patty
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I know you're scared. I have the same fears. I tell myself we come into this world alone and we leave alone. The process is by ourselves but at the end we have wonders waiting for us. Parents, siblings, pets can't wait to meet us whether here on earth or in heaven.
I'm glad the biopsy was easy. Hope you get on top of the pain quick. So happy your sis is there.
Sleep tight. Let your sister fight the nurse for the Ativan.
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thanks Zill
Oh yeah forgot to say yesterday my right arm started swelling. Today it is both my left and right arm. Mo seems to think it’s because liver is not filtering toxins out like it’s supposed to to. Mo said this situation could go from bad to detrimental in a matter of hours if it is because of liver. Ugh. To me it seems like another’s sign that it is hospicetime.
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Patty , your words, Heaven. I'm not a bible person. but very much a believer in Jesus Christ, and God.. Also, the Saints, I particularly, like St. Michael the Warrior. From a young one, my prayers always went to Mary. Daily.
Dear one, we know not the moment of our passing, what we know is that if our soul is prepared, we will pass with grace into his presence. Pray for yourself. Seek a pastors blessings for forgiveness of sins.
Love you sweetie, we had so many fun times together. Way outside the norm of BCO. We were shocking. OMG talk of ESSEX. We had to make a word, b/c discussion of such stuff was so out of ---what---normal. Yeah that was fun.
So sorry this happened to you, so sorry the boys have to go through all of this and will not have you in their life. So sorry that you and Dh decided being separate was a thing--------------no clue of value., and no one should pretend to know.
My instinct is to say- Love you baby-----know that sounds odd----kissing your forehead. And again wrapping my arms around you Peppermint
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praying for you patty. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Patty, I am wondering if the swelling is from multiple blood transfusions. That nurse sounds fishy.
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Loverly. That would be a much better reason. Yeah. Only have had one nurse I really don’t like and I had her last nite and today. Yuck. I generally like everyone and overlook small faults but she really gets under my skin
Sas. What can I say. I am not one who wants to say goodbyes directly but I know I need to make sure all my family and friends know how much I love them, how hard I fought and how I value our relationship. I hope “heaven “ didn’t offend you or anyone else. Just saying how I feel. The Chaplin has been by st least once every day. She has been a rock in the midst of my storm. I am going to dictate letters to boys to her later today and she will type it up - easier for editing - and I can personally sign it. I can feel your love. Thanks. Oh yeah one more thing : dh and I did not decide to separate. Dh decided to have an affair and he decided being the care giver while I am the patient was just too much to handle. I did agree to divorce after all that pain. 25 years together simply thrown away. Who in the hell does that while spouse is stage IV and struggling so much ??? He does call or come by every day to check on me. Rarely will I ask him for anything. My pride is to big. HE decided to tell me that my dss are forever scarred by my illness. I agree they are changed but not scarred.
I have become close friends to so many people here on bco and have lost some really wonderful sisters but I don’t think I can do individual good byes. Just too hard but I will let you guys know how much I appreciate y’all when I can text without so many tears or Maybe I can dictate my appreciation to Shannon and she can post for me
Sending much love and thanks
Hootie hoo.
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I have letters for my children too. I feel your pain about XDH. I don't think they're scarred. Why do they have to say such hurtful things?
I had infertility. Adopted both. My miracles from God. Hindsight is 20/20. I know why I was unable to carry. I wouldn't change it.
I wonder (sometimes) why I have cancer. I tell that story above to my kids. I was meant to be their mother. I Hope they might be the ones to find a cure or provide compassion to those who are ill. I don't know the plan.
The wisdom of a small child...ask God when you get to heaven.
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Patty. I lost my mom to b cancer at 19 and my sister was 13. We are not scarred. We are two very strong women who advocate for Breast and ovarian cancer patients ( my sister had ovarian cancer 19 years ago). We are fiercely devoted to our family and friends. Losing ones mom at a young age made us the women we are today. Your sons will be strong and devoted men one day. Leave them that letter. I wish my mom had done that. I know she loved us so very much! As long as they know that and I’m sure they do they will be fine. They will miss you daily but they will be fine
Please know we’re all here for you
Babs
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((Patty)) sending love and light. ♥
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Oh Patty, I just found this thread and I'm so sorry to read your story.
Sitting here in tears for you and your boys.
Now I know why you are up in the middle of the night on bco threads.
