CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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Ok Ladies
I love you all but my mind is a sieve at the moment so please excuse this cursory note.
Clarrn- so happy happy happy for you! please enjoy EVERY moment and relax into a new perspective!
Lucy glad you are feeling a little better with the mouth.
Slow I have to go back and fully read the 'toe jam' post. Will get on that later
Tomboy how are you? I would love to order a piece from you when you are ready to discuss commerce!
Sula- ah the hands... yours are fantastic. Trust me I am a hand specialist. They were made to create things!
Ducky- Poppie is in your heart. holding you close tonight!
Um Katy COMMANDO ( i too thought you went w/o panties) and please you look amazing. that picture with you and Jack and the flowers. A big happy smile on my face. And the produce wasn't bad either ( but you took the show)
Octo- I had an interesting interaction with my acupuncturist today... please remind me that I want to share something /a thought with you....
I will check in more later. For now want to enjoy some dinner so I can get my Tamox pill in soon ( I decided to take it at night)
Hugs to all and PS I moved the MUGA to Friday- been feeling a little tired and don't want to treak into the city just for that tomorrow.
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Lucy and Christine- dirty dirty minds. Ok truth is it was double commando. I'll be dammed if I can't wear a bra anymore and have to wear undies on a hot day. F that!
Beppy- I gave the flowers away. A nice couple I've met here in my town have been very good to me. It was her birthday last week and he took her to the beach, bottle of wine, etc. But he's been saying every time I see him that he was kicking himself for not getting her flowers.
She stopped by this afternoon and I just shoved them at her and told her what her husband had said. I told her to consider the flowers were really from him, since it was his idea and he'd certainly put a lot of thought into it.
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Clarnn- didn't want your special YIPPEEEEE!!! toget lost in the shuffle.
So....🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿🎉🎉🎉😂😂💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿 doing the happy dance over your news!
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Clairm,
so so glad for your great test results..we're having a celebration in my part of Crazy Town!!!
just be glad it's not possums.
Tomboy,
how are you doing today, feeling any better?
Slow,
I love the Toe Jam sign, one of our friends in Malibu lives on a street called Isle Of View...get it???? I Love YouDucky,
thinking of you on this anniversary
Katy,
when you said commando..I have to admit I thought the same thing....uh...
I didn't realize you meant a hat! I weas thinking..we're going to see pictures.????
The vegetables looked great, quite a selection you've got there. For me commando means not wearing my foobs
Gaia,
good luck with the MUGA, I had mine last week and bribed the MUGA people with cookies..sometimes that works
Lucy,
glad your mouth is on the mend. I was thinking of you today when I went to the dentist about my "tooth cancer" which actually turned out to be a tiny pin point cavity!
because of prolia I was afraid of my entire jaw collapsing.
as to the lampreys..here's my favorite lamprey story
Publius Vedius Pollio (died 15 BC) was a Roman equestrian of the 1st century BC, and a friend of the Roman emperor Augustus, who appointed him to a position of authority in the province of Asia. In later life he became known for his luxurious tastes and cruelty to his slaves – when they displeased him, he had them fed to lampreys that he maintained for that purpose, which was deemed to be an exceedingly cruel act. When Vedius tried to apply this method of execution to a slave who broke a crystal cup, Emperor Augustus (Pollio's guest at the time) was so appalled that he not only intervened to prevent the execution but had all of Pollio's valuable drinking vessels deliberately broken. This incident, along with Augustus's demolition of the massive villa he inherited after Vedius's death in 15 BC, were frequently referred to in antiquity in discussions of ethics and of the public role of Augustus.
and now....to roam about and see what else is going on in crazy town with all of you. This is totally my favorite spot on this site, because here nothing is off limits and we can all get as crazy as we need to be! I am always up very late....in case anyone gets super crazy, hit me up
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wow, all, I can't even keep up after a long day!!! So, just adding my cheers for clarnn (hip, hip, hooray!!!), thoughts for duckie on a sad anniversary, good luck to gaia and definitely want to hear what your acupuncturist said, whistles for Katy's porn and admiration for her bravery, and hugs to all!!
I had to head to Monterey for work...a walk here was my post work reward..
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Octo- been in that exact spot. A reward INDEED!!!
