CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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My friend Laura from Breast Cancer Support group took me yesterday a.m to have my nipple surgery. She has IBC and that is a horrible aggressive form of BC. She has lost her hair from Chemo. I was apparently in shock after surgery and stayed busy all day and night. This morning I could not wake up. My boyfriend texted. I texted back then went right back to sleep. Then the Fed Ex man banged on the door at 12:30 and I made myself jump up and sign for the package. I suspect the need for some to leave this group or having to skip posts is me. My intuitive self tells me that so I will leave. I belong to a Cancers Writers group. When I found out I was NED in July I was so excited I bought a cake at the bakery and brought it to the Writers group. This one gal from group that I saw in the bathroom before group started.... I opened the door for her before we went into group. She didn't say Thankyou. Just a tiff or a feminine huff noise. Then during group she presented a problem and I offered a kind and sensitive possible solution. She went off on me and humiliated me. The psychologist who runs the group said that I was not at fault. She explained why people do that. Anyway I will leave this thread. I tortured myself for a week before the Writers Group psychologist explained it was not my fault. I have support groups and a therapist and a psychiatrist. I can join other threads on BC. I would apologize if I felt I did anything wrong but I haven't. I have had the serious Crazies and thought this thread would help. I have a stack of poetry I want to make a book from, alongside, plenty of paints and canvas. I want to paint what this BC nightmare has been like for me. I also have my Tribe that loves me. Mainly folks on Tribal Council that care. My mom was Tribal Council for years and travelled nationwide to Indian Country helping. My point being I am not angry at the people that
do not like my posts nor do I blame myself.
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Bcky- I am speaking for myself only.
I have no reason to believe you had anything to do with the recent drama, I am very sorry that the timing of your visits here made it seem so. I have sent you a pm.
There was a very unusual behind the scenes problem that the mods are handling. I am so sorry that at a time like this, going into a surgery, that you were made to feel unwelcome, in all places, here. I am sorry.
I am very grateful that you have reliable, dependable loving support in your life. Had you had only us to rely on it would be even sadder.
Being on a public board like this requires trust. When your trust is violated, I know it's hard to earn it back.
I am, again, very sorry.
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Jackbirdie this is such an emotionally taxing terrible hideous disease I think that whatever was going on needed to stay off the thread. Thank you for your apology. Your a sweet lady.
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Thank you Tomboy and Slow and everyone else involved in handling the issues on this thread, whatever they are, and keeping it a safe place.
Speaking of pockets, you crazies are in mine today. I had my 3month follow up chest wall MRI today. It's a call back from a regular breast MRI scan I had 3 months ago. They saw something, but didn't know what it was. Birads 2 but still have to follow up and give it a closer look. The chest wall of my good breast where I had a lift and a core needle biopsy last year.
I seem to get callbacks EVERY TIME on my breast scans since BC treatment. These callbacks increase the number of tests, adds more agony of waiting, thus increases my stress and makes it harder to put it behind me.
I don't hear results till Thurs, I hate waiting for and the moment of getting results and if they're bad I'll hate that the most. Of course I'm scared to death the cancer's back. I'm so damned tired of this process. I have no symptoms, my hair is back, I look normal, I'm doing yoga, but C is sneaky. I'm praying it's B9. If it is, I'm thinking of refusing more breast scans. Or at least just once a year or every other year. I just can't take this.
Octo, I hear ya on the wanting to just cry. You've been through so much. I think it's healthy to let it out.
Time to watch episode 2 of last season of Downton.
Thanks for being there.
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Slow....in your pocket tomorrow! (((hugs))).
Octogirl
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Yes, Slow, in your pocket for tomorrow.
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Momwriterthat waiting must be torture. Slow, I am in your pocket too. I have been praying for you.
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Are you supposed to leave crazy town if you are not having tests? I am only two weeks past the 80 appointments I had between May and December and I feel just as crazy! In a way it feels like all the cancer stuff was years ago, in a way it seems harder after treatment.... Today reading about Hollys death, my sister in laws surgery for breast cancer was this morning, my step mother in law had BC surgery last week and a cousin is scheduled for next week!! Plus no breasts is a constant reminder. It almost seems like it's catchy in our family right now.
Sorry, I'm usually joking. People still bring up things I said. Like pulling out of the driveway to go to dinner and realizing my breast was still in the coffee table! (After first mastectomy and it was too sore to keep them on all the time) I heard one of the guys at church was retelling that at choir practice!
I posted a photo of the Grinch and said I looked like that in a sweater except my arms were fatter. 😜
When someone asked how I felt the day after 2nd mastectomy surgery I said : It feels like someone made me bench press weights all night, then beat me up and stole my cleavage!
Question: how much do you all tell about your diagnosis, treatments and life with or after cancer?? I tell everything...at times I wondered if it was too much info but I have had several people say how much it has helped them, especially the three that found out they had cancer a month or two after mine. I know this is long, but no one else is awake and I keep playing all this over in my mind.
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I have been somewhat open about it all. There are a few things that I was only able to share here on BCO.
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Slow,
I'm squeezing into your pocket too for tomorrow...with all of us in there you'll have a full house! So all of us koalas are there for you.
Anyway, thinking of you too Mommy...
Husband is in perfect health, at least one of us is.... And here is today's food porn... Vegan macarons
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We are gonna need an Empire State Pocket for all of us, for
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Iris, that's good that PT has helped so much. I would get the second opinion too - I got a lot of benefit from my second opinions on my cancer treatment, even though they recommended the same things as the first docs. It helped me understand more and feel more comfortable with what we were doing.
