patty
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Hmm been off a couple of months, can't figure out where we are? Went back a few pages, not catching details
Patty, love you. Old phrases that would offend some...."Livin ain't easy, dieing ain't easy"... "It's the in between that counts".
We make phrases for everything. Your Phrase will live on for this community for those that know youHootie Hoo,
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Thank you, Madelyn. I think we are all feeling a lot better now that we know what is really happening with Patty.
I agree with Micmel - this is not easy for you, either.
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mom—thank you for all that you do to keep us updated!
Wishing and hoping and praying that Patty feels the love from us all! Peace to you sweet lady ❤️
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Thank you Mominator. If required do know of someone on another thread who had Patty's new address after she moved and previously arranged to receive and forward cards to Patty.
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Mominator, thank you so much for finding out how our Patty is doing. I know there must be a hundred ladies that check her daily for any updates. Funny how we come to love those we have never met in person.
Sweet dreams sweet Patty.
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Hi everyone...so happy we got an update and that Patty has pain control. As a RN with Hospice experience that post just did not make sense. Hospice is a wonderful organization that does absolutely everything they can to keep you pain free. Sweet dreams Patty....
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love you Patty. ~Miss your messages..
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Thank you so much, Mominator! again!
Yes, I'd love to send her a card, wherever she is. Didn't I read that she is in a hospice facility now because she couldn't remember when she took her meds? or did I miss them moving her back home? Whatever the case, I think a card shower is a great idea. If anyone has an address to send them to, or who can forward them on, please PM so I can send it.
Patty, let's go for a swim. Beautiful sandy beaches for days.
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My favorite old gospel song, by Albert Brumley, 1929
Some glad morning when this life is o'er,
I'll fly away;
To a home on God's celestial shore,
I'll fly away.
I'll fly away, Oh Glory
I'll fly away; (in the morning)
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by,
I'll fly away.
When the shadows of this life have gone,
I'll fly away;
Like a bird from prison bars has flown,
I'll fly away.
Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away;
To a land where joy shall never end,
I'll fly away.Rest easy, Patty, and fly away when the time is right. SB
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For sas-schatzi and JWoo and a few others who are still catching up.
Here are Patty's last two posts:
Aug 12, 2018 04:53PM PattyPeppermint wrote:
not sure I talked about changes in care. Because of the amount of meds I am taking and my memory hospice is only alllowing me enough meds for 2 days in a row. So after my sis leaves my choices are back in hospice or uncontrolled pain. What a predicament having a very hard time standing and settling. Almost couldn't get out of tub. Can't remember anything. Can't balancecheck book. Or remember much anything
Just wanna be done. Check out but my body is lagging behind
Dss are here but so exhausted just trying to fake it best I can.
Gonna do some loooking around Monday. There has to be more option then hospice house or hospital
Much love
Aug 14, 2018 09:09AM PattyPeppermint wrote:
willl catch up later but mostly packed to move in hospice today. Even though my lol sis here medicating 1 per hour we can't get on top of pain. Things changing quickly. Can't live by myself. Standing without dizzy and falling or remember how to make tea pay bills. Everything is just more than I can do and the huge amounts of pain meds are not helping. Praying for quick death. Just FYI will update in a day or two when I can think straight
Hugs
I've researched that hospice house will be much better then
It sucks and just trying to do auto pilot for big stufff one foot in front of the oven. One day at a time.
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Patty wanted to stay home. But things were changing quickly. Even with her sister "here medicating 1 per hour we can't get on top of pain." That is the most important reason for her to go to hospice house: to control the pain. Also, she couldn't live by herself: "couldn't stand, make tea, or pay bills." And she "researched that hospice house will be much better."
Sadly, Patty doesn't have much family around her at hospice house. I hope XH is bringing the DSs over, older DS can drive. Closer sister is 7 hours away. This is what probably prompted the further away sister to write the Facebook post. The medical part was out of date. But Patty could probably use cards. I don't know if anyone there is reading bco to her. Probably not. I have been messaging people who have expressed interest in sending Patty a card. If I missed you, just PM me.
