January 2017 Surgery Group
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Welcome Greenstar! Looks like you're already through your surgery if it was January 4, good for you. I hope you are feeling well and getting through everything all right. Wish we could have known about you here sooner so we could cheer you on through surgery, but glad you are here now.
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first thought is what is moose track ice cream and how fast can I get some delivered?!
Second thought is for fightingma- no checkin yet, so let's hope she's ok.
Third thought, lorazepam. Yes yes and yes. Take it. For Several days. Not a lot - 0.5mg. Then take a little Valium the morning of surgery. I took 2.5mg and just floated through.
Final thought: ice cream AND lorazepam?! Might be better than an over water bungalow. Now we are talking. Going to raid freezer and medicine cabinet. Nighty night.
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3bears - fantastic news! Yay!!
Annoyingboob- you crack me up too. If you can find Tillamook ice cream I guarantee it will be the best you've ever had. 🍦🍨
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thank you so much for starting this group. i had the lumpectomy & sentinel node removal 1/6/17; waiting for oncotype test results.
was hospitalized twice at the beginning of 2016for suicidal ideation & was just starting to settle down when the dx arrived.
i am blown away by all the mothers, wives, sisters, teachers & helpers going thru this who are so incredibly brave and have so much to live for. battling the irrational & shameful desire to end one's life while pretending to be valiantly standing up to the illness is almost laughably absurd. perhaps if i pay attention to the journeys this class of January 2017 is undergoing i'll learn how to love life a little more. god bless all of you.
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Shellybeans: I posted the links to some articles on page 14 of the following board (link below) Yes, I do have pre-pectoral TE's. I had to specifically ask my PS to do it, I'm only his 4th pre-pectoral. My BS was leery but my feeling was that's not her jurisdiction so I didn't give her opinion much weight. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more about it... https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/44/topics...
3bears: I couldn't be happier for you! Bet hearing that good news made removing the ace bandage a lot easier!
I drove myself nuts today researching chemo & hormonal treatments & totally dissecting my path report. Of course I haven't gotten my MammaPrint back or met with an oncologist yet...I'm not keeping my head where my feet are that's for sure! Had a little pity party before bc they wouldn't let me have prophylactic mastectomies 7 years ago when I wanted them...On a positive note, hubby & I went out to lunch in town & I actually felt like a normal person for a while & was actually able to be present (there's hope for me yet!) More good news...Finally finished my antibiotics today so I'm definitely having a glass of wine tomorrow! Whoo hoo!
Good nite my dear friends. I echo what fightingirl said...this site keeps me from totally losing what little mind I have left LOL!
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yay 3bears what fantastic news. So happy for you . I hope all of us will receive goid news for those still waiting on path reports and surgery.
Welcome to Greenstar and edge of no return .I hope you can find peace within as I can only imagine your pain and on top of it a dx. of BC .
Love you gals in this club none of us wanted to join , but have found so many new besties.
Have a great weekend ladies .🌈🌴
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eonr - i am not a mental health professional, and i do hope you have a good team keeping an eye on you and keeping you safe through all of this.
i have no experience with suicidal ideations personally, and i don't know the background of your story. i was diagnosed with a panic disorder a few months before my bc diagnosis. this was my first introduction into the world of mental health, and i realized that my situation was really a chemical imbalance and im receiving treatment that has helped immensely. i hope you have a team that can assess your situation and help you get back on track. and if you feel hopeless or don't trust your team, please reach out and find the professionals to help you. they are out there.
we are just 2 weeks in to 2017 and my heart breaks hearing your struggle. we may not be qualified to help you with suicidal ideations, but we are a safe group of nonjudgmental women, and hopefully something in one of our stories will inspire you. good luck. there is no shame. life IS worth living.
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EdgeofnoReturn: like annoyingboob, I also have a chemical imbalance which caused debilitating insomnia. My symptoms were similar to chronic anxiety...Too much norepinephrine vs seratonin.....I've have been on medication for years but sometimes it takes a while to find the one that works best. Finding out you have cancer is a jolt no matter what your mental state so please let your doctor know you need extra help right now so you don't slide back into suicidal thoughts. Glad you decided to join us! This is an amazing group of women!!
There's a board on dealing with the emotional issues of BC which you may also find helpful...
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Good morning ladies,
Shit fairybroke me up at 3 and it's passed 8 here now. Looks like we gained a few new gals last night. Welcome to the group that truly no one wants to join. I have not had my surgery yet and have only told a total of 5 people about my BC so this group of girls are my main support system. Edge of no return, you are one step ahead by being able to tell us about your feelings. Trust that the ladies hear to listen and offer words or encouragement. I'm not fimilar with all the boards (I'm kind of new) but if one was suggested I bet you will find someone who has been there and will relate
Annoyingboob, moose tracks is vanull ice cream with a chocolate swirl and chunks of chocolate covered peanut butter. That was my dinner last night.
