STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
Comments
-
Thank you mistyeyes. I lost my Dad suddenly. It's tough to take from a shock perspective but as with any grief I think it's the time that helps. I walked around numb for a month after his death, but with hubs it was more of a relief, onto then missing them. I went to the cemetery last week and it's not such a fresh grave now. Some grass has been planted and is filling in. Going to look into ordering a stone of some sort. I know they this may take a few months. With any luck maybe he'll have one before the ground freezes.
I did not go down to the Bay this past weekend. I needed a break. For one, there's not too much I can do until the plumber gets done. Two, I can only stand being around the cousins so much. I do love them dearly. I would have loved to have seen hubs favorite cousin that came up from Savannah who was visiting there, but---he could have texted or called to say hello after he found out I wouldn't be around. My daughter who is on fb with all their kids is how I learn what's going on. I didn't know he was coming. He was here the weekend hubs died, he just missed him and I was sorry he didn't get to see him one last time. He was in the hospital and he was the 1st one I called in that family when he passed. Daughter says I'm over thinking it (and I probably am) but will he ever text or call me again? I'm thinking the ball is in his court. I think he will. I'm not sure if he's still here or gone back to GA?
My daughter came home on Friday (she is still here today!) and we all (son and his gf) went out to dinner. That was strange. I don't know how these bars/restaurants are going to make it with the capacity restrictions. It must be impossible to make a profit and keep folks employed. Her bf came on Saturday and we went to a friends and ate crabs outside. Yesterday we did the grocery store and chilled out most of the day. I'll admit, it is so nice having her help me around the house. Also, just for the company. It's going to take me awhile I'm afraid to get used to being there by myself. Luckily this weekend wasn't bad, thanks to her. This week I have 2 friends coming with dinner, one tomorrow and one Thursday. My boss is taking me and a co worker out on Wed. Hopeful this week should go fast and I will be fine.
0 -
I think I am going to buy a rowing machine. I already have a little weight bench. Must get back into doing something. I hope this helps gets me through some grief as well. I can work out in the basement when I'm alone and feeling lonely. Previously, I was doing 2 circuit training classes at work which I loved, but thanks to covid-no more free stuff!
It is hard to describe just how different life is. I know I have to keep on living it.
After my daughter left to go home I was going through the mail. The claims are rolling in and my in coming pile is getting larger so this is another task to take up some lonely time by matching up the EOBs with the hospital billings. I got a double whammy back in 2017 and 2018. My bc diagnosis was in Dec., I hadn't used my insurance so I had my whole deductible due. Then, as we went into the new year and I had surgery and treatment, another years deductible. I ended up matching everything up over time, I had to write it out on a sheet which helped. One day the bills just stopped coming. I was making little payments as I could-every 60- 90 days or so. Last night, I open a letter from a collection group. I feel I may owe it (it's from 2017). Will have to go back to my sheet and look. I was wondering if any of you are years settling up on all this crap? I am pretty sure I can swing a one time pay off in full and then I will be elated to put the year 2017 behind me forever!!!!
0 -
Hey ctmbsikia I got a rowing machine in March right as everything locked down. We got a Concept 2 from Amazon, it's highly rated, fairly low profile for this kind of thing and while expensive, it wasn't horrendous like the very top end rowing machine. If you want, I'll post a picture of mine (it's in the dining room, which is never used for eating).
0 -
I've been through the same thing, Ctmbsikia. I just got a random billing and EOB for my mastectomy and DIEP flap surgery from April 2017. The bill, pre settlement, was for about $450,000! Yikes! We had already paid our share. It took 3 years, but at so at least I didn't have to worry about that.
I think it sometimes takes a long time for the provider and insurance company to settle their portion, then they occasionally spring the balance on us. I've found that if you push back they will often reduce the balance.
The thing about medical bills is that even if it goes to collections, most are extremely willing to work with you to come up with a payment plan. Even if you only pay $50.00 a month, it still counts as a payment.
You may want to talk to them. Let them know your situation and ask them to work with you.
I know it's been a rough time for you. Sending cyber hugs from California.
Trish
0 -
edj3-if I'm looking at the right model that looks expensive. Gulp. I was looking at the ones in the $300 to $500. range unless you think they are too cheap. I guess this magnetic thing is what you want to look for? So you get proper resistance and a good work out?
Trishyla-Can't believe it takes this long. As I said, I know I still owed some $$. but the statements just quit coming. The letter I received does state the different options to pay. The one time payment is almost a $500. savings which is why I'm thinking of just doing it --IF the total matches up with my prior records-- and just be done with it. Hugs back at ya!
0 -
Yeah it's still a lot of cash for sure. But I read all the reviews on a lot of models and this one hit the mark for us. Whichever you get, read up on them so you know what you're getting and what to expect.