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Clarrn, you degenerate!
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Octogirl - you inspired me to jump back on the train for a visit! LOVE Monterrey. Kayaked in the bay a couple of years ago with great guide who was from there whose uncle was a running budy of Steinbecks.great stories and we saw rafts of sea otters and seals galore. My face hurt later from smiling. Definitely a happy place for this texas girl.
I belong on this train because this afternoon I mistakenly took an Ambien sleeping pill instead of the anti anxiety pill I meant to take. Not a fan of making myself vomit - too much of the real thing I guess - notified my DH and DD, slept for 5 hours. At least I wasn't anxious Linda
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Saying Good Night to CT
Love all of you and I second Sula that this is my favorite place as we all get to be here whatever stage or mind state or place we are in or out of re: dx/tx/rx whatever .
Finally made some cornbread Katy could you smell it over there?
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thank you everybody, sorry for the radio silence. After I had to go literally hunt down my onc to have him sign a paper for this insurance program I am on, I was withered and very unhappy. And then I still had a buncha things to do, so I couldn't come and get the special frisson of pleasure that I get when I come to play with you all here! Yesterday and today, got to help my boymanfriend in the shop (studio) by cleaning up a really old and filthy and fragile stained glass window, he made a new window frame and setting for,to sandwich it between two thin sheets of glass, hopefully, preserving it for another 100 years! Just my type of OCD work..
But nice to come here and see good results, news of cupcakes, carrots, goats, and beaches..and babies.
Thinking of you Ducky, how you still honor your mans memory by telling us about him.
Sula, yes you do have great hands, I love hands, too, and eyes and smiles, plus you get the prize for bring us the great little films! I even loved the possum ones! A couple summers ago, we had some possums crashing around in the bushes at night, and some how, two tiny baby ones of them ended up in this garbage can I had been using for leaves and sweepings, pretty much a permanent fixture of my (small) landscape. Phew! They did not smell good! I put a scrap of wood over it, to provide shade for them, and got the leaves a little wet, so they could lick them if they got thirsty. My plan was to tip it over in the evening, hoping the mother was somewhere near, and would come back to find them. I was hoping she would find them, by the smell!!! I guess they did, they were all gone an hour later when I went to check. Those are some pungent animals!
Ok, better post this, and go make pizza. Not the crust, I have been using some store bought naan, yum
love to all
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Tomboy,
Glad things are better for you. We missed you! I have a soft spot for the ugly little possums as we had do many of them at the beach in Santa Monica they sure must like water.
Gaia,
I love that cornbread!!! I've made it in a cast iron skillet a couple of times....yours looks delicious. Now I want some of that!
Hope everyone has a pleasant tomorrow
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Christine- I just snacked on your cornbread when I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. Speaking of corn, I had heard, very disappointingly, that it was no longer possible to source any non GMO corn, from any source in the US, possibly the world, any more. Thanks Monsanto. So very distressing, as I had concluded corn would have to be therefore eased out if my diet. Then yesterday, I saw in the Farmers' Market a sign over one man's corn, a handwritten sign, that said no GMO. I went inside his tent, hopefully, with two ears in hand, explaining what I'd heard. He said, it's still possible, but you have to know where to get it, and you have to pay. He said this year his farm had paid $1,000 for 30 pounds of seed. Wholesale. For seed, that is incredibly expensive. But I was most happy to pay $.75 per ear, instead of $.10, to eat it with so much less fear and guilt, and also support a local farmer with guts, heart, and vision.
Tomboy, so glad you are feeling better and enjoyed such a special day helping your boymanfriend restoring that beautiful piece so it could be enjoyed for many more years. It seemed a very artistically wholesome thing to do. Healing I guess is more what I mean. I hope the experience refueled you, and added another connection, like an additional strong cable, going through the structure if the entity you call "us" with him. If that makes sense.
Sula- so you say you are up a lot and late? Since I started Tamoxifen, this is a nightly occurrence, so I'm "hitting you up". Are you there? I have been getting up and quilting rather than staying in bed, sleepless. Bad sleep hygiene. Being on my iPad, a dreaded "screen", is worse.
