S.O.B. Also smarting as pretty sure he's living his new 23 yr old shagpiece already. But won't tell me the address so I can get photos of them together for the lawyer.
Really hoping he gets cockrot.
/end_rant
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BlondeD thanks for asking, Flip flop caught on the entry door floor rim. Down so fast I couldn't put out forearms. Not sure what;s up with the shoulder. It of course happened b/c I started an exercise program with this thing I picked up at the side of the road. It requires uses of all extremities. Every step for the last 7 years since this all started, when I tried to add physical exercise back into the my life. Sumpin happened. Sounds whiny. But it's just like this big stupid thing. It's like this creature lurking, doing a take out when things look good. Ah hah the Grim.
Can now get the forearm up to the keyboard. Kept a fruitpop on the beaner on my head for a while.. Can't raise arm. But been there before....It'll work out.
I was back into swimming one time. Backstroke cuz I have a total spinal thingy. Backstroke worked. going along fine. THEN stepped into a wee hole in the yard. Stupid right ankle turned. Face into the ground. Shoulder a mess. Short time later maybe 2 weeks, there was a freak rain band. Dogs were soaked fast. Ran into the same doorway as where I fell tonight. I turned slipped on the water from their paws. Down on the other shoulder. Took a year for both shoulders to heal. Got back into swimming, but it was just too cold. Bought solar heat panels too the tune of 5700$. They didn't work right and the pump failed 1275$ more. July till Oct to get it right energy wise, by the electric bill. But no sun here in Florida since Sept. so couldn't swim. Stuffs under cadillac warranty. Can't see if it works right----no sun.
It's like these mythical gods are sitting in their clouds saying "okay what can we throw at her next". Fuck them.
I must have broken a mirror at some point or the cat under the ladder. 7 years, no peace. This is going to be way TMI. But have had peace for a few days from the negative vulva effects from radioactive iodine. It's been since April of 2014. pricklies.. Tried a new thing--Bag Balm. Pudenal pain is ranked in the top ten of pain. I'll agree with that. Never ending pain in the ending part.. Pray for me that it works.
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BlondeD, have tracked your NYE thread. How's it going. Do you need the pics to help the case. I thought you were solid with what you had. OR are the pics with his new chickie the icing? Private detective time?
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Hey Sas - heck yeah, praying you get relief!
I'm good for the divorce; he doesn't have a leg to stand on but I'd like a photo of him with his new shagpiece so he has to stop denying that he cheated as well as stole. Would just be a refreshing change if he told the truth for once, but hey - why break the habit of a lifetime?
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sas, I remember trying bag balm on my baby's diaper rash. Pretty good stuff, hope you feel better.
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Sas, I know what you mean even if I haven't been doing it quite as long. I was scheduled for hip surgery when I was diagnosed so that got put on the back burner for a long time. Since 2013 I've had 2 hip replacements, two eye surgeries, and a DIEP. Slipped on a hardwood floor with snowy shoes, fell on my knee and face two weeks ago. My nose wasn't broken but my knee cap was. More surgery to wire it together, a knee imobilizer for the next 6-8 weeks and then rehab. I jinxed myself when I told my DH that it was nice being able to walk through the grocery store without pain for the first time in many years. The kicker is that we leave on a cruise in a week, leg brace and cane in hand. When we get back I have a stage two recon scheduled and then have to figure out who to see about two thyroid cysts that they discovered. The Drs don't seem concerned but my BC was endrocrine in nature and I had rads. Nobody has said anything about any followup. OK - rant over for today.
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graceb, ugh............hugs
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