No news from either sister today, however, they usually aren't very active on Facebook.
Madelyn
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Thanks Madelyn.
If our dear Patty is getting sick and tired of this misery, she needs to have her sister/advocate talk to the hospice people about stopping food, etc., with HER permission of course. Food will keep her around a LOT longer than if she just stops. The drs supposedly gave her 2-3 weeks, and she's gone over that now.
Forgive me, I don't mean to be "clinical," and I don't know her full situation, but if she's ok about continuing on as things are, she could last for several more weeks. And if her body can still process food w/out too much trouble, that means physically she's not ready to transition yet.
All this makes me sick at heart, especially when I realize that all us Stage IV gals will eventually be facing these decisions, too.
Keeping her in prayer,
L
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just spent the last hour listening to favorite hymns. I remember when my Granny was on hospice, my Dad and Aunt would go see her almost daily (well my Aunt moved in with her so...). They would play her music and sing to her. Granny wouldn’t really be awake or with it, but her foot was just a tappin along to the music. I remember thinking, I want that when I get to the business of dying...my Dad and Aunt singing to me. It never made sense how that would work out for me to be in that position before them...well I got my answer .
I was singing to you Patty! A “joyful” noise indeed 😉❤️
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Kjones~That's beautiful, sad and wonderful at the same time. Hugging you from a far. Oh and be safe in this weather. Please. You and your family... please
I am here Patty, for my morning visit to kiss you on your forehead and tell you “I love you, my friend “ ~M~
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Lita, and others, I hear your concerns.
We need to remember that Patty's two last posts were when she was facing a tough decision, she was having trouble concentrating, and she was in a lot of pain, both physically and emotionally. Also, the further away sister's post was very outdated.
We know from the closer sister's updates that Patty is comfortable, just bored, confused and sleeping a lot.
I know many were concerned about Patty being alone. So at the suggestion of another bco member, I went on the website of Patty's hospice house.It is beautiful. Truly beautiful.
Their motto is “When medical science can no longer add more days to life, hospice adds more life to every day.”
Among its many services, it has a chapel. I remember she visited the chapel when she was there at hospice house for a weekend to get her pain under control. She was the only one who went to services on Sunday, and she had a private meeting with the minister. It was very helpful.
Among their services, The Hospice House states that residential care "can be an alternative for patients living along with no primary caregiver." Before Patty went onto Hospice, she had no primary caregiver and she was in pain all the time. Hospice house has been able to stabilize her pain medication and she is no longer in pain.
They have volunteers, they have activities. I do not think Patty is alone. I think Patty is in the care of compassionate professionals and dedicated volunteers, with visits from her family.
I will try calling her cell and/or the Hospice House later this morning.
Madelyn
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Thanks for sharing the information about Hospice House. It sounds like the best place Patty can be under the circumstances. I'm also hoping that her BFF is able to spend time with Patty. May she be at peace and feel our love and companionship from afar.
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Good morning, Madelyn! Thank you for everything you are doing to keep us informed about Patty.
I thought maybe some of the other women here following could benefit from knowing my few experiences with hospice. My sister-in-law, at age 40 was in hospice dying of colon cancer. She spent the last three days of her life there. The hospice people set up a room right next door to hers for all of us to stay in to sleep in and we rotated in and out. The women, because that's all we saw, we're God's angels. Their job, there one and only job was to make sure that she was not in pain and that she was kept comfortable until she passed. My next experience was with my grandmother who had a brain bleed and who survived more than a few hours which is not normal, she was put into a hospice house and I have to say I could not have been happier with their treatment of her. Other members of her family were able to come sooner but it took me 7 hours to drive up there to be with her and they were just wonderful with her. She was not conscious, she never did regain Consciousness nor would she ever have but she knew we were there I could tell. Again the nurses there they're so job to keep her comfortable pain-free and they did it and they did it with kind loving hands, soothing voices and again God's gift. My third experience was with my daughter-in-law's grandmother who was in for the last two weeks of her life. She was conscious and she loved Disney. Anything Disney especially Prince Charming and Cinderella and so forth. The nurses again went above and beyond to allow the room to be decorated the way that she liked to put a princess tiara on her head and a little Cape around her shoulders. The experiences that I've had with hospice were so lovely that I opted to be put in a hospice facility rather than diet home. However, my DH and DS reminded me that we're I to do that, I would no longer be able to watch the horses grazing in the pasture or have my little dog up in my lap. So, that decision is on hold for just a little while.