0 -
ctmsb I have a concept 2 rower that I don’t use very often But I do use it. I used it today. It cost me about $1400 Canadian about 6 years ago. I have a indoor bike now, having killed My 16 year old treadmill last fall.
What i wanted to let you know however, is I used an online program over 18 months between nov 2018 and this spring to take off 20 lbs of post diagnosis/treatment weight. I Feel so much better ! I am not promoting the program just telling you what worked for me. I followed the live strong ‘myplate’ app for nutrition and the LiveStrong ‘stronger’ fitness program on my tablet. I modified everything in the beginning and took my time. It worked for me and gave me focus. I know we are all different and you will find your way,all the best.
0 -
I’d be rowing right now. I’m so pissed. I’m doing my best but this sucks to high heaven. I told him I’d be right behind him. I have no idea when that actually is. I’m so pissed at politics,the corona virus, and trying to pretend everything is ok. It’s not.
0 -
Me again. Going to be late for work! Oh well. Need a 1/2 hr or so to wake up and ponder how to get through this day. Part of me just wants to go back to bed and stay there. The other part says must carry on. Feels like a ton of bricks on my head and heart. I’ll get there. Wherever that is exactly?
Thank you for listening.
0 -
(((((hugs)))))
0 -
did you get there on time? I can only imagine the struggle for you every day, and all I can say is I hope you find peace and that we are able to give you some small daily bit of strength to keep on keepin’ on. We are all in your pocket.
0 -
I was almost late again today!! My boss took me and a coworker to dinner last night. We ate outside, it wasn't too hot and it was nice. Boss is super nice about my sometime tardiness. I believe he understands the adjustment.
I was thinking how many of us had to cancel travel plans due to the corona virus. That sucks. We had a family vacation planned for this month, We cancelled back in April and we did get our deposit back in full. A 9 bedroom beach house in Sandbridge, VA. Maybe next year? Sucks bigly.
It makes me happy though, that I do have so many memories of past family vacations. My husband wasn't a huge fan of flying but we got him on a plane a few times to FL. Many trips to the Outer Banks of NC, and a few to the Jersey shore. Cape May was our last one. I loved it there. This morning I was remembering the road trips I did with my daughter too. She is a rabid Dave Matthews Band fan. She's been to almost 40 shows over the years. For her 30th birthday she did the Gorge in WA state. It's right on the Columbia River, an outdoor venue. She and her cousin did the whole camping thing and 3 shows. My son traveled with me as I did just 1 show that weekend Literally, I flew out Sat. night, stayed in Seattle. Hired a driver Sunday morning to take us the 250 miles across the state. Met up with daughter, we did a winery, the concert, and when it was over drove back to Seattle and flew home. The summer after I finished radiation we drove up to Saratoga Springs, NY. There's an outdoor theatre in the national park there. Did 2 shows. We stayed in town, I absolutely loved it. Went to the park one day and did a massage and the pool. I would have done a mineral bath, but my skin was still healing and I was advised not to. We also hit the baseball hall of fame on the way home and had lunch at a brewery near Cooperstown in the woods. Last summer we flew out to Milwaukee WI. The outdoor venue there is maybe 40 miles away called Alpine Valley. It's where Stevie Ray Vaughn died. We took charter bus there, the depot was a block from the hotel. Hotel was fabulous. It was Summerfest (a music festival) in the city that weekend, so we had the added bonus of going to that as well. We stayed a few extra days so I booked us a ride on the Lake Express which was a 2 1/2 hr. high speed ferry that took us across Lake Michigan to Muskegon, MI. We sat on the beach there. Had lunch, sat on the beach some more, and took 4pm ferry back to WI. Good trip, and so glad I did all this.
This weekend I may go to her house and just do lunch. Outside of course. What a difference.
0 -
I've been getting increasingly livid at the idea that I might never get to travel internationally again. I keep making a mental bucket list and then getting angry as it seems it will not happen, either becasue of covid, or because I will be too sick & unstable, or I won't be able to get medical insurance to travel abroad (though 1 broker told me they might be able to get me some sort of policy if I'm stable for a certain period of time).
Ugh. Stage 4 + covid sucks so much
0 -
And the EU, and other countries are banning us till Covid is under control.
0 -
At this point we are stuck at home because DH is a transplant patient and so "stay at home" because NOT in control here at all. Can't see grandkids, can't see parents, can't see kids. ANYWHERE other than my own back porch would be nice.
0 -
I was hoping to travel to see a cousin but that’s not going to happen until numbers have dropped dramatically and stay that way. So
0 -
Yeah I have two fairly large credits from Delta for trips I had to cancel. I'm really missing traveling and I've got family I want/need to see. This is the real downside of scattered families.
0 -
Love that Kathidc!