I hope you can be comfortable and find peace.
Sending love and gentle ((hugs)).
(Jane aka) Zogo
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patty...so admire your strength. Not sure I could be so graceful. Hoping and praying you and your family find some peace and comfort. You are an incredible mom. Your sons are very lucky to have you. Hang in there.
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Good morning, Patty. About your boys, they will not be scarred by your illness. Yes, the are sad to see you suffer. Yes, they are frightened at the thought that they could lose you. But you have made them strong. They have witnessed how strong you have been for them. They have felt the love that you hold for them. They realize that you have fought hard to be there to share in their lives as long as possible. They have learned love, hope, fortitude, faith, kindness, joy, unselfishness, and so much more from you. Those lessons will stay with them forever. There will never be a day when you will not be in their hearts. Years from now, they will be showing your picture to their own children and telling them about all the wonderful times you had together. The good memories will far outshine your illness. I know that you are afraid. We are all afraid. You are a woman of faith, so you know that you are not alone. God is with you and will never leave you. Everyone here is supporting you. When will you have the results of the biopsy?
I am sending you love and prayers, dear Patty.
Hugs from, Lynne
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Good morning, Patty. Thinking of you today.
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Patty~ Good morning. Just checking in to see you today. Sounds like a long night to me. Glad that biopsy wasn't too bad. I am here holding your hand loving you as a sister,wanting only the best for you. Which is “no pain". And always “much love". Will always be two words I have for you sweet Patty! Love you honey. I'll be back later to check on you. Hugs and kisses ~M~
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Good morning, Patty. 🌞 Hugs and prayers.
Enjoy your sister. Cry, laugh and hug her.
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Dear Patty, Your boys have known your love from day one and before. You have been there for them and will be a part of them forever. They have learned so much more from you about how to be good people than you can even imagine. We all try to teach our children what we think is important but it is how we relate to them that builds character even more. Your grandchildren will feel your love through them as well. I think all of us who have been reading your posts or playing the games with you feel that we have come to know you and feel your warmth and we are so much better for it. You are a role model for strength and sharing and love, and that will be forever. Lots of warm hugs, Sara ❤️
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Good morning. Sending prayers of peace and comfort.
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hey Patty girl! You already know the amount of anger I hold towards your exdh. He’s a coward. Not deserving of your time.
I met a sweet lady 5 years ago. She’s younger than me...but she was the social worker in training at my treatment center. Turns out her mother had brain cancer when she was 15. Her Dad counted handle it so he became distant. Her brother was away at college. So she took care of her mother for a year until she’s passed. I feel that’s God put this sweet lady (now a dear friend) in my life to say—kids of cancer patients can’t grow up to be healthy, happy, loving, truly amazing people! And it does give me some comfort.
I can understand being scared. Use your resources and get done what you really want to do. The letters to the boys will be such an amazing gift.
Always in my prayers.
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Dear Patty, enjoy your sisters, write those letters for your sons...hoping your sisters will share the laughter and tears that only sisters can have. Let go and know we are all praying for you. Whatever decisions you make are the best for you. I believe God always guides us. Hugs and Prayers for you and your sisters.
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Patty,
Thinking of you and praying for you!! Know that so many of us care and try to lift you up with our loving thoughts for you. You are in our hearts.
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Patty- Rest easy, dear MBC sister. Wish we weren't in this club together and that we had met another way. I am so thinking of you now-glad the biopsy went OK, except for afterwards. Wishing you a peaceful pain free night. Best, MJH
P.S. I think your XDH may be a certified jerk.
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Patty~ hello sweetheart~I am here for my nightly visit. Hoping that your day wasn’t too bad and I know you have your sister coming. Please ask your sister to give you a hug for me? I just wish I could do something for you. I have been thinking about my two words for the night and i have it:: Sisters love. ❣️ I will be here for my morning rounds, I’ll Hootie Hoo at you then! Love you Patty. ~M~
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Good Morning Patty,
I am checking in for my morning visit. I was hoping you were able to rest a little while last night at least. I didn’t see a lot of posting from you. I am hoping that means sleep. Or some memory making visiting time with your sister. I just wanted to stop by with my two words of the afternoon darling. They are : you’re wonderful: ❣️❣️❣️
Love you sister! ~M~
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Good morning Patty. I pray you have a peaceful day enjoying your family
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Hi Patty - hope you have great day!
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Beautiful!
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