Tips for fighting the dark clouds
Comments
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Lynn, I am so sorry that your family members will be moving so far away. No wonder you had a pity party. I know how much you will miss that precious grandbaby. As artistatheart suggested, learn to Skype. Seeing and hearing everyone in realtime is wonderful. If you are able to visit them a couple times a year and they are able to visit you a couple times a year, you will never be far from that face-to-face hugging and kissing and cuddling. Make sure they send you lots of pictures and videos, too. You should do the same for them. Whatever you do, don't give up. You will always be a special part of your grandchild's life no matter how far apartyou are.
Lynne
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I do have family here. I want to stay strong for my daughter because I know this is very hard on her too. I'm going to talk to the doctor about an antidepressant but not sure which one
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Kiwi, I Love those marching orders, what a great story
Lynn, oh, my, a lot of mixed emotions for everyone to deal with! New beginnings for your daughter and her young family. Yet moving away from family. And you so attached to your granddaughter. Please try to stay open minded about how everything will work out. It is also an opportunity where you can look for new ways to spend your time. Moving so far these days, it is a little easier to keep in touch with texting, messaging and skyping, photos sent on the phone and all. Best wishes to all.
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lyn,
So sorry to hear about your daughter's move. I understand the deep love you have for your grandbaby. As far as anti-depressants, I had already been on Celexa, for hot flash relief, prior to bc. When I was dx'ed, my cancer center gave me a referral to a psych who specializes in cancer patients. After meeting with him, we decided on Effexor. I have been taking it for about 4+years and it has really helped keep me on an even keel. If you do go this route, remember that it takes several weeks for it to become effective and that if one ant-depressant doesn't work or has se's, there are quite a few to choose from. Take care
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Thanks for your kind words of support everyone-I have considered Effexor before but was afraid of side effects from it. Have you noticed any
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Lynn,
I have had no side effects from Effexor at all. Nor did I have any on Celexa. I understand that stopping Effexor is no picnic and must be done slowly, but I have no intentions of stopping (unless medically necessary)
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Thank you so much my friends....I'm going to discuss it with my doctor next week.
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I have gone on Lexapro twice. Both times, I just needed help dealing with new realities. It stopped the horrendous hot flashes after hysterectomy and starting on AI's. I was reeling from the Stage IV dx and then the hot flashes brought waves of anxiety and misery-- I was really losing myself. I eased off of it a couple of years later and the hot flashes did not return. I did great for a couple of years, then I realized one day that I had fallen into the sad pit again when I found myself regularly tearing up at red lights without warning. Again, I eased off of it very gradually after about six months, and I was fine. I would go back on it in a heartbeat if hit a hard patch again.
We do what we have to do. As long as we're alive, we need to LIVE.
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Well said, Lulubee!
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lulubee, What is it about driving in the car that dredges up tears for us???
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How true!
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Great post, Chelle! So true!
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and then there's the certain songs that bring the tears ....
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Oh GatorGal, I am one of the nutty people you see singing in the car. Sometimes I have tears streaming down my cheeks as I go. It is crazy! By the time I reach my destination I am a mess, red swollen eyes and all!
Lynne
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Lynne, I think I saw you today! LOL
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Chelle, that is so me!
So is this-
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Oh Terri, I am laughing so hard. I love your post. It is just do true!
Chelle, Your post really hit home. Sometimes I get stuck right there in my head.
Lynne
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So I'm trying to get my head out of all those dark places... Waiting a week for results for a scan is cruel and inhumane as far as I'm concerned. With all the things we can do technologically we can't read a scan in a normal amount of time? Every ache every pain is more cancer in my head. By the time Thursday rolls around my head will have imploded.
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Wendy,
The sad thing is that we all know that it is possible to read scans and create the reports in a normal amount of time. Someone has to look at the process and figure out what is causing the bottlenecks because it isn't fair that we have to worry and wait. The delayed results are widely accepted. I know that what I have said doesn't help you at all.
I am sending good vibes your way. I hope you receive good news on Thursday. Here is a big (((hug))) for you
Lynne
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Unnecessary waiting really is inhumane. My old hospital made people wait for an appointment to get results. Recently one of those doctors sent me a questionnaire for her research study on quality of life. There were questions about body image, mental outlook, etc. I took the opportunity to say that what really diminished my quality of life was the needlessly prolonged anxiety caused by their delayed test results.
New York mafia accent: "Yo, Wendy. You wan I should go make em talk?" (Sorry,not making light of it, but wishing I really could go and do something to help you.)
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Shetland you are so sweet I hate my family seeing me like this... I just want to crawl into bed pull the covers over my head and cry till Thursday. I think the worst fear is to experience the whole diagnosed thing again. That awful D-day from a year ago all the potential is there. I don't know if I can do it again. This time I won't be alone that's something. You ladies definitely help thank goodness for my animals..
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What kind of scan was it? Have you considered some anti-anxiety med to help you through the next few days?
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Wendy, I know the feeling of needlessly waiting for scan results. I've had to wait sometimes 2+ weeks, it's disgusting. I've now developed a relationship with my PCP's MOA (that's alot of acronyms!!) I can now get a copy as soon as they receive the radiologist report, usually 2 days max. Now the only problem with this is sometimes you need a Dr to interpret it. My DH got quite pissed off once when I got the report & read it wrong, but now he "gets" it & doesn't say a word. The dreary Feb weather probably isn't helping your mood. Maybe a bit of retail therapy to get your mind off it?
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Shetland yes I have my MJ I guess that counts as anti anxiety meds. It was a pet scan I asked the radiologist and she looked at me like I was crazy oh it takes at least a week to read... I did talk to my oncologist prior because I was having some rib pain and I was worried about it. She said she would come by when I had my scan and check on me and find out about the scan.. That was a big fat no show no call no messag no nothing. It was Friday I guess she had better plans. Scanxiety is a real thing and the health care professionals need to understand this. When I think of all of us at different times going through this for no reason other that bad organizational skills makes me very angry. Thank goodness for my sons and my animals . I have my fur buddies trying to cheer me up its like they know I'm bummed. Who said cats aren't sensitive.f
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Kitties know when you need love.
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Oh haha! You girls crack me up! Gator Gal is it wasn't Lynne, it might have been me.....Terri, I had to show that one to my DH. Shetland, my dog does too. She really knows when I am in a funk. I think we should all collaborate on a book about MBC and what it is like to live it. Might help other people down the road...Scanxiety, tacky comments, sudden tears outburst, all of it!
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I know there are Varying time waits on scan reports but I agree that it is Inhumane to make us wait more than a few days. My oncologist usually has me schedule the scan the day before I see him and he has the results when I go in. He can show me the scan on his computer and give me A printed copy of the radiologist's report. Don't know how standard that is, but maybe my cancer center has figured out how much stress it causes us to have to wait. Sometimes even have the scan in the a.m. And see him in the p.m. I didn't realize how lucky I was to get them so quickly. Reading the report on my own, without him to interpret, is generally not a good thing. I read way more Into the rep
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I usually get them like that too GatorGal. The next day with my appoinment. However, it seems like all the blood labs I've been doing I wait sometimes for two or three days. Not as critical but still anxiety producing...
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Spring is coming for many of us. It is time to look forward to warmer weather, bluer skies, sunnier days, green grass, and spring flowers. I enjoy gardening and can't wait to tend my flower gardens and plant some vegetables. My garden will pale in comparison to Terre's magnificent gardens and the bountiful harvest from her yard, but I will still enjoy eating any vegetables that I manage to grow. I will supplement by shopping at the local farmers' market. There is nothing like the taste of locally grown fruits and veggies.
Lynne
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