CRAZY TOWN WAITING ROOM - TESTS coming up? All Stages Welcome.
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Chloesmom- sorry you are feeling a lack of stamina and that it is so frustrating to you. It doesn't seem all that unusual to me considering what you've been through. The physical stuff for starters, but all of the stress which costs us all in hidden ways. I was glad to see your second post. Sometimes that's almost all you can do is shake your head. You are most probably improving in fits and starts, and in such small increments that you can't even see it or feel it. But you will get better, and will be strong again. Pay a lot of attention to yourself right now. Make sure your sleep is clean, and that you are eating enough protein. You are rebuilding. That takes proper food and rest. Sending a little mojo your way.
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Love the sleep mask Gaia! I need one of those..
I thought I had posted here, but maybe not, that first round of chemo today went just fine. 25% done, woohoo! I am home, hubby is trying not to hover but to still be there, but honestly, I feel fine. actually, a little hopped up on the steroids. I know that probably won't last but I am enjoying feeling good while I can and mostly taking it easy. The only strange thing I felt during the chemo was a twinge on my right lower side that felt exactly like I had a cell phone deep in my abdomen that was on vibrate mode (but my cell phone was in my purse and no where nearby). It happened about three times. Very strange and a bit crazy making.
So, there i was vibrating. I was sure it was my liver reacting to the drugs, but hubby poo-poo'd that idea, and now that I have googled the location of the liver I see that he is probably right.. This was much lower than that. So hubby thinks it is just a muscle spasm, but I say we don't have muscles that are that far inside (hubby claims we do) and anyway, I am sure it is cancer of the area-where-some-surgeon-dropped-their-cell-phone-into-me-during- surgery. Fortunately no one is trying to call it anymore!
I will try not to let it make me crazy since everything is going so well otherwise so far. I am wearing my lucky talisman, a necklace of a piece of petrified coral I got on a scuba-trip-of-a-lifetime to Raja Ampat, Indonesia, and I kissed it before and after treatment. I will wear it until chemo is over. Oh, and they gave me a teddy bear. It actually made a nice pillow to cushion my arm, and yeah, it is corny maybe but I love him. Named him Gabe. Gabe has one serious flaw: he is wearing a necktie made of pink ribbon! I took that off right away of course, and will look for some purple ribbon instead.
Thanks for your good thoughts and fingers crossed; I can do this!
Octogirl
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Lucy, thank you for those thoughts. You are right, and it's the waiting that's hard. Meeting a friend tomorrow who went through the same surgery at the same hospital a few years ago.
Octogirl, good job! I like the idea of the teddy bear. For my first few chemo sessions, I found myself using a trick we'd used when DS was small and had an ear infection. Before he took the antibiotic, we'd shout together, "Go away, bad ear germs!" I didn't want to shout and alarm the chemo nurses, but as they let the IV flow, I did find myself saying quietly to myself, "Go away, bad cancer cells!" Who knows--why shouldn't it work?
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Octogirl: your ticket to Crazytown beats mine cold. Cancer of the dropped cell phone? My sympathies. Glad you like the teddy bear. Corny, yes, but I'd have been snoogling it too.
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Evening Crazies
Octo I am so glad that this entry into Chem-world seemed smooth. 25% over -YAY! and yes please get rid of that pink ribbon... and DO get a sleep mask. It's been a game changer for me.
I too love what you said Katy about Clean sleep and eating protein- wise and simple - you sound like me with my clients - but now I need you and all the wise ladies here in CT and bco to remind me.
Slow hope you are rested up after the busy weekend- as your story unfolds, I am amazed at all you have been through over the years. Having a loving supportive family, and DH taking on food is so key!
On that note Sula, I her you about doing the majority ( read all) of the food and if you are like me it's because we love it ( and for me cause I'm a control freak) but if I'm not there or need a break my man is just fine. Ordering in (crap) Chinese food or tacos. In fact he does the whole man cave thing when I go out of town for work. And what does it matter cause in the end being particular about my food didn't matter a hoot. But attempting to avoid BC was not why was particular and I certainly won't stop now LOL.
Poppy I hope your US turns up clear and I can ( am beginning to) relate to 'what happened to ...'
QMC yes a little tardy on suggesting the SW and I haven't had any of that yet ... I am however wanting to regroup with some therapy/counseling/active practice.
Rain I do think the insurance that understands the cost and psyche effectiveness of a 4 star hotel vs a depressing hospital stay wins. And as for 'fluids or oozing" from wounds -Puleese a hotel knows what to do with fluids!
