STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
Comments
-
Divine: Love your comment about the contraceptives ad reality based woman. So true and that alone would be enough to convince women to use them, especially the guy in his man cave playing video games while she attempts to make dinner with the kids hanging on to her or wailing in another room. Visual was great.
0 -
this conversation reminds me of Free to be You and Me, the commercial story w Carol Channing
Man I LOVED this album!
0 -
Had to laugh at this one! It is so much easier with help.
0 -
Apparently I have a uti. And now I have a headache! Doctors office called in a script for 7 days and I can drop off another sample when I'm done. I'm scheduled for an upper endoscopy on the 25th, I don't think this will affect that? Am I not emptying my bladder enough? Am I lacking in self care? Just getting old? I know some women seem to get them more regularly than others. I have only had 1 that I know of. I was 40 at the time, didn't know what it was, and I did end up going to the ER with that one I was pretty sick. This one must have just started because I have no symptoms.
Happy Valentine's Day!
0 -
ctmbiskia I am so sorry you are going through this. You might want to read up on them on the NIH website and there is a ton of information in there about UTIs. Here is the link. https://medlineplus.gov/urinarytractinfections.html
0 -
Before breast cancer, I had one urinary tract infection in my whole life. ONE.
Now? Because I've been on an aromatase inhibitor for almost ten years, my lady bits think they're a hundred years old, and this means frequent UTIs. Every time I ride my mountain bike I get a UTI, and finally my urologist said, either use vaginal estrogen cream or take an antibiotic capsule every time you ride. My oncologist nixed the estrogen cream so now I take a single dose of antibiotic after each ride.
Sorry, ctmbsikia, I wish I had better news. I don't think it'll affect your scheduled endoscopy.
0 -
Thank you both. I was just totally caught off guard. When I really think about it though, there were a couple of times I smelled or felt something in the past week. Going forward I will try to do better to pay attention to those things. I am actually lucky this infection seems to have just started and coincided with a regular check up. It will get nipped in the bud pretty quick. They can be sneaky.
0 -
ctm, yuck! I'm so sorry. I hope you get it resolved ASAP. UTIs are miserable!
sb, how interesting that mountain biking would lead to a UTI, but it makes sense when you think about it. A long time ago my PCP recommended estrogen cream, but my MO nixed that idea, too. I haven't had a UTI in forever, thankfully. I remember getting one when we were traveling in Germany. How DOES one say bladder infection in German? (This was way before mobile devices with translators.) I went into a pharmacy and somehow got my point across to the woman pharmacist. She was super nice and helpful. She gave me an herb called bear grape leaf extract. She said that if it didn't work, I'd need to get a prescription. Wonder of wonders - IT WORKED!!! Of course, I couldn't find that same thing here in the states, but I did find something similar. It didn't work quite as well, but it helped.
0 -
Sunshine99 - I just googled bear grape leaf extract and there is info about it and it is available!!
0 -
Jelson, good to know. As far as I'm concerned, it was a miracle worker!
0 -
I’m so pissed that cancer still occupies so much of my time and my life
0 -
Divine, a birth control ad like this?
0 -
Pretty funny.
NotascalmAsILook yes, it does occupy your life but sometimes after afterwhile you can sort of try to ignore it a little a bit sometimes or count "no scan again for 6 months" as a good thing. It is still there though no matter what. I am always known as a "cancer patient" and they read all my scans right way at least and tell me before I leave now. The non cancer people just get routine scanning and go home and wait for results.
0 -
I also don't like (well actually I'm mad as hell!) that my health takes up so much of my time. Without you guys, I'd certainly be in therapy. Over these last couple of years I feel the anxiety has calmed down quite a bit. I've used the "it could be much worse, just shut up" and the "it's just a routine maintenance check up" instead of feeling like I'm just failing tests. Like this past urine test. Instead of feeling like I failed, I considered myself lucky that it was caught. I've been feeling a little weird these past couple of days, but today is better. Probably the anti biotic doing battle.
In my spare time I started updating the family medical shared spreadsheet. My daughter has a sheet for everything. I thought it'd be nice to use it again in case she ever needs anything it's right where she would want it. She is taking me next week for my endoscopy. She is 35 and going for her 1st mammogram that morning before we leave. I'm due for a MRI too, but I'm not worrying about it right now, or scheduling it until after I get through next week. One thing at a time. Sincerely grateful for this space to let it out. <<<<cyber scream!>>>>
0 -
ctm, I'm a spreadsheet person, too. It's one of things I can control: Put numbers into neat little boxes (cells) and then track them. It's probably why I like binders and organizers. Again - the control. The Container Store is my happy place. DH - not so much, although I've never taken him there. I think he'd be bored.