Here is my current project, being labeled "chemo-brain quilt" since I can't seem to go a row without a mistake. It's a fairly random pattern anyway, so perhaps not that noticeable:
This particular pattern is beyond simple, but I have still turned some blocks in the wrong direction, but the color progression is so far correct. Some of the fabric is a bit fragile, so I elected not to take the seam ripper to it. I will accept its flaws. And mine, I suppose...sigh... I was able to cobble the blocks together with fabric scraps I had on hand, projects that hadn't worked out, or who had never had a home tobegin with. Still to come are some darker greens, some metallic creams and some red. It's real name us Paintbox. I will back it in plain muslin.
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Looks nice. Been known to make mistakes on my craft projects as well, I figure if they aren't noticeable, why fix 'em
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Thanks Mommy.
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Jackbirdie: lovely thing to do with the flowers for the wife! (And the husband.) As for the quilt, I wouldn't have noticed any 'mistakes' had you not mentioned it. Avid knitter here, and I've made more than my share of goofups, even prior to my cancer. I've learned to bluff.
Suladog: thank you for the story about Pollio and his lampreys.
Now craving cornbread like whoa.
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Katy - I love it! I'm a lifelong knitter, but recently decided to learn to sew after my daughter made a tshirt quilt. I'm working on a jelly roll - good practice for straight seams.
Clarrn - congrats on scan results. MOmmyof2, thinking of you today.
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Morning Crazies
Tomboy glad you are back and I was serious about ordering a piece from you.... LMK how/when you would like to discuss. Also do you have a food processor? I was thinking about you and the heat and food.....
Sula I love that skillet. I have a battery of pot's and pans but I ultimately reach for that skillet for many many things. That was the first cornbread I did in it. Up till my surgery I had been nurturing a 'mother' for 2 years and I used her in all of my baking- which was maily wild yeasted bread but also in the occasional tea breads I would bake. This was just a straight up cornmeal/buttermilk/B.soda number- was perfect though alongside the okra and squash I roasted from out CSA.
Katy, sorry you are not sleeping and as for getting up rather than laying in bed, I actually think that's better at a certain point. Otherwise you just start to associate your bed with NOT SLEEPING. Does that make any sense? also you could consider a small dropperful of Skullcap tincture. I just started Tamox ( day 6) and haven't noticed anything yet- but I also just got my first Sleep Mask. Game changer.... do you have one? The quilt is lovely.... I believe when the Navajo would weave their rugs they always purposefully wove in a 'mistake' because that is where Spirit could come through. We are human after all.
Octo, so in my meeting/acupuncture appointment we always check in on many things before they check pulses etc. Yesterday I was speaking of how my L hip has felt weak and achey since last week and all my feelings around that etc. I told her it seemed to start after I had walked some distance, which was quite a usual distance for me, as I prefer walking over car, subway, bus whenever possible. She then said, "this is not the time to expend energy when it is not necessary. This is the time to cultivate your energy, and reserve it for healing" There is more to be said on this, but I just thought it might be some food for thought with regard to how you meet your next steps.
I do hope everyone has an easeful day. And happy for those who have finished scans and tests and appointments....
More later
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Just got back a bit ago from having the scan, now its just down to waiting for the results which I will get probably no later than early next week
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Gaia, I will think about that....I want to save energy, yes, but I also want to be a badass and tough (which I am not. I am pretty much a marshmallow at heart although I am not sure others see me that way..)
but anyway, a timely conversation, Gaia. I am hovering on the CT exit today. I had such a nice day yesterday, honestly felt better than almost any day since my dx (well, other than the days I saw and hugged my grandchildren maybe...). But today is like I got hit by a ton of bricks. I slept fine, but woke up exhausted, achy, headache, irritable, out of sorts, like I was hit with a ton of bricks (oh yeah, I said that already..), AND my bad breast hurts. AND my arm hurts (did I do too much driving yesterday and get LE?) AND stomach upset. I keep thinking to myself: 'how can I do chemo if I already have the side effects a week before I start?' Am I crazy enough that worrying about chemo is giving me the SEs? Temperature is normal (a little low actually) but I feel like the flu coming on.
My sister who had bc just sent me an email in which she referred to the SFBC (Stupid Fucking Breast Cancer) World. It isn't our regular world. Apparently it is the exit right before Crazy Town.
