CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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Cubbie, Wow! What a busy week you have indeed! I'll be in your pocket on Tuesday right along with Poppy and Molly.
Molly, I agree. I don't know where to start but any place will be fun.
I have an appointment on Tuesday with my PCP to discuss my meds and make any adjustments that are needed. I'll be starting Tamoxifen soon and I'm not sure if there will be some meds that will interfere with it or not? On Wednesday I have an appointment with my MO to decide when to have any tests and get my Tamoxifen script. Not as busy as Cubbie that'sfor sure
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Hugs to all!!!!!
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Cubbie ..Thinking of you ..!!
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Lori - I second Poppy's Paris recommendation - it's an amazing place.
Cubbie - thinking of you and your appointment merry-go-round this week.
I get my first Prolia injection on Wednesday - anyone else having those?
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nothing much beats Paris, if you have not been then you must go
I too have hi blood pressure and take meds to lower it but it sure is a wicked ride as meds rais it then another pill to lower it
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Lost yet another primary - she is leaving... dang.
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Hi All. I have another test coming up, and the waiting is definitely crazy. It doesn't get easier.
May 2015 I received my diagnosis. may 2016 I found another small lump on my mastectomy side which both my oncologist and surgeon said were probably nothing. After the surgery the pathology couldn't conclusively say there weren't cancer cells because the cells had mucin like my original cancer. I ended up having radiation which I completed in December.
Last week I found another lump so my surgeon put in the referral for the ultrasound. I go in on Wednesday. She says it's most likely nothing. I want to believe that, but the mind goes to other scenarios. For me, it's easier to help prepare myself in case it's not so good news. I haven't told my family yet. I know they'd want to be there to support me, but it's hard as a patient looking at your parents and thinking about what they hope for, and not being able to control that.
I'm trying to patiently wait. Thankfully work is keeping me busy.
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Unbreakable01, oh my goodness you've been through enough. I'm sending prayers your way that "it's nothing". I'm nervous right along with you and I'll be in your pocket with continued prayers. I understand what you are saying about telling your family and having them worry and not getting the results they wish for My kids have a way of "feeling" when things aren't right with me and will grill me until I confess.
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Unbreakable, Sorry you have to go through this again. I don't tell my family until I have definitive information either. I don't want to distract or scare my kids needlessly. I hope you receive good news. After surgery, I had new cysts and scar tissue which showed up as suspicious on the mammogram. US identified it.
This may seem odd, but..... Now that I received benign results from my surgical biopsy, I am depressed. I feel like crying all of the time, unless I'm sleeping. I don't want to do anything, not even shower. I've been mulling this over, especially since I'm surprised by my reaction. I think it's because although I expected good results, I KNOW this is never going to end. Cancer just keeps it's nasty claws in me. Every pain, lump, bump has to be investigated because it could be cancer. I will have tests and retests and more tests forever. I will never be the strong, confident person that I was. PTSD?
What do you think?
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Unbreakable ..Ugh ..It's awful having to go through it all again ..Praying for B9 results for you .
Poppy ..I know exactly how you feel ..Last year when I had my yearly mammogram and ultrasound and they found a lump that they had to biopsy my heart just sank ..and I had the same thoughts as you ..This chit is NEVER going to end ...When my results were B9 I was on a high for a couple of days ..and then occured to me again that .. this chit is never going to end .......My annual mammogram this year isn't until August but I'm already starting to stress over it ..which ( hubby tells me ) is crazy ...I know he's right , but I also know in my heart that this chit is never going to end .🙁..Poppy you had extra trauma ...You had to wait a long time for your biopsy , and then there was the stress of how stupidly hard it was to get your results ..Your emotions would be on a roller coaster ride ..It takes time to recover ...Just pamper yourself , and do things you enjoy ..Hugs ..
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poppy, pampering is what,you need. I have been thinking of going to Canyon Ranch for a spa trip. Figure it would help with stressl
Just got call from primary docmwith blood test results. Seems my cholesteral is up again and now so is my blood sugar, that has never been a n issue for me
Course i checked side effects of my new nasty drug..........yeap it seems to be a side effect, so fun
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Iris ..I hate how one drug always leads to 2 more different drugs to counteract the side effects ! You spa trip sounds like a great idea ..It would be so good for stress levels ..!
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Poppy K,
I understand. When a test result comes back as nothing, it can make you think that the next thing is what can be something.In my head I've told myself if it's going to come back, come back sooner rather than later while I'm still young.I don't want a surprise 10 years down the road.It's encouraging to hear people say that cancer after many years isn't something that takes as much time and space in their life.But then I read of other people where 10 years later it comes back.Those emotions are hard to manage.
I of course want this to come back benign.But my mind goes to the worst case scenario, and it's hard to stop it from not going there.If you're dealing with cancer, you don't have to wait for it to come back.However, when you're dealing with it, it sucks.
I told my surgeon I check myself daily, she said you don't need to, just monthly.I said no, I'm checking myself daily.We do what we need to in order to get through the day and stay sane.