Ok crazies- I must try to rest... 2 days down one to go on this gig. I'm achy and tired in ways I have never felt before. Trying not to feel sad and defeated and like this sense of being displaced from myself 'is forever'.... rather that I am on a road to a new/renewed relationship with myself and myway of being in the world. Ya that's lofty. I have that 10% mostly trying to keep my head above water. Love you all
Here are the bright salads though! Day II
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Octo- pink is ruined for me too. Forever. Ugh. But it is sweet to have a teddy/pillow for support. That's nice.
Glad hubby is hovering. You deserve to be paid attention to.
I'm feeling a little silly right now and I was imagining that "cell phone left by the surgeon in your place where there is or isn't muscle to spasm" was ringing and some random cell (as in healthy body cell) picked up :
Phone: you on duty?
Cell: yeah, pulling a double shift today. All hands on deck.
Phone: anything going on?
Cell: oh yeah. Big chemical warfare. Our side is doing good but I just saw a couple of dead guys from the other side floating face up down the vein towards the chute. By bye, spy guy!
Phone: you guys got this. I'll be checking in again sometime but YOU GUYS HAVE GOT THIS!!!!
I amuse easily. Hope you can appreciate my fantasy imagery.
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Christine- Beautiful, colorful, healing salads! You have raised it to an art form!!
Get good rest. Hugs.
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Octogirl.. Glad to hear your 25% done.!! What a good way to look at it.. The vibration does sound more like a muscle spasm to me too.. Glad you had your luck talisman and Gabe to be with you.. I'm so pleased you removed the pink ribbon though.!!
Chloesmon. Sorry your energy level feels depleted...But you have been through a lot.. Just give yourself time.. (Hugs)
Katy. Hi.:-)
Gaia..The salads look amazing.!
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amazing salads, Gaia!!! I hope the knowledge that you are creating something wonderful for others helps with the adjustment to the new normal, and sorry you are having to go through that. Hope you rest well tonight!
Thanks for the phone conversation, Katy. Definitely made me laugh. I am sure your analysis is the correct one! :-)
Now hubby is cooking dinner and swearing to himself as he prepares it. This can't be good....and I actually I am hungry but there is always pbj, right? He isn't as much a cook as I am but he is really trying hard to take good care of me, and I do appreciate it! (and let him know...)
By the way, a little late but meant to mention Sula that your kitchen is indeed awesome!
Sweet dreams, crazies.
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MinusTwo: finally remembered the book that I thought of in connection to The Borrowers: John Peterson's The Littles, published maybe fifteen years later.
Octo: gah, how could I have missed that bleep pink ribbon? My slightly pedantic husband pointed out a couple of weeks ago, that technically teal/green is opposite pink on the color wheel, but I agree with you that purple is oppositer psychologically. Or that it's a nicer color. i don't know why you chose it.
Gaia: having slept on it, I think referring patients to the social worker is part of this practice's protocol, but....woulda been nice, for me, earlier in the process. Although I have no complaint about the nurse navigator!
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Just had a lovely end of day session in the garden, watering and picking. Feel so peaceful.
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QMC, I chose purple because it is my favorite color, simple as that! :-)
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Fair enough. I'd have chosen purple too, just because I like it.
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QueenMom - Thanks, I'll look up The Littles. (I always want to say queen MUM).
Oh Jackbirdie - I am SOOOOOOO jealous of those veggies. Just beautiful. The extreme heat here earlier in the summer pretty much burned up everything. I did buy a very good watermelon this week.
Octogirl - Glad DH is helping. Treat yourself gently.
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hey Crazies,
Popping in after a long work day. Glad to see everyone's doing well. It's 102 degrees out here in Ca today and more of the same tomorrow. Extreme weather keeps writers at their jobs as long as there is air conditioning!
Gaia,
Those salads look gorgeous!! And yes, what the hell did we get for clean eating????? I'm still doing it too and adding protein to the mix was a good idea.
Jack,
Those vegetables look perfect! A lot of my tomatoes haven't ripened yet and I'm one step away from trying to make fried green tomatoes!!!
Rainn,
I know you'll do great. I know it's nervous making waiting but it's a surprisingly easy surgery now that they don't have to remove all those lymph nodes anymore. Our house in Sonoma is about 50 jus from San Francisco and since I had my surgery at UCSF this time my surgery time was 7:30 so I had to be at the hospital at 5:00 am. Friends offered their house in SF to us for the night before but I was too nervous and wanted to sleep in my own bed the night before so we were up at like 3:00 am to drive down there. Actually the long drive helped a lot to distract me. On the way back, the next day before I left the hospital one of my nurses told me to take a senna so I wouldn't get constipated. DO NOT take senna if you have a 50 mile drive on country roads ahead of you.
I'm sort of in Crazy Tiwn tonight as I seem to have palm cancer. I have a tiny little mark on the palm on my right hand which my husband claims is a blood blister but looks like palm cancer to me.