Sigh. Wish me safe travels, sister crazies. Safe travels to all of you as well. SFBC World is indeed hard to navigate.
Octogirl
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oooh dear, I have many thoughts as I read the postings and have huge memory issues when I go to post, figure most on here get it
had a nasty e mail conversation with an old pal, she lives about 20 miles north of me but does not drive so if I want to see her, it is up to me. The other day I just plain lost it and said time for her to come down to me. she tells me her husband does not want her to drive (no reason given as that would be understandable) but just that she did not want to argue about it.
this just pissed me off as I have invited her many times and she never answers yes or no or why. Think if she said she was uncomfortable driving it would be fine but no reason is nasty and rude. I also think she changed about a year ago when a long time friend of hers was diagnosed with lung cancer. She called to tell me and I of course tried to tell her of folks who had sim diagnosis and were hanging in. She just said, no he is going to die. They would give him chemo till the kids got used to the idea and then he would just die.
Yikes but I can not get that comment out of my head and I know it is the real reason that I do not want to drive to her.
ok, venting over for now, thanks all you crazies
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SDB - I don't know. I found the technology thread here and some day when I have oodles of time, I will read. I am sure it is a setting or just Operator Error. I really enjoy the other things people find - displays more thought and feelings sometimes than words!
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Proudd vent on..............my mother -in-law was an idiot about cancer too.....here is a good one to prove my point about what an asshole, and nut job she was.
When my now 56 year old daughter was 19, she began to have seizures........just like that...out of the blue.....long story short of course 911 was not in existence then, so you always called the police.......well she went to the hospital in our town, but was transferred to a hospital in Philly..........family was told.........
They did not keep her in Philly because the said she needed special testing (MRI), and at that time many hospitals did not have them.....plus she had just gotten laid off at work, and she had no insurance...........enough of that.
Well anyway she was discharged, and came home the next afternoon.................a neighbor came to the door who loved my daughter and the kids told me he was at the door.................my MIL was there sitting in my living room, and said this to me, I swear this is true..........."OH DON'T TELL HIM SHE HAD A "FIT" (NOT THE WORD SEIZURE)..TELL HIM SHE HAD HER APPENDIX REMOVED".
I am not lying..........at a much older age...she got BC, kept it a big secret, no chemo, only Rads..........never came back........her best friend got BC and was scared to death.............I said to her "of course your going to comfort her by saying how good you have done"
She said "OH NO, NO ONE KNOWS I HAVE BC......I DON'T WANT TO BE DESCRIBED AS "OH YOU KNOW WHO SHE IS.......ELIZABETH..THE ONE WHO HAD BC.".........
Even went 1 hour out of her way to a Dr. and for testing because a friend of hers volunteered at the hospital 10 minuters from her front door......she was afraid the volunteer had access to her records...................so there are assholes born everyday............your friend might be one of them.............
By the way...my MIL died at 96.......her husband at 103...........their son (my husband 57)..............
Oh footnote........she survied BC....baloon angioplasty at 90.....triple bypass (at 93).....a broken hip at 95...........
So like I use to tell her....and other idiots I have met since BC......it is not catchy......and you can't get it by talking about it......................Lord free us from the stupid people0 -
Kathy - I find it's an on again/off again thing for me posting pics. I'm on a PC. DH has to post anything from our saved pictures. I have never been successful with an animated GIF like Sula posts. No will ever acuse me of being a techy lol.
Where are we??
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oh my Ducky. Sorry you had to live with that. So not fair Poppie didn't get their longevity. Too mean to die is what I always said.
Octo- yes SFBCW. It's a special "amusement" park just outside CT. Been there. They still take E tickets, Beppy!
Anyway Octo- I have to introduce you to part of my family. Their name is benzodiazepine. Let's see. There's Xanax, Ativan, klonopin, a whole bunch. You need one in your pocket, along with a few Crazies and some cornbread crumbs. It sounds very much like all the symptoms you are experiencing could be from anxiety. Get some. If you have some, up your dosage. I could not have made it through treatment without. Some docs also use them as part of partial pain mgmt. I take them because I would be CTFW (climbing the effing walls) without. its ok. Doesn't mean you are weak. Try not to worry about dependence or addiction. There are some very interesting studies out there about how cancer patients rarely misuse pain and anxiety meds because we really don't want to be here and are highly motivated to return to health.
