STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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I won't wish breast cancer on anyone. I hope she does well with her treatment.
This morning my BS's nurse called to talk to me about my pathology (biopsy results back Friday afternoon, BENIGN.) In truth she didn't know much and I had a bunch of questions. She told me she'd check with the BS and someone would get back to me.
So a little after that, the BS called me herself. (I am a big fan of hers anyway, even more so now!) So she took the few minutes to answer my questions about the report and the follow-up for the next few months. This isn't a proper steam room rant.
Just thought you deserved the rest of the story, though. 0 -
Cancer is the worst all around. Do not want anyone else to suffer if they do not have to. Makes me mad when you can't get your own family to do their screenings for their own good so it is caught early too because they are afraid to get a a mamogram! It is is not that bad and cancer is sure worse!!
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bcincolorado,
Not to mention that bc doesn’t care if you’ve gotten a mammogram or not! If you do indeed have bc, not having a mammo doesn’t make it disappear
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And having a mammo doesn't always find it. I think people forget that and assume de novo patients didn't do their due diligence - which truly pisses me off! (This is expressly NOT directed at anyone in this forum!)
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seeq,
Exactly! I had my suspicious mammogram 13 months after a clear mammo. When my bone met was found a few short weeks after my bmx more than a few folks questioned how diligent I had been in getting mammos. Even my own mother thought this happened because I waited 13 months between mammos.
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Exbrnxgirl - My mammos , including some 3D, were always on schedule and clear. They only found the cancer, because I was diligently chasing some slightly wonky liver enzymes, that I think some would have blown off, especially being "between PCMs". By the time I had a biopsy, I was fully expecting liver cancer (based on liver u/s and MRI), not bc.
Breast imaging center (2 weeks ahead of schedule) did u/s only after requiring a copy of the PET-CT imaging. Only then did they confirm a lump that lit up slightly on PET-CT; it was small, very low against the chest wall in the 6 o'clock position. Even on manual exam, GYN described it as "very subtle". I only successfully found it once or twice.
Mammos help a lot of people, but they aren't the perfect tool most people think they are (as I used to believe, myself). So, I'll join the "Stage IV needs more" corner for Pinktober.
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Normal mammogram in June, Stage III cancer in September. I know it's a reasonably good screening tool, but that's all it is.
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Been pondering Mrs. Desantis all afternoon. She may not want the entire world to know about her breast cancer. It is a personal thing. I sure to do not tell everyone I meet I have one boob now and had one chopped off because of cancer. The whole world now knows about this and she has a long road ahead now. I feel for her in a lot levels right now as a result. She deserves the privacy to make her own decisions about her treatment and her husband needs to not tell everyone.
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It’s all over the state and nation news. She was in tv or some high profile position before marriage. She will be done tx at Moffitt in Tampa.
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sbelizabeth - Thanks for your well worded stmt about "not fighting hard enough". Do peope say this to folks with glioblastomas? Sometimes, no matter how many attempts we make, treatments fail us. I saved your words as they were so concise and truthful.
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selizabeth, I am totally on board with your using “treatment failed" in place of “lost the battle". It puts the blame where it belongs. You're right, no one goes around saying, “poor Paul, he lost the battle against that bus."
I'm sorry this governor's wife received a diagnosis of breast cancer. I wish her well.
What I have a problem with, and it's nothing new, but the issue again is how “celebrity" breast cancer is covered by the media. We will not learn what kind of bc she has or the extent of the treatment she will receive. Once again the general public is left to believe bc is a one size fits all disease.
Some members of this forum have surgery only, no chemo or rads. Some women are triple negative. Some have metastatic bc. And there are more types. The public is never given any context surrounding a celebrity's bc diagnosis, so they don't grasp the complexity of bc. That lends people to make these kinds of assumptions:
“Well, my neighbor's brother's daughter never had chemo after she had bc 10 years ago, and she's still alive. Chemo isn't really necessary and besides, it's poison."
“My uncle's wife had bc and even tho she had chemo and radiation and surgery, she still died of it two years later. Treatment does not work."
“Well, as long as it's caught early, you don't die from bc anymore."