Ducky,
You would have loved my MUGA tech Alejandro. Hot, and he's packing radioactivity!
Chloe,
Hope you get past this energy lag quickly, sometimes the body just goes through phases of recovery.
Octo,
I'd have done the same thing with that pink ribbon. Actually, I don't think I'd have been that polite.,as to the internal cell phone.... I did have that back in 1990 and there weren't any cell phones back then so it my more like I've got bugs or something in there.... my surgeon said it was my intestines digesting so much for buzzing cancer
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Howdy Crazees. Has everyone gone on recess time today? I hope it's that and not more chit happening to our peeps.
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ok, me home, did my physical therapy on back today. Those torture guys have been setting up obstacle courses for me using bosom balls and foam things and making me work at it! but dang it is sure getting better. Back is crankie in the AM but got my stretches to do to get it loose and not so bad. Treated myself today and bought a new mattress, hoping that is a help, dang if I know how old this one was but dang sure it was pre cancer date of 08 and who knows when really. New one will come tomorrow so should be good
not much food in the house, do have some chicken so time for chicken creative thinking~~
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PTS- so glad you are getting relief finally. I've been meaning to say so for a week now. And good looking to boot! YAY!
Goats- it is quiet this morning! I had my granny yoga class early, well not that early, but I have a hard time anymore getting going in the morning. Home now, and planning a lazy day. Maybe read my new/used Indian cookbooks and plan something experimental!
Hope everyone is staying out of CT for all the right reasons! Have a great day everyone! (She says, realizing it is now 1:30 pm PST and some people are already looking at today in the rear view mirror and starting dinner!) Oh, I am WAY BEHIND today!
Lucy- 💁
Sula- what should I do with my one perfect yellow squash? I just picked it last night and want to eat it for dinner. Not a huge squash fan but I know I should eat it today! Suggestions? It's just me here, cooking for one.
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Sorry I've been MIA. This weather has me flaring pretty bad, and my shot has just about worn off.
Sula, pretty funny story about the man that showed up at the hospital telling his wife there was no food in the house. WOW!! I'm so fortunate to be married to someone that has a well functioning brain!!
Looks like I missed Sula's VaJayJay party! Happy functioning VaJayJay to you!!! Here you go Sula.....this one is for you.
gaia, The food, salads and drinks look fabulous. I make sure I have a full tummy when I read our Crazy Town thread. Otherwise, my mouth is always watering. Great picture!! Hoping you can get some good rest once you gig is over.
Rain, I think the booklet is an excellent idea. Although, I was given so much literature when I was diagnosed, I was so overwhelmed, I didn't read any of it. I think they should give their literature out in stages with a booklet on what to expect as a first priority. Just my two cents. One of these days we can have a burning party with all the literature I have!!! Cute, funny story about you DS!! Your 4 star hotel option sounds like a good plan - sign me up!! "Go away bad cancer cells!".....I LOVE it!!
Rose, Was the MO recommending radiation or are they offering rads as an extra precaution? Just curious. I was told if I had an MX and clear nodes, I wouldn't need radiation. I see this is your second time around....wondering if that is why they want you to have a consult? I hope your sinus infection gets better soon!!
MT, That book sounds so familiar to me....did they happen to make a TV version of the book??? If not, I must have read the book MANY years ago.
Ducky, hahahahahaha. That radiation story gave me a good laugh. I can totally picture you charming that YOUNG zapper!! I was very uncomfortable with my techs. I didn't get the same one every time, and I always felt so exposed. How many guys should we be expected to flash our boob to?
PTS, So glad you have a good time with you sister and nephews!! Happy to hear your sister is doing so well!! I hope it gets easier for your nephews as time goes by. YAY!! NEW MATTRESS!! I so desperately need one of those!!
Lucy, How nice of your DH to take care of you!! He sounds like a wonderful husband. You deserve the very best!!
queen, The B&B sounds wonderful. So nice of them to make you the brekkie <-------I used that word just for Lucy!! haha
Chloe, Great rant!!I am going through the same thing, although it is getting better as time goes by. Hang in there!!! I've found the only people that can understand what we go through are people that have gone through the same treatment. Our family and friends think once we are finished with treatment, we should be back to our old selves, and can't understand the challenges we face. I forget things all the time just like you mentioned with the groceries. I think that is from the chemo.
Octo, Good thinking staying at a hotel close to the hospital. I had an LX and got to come home the same day, but if I ever have to stay longer, your plan sounds like an excellent option!! So glad to hear your first round went well. 25% DONE is great way of thinking!! Wishing you minimal SE's as the next few days progress. You are right....you CAN do this!
