CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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Gala, no way to understand really, I ate pretty dang good before all this crap but got more healthy in eating after all the crud
does it help? I now I feel better when I eat healthy and like not when I do not so ??
tonight was a cute little chicken thigh, roasted with a half of a cabbage and a bunch of cherry tomatoes and onions, did I do good?
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Jackbirdie,
YesI do make my own artisanal bread
And.... I will include the cookie recipe as soon as I make them
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we officially need a crazy town summit
just sayin'
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Gaia,
That produce and the food look lovely.,I have always had a bad habit of reading my reports myself.....I don't do that anymore until I've put a little distance between me and them. I really do believe that your "pure" system will rect very well to herceptin etc...Dr Esserman at UCSF ( my doc) tried to get me into a trial there but they didn't want me as I have had cancer before and so was not sufficiently "pure" purity has it's advantages when it comes to BC.
Welcome Penny's,
You've found a great room here, lots a crazy!!!
Proud,
Yes, the PT can be a big help. Hope it clears stuff up for you
Slow,
Yay for the anus!!!
And Tomboy,
I wish you could have been at the feast but I would never let a guest have to do the dishes. One of the ladies from these boards is coming to dinner at our place next month... Hope my dishwasher is functioning by then. Actually the Bosch guy is coming on Thursday so paper plates till then!!! I have a very professional kitchen and all this stuff is new and supposed to work , I'm not supposed to have to!!!
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Thank you Slow and Katy - please, snicker away. MRIs are probably better with snickering.
Thinking of you Gaia - the photos are lovely.
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and huge congrats to you Pennsygal!
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Gorgeous food, all!
Gaia, I also read my PET scan at home, but I misinterpreted it and convinced myself I had brain mets. For what it's worth, Herceptin/Perjeta/Taxol have been doing a number on my various lumps. I hope you'll get the same response!
I love artisanal bread. I also bake bread, usually once or twice a week except during July and August. My DH is from the midwest and grew up having bread at every meal. He has an endless appetite for carbs and a metabolism that lets him eat them and retain his boyish figure (more or less) at the age of 60. I started baking bread 13 or 14 years ago so as not to have to keep buying it at the rate of two-three loaves/week. I stop during the summer; it's just too hot in our tiny kitchen to keep the oven on for too long. I miss it now; this year I stopped baking in June due to BC diagnosis, start of chemo, and general angst. But certainly will start again next month.
Proud, you did good. A cute thigh?
No special artistry for tonight's dinner. I'm on a mission to clean out the freezer; pulled out some pork dumplings that DS had brought home from Chinatown a few months ago and forgotten about. Boiled 'em and sautéed a zucchini, some garlic, tomato, a little corn to go with. Perfectly fine.
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I will catch up later....
In the meantime I want to welcome Sapphire to our thread!! Also, welcome to BCO!! You've picked a great site for support. I'm glad you found our thread!!
Also, In your pocket tomorrow Sula!!! Hope you get great results on your MUGA!!!
Thinking of you Lucy!!
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Sula- as I've said before, your food is art to me. Thinking of you tomorrow.
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Crazytown Bigtop Summit Theme Song
I was thinking how wonderful it would be to have a big top summit too, Gaia! I don't travel much anymore, except in my own mind though, haha.
So often my life seems to reflect the above music.
Submitting this to the "committee" for official Crazytown theme song status.
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Jackiebird, I Second the nomination for the big top theme song.
I hope we get awarded frequent flyer miles for all those mind trips we make.
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Thanks Rose! In my mind, I always get the "upgrade" haha.
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welcome sapphire!! Welcome to Crazy Town!
Jacki,
Yes for the theme song!!! I always travel in my mind as I hate flying and I'm certainly not going anywhere with this port in my chest. I don 't want any hassles with the TSA between that and my stick on foobs.
Slow, and everyone thanks for the good wishes for tomorrow I've got a box of 30 Mexican wedding cookies I'm sure no ones brought food into the MUGA room before.
Well, I've got an early call tomorrow and a long drive so catch you all later
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Good luck with the MUGA, Sula. Hope they love the cookies--and would that influence the test results?