The media dumbs bc down to make it easier for people to digest, like pureeing food for a baby to eat. Make it nice and bland so you don't know what it really is, you only know that it is.
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This place has provided me with so much knowledge on bc. I was one of those people totally oblivious, even after my younger sister was diagnosed stage IV at age 50. Fingers crossed for good/stable scans she has this week, btw. I feel like a real shit sometimes complaining here, yet reading what you all go through is primarily why I'm health anxious around imaging and appointments. As far as celebs w/bc, I'm not sure even they know what we know. Maybe they just show up and do what their team advises them to do? I'm sure most don't though. They learn about their disease. It would be something to see one of them start spewing out their stats during an interview. Unless the reporter was a patient his or herself, they too have no clue. None. Shame.
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Agree. We are all different too even at the same stages in our decisions in our treatment and how our family histories affect them. We can support each though and learn from each other. Those who have not been through this really does not know how life altertering it is and how ongoing the anxiety is for anyone no matter what stage they were in.
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I must be an old grouch. I remember that Fran Drescher had cancer and always seeing the words battle, survivor, fighter, etc. used about her, and how she is a spokesperson and has written a book and articles. So I finally googled her. She had stage 1, grade 2 endometrial cancer, which she always refers to as uterine cancer. Some doctor on her site says they're the same. My doctor who did my hysterectomy said it's endometrial until it breaks through to the uterus. Mine had a small invasion to the uterus, but it never occurred to me to call it uterine except when people don't have a clue what "endometrial" means. Anyway, Fran had surgery (a hysterectomy) and went home. Like me, she had no other treatment. Maybe it's just me, but I just can't call myself a survivor for having an uncomplicated surgery. That hysterectomy wasn't life-threatening and the cancer was early stage. I didn't "survive" a damn thing. Can I say "experiencer" since I experienced cancer and surgery? I didn't fight anything, I didn't battle anything. I mean, good for Fran for talking about it, but I think over-expressing her experience can also scare people when she uses or accepts terms like battle, fight, survivor. There's a fine line between yay, some celebrity is sharing their experience, and boo, they're making it sound worse and more dramatic than it was.
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my mammo never picked up my bc
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Alice, I'm with you because I hate how some really over dramatize their situation. I'm also seeing a lot of drama llamas on social media making their disease sound way worse than it is.
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The biggest one for me was the hoopla Hugh Jackman made when he had a basal cell carcinoma removed from his face. Talk about drama. He was posting about his battle with cancer and how he just wanted to survive.
He finally backed off when thousands of people mocked him on social media for mistaking a glorified skin issue for a life threatening cancer. Wanker.
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My favorite cancer celeb? Suzanne Summers…NOT! She keeps saying she had whole body cancer as well as bc, which was her initial dx. I have no idea what that means but she’s made a pretty penny writing and speaking about it.
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Suzanne Summers is a lunatic. pure and simple.
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and an opportunist!
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Whole body cancer? WTF is that? Shit, maybe that's what I should call all my missing parts! 😆
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My top breast cancer drama queen is Sandra Lee. She has created an industry out of her "breast cancer journey". She had DCIS, a BMX and reconstruction issues.
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I'm wanting to respond here but don't even know where to start...
"Whole body cancer" is one I hadn't heard of before. Beesie, I had heard about Sandra Lee, but didn't know her details.
I think what I hate the most, is that they survive or fight or struggle or whatever and minimize what others are going through. Sheesh! If someone told me to keep fighting just like Sandra Lee, Suzanne Somers or whoever did, they'd probably get an earful from me.
I'm not discounting anyone's experience with cancer (OK, maybe I am), but drama queens really annoy me and I just want to roll my eyes.
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Even though I get mad sometimes about things I am not not a drama person at all. In fact because of the medical stuff we've been through the doctors think we should be put in a rubber room sometimes because we are NOT freaking out about stuff when they think we should be.
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Someone I know who got bc about the same time as me documented everything on their facebook including "another step in my journey, my first haircut after chemo" Really?
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oh the first haircut after chemo is big for many - I remember mine in 2018 went badly & I posted about it here. I think for many it's the first step of feeling like things are going back to normal. My cancer was having a laugh probably, given that I'd soon get mets & will probably die bald but at the time, it seemed like turning the corner, closing a chapter...