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Labs and xrays are done. Now the wait for results, and tomorrow's dermatology surgery.
Unbreakable, I'm struggling with how often to check as well. If we don't check more often than once a month, how are we going to be familiar enough with ourselves to know that something has changed? That's certainly what I'm finding with the whole skin cancer thing - I have so many freckles, it's hard for me to know when something is new and what was always there. And I didn't really pay a whole lot of attention before this, so I don't have a good baseline to work from. The same thing with lumps, bumps, scars, etc - I find myself wondering, is this what it felt like last month? Six months ago?
I also prefer not to have my family there. It's harder to have frank, sometimes embarrassing, discussions with your doctors when your family is along, and then you have to deal with their reactions to everything. I have my hands full dealing with my reactions, I don't have room for anyone else's,and it just raises my stress levels. Plus, I find that they want to small talk while waiting, which I am not in the mood for. The nurses think I'm weird because I prefer not to have anyone further than the waiting room if I do need someone to give me a ride - I had no one in the pre-op area for my mastectomy, no one in the prep room for my colonoscopy, etc. It's just as well, because my family is so busy caring for my elderly mother that it would be a real burden to have to go to my appointments, too.
Poppy, I know what you mean about how it is never going to end. And every medical professional you encounter wants to check you for something, because once you've had one cancer, they get worried about you having others. I saw my dentist last week after my basal cell cancer diagnosis, and both he and the hygienist checked my mouth for oral cancer, because once you've had one skin cancer...you get the picture. It's great that they are so careful, but it's also exhausting.
And as Iris pointed out, you have the drug side effects. So when you're not dealing with cancer followup, and surveillance for additional cancer, you spend your remaining time trying to manage drug side effects like high blood pressure and increased cholesterol.
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Here comes the Attivan....it's check up week folks!
Stess at work, everyone pussy-footing around me because an 81 yr old who worked at our shop was just diagnosed with stage 4 lung (they are not telling me primary so I assume it's breast) and she just went into hospice. For Pete's sake...I was diagnosed five years ago and already put down one recurrence....you think I can't handle it or don't know what's going on??? Really??? Better put up the do not disturb sign. On one hand it's like pass this exam and rewarded with Easter. On the other hand I could be back on chemo in 2 weeks. (Have a lot of aches and pains this "quarter" though all seem to be muscular (radiation and my shit routine for stretching), acid (taking Arimidex just before bed is NOT working, and a crappy chair at work that after adding a seat cushion, back/hips feel great.
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Unbreakable, in your pocket my dear. 7of9, sorry about your co-worker and I am in your pocket for your upcoming appointment. I have my appointment with the dermatologist this Friday for my UV light treatment. Then I hope to not think about anything cancer related for a few days. I see my MO and BS in May. I have no idea what type of surveillance they do once you have both breasts removed. Does anyone know?
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Hugs to all!
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i have had moles removed, they labeled them as a typical cells so it was not too big a deal. I have bundles of freckles as well and no idea how they decide which need to be checked, they look the same to me!,lm
Off to senior center to have taxes done, aarp freebie, mine are really simple as income straight forward
Dealing today with getting my drug approved for this month and getting the grant approved, not sure whats hold up is , one person said my co pay this month was 1600 another said it was 692 and another said my account was closed
Sigh. so fun
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Good grief, Iris. That's ridiculous.
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Lori, I'd say Paris as well! Or Rome/Florence.
Poppy, glad for benign results, but I get where you're coming from. I think it has to do with getting oneself to a point of feeling safe. Which is never exactly possible, ever, but each time we get positive results, we need to find the door of crazy town and exit back into the world. To the extent possible!
Molly, I seem to be getting a PET scan every 9 months or so. My MO is very casual about it, so I can't tell if this is definite timing or just when she happens to think about it. But then it's a studied casualness... Anyway, PET. I know some people get MRIs or alternate the two.
Unbreakable, in your pocket.
Iris, glad your taxes are straightforward. Sorry you're dealing with drug approval.
Cubbie, I'm with you. I'd rather be alone to deal with the docs.
In NJ dealing with elderly mum, heading home this afternoon. SO hard to keep a conversation going. Small gratitudes: the neighbors were on their lawn last night, so we walked over and chatted. They are really good people who can see what's going on with my mother. They said call on them for any emergencies. Really glad for folks like this.
A lovely Tuesdays, hugs, and waves to all crazies, noisy and quiet....
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Done with the Mohs surgery. I only had to have one excision. The doctor said it was small. I have a couple of dissolvable stitches under the surface, and another four or so on the surface. I forgot to count when they were doing the top ones. He wasn't worried about the other spots on my face that I was concerned about, but they weren't worried about this spot, either, and look how that turned out. I'll probably have to have those spots biopsied later at my insistence, but that's enough for today. I'm getting some lunch before the Novocaine wears off and this starts hurting!
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Molly - once both breasts are removed, don't they do MRI on a regular basis? I'm remembering that they do them to check implants - I'm not sure, but that popped into my head when I read your post.