PTS- I am very sorry about the situation with your friend. Twenty miles seems like nothing and I agree it would help a lot if some reason were given. I have a similar situation with my oldest friend. Something is going on with her (I think, because she won't actually tell me) that prevents her from being present with me (even via text or email) and it's been a constant thorn in my side. It doesn't feel much like a friendship right now. Because we have been so close in the past I am trying every trick I know to be patient and wait it out. If I hadn't had bco I'm sure I would have totally lost it on her long ago. We've been friends 30 years. So I want to try to save the relationship. However, irreparable damage may have been done. So sad. So frustrating.
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Goats- that looks like my quilt! I wonder if I am subconsciously bringing to life the plot plan of Crazytown. Thanks all for the compliments. I used to knit a lot. My mom always fixed my mistakes and it was too sad and frustrating after she was gone so I decided to leave happy memories be and I stopped.
Christine- I have several lovely sleep masks. With real lavender inside. I don't know WTF is wrong with me. Will put one on my pillow NOW so as not to forget at night.
Interesting about the Native Americans. In the making of (quality, authentic and handmade) Persian rugs, there is always a purposeful mistake included in its execution. Followers of Allah believe only he can make perfection and that it would be wrong, even sinful, to attempt to create perfection oneself. The mistakes are typically not made in weaving or dying, but instead a single thread of the wrong color woven into a flower, for example. They are sometimes quite obvious, sometimes almost impossible to find. But the artist knows.
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Jack.......LOL yea.......guess there is some truth to Only the good die young.........his entire family has longevity....skipped him...........and of all the cancers to get.....pancreatic...........they said it is a cancer of older people, but Michael Landon was young, and we had a newscaster here that was younger then my husband......and you do hear more of it today.......By the way after several years of medicine.....getting toxic.....they did experimental brain surgery on my daughter......removed a tumor which has feeder cells, but she is not 56 and doing great.........instead now she has a bacterial lung infection that could kill her in years...............was on meds.....SE's were horrific, but she did her time...........not sure if it killed the bacteria...only time will tell..............this is her
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she is beautiful.
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PTS.. How weird !! I don't blame you being annoyed at your pal.. Friendship is a two way street.. of course she should come to you as well...Ugh.. maybe wait for her to make the next step making contact.
Ducky.. Mil does sound like a real old piece of works !! Fancy saying that about your daughter.! You should of told her to STFU.!! Also how mean not to of shared her BC story to help give hope to friend !! You know Ducky , your right. only the good die young.. No wonder she lived to such a ripe old age.!! HaHa. your MIL has really pissed me off. 😱The photo of your daughter is beautiful!
Octogirl.. Sorry you are having a miserable day.. Its awful when that happens 😞 Your sister sums it up perfectly.. SFBC.!! How long ago was she diagnosed? Hugs to you.. Hope you feel better soon.
Mommy.. Looking forward to hearing your good CT results!! Waiting is awful..
Katy. What a clever lady you are.! The quilt looks great.!
Kathy.. I find it so much easier to copy images onto this site from my phone , rather than my computer..
Gaia.. Try not to worry about the tamoxifen side effects.. I was really worried when I first started.. But seriously it's been pretty much a non event for me.. ( except every time I forget something I blame the tamoxifen.. My secret scape -goat ! ) Some people do have horrible side effects.. and naturally they are the ones on the tamoxifen thread.. others have no problems.
Slow.. Hope you had a better nights sleep than last night.!!
Tomboy.. Glad your back !
Hi to everyone here !!
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So.. It's 3am here, in the Land of Oz. I've been awake for 2 hours..rattling along on my way to CT .. You know how I've had a mascetomy? Well..my boob ( that I haven't got! ) has been hurting me .. Seriously.. !! 😞
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Lucy, I have heard of phantom pain but never experienced it so hoping it passes.
Yeah my pal is not good at opening up on things that she considers failures and I think something is happening with her husband and the marriage, For now not contacting her;
sides, looking forward to the holiday weekend and just got a facebook note from one of my nephews that I have not seen in a very long time and it seems he will be at his moms this weekend so a nice visit is upcoming for me
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