Mommy, sorry about the family drama. We've had some similar issues in my family lately, too.
Pennsygal, in your pocket tomorrow for a good report! Hopefully your visit will be as uneventful as mine was.
Rainny, the stuffed eggplant sounds good, even if it is complicated.
Ducky, we will get out the heating pad for your post-dancing aches and pains! Hopefully those EMTs will be good looking, right?
Kitty, sorry to hear you have another person in your circle with breast cancer. I hope her lumpectomy goes fine and your shots go well.
Slow may have to take us all in a tote bag - there will be a lot of us!
Bcky, I hope your nipple surgery went well. Is that your final procedure for your reconstruction? I hope your friend is doing well on her treatments.
Momwriter, I knew you were going in the same day as my MO appointment, I didn't realize you'd have to wait until Thursday for results. You'd think they could read the darn thing sooner. Crossing my fingers for benign results.
Marie, I told people I look like the Grinch, too! You know how he sort of gets wider at the bottom? I think I have told people anything they asked about. I don't go around telling people stuff without prompting, that seems a little odd to me, but I've been pretty frank about any details people asked about (what's the post-op experience like, how does the surgery work, what treatment I'm getting, why, and how does it work). I figure I can help educate people, and with a BMX, it's not like everybody doesn't know my diagnosis anyway. I was a D cup before, there wasn't any hiding the change!
Waving at Sula, Robin, and the rest of the crazies!
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Slow.. Holding your hand ( Hugs) xx
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As hard as I try to avoid the drama in the family, somehow it finds me!
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Slow...great big hug and I'm in your pocket too.
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Slow, in your pocket... looks like you'll need a big tote bag for all of us...
Hugs to all of you crazies out here! Had Herceptin infusion on Monday and it's wearing me out... I hate these first few days of the infusion... gonna sign my kids up for thier co-op classes and go back to bed, hopefully....
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Marie never fear--tests upcoming is certainly one of the primary reasons we end up in CrazyTown, but you're welcome to stay as long (or as short) a time thereafter as you feel the need.
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Slow, gentle hugs for you today!
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Marie............stay as long as you need too..........some of us are "Lifers"..........we make friends, and decide to stay......it's not about the "tests, surgery, treatment, Meds,.........it's about the "friendships"..........our soft place to fall when no one is listening.
Remembers...in the beginning "everyone" is usually ther for you......family, friends, etc......(most of the time)........but as time goes on...and treatments are over, and you look like you feel ok, those same people can leave you thinking to themselves....."she looks and seems great".......................why!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......because that is the "face" you put on.................but deep inside your not emotionally better...................
That is where we come in..........we know, we understand, we have been through it.......who better to talk to, that will listen to you when many have already decided "you don't need them anymore"...................we are here......all hoursof the day and night................not only round the country, but around the world...............
So my advice..........stay if you want.........leave if you choose.........but there will always be a "soft place" to fall.........here in Crazytown.....love and hugs.
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Sula...happy for your husband's great health. Can you believe I've never tasted a macaroon? You make them look great!!
Mommy...I understand. Now I'm the bad guy today because my brother has no heat in the house...coldest day of the year. It's not my fault...if he wants to live like a drug addict I will not enable him. My sisters think my hubby and I have money...NOT...Like you the family drama follows me.
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So true Ducky! You gals have been there for me since I joined this site. You've seen me through my frustrations and victories! I am blessed to have you all!
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Shorfi............yes here in Philly (area) it is a bit "nippy" out there.................good homemade soup day with a couple macaroons to follow...........
My grandaughter made those as part of her Xmas cookies......first time...they were excellent......my daughter gave me several on a tray............it was Xmas eve and the entire gang was here...................THEY LEFT ME 1 DAMN MACAROON.....on the tray...........LOL......so good.....0 -
Ducky...it is indeed nippy this morning. Hoping my hubby will make some homemade chicken soup today.
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I made homemade "beef soup" yesterday ........it is a great Italian recipe I got from my MIL......she as a good cook..........so easy, and delish........
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soup day in nj here as well, thinking on what type
Sitting here waiting on junk man to pick up broken couch
Need to pay for picky and trash removal but new one will be nice and first giffor me in some time
Pocket hanging and strong thoughts for slow and all others today, will hold on soup treat for all feeling of need
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Wanted to share....just got this from my grandaughter..........he looks so much older in this picture.
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duckyb, that's a perfect little face.
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((Slow))
Rainny.. I'd much prefer Hugh Jackman to any koala or kangaroo too :-) Not only is he gorgeous looking, he always seems such a gentleman and lovely bloke in interviews. Yeah... If I was single he'd be welcome to keep his shoes under my bed 😃
Shorfi.. I loved the story about your mum.. So glad she wanted you to have the car.
Ducky.. What a beautiful, beautiful photo.! What is the recipe for your soup.?
Katy..Loved the video at the beach!
PTS. Enjoy your new couch!
I made it through the root canal.!! Well.. The first part anyway.. Because I have infection the dentist wants to wait 4 more months to do the next step .
Love to all xx
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Lucy.......yes he is my little love.........and UGH the root canal............you just want to get it over with, right...........
Will PM you with the recipe ;so I don't bore the other ladies...........
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Ducky is that Bobby? He is too precious and cute!!!
Lucy...Thank you...had a root canal and I think the worse part is keeping your mouth open for so long. Glad that part i over for you...take care.
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