Poppy - I hear you. I agree with you, and others, about positive news. It's great, but it certainly opens the door for future tests and news. I would say yes to the possibility of PTSD. I have been feeling down lately, can't seem to get motivated, lots of aches and pains from AIs, crying at the drop of a hat. It doesn't feel like depression that I've had in the past. It hit me last week that I'm in a state of prolonged grief. For my pre-BC self, for my old body, etc etc. I'm extremely grateful for the treatment I had, for my NED status, for continuing good news, the excellent care I continue to receive, but nothing is the same.
I tell myself that this is part of the process, but it is an ongoing challenge, to say the least.
Cubbie, glad to hear it all went well.
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I think we need a group hug and cry session. Pennysgal, the MRI to check for cancer vs the MRI to check the implants are unfortunately different. I see BS in May. I will ask her. I just don't want to fall through the cracks. I am so down today. It could be anything. Don't think it is all this crap but it sure doesn't help. Plus we had a school shooting yesterday. Murder/suicide husband came to school, shot teacher wife and killed an 8 year old student in her special needs class because he was behind the teacher. I sobbed the whole way home yesterday.
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pennysgal - Your words rang true with what I am experiencing. You are right - nothing is the same. Sailed through rads with no burn/skin issues. Fatigue really kicked in two weeks after and then before that was done, had to start AIs.
Lori - Thinking of you and your trip plans. So many wonderful places to travel and I am thankful to have been to many of them. Since you like wildlife, Alaska could be a great one for you.
Everyone else - Hugs and healing thoughts.
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Molly ..That shooting is horrific !! What next ..Seems like more and more of these incidents are happening everywhere .....Regarding your follow up testing ..I have a yearly mamogram on my one boob ..( wish I had two boobs 🙁 ) and yearly ultrasound on both sides ..With 6 monthly clinical check ups ..So maybe you would just have ultrasounds. ??? My doctor also does blood work for tumour markers...Which I hate ,hate , HATE !
Iris ..Gosh ..Hope you can sort out what's happening...
Rainny ..So sorry about your mum ..But your neighbours sound like wonderful people .Never let them sell up and move !
Mommy ..Hugs to you .
Cubbie ..It's so good to know that all went well ..
DUCKY and ROBIN ...I miss you both being here ..Sending love ..
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Molly, I had both boobs removed and I was told that I'd see my BS and my MO with PET scans every 6 months as well. I see my MO tomorrow afternoon so I'm sure he'll have a better idea of where we go from here. The shooting at the school was such a horrible thing. I heard a 9 year old was also shot? I'm praying for the families of the victims and for the city of LA. 🙏
Poppy, I vote for PTSD. We never know when the next time will show up. Especially for those here with recurrences.
Rainy, so sorry to hear about your mom. I'd hang on to your neighbors for sure.
Iris, you have enough going on without adding stress concerning your meds/account.
Cubbie, I'm glad everything went well for you.
I saw my PCP this morning and he was thrilled with my BC progress. He wasn't sure who he'd see sitting in his exam room and was happy to see the old me sitting there. But I'm not the old me any longer but I was glad I could fake it for a few minutes. He increased one of my antidepressants so we'll see if I notice any changes in my "want to do" list. It feels like the air has been let out of my balloon. Weird for me.
Sorry if I've missed anyone! Waving hello to All 👋👋
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i am a huge fan of keeping neighbors in the lo
Mine are terrific
Had call back from onco about insurance issue so hoping the aid gets resolved tomorrow
Course still trying to explain to my slightly negative pal why i do not want to go on a bermuda cruise
So can i say just because she has made so many negative comments?
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Iris - YES!! Based on what you've said about her - honesty is the best policy!!
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Cubbie2015 That's why I check daily. It's easier for me to remember what I felt yesterday versus a month ago. Goodness, I have trouble sometimes what happened over the weekend on a Monday.
It's hard having family in the waiting room. They want a positive outcome, and looking at my parents and knowing I have absolutely no control over the situation sucks. I agree with you, it's harder to have the conversation you want with others in the room. My mom likes to ask lots of questions, which is fine, but sometimes she'll dominate with rapid fire questions.
I'm glad things went well.
Molly50 I'm sorry to hear about the school shooting. I'm in So Cal too, and it's not that far away. It's horrible that the wife and student lost their life, and that all those students had to witness it. Hugs and prayers to you and all the people at the school and their families.
I've been on this board a while, but this is the first conversation where I've heard in your pocket. I find it so cute and comforting. Thank you ladies! I'll take you all in my pocket tomorrow and let you know how it goes.
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Hugs to all and a group cry sounds good...today has been a pretty crappy day for me too: more family issues, my sister isn't well, a co-worker who is also a friend just confided in me about a bunch of stuff she is dealing with and asked for advice and I had no good advice to give...I just felt too empty to help her strategize over how to handle her issues...and I am still waiting to hear back on my skin biopsy (and hope I don't have to have the surgery Cubbie but glad yours went well)...none of it is huge on its own, but add it all together and it just feels like a lot. Thinking of all of you...
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