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My other gripe about celebrity cancer stories is the media pumps them up to inspire other women, yet many celebrities live much more comfortable lives than the average person. Tom Hanks’ wife Rita Wilson, likable enough. She had LCIS and underwent a double mastectomy. I read how she went on about how hard her coworker was taking the news of Rita’s bc dx. Rita had to reassure him she would be just fine. With her wealth and connections, she surely would have been able to hire a housekeeper, chef, health care aide, even a driver to get her back and forth to work. And had excellent health insurance and some star treatment. The same with Joan Lunden whom I never particularly cared for. She wrote a book one year after treatment for bc. One year. I guess that’s possible when you are wealthy and have a staff of people doing the mundane everyday chores like cooking and cleaning while you churn out your manuscript. The thing is, how do you even have any perspective on things one year after dx.
Then there’s Shannen Daugherty. She was all in the news when she was dx with bc because she had no health insurance. She claimed her business manager was responsible for a lapse in her coverage so treatment for bc was delayed and she’s blaming her dx of mbc on that. So as a celebrity, she didn’t even think to bother about if she had health i surance, she figured someone else was taking care of it. I guess at the first of the year she didn’t think to ask about a new medical card. Anyway, she sued the manager for millions and won an undisclosed settlement.
I don’t wish bc woes on celebrities, but I read between the lines and can see behind the scenes how their lives often have quite a few more perks than those of us in the general population. So let’s get real about it.
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My SIL is having a hell of her time with her hair...falling out and then had a reaction to covid, chemo or some damn thing. Now she has scabs all over her head along with hair loss. Fing cancer sucks!!! My old boss is having one reaction after another from chemo, infection at his surgical site or the antibiotics he was on. I'm sorry if this post sucks... every time I look out my kitchen window I see the fire hall next to me has posted their usual bc neon sign with the ribbon and all. Really don't need that. Cancer is all around me just don't need to be reminded.
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DivineMrsM, I agree that celebs have tremendous advantages compared to the average patient when it comes to access to the best doctors and to help & support as they go through treatment. It would be nice if celebs who speak out about their experience used their platform to educate about breast cancer but too often what they say is misleading or just factually wrong. From a career standpoint, it's to their benefit to say that they are cured and to never mention the undesirable side effects of any continuing treatments. And too often, it seems that celebs who speak out see their diagnosis as a line on their résumé, something that they can talk about almost as an achievement.
That said, when I was diagnosed the first time, it was not long after 2 media celebrities here in Canada were diagnosed. I saw both of them over the course of my treatment, waiting for their appointments in crowded waiting rooms, just like everyone. One, a doctor who was a regular on a morning t.v. show and who did medical segments on the evening news, had done a t.v. segment on her diagnosis so I knew we had the same breast surgeon. I found out that we had the same PS one day when I had the appointment right after hers. In Canada, universal healthcare is the great equalizer. Celebs might have more resources and help, but we all have access to the same doctors at the same hospitals, and there's no special treatment or luxury hospital suites.
As an FYI, Rita Wilson did have LCIS, but she monitored it for years and then developed ILC. That's when it came out that she had breast cancer and that's when she had the BMX.
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These Stars Faced Breast Cancer and Shared Their Inspiring Stories to Help Others
Funny how not one of these women mention the on-going challenges with Tamoxifen and AIs, or long-term side effects from treatment. And isn't it wonderful that so many of these women are "cancer-free"? (Insert eye roll here.)
Some of the messages are good, but some are cringe-worthy. While I support the first part of Sheryl Crow's statement, the second part of her statement is the worst one:
"These days she is a huge advocate for early screening, recently speaking out to encourage women to get mammograms rather than put them off in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. "I'm encouraging women to not let that yearly appointment go by because it can mean a huge difference in the kind of diagnosis you receive, if you are diagnosed with breast cancer," . "We have a cure — early detection — and it's our greatest weapon.""
Yes, early detection is definitely better than the alternative, but to say that it's a cure... this is how misconceptions about breast cancer get formed.
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