Good luck with your upcoming appointments as well as your DD's first mammogram.
Carol
0 -
ctmbsikia, please don't think of medical tests as something you fail, like you had some control over the outcome! How about looking at it like the test worked, because it caught whatever was going on and you can move forward with healing?
And that's my optimistic advice from a back-sliding pessimist.
0 -
I am more of a put in a folder person. The kids know where it is all is and we tell them what is going on since they are grown at this point. DH parents hid stuff from us a lot of times and we would find out whenever we went to visit (we did not leave near by since DH was in the miliary and we would visit on leave). We would see things and medicines and then write them down and look them up and figure out what was going on with them really. They often did not want to tell us so we "did not worry" but we tried to explain we worry more when we do not know what is going on with them. One reason we are honest with our kids so they know. They know where our stuff is and we are doling out our stuff little by little already to them already it seems. Will make it easier. for them when the time comes.
0 -
I'm also trying to get my "stuff" together to make it pretty seamless when my time comes. Just got off the phone with my bank. I made an appointment to go in and have my kids put as "payable upon death" on my bank accounts. Even though I have a will, all they would have to do is present a death certificate and they can have access to the money. Should be quicker. The lady I was speaking with was insisting that my husband's name was still on the accounts and that he would have to be removed first. Um, I did this in 2020. It steams me to find out almost 2 years later somebody didn't do their job. They do have his death certificate but the incompetent soul that I was dealing with just filed it and never did anything else-LIKE REMOVE HIS NAME!!! Good Lord! The lady is putting in the request today. Can you imagine? She said it should be done by the appointment time next week, but she made sure to mention the bank has a holiday on Monday!
0 -
It is a pain I know no matter what. When my father in law passed (last one) DH was executor and had to deal with it all and had so much drama at the bank. It was like no matter what they did not want to hand over the money and acted like it was theirs alone. He had to go the manager. He had the death certificate with him and the will and all the paperwork had been already filed before attempting to go to the bank. Greed. Made us feel like we would never want to bank with that bank ever.
0 -
Miriandra, hahahahaha! Perfect picture! Lol!
0 -
all this dealing with banks has me thinking. Right before pandemic, before my diagnosis, I was going to travel to parents to visit but also to go over paperwork. I am oldest kid, but also I have siblings who all speak with me but not all the time to eachother. Now my parents are 2 years older, ei very elderly, and I have stage 4 cancer. So much to think about....
0 -
I do remember dealing with bank stuff a year after my husband died. I thought everything was taken care of until I got his new debit card in the mail. It is done now. I am working on getting my kids access to all of my stuff so they won't have any problems when I am no longer here.
0 -
We still laugh since we get mail from my deceased in laws saying they are "pre-approved" for credit or life insurance. Then there are the many Medicare plan letters that come for them saying how they can change their plans. They used military health system. We shred it all.
It is hard when there are siblings who do not speak and live in other places. A dear friend lived here and his oldest sister lived in another town several miles away and was executor. She pretty much ordered them to do everything since they lived here and she made all the decisions and wanted them to do the work on the house before they sold it. There were 4 siblings. Now no one speaks to anyone at this point. Sad.
My DH grandma put in her will that if anyone complained about anything they were cut off. She was wealthy. It did save a lot of arguments that way.
I have a boy and girl and handing off some things I think my daughter should have or may want if she wants them now and letting her have them. They live in another State and she is our executor and our son lives here. I could see him getting in there then there could be issues afterwards. I know DH has given him some tools and things already he needs and he will no longer use.
My Dad has done the same thing and is sending me stuff already.
0 -
When DH passed last year he left me with a mess. Stuff in his name only. The mortgage. My car, that I made the payment on. His business check account. I went to his bank with his death certificate and they wouldn’t give me the $. Told me it had to go through probate, but I could do that myself. Um, with Covid, my age, and a short fuse, I called my lawyer. In addition to all the other crap, like a leaky roof, a/c needed replaced, Social Security, the lawyer was a sanity saver. There was more, it was a blur.
DD will get it all, her DH is a nurse, so won’t want many tools. He’s already got most of what he wants. Anything left will go to Habitat for Humanity resale store. DH was a carpenter and had lots of tools.