Love the idea of frequent flier miles for mind trips. I wonder--what would constitute an upgrade? A higher quality of sensory experience? Or?
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Boo 5:14 am and still awake convinced that my scan is going to light up. Supposed to make jam for wedding favors today for a cousin. Le sigh. So tired. Silly back pain won't let me get comfortable and I ve done my insomnia yoga poses 3 times already. Phone call for ativan refill must happen today! !!
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Clarnn- good idea on the refill. But kudos for trying with the yoga poses first. In the dark of night it is tough to navigate and avoid the feeder roads into Crazytown. I hope the jam-making (which I wish I was there to help and enjoy with) does not cause further discomfort, and instead somehow miraculously distracts you.
Rainny- to me a mind travel upgrade is any trip that does not fly over Crazytown airspace. As if it didn't exist. I think of it as a mental Devil's Triangle. Or roach motel. I might never be seen again!
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In the dark of night many roads lead to C-town. I picture it like a roadmap in a Dr. Seuss book, with oddly tufted (that's us, right?) characters spinning along maze-like paths that lead to spiraling structures and trees.
So then, Katy, maybe the upgrade is flying high above this, avoiding the paths below? Interesting image!
Through a friend, I have an advance copy of Elizabeth Gilbert's new book, which is coming out next month and is called Big Magic. I have to say I was not a huge fan of Eat Pray Love (except the love chapter, which was tons o' fun), but I find myself reading this one in light of BC diagnosis and finding it quite relevant. Her topic is remaining creative whatever the distractions life hands you. Subtopic is, basically, don't whine and make excuses. I see the logic here in the stories on these boards: women who keep exercising, cooking, raising kids, traveling, working no matter the pain/discomfort/uncertainty about the future. Anyway, it's worth a read; she's a somewhat disjointed writer, but energetic and entertaining.
Taking, somewhat nervously, Harper Lee's new (or old) book when we go camping next week.
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Rainny- for camping, if there was any way I could get you my copy of Barbara Kingsolver's Prodigal Summer, I would do it. Hands down over any other book. For being in nature especially. Her prose is sometimes so beautiful, so stunning, I sometimes just have to put the book down. It stops me in my tracks.
I can think if no other description than prose porn. Have you got a used bookstore in your nabe? It's a big thick book, but truly astonishing.
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I mostly liked Eat, Pray, Love, but HATED (as so often I do with book adaptations) the movie. I know Sula and company would have done much better. It wasn't just the script. The acting, the casting...oi. I will watch for Big Magic. Always glad to get a personal recommendation from someone smart and snappy like you. 😁
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Katy, I'm a heavy library user. That's where I get many of my books. I'll take a look. I loved Kingsolver's Animal Vegetable Miracle. At this point, I'm taking, aside from the Harper Lee novel, a new anthology of Shirley Jackson's writings, Bel Canto by Ann Patchett, a book about the American Revolution, and possibly Hilary Mantel's Bring Up The Bodies. And a couple of cheesy mysteries--Harlan Coben, Laura Lippman.
Here's the thing: I'm not going swimming in the lake, because I refuse to swim bald or even with a swim cap. We'll do some hiking and canoeing, but I'll encourage DH and DS to go off on their own if I'm not up to a huge hike. So it's imperative that I have reading material.
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Likewise! I'll look for the Kingsolver.
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Out of that whole list I've only read Bel Canto. A bit of a classic, and of course loosely based, actually not so loose on actual events in Peru, I think. Good book! Now I'll take your list and add it to mine.
If it got hot enough, I would swim with no cap. I would consider it. Even if you wore a wig or scarf you could wade in quite a ways and cool off. I hate being hit more than bald. Seriously...
But an army if good books to choose from is a best friend for sure.
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Rainny- if you do find it, let me know when you've read pages 202-203.
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OK,Katy, now you've got my curiousity up!
Thinking of you Beppy.
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my dearest crazies. Just got airdropped like a crate of supplies into CTown. Short version is:
1) confirmed truncal LE. Worse, she told me I need to see my shrink much more often because in all her years in practice she's never seen a worse surgical outcome and no wonder I can't touch myself or even look at myself. And I need to to be compliant with scar mgmt and manual lymph drainage.