We were told to travel while I am still able to do so and stuck at home. Seeing the squirrels out our front door each day the birds at the feeder are our big thrills in life. Sad.
0 -
Good day ladies. I'm on yet another post dead husband mission. If I recall right, sometime around Easter hubs and son snaked a pipe since our toilet was not working properly. Several weeks later, same thing. Now knowing his cancer was spreading to his brain and that he may not be all there mentally, I'm glad I encouraged him to ask for help. Pipe was cleared that time. With help. After this though, I would notice a slight sewer gas smell. It would come and go at times-of course this coincides with his last few weeks and I guess I'm just now realizing this should have been at the top of list awhile ago.
Well, it only took a tropical storm, food getting stuck in my throat, and a constant headache for me to WAKE up! Take care of this. I worked from home during the storm (Tues.) until the power went out, and within 15 minutes of everything being off the smell became very prominent. I opened up all the windows. Smell gone. My son came by later that evening and hooked up a portable generator for my 2 fridges, and a fan. I also learned that I was capable of going down the shed to retrieve a gas can, fill the thing, pull the handle and re -start. Every 3-4 hours. I went and bought more gas-lugged it there and lugged it home. I couldn't imagine calling my son, or a friend every few hours to do this for me. I just got my power restored late yesterday afternoon. I managed to still sleep ok with the fan and left the windows open last night. I started reading and watching you tubes about this gas. I've called my landlord twice now, and he has yet to return my call. I have a feeling that he is not well. He is stage IV thyroid cancer-who as far as I know is stable, but he's been out of active treatment awhile, so I just don't know. Someone should at least be checking his messages though, right? Anyway, I was speaking to my son today, he has not heard from our LL either. He does little jobs for him sometimes. I informed him of my mission this weekend, and that I'm currently conducting an experiment testing the shower drain today. I have started the process of elimination to find and remedy the cause. This is all I will be doing this weekend. I will call the calvary in if I have to. Not waiting on the landlord. I (or some professional) will find the source and it will be fixed as soon as possible.
What beach cottage?
UGH-hope you all are as well as you can be today!
0 -
ctmbsikia - just a reminder too to check your carbon monoxide detector has new batteries since you're running a gas powered generator occasionally.
Ugh about the sewer gas. Are you on septic or city line? I know when it gets bad it's often time to replace or rotorooter the lines from house to street ... which is an expensive job so landlords prefer to not hear those messages
Yay you for taking charge tho!
0 -
Hugs.
0 -
The landlords girlfriend called me back on his phone-Saturday morning mind you-they were going somewhere together. I do have this pet peeve of 3 way conversations. She informed me that he only checks his voice mail once a week. If I had an emergency just keep calling! Also that I'm not to call anyone else! Are you f'ng kidding me? I had already called our plumber friend. He returned my call but was heading out to his farm in western PA so I did not get into with him since he wasn't local. Anyway, these 2 knuckleheads proceed to diagnose the problem over the phone and she kept cutting me off during this call, so I guess they think I'm stupid. What they really don't know is people who do that, try to talk over you, are the stupid ones. The less I have to deal with these people the better. It is unfortunate that the township in which I reside does not require inspections of rental units. That may change one day in the not to distance future. He is borderline slum lord.
Anyway, after surviving another horrific thunderstorm Friday evening right as I was driving home, after it was all over boom-no power again!!! That made it hard for me to stay asleep that night. Luckily, right as I got up around 5:30am to hook that generator back up, it came back on. I went back to bed and slept 'til 9! I spent the rest of the weekend inspecting things. Found where some water got into the basement. Tried to mow the garden but it was too wet. Went to the store, laundry, you know---I gave the bathroom a rigorous cleaning. I even cleaned the inside of the toilet tank!!! During all this time, no smell. Anyone stopping in to see me, no smell. For now, I am going to chalk it up to conditions. I also don't want to jump up and down too high with the LL as my husband built a little porch like room that's an extension of our garage. He also put up 2 sheds out back that he really didn't have permission to do. If there's a bad pipe in the ground (which I'm hoping is not the case), I'm afraid all of this "stuff" will have to come crashing down to dig up the pipe. Hubs also has a 250 gal. oil storage tank out back so I asked my son to take that thing away as soon as he can. He will be able to use it for diesel storage at his house. He also took his Dad's van to his house. Now, I can work on the junk that is left. Dumpster, that's where it's going! My dryer vent thing fell off the house. I hope I can fix that myself.
Sorry, that's a lot, but still lots to do. I just wrote out a couple of large checks. His credit card and medical bills from Jan, which is deductible. Still need to go to the bank. Found 1 account at another bank with just his name I will have to get to. There's $500. in there, I need it!!! I also thought I read where I may not be able to collect his social security until I'm 60! WTF? That entity is so far down this list to contact--Sigh. Doing OK though. Have my moments. My daughter is at the house for a few days, we had one together last night.