Really a good idea to do at least the legal stuff now. Give away the “things” you know they’d like to have now.
0 -
After handling the estate for my DF and filing numerous papers to have policies transferred to my DM, I learned years later that some had not been transferred even though I had filed the correct forms with death certificates. Fortunately I was able to find the right people who corrected this for me after my mother's death. Being the executor of a parent's will is a thankless and time consuming job especially when I live in the neighboring state. My DM went to live with my youngest brother several years before she died and became quite hostile towards me (for no known reason nor transgression) so imagine my surprise when I learned I was still the executor of her estate. While she had kept good records on her annuities and we had previously established beneficiaries for most, there were several she had not done. This presented all sorts of problems to establish beneficiary status and I can attest that many of these companies do not offer any assistance but a lot of runarounds. I spent my days off on the phone contacting these companies trying to find out what they needed, getting their mandatory forms for completion, getting some of them notarized, combining her bank accounts (had to get an EIN number to do that), fighting to get back money the bank had deducted in fees despite the fact that she had sufficient funds in the account, and then discovering that my DB who was handling her money forgot to pay two semiannual payments on a small insurance policy that they then refused to pay on her death. It wasn't enough to hire a lawyer to fight but it was her money and they had no regrets in stealing it. This was no picnic to execute and let me tell you of my 3 brothers, only one offered to assist me; the other 2 just wanted their money. Because this happened during Covid and many government offices were closed, it took even longer to accomplish. So my recommendation for your loved ones would be to make sure you have established beneficiaries for all annuities, have someone who has access to the bank accounts so money needed for the funeral is readily available, make sure your insurance policies are paid up to date, have a DPA for finances as well as healthcare decisions, an up to date will, use legal counsel to determine state taxes since the penalties can be high if there are filing errors (lawyer fee was deductible from IRS so worth it), use an accountant for filing any IRS taxes (this woman saved the estate several hundred dollars which was more than her fee), and leave a written document that lists all your annuities, bank account info, copy of the will and power of attorney as well as your funeral wishes. Handling my DF's estate was easier by far than my DM's and for all the work I did, I did take the full amount permitted by law for being the executor. I had considered not doing this but the lack of assistance from those that benefitted (I did send my assisting DB a check in addition to his share of the estate), convinced me that I had well earned it after sacrificing my days off to settle the estate.
0 -
I'm reading many complaints in this "steamroom for anger" about dealing with estates of deceased family members. Words such as insurance, bank, annuity, investment, cash are referred to in the plural. Can't imagine how you'd "steam" if the funeral expenses went on your own credit card, not to mention cover final month's living expenses. So that's my rant.
0 -
I also had a problem when my Mom died. I sent a letter and a copy of the DC to hospital and said when estate was settled, I would pay the bill. A few months later they called and said they were sending her to collections. Pretty sure she wasn't worried about her credit rating. Being an executor is a big pain. Even when there is not much left to distribute. My SIL passed in December and my brother has had a horrible time getting info on her car loan. He wants to pay it off, in order to sell it but because the loan is in her name no one wants to give him the balance. You would think people would be more understanding...you are grieving and have to deal with all this other BS. We put our house in the kids names a few years ago, hopefully when we are gone this will make things easier.
0 -
We had pre paid cremation many years ago, so that really helped. Before he died, there was a small discussion on burial. Where did he want. What a rip off. Thousands for a tiny piece of ground. But I had 2 plots next to my parents, bought and paid for 90 years ago. By my grandparents. So that’s where he went. And I guess that’s wI’ll go.
0 -
I am thinking we should prepay for cremation too. We have done it for my MIL who is still going strong (kinda) at 93. That way the kids don't have to think about it. We are not old, old but husband has had one heart attack (major) and I have cancer. So maybe we should take care of that.
You know how people talk about finding dimes after a loved one passes away? I found a dime in my vacume, my sister found one on her seat at a play and my niece had one in her chicken finger basket when we were out to eat last friday. My SIL hated cleaning, she loved going where my sister was at to see a play, and we bowl every other friday where we ate last week. Could be wishful thinking but I believe there is an afterlife. Made me feel better anyway.
Mammo and US on Monday. Hoping for probably benign.
0 -
Before my first dx, I’d find pennies. Everywhere. By my car door when I came back to it. I know they weren’t there when I got out. I was putting off getting the fateful mamo, and I think now it was my dad telling me to do it. Haven’t seen a lost penny in 2 years. Hope I never do again.
0