Katy, That cell phone conversation cracked me up!! Thanks for the belly laugh!! hahahaha I also amuse easily!!! Your vegetables look wonderful! I wish so much we could have a garden here. With our water shortage, I don't think we would be very successful!!
Ok....I better post this before someone else makes a post and I'm behind again!!!
Love to all crazies!! Lurkers too!!0 -
Beppy! Missed you! Good to see you!!!
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Loved the vajayjay meme. That mademe laugh for the second time. I was crying when Sula said it. Haven't heard that term in too long. Some words just make me laugh. I am also easily amused. I think it's one of my best traits as a human. I'm very proud I know so many fun things to do by myself. Since...you know...I'm here by myself all the time. Not counting Jack and Tutti!
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Thanks, Sula, for your words of wisdom. Will certainly not take senna before a 50 mile road trip. Sounds like the time I took the subway home after chemo and got caught desperately needing a bathroom. Got off the train and went up to the street, where I knew there was a Starbucks. Cut in front of a long line of 20-something hipsters, did what I needed to, came out apologizing sorry, chemo to the whole line. They must have thought I was a madwoman. Or just grossly inconsiderate.
Katy, yellow squash or zucchini thinly sliced, sautéed in olive oil with maybe a little garlic or shallot, fresh herbs, a squirt of lemon juice, parmesan cheese. Just a thought. I've been doing that a lot lately.
I finally dipped into Go Set a Watchman. Interesting: parts of it are very unformed, then you'll see a flash of brilliance. It does come alive when it shifts to the young Scout's viewpoint. Still haven't made up my mind, and it's due back at the library.
Beppy, I was given literature on the chemo drugs when I started that road. I skimmed them, took a look at the side effects, and had to put them aside. It was a few weeks before I could pick them up again. I also got on Dr. Google right off the bat and scared myself silly. It was a while--maybe 6 weeks?--before I got back on the internet and found some reputable sites, like this one.
Anyway, surprisingly un-Crazytown today. We've had rain (rain in NYC, hooray!), and the temperature is down in the low 80s. What a difference it makes!
Happy evening to all!
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Rainny- thanks! What herbs do you think? And you put the parm on at the end, garnish-like? I have some rockin' parm on hand. And shallots. My favorite onion-type being.
So glad to hear you've had a nice, cooling and cleansing rain. I am following your lead on Watchman. I don't think I'm going to be able to bear it. I did get a recommendation for Christopher Moore, A Dirty Job, and his new one, which I got from the library. Not my usual thing, as I do tend towards the classics (taking myself soooo seriously) but Moore is wicked funny. You have to pay attention all the time because he is always heaving a zinger over the bow. I actually laugh out loud. Get the funniest looks from Jack. He wonders what he's done to make me happy. I tell him all he needs to do is just "be". How I love that dog.
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Jack,
since you want something fast for just you...Butternut squash soup
take this recipe and halve it. I've been making this for years, it's not my recipe but excellent. I don't have anything for a yellow squash that wouldn't involve a bunch of Indian spices
Slow,
Thanks for the good vajayjay wishes!!!! At least something about me is normal for once.
It's crazy hot up here in Wine Country..101 here right now..We are in our office working, and I just baked a vegan gluten free chocolate cake for a friend..we'll take it over to their house later. Meanwhile..back to work, see all you crazies later on tonight.
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This is for Kathy, as promised. Sorry it took me so long. I hope it makes some kind of sense. This is how I post pictures.
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wow! That's a lot of work! I think I can benefit from this tutorial as well!!
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Katy, do you have fresh herbs growing? I would just take whatever looks good, picking from mint, lemon basil (for whatever reason, I killed all my regular basil this summer), thyme, oregano, cilantro, even rosemary. Whatever ya got. Salt and pepper too, if you like. A splash of balsamic vinegar if you'd rather that than lemon. Oh, here I go with the food obsession again! Best I put the laundry in the dryer now...
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Thought I'd share a pretty picture. This is my homemade organic limoncello in step 1. About s week away from taking the peels out of the grain alcohol.
starting a new batch today. I like to give it for special Holidays. Your definition of Holiday is as good as mine!
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Ducky,
that was the best..............
But Ikept going who the hell is Genevieve? it took me forever to figure out who the hell Genevieve was?
Oh year, I guess you don';t go by Ducky all the time - you should
I am a little slow.............................cancer of the brain.
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Katy, that picture looks very refreshing. I've never made limoncello, but I think I may just try that someday.
Sula, the squash recipe looks yummy. Oh man.....now I'm hungry AGAIN.
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Bep- it's so easy. Only 4 ingredients and one of those is water. Let me know if you want a link. I have a video. Need a really sharp peeler, guts, and a large wide mouth glass jar too.
I'm nowassembling my arsenal for my attack on Indian food!
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