2) then she said my "emotional state" whatever the FUCK that means could be contributing to my pain. Whivh is why I need to see my shrink A LOT more. WTF?
I sat in the hospital parking lot for an hour crying. I'm driving home now, but stopping to get ahold of myself about every 2 miles. Hoping to be home for dinner.
I thought I was doing ok. But it is the truth about my body. It's an ugly horrific mess and I need to be able to do manual lymph drainage. I have to be able to look at myself. I have to stop thinking I'm an ogre.
Oops. Crying again. My shrink is on vaca. My bestie unavailable. Next best thing- bread. Went to my favorite bakery. Thought I was ok to go in. I wasn't. Total and complete meltdown. They were so sweet. They all came around the counter for a very gentle group hug. Then gave me loads of free stuff on top of my already huge order. Stopped me crying for 5 minutes. Life is funny. You never see that kind of genuine sweetness unless things are really bad. Which, when you realize that, makes you feel worse. Making an appt with a BS on LE expert advice. Just a consult. Maybe would help pain,maybe would help me be more compliant. But I swear. I just don't know how I could possibly have the two cataract surgeries (thank you chemo) and a scar revision surgery, without winding up in rehab.
My shrink is on vaca. My closest brother is in Europe, unreachable. My bestie doesn't have time right now.
I'll be ok. I know I'll get through this. I'm not dying. Yet. I won't kill myself, but I'm not sure how much is mind if a logging truck accidentally took me out on the way home.
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Katy- I just dropped in for a second as I've been out all day and have to finish a project before I lose the light ( It's a photo thing); and I read your post!
I wish I could mind/time travel to you right now and wrap my arms around you and help you see that likely you are not the 'ogre' you are seeing yourself as. If I could I would help you start to create the bridge to connecting to yourself again, through touch and seeing yourself as you are now.
This is a challenging prism through which to view ourselves anew. And it sucks and yet, as we have all shown ourselves to be here in this Crazy town, we are SO MUCH MorE than what is outside. And I know this sounds rote and maybe hallmark card- but I am right here with you.
Feeling sorrow and angry and self loathing at times.
I need to pause right now but I'm holding you in my two arms and you should weep on my shoulder all you want. and PLEASE stay away from the trucks and get home whole-
YOU ARE WHOLE
hugs
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Jackbirdie...
I am SO Sorry, but honestly, what she said about your emotional state, really? Did she really think you wouldn't be upset to hear her assessment of your surgical outcome? And is it really her place to state it rather than refer you to the expert (that would be a top plastic surgeon)?
only weird-cancer-of-the-month supply trucks are allowed in Crazy Town. You know that.
ok, enough with trying to make you laugh by being highly inappropriate. FUCK CANCER!!! I really don't have a lot more to say than that.
Other than this: I think of you as one of the most beautiful of the Crazy Town residents. Seriously. Your spirit shines through your posts in such a positive way. Believe me, I know how it feels to feel one's body is failing one, but try to hang onto your spirit, it is real. and if that doesn't help, Let us say thanks for BREAD!
Octogirl
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Jackbirdie: Another 'not sure what to say, but reaching out to someone who's gotten devastating feedback'. Let us know when you get home?
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katy - who the hell is 'she' and what kind of doc would make those comments? Was it just a PT? Or some MD? Oh well, we already know many of them are thoughtless - in addition to clueless. Sorry that all your personal resources are out of town & missing. There's nothing worse than no shoulder to cry on when we really need one.
I have truncal LE. It's the pits, but my PT taught me to do the MLD w/o looking at anything. It can be done lying in bed in the dark or in the shower w/your face under the water. WTH.
As for the scars, get the BS to give you the name of the top plastic surgeons in your area. They can work wonders.
I've been lurking because I know I can't keep up w/this great group, but I know you won't mind my jumping in. I'm just outraged that anyone would say such a thing about scars in view of all we've been through.
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Minus- she was the hospital's PT LE expert. It was a horrible day. But you all helped so much.
Queen. I'm home safe now. Pretty much a limp veg. May take a soak later. Or as we also call it. A sulk.
Any news on our scan girls today? Thinking of all of you. Thanks again for being there for me.
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