What I'm trying to say to you all, is that the experiences that I've had with hospice facilities, even if Patty's family is not there all the time, she is more than likely surrounded by loving kind, caring and supportive nurses.
I hope this reassures some of you. For Patty I wish only piece and love in God's hands surrounding her.
Claudia
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Claudia,
Patty's Hospice House allows patients "visits from their four-legged friends with proof of current vaccinations."
So that may be an option for your dog. I'm not so sure about the horses, although they are four-legged friends.
Madelyn
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Thanks Madelyn! I got an instant picture of them walking around Hospice, which brought a big smile to my face and a chuckle!
Claudia
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I called her cell and it rang several times and then went to VM.
I called the Hospice House and a real sweet lady picked up the phone. "Patty is sleeping right now and the phone did not wake her up." She took my name and number and said she will help Patty call me back when she wakes up.
Madelyn
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Thanks Madelyn... Yeah, we all just want her to be comfortable and not in any pain...
You are right Lita… When my Mom was in the Hospital, not knowing anything, but just moaning.... I asked can't you just give her a sip of water, or ice cubes? They said, no, her kidneys are not working, and if she drinks, she will need dialysis or something like that... And of course neither she nor my Grandma could not eat anything...
It really is just so heart-breaking to know what is coming, but to the family watching and grieving, it wasn't fast enough... We just wanted her to go into a peaceful sleep....And no-one knows when..... no-one could tell us how much time my Mom had left, nor my Grandma.... It's all in God's hands.... the higher power.... when things are ready for her, she will just fly away to the moon... And we will be her wings, lifting her up with our love ….
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I spoke with Patty just now! (6:45 pm her time)
(It took three calls to get her when she was awake.)
Patty was real tired. She appreciates all the prayers. They are managing the pain. She doesn't need anything.
Patty's voice sounded weak and tired. Her sentences were very short. She doesn't have much to say (possibly too tired to talk).
I told her how much we all love her, and we were sending her on a virtual ride in a convertible, with chocolate cokes.
But mostly, we all love her very much and we are sending many prayers her way.
Madelyn
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THANK YOU Mominator for all you do.
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Thank you, Mominator. You are being a guardian angel and we all appreciate you so much!
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Love and prayers for Patty, every day
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Thank you, Madelyn! I am so glad she got to hear your voice. I know we all appreciate how much you do
Ann
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Thanks mom! Glad she is comfortable.
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Thank you Mominator!!!
Sending love, Patty.
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Mom ~thank you so very much for telling her how we all feel about her. Sending you hugs from across the miles my patty girl!
Love you friend. ~M~
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Thank you Mominator! I'm sure you have Patty a great big Hootie Hoo from all of us. Sending prayers up daily!
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Thank you Mominator...Glad you were able to talk to Patty. I’m so glad she is in hospice. My first experience with death in a hospital setting, the nurse told me they expected my roommate to die that night and asked if I would be ok with that. I decided I could pray for her .
Then I watched as nurses and aides from the floor took turns sitting with her, holding her hand,talking to her, some quietly singing. Just before dawn she passed. She had no family but these wonderful women treated her like she was their own mother. It was truly inspiring.
I take comfort in the privilege of being there that night.
I have sat with 4 family members in the years since and watched hospital staff and hospice staff help so much.
Hugs to all who are so fond of Patty and who have been privileged to know her. Maire
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