0 -
While I'm on a roll this afternoon, let me further vulgarize all these billings!! Fire Company that came to Dr.s office to pick up hubs TWICE now I have sent my insurance information. For good measure I made a few extra copies of my ID card for future use. If I don't see an EOB come through and you send me a bill, you will be getting back another copy of my ID card. His 4 day hospital stent -there were multiple Dr's walking into that room. The cardio Docs, well, I guess they are not part of Penn? Totally separate bill for that Doc. Sent that bill back with the insurance info. I did a quick look up on line to double check the Penn balance and it just drives me crazy that they are lumping in a co pay of $60. from a May claim in with January claims which were treatments and the deductibles I owe, but they don't carry that balance over to the most recent statement. Therefore, my system of keeping everything in line by date is shot to hell! And let's just tack on that since he went in through the ER there's yet another added co pay to the Critical Care Specialists -who don't bill through the hospital system. At least I was expecting that one since I have gone through this once before back in Oct. I also wrote a check for the balance I owed from Dec. 2017. The amount was correct so I took the pay off option which saves me almost $400. Starting writing out the pay off for the credit card but I just can't. I think I will just send a payment and wait until next month. It' a lot of money going out. By fall I hope this will all be paid and I can figure out a budget for myself.
/end rant
0 -
Yes, it’s a lot. Call your social security office, or check on line about that. You may be entitled.
0 -
I did Spookie. 100% benefit if I collect at full retirement age. Somewhere in the range of 71-99% at age 60. I have a little over 13 months to go, so bottom of the list.
From ssa.gov: https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10084.pdf
Who can get survivors benefits based on your work?
• Your widow or widower may be able to get full benefits at full retirement age. The full retirement age for survivors is age 66 for people born in 1945-1956. And the full retirement age will gradually increase to age 67 for people born in 1962 or later.
Your widow or widower can get reduced benefits as early as age 60. If your surviving spouse is disabled, benefits can begin as early as age 50. For more information on widows, widowers, and other survivors, visit www.socialsecurity.gov/survivorplan.
• Your widow or widower can get benefits at any age if they take care of your child younger than age 16 or disabled, who's receiving Social Security benefits. • Your unmarried children, younger than age 18 (or up to age 19 if they're attending elementary or secondary school full time), can also get benefits. Your children can get benefits at any age if they were disabled before age 22. Under certain circumstances, we can also pay benefits to your stepchildren, grandchildren, stepgrandchildren, or adopted children
0 -
I retired and started collecting at 62. Almost 10 years ago. No way could I have stayed there. With cancer and other “fun" stuff. For me, the $$ difference wasn't going to be that much. So glad I retired. DH is still here, he has extensive bone Mets. So who knows.
0 -
I was only 59 and had to on SSDI and retire since can't work now. It cut our pay tremendously since I was the breadwinner in the house at that time but now we are glad at this point. We just cut back on what we spent and we know how to penny pinch anyway from when we had no money in the early days of our lives and we shared a pack of ramen noodles for supper. We are not that poor at least.
You will be happy in the end.
0 -
We applied for SSDI right after hubs was diagnosed. He had to wait 6 months to get it. Lived long enough to receive 1 check, then I was afraid they would pro rate that check since he died a week or so before the next one was due. Funeral director told me they notify SS of his death and I feel that he did since no more checks came. I also just transferred the remaining balance from his business account to our personal joint account. I cried. I need to get to the bank with a death certificate. They said they can remove his name from our account. That's a help not having to change automatic deposit/withdraws. Some banks make you close the account and open a new one.
Feeling OK now that all that money went out in the mail today even though I was pissed off having to do it. Up, down, up, down. Still can't believe he's gone and I have to do this. If it wasn't for my family, friends, you guys, I don't know how I would do it. We were not rich by any means monetarily, but he had many that loved him. They held a benefit for him, he had some life insurance, so I have the means to survive for awhile and pay these medical bills. Just that little bit is rich to me.
We may have flooding rains again today. I found a PVC pipe and stuck it onto the end of the downspout out back to hopefully drain the water a little further away from the house. This was my brain at 6:30 this morning.
0 -
ctmbsikia, you are about a year younger than I am and being here with you as you go through this--well you are walking a tough, tough path. Continuing to send you love and encouragement from Kansas (did I tell you I grew up in PA? Lived in Bryn Mawr).
0 -
Bryn Mawr -a beautiful suburb of Philly. I am never up that way much now. My daughter used to teach in the city and lived in Manayunk. I live out in Chester county-mushroom farm country. I used to drive to see her right up City Ave until I finally braved 76 out to 476. Love some of the big old homes on Lancaster Ave too. I just don't get that way much anymore.
What took you out to KS? Do you like it? And thank you
0