Have any of you looked at you labs from blood work? My sodium is low which it never has been before. I had half my thyroid removed in 2010 so I get blood work every 6 months. (Suppose to anyway) my blood work is always very good except with my Vitamin D being low at times. Just curious. I do know that for the past 2 months I have craved salt so bad! I never use salt and I have been salt! I also noticed if I got a headache that sea salt overload would make the head ache go away. ..odd
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Welcome Greenstar!
Annoyingboob, I just love your spirit! If you find moose track ice cream where you live...buy it! It's da bomb! I can never find it in AZ but I always look... one day one store will carry it!
LeftCoastie....jealous! Tillamook ice cream and cheese... oh yum!!
Pugsmama, I hear you on the research and dissection of reports and I'm eventually going to torture myself with more of that trying to decide on whole breast radiation or this brachytherapy. So overwhelming! Yay for the end of antibiotics and enjoy the heck out of that wine!!
Edge of no return, my heart also broke reading your post. I cannot imagine, but I do know this... if you read back through these pages and pages of posts on this thread, you will see not only what an amazing group of women you found here but that we have all felt so many emotions...ups and downs of this roller coaster of a journey. Annoyingboob and Pugsmama said things much better than I ever could but I hope you know that we are here to share it all. The good, the bad and the ugly. My hope is that you discover strengths you didn't know you had through this journey and as we all engage in battle we did not want you did find life is worth living. We are miles apart but doing this together. You are not alone. ❤️️
Elam, agreed! I just love you ladies and come here multiple times a day to draw from the strength, courage, humor and love on these pages.
We expect a rainy day here in AZ today so pugsmama, I think I'm finallly going to get some binge watching in and snuggle time with my dog.
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hi ladies
Well op over.... period pain was the worst for a while then four after getting to ward had a hour of intense boob heat, fainting, sick... hubby had the shock of his life but was amazing. Day to leave in the afternoon due to possible morphine pain drug t went totally out while then sitting on chair... so stayed in...l have Boob drain out wed.. the other 2 the following week...
LYmph nodes removed as two showed cancer !!! Await results .... into meditation. And mindfulness to this helps hugs and love
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Ladies, I too have dealt with panic disorder my entire adult life. About 15 years ago, I finally admitted it to my doctor and she has been a Godsend. We worked on the right medication that balanced my chemical imbalance to the point that I am good in every day life. My only real issue is doctor anxiety. I still needed a lorazepam when I went to doctor appointments or to have tests done. Now my world is doctor's appointments and tests. Using a bit more lorazepam now days but so happy it is available to me. I never talk about this outside of my husband and 2 daughters so it is really nice to be able to be open about it. Edge of no return, we are here for you and many of us understand mental illness. Share away.
Vargadoll, my bs told me to start taking Vitamin D. She said research shows it shows promise in helping prevent breast cancer. It is the only supplement she mentioned to me.
Trying to keep busy this long weekend. Nerves are starting to get to me a bit for my surgery on Tuesday.
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vargadoll, shit fairy visit the last two nights for me too! I finally gave up restful sleep at 5:30 this morning. I haven't been taking any medication as I've only 2 lorazepams left and BS only prescribes to get through surgery date. Meet with oncologist on Wednesday so hopefully he will help a girl out!
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Fightgirl, I wish I had taken the Xanax before I went to bed. I went sound asleep as so as my husband said " c'mere you" and stretched his arm out for me. I didn't think I would need it. I just don't take medication well. Im that girl that will walk around with a headache and not take anything until I can't stand it anymore. I've always been like that. I a tough girl and will not let weakness show ever.
Pugsmama and Annoyingboob are the best at having the right words. I on the other hand am a total Erin Brockovich. Love that movie. I have compassion , patience but my words don't always come out right.
I'm off to baby shower shop. My daughter's baby shower is tomorrow. That should keep my shit fairy at bay for awhile. Nothing like a new little life to make you love life more. #grandbaby#6forme.
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Hi ladies....welcome to the new people - I hope you find comfort and companionship here.
Jazz - I hope you're feeling better....sorry about the nodes results - think positive and look to the next step of recovery.
Today I feel much better...remarkably better in fact. I will continue taking the "good" drugs for today but I expect I will shift to Tylenol by tomorrow. Hubby is gone grocery shopping with our son so when I get a little cleaned up here I'm going to go downstairs and watch some House Hunter's International and take a walk on the treadmill. You guys had me so confused with the "shit fairy" talk...I thought you were talking about actual pooping - which like many of you I have yet to do since Thursday lol. I took a couple of stool softeners this AM and hopefully a brisk walk will get things moving. I have also been taking my son's fibre gummies. I have a 3 year old who only goes every few days and when he does, they are "man poops" as we call them so we've been trying to up his fiber intake lol. Poor kid.
I had asked before about whether I would feel up to going to a hockey game tonight. We ended up selling the tickets, but in fact I think I would have been fine to go - oh well...it could have gone either way. On the upside, I took the money I got back from the tickets and went shopping on-line - very therapeutic lol.
So thought I would share...as I mentioned previously, there is a fantastic charity here in my city which gives a free post-op camisole to all breast cancer patients undergoing surgery. I absolutely love it! It also has little pockets for your drains (my surgeon doesn't use drains but they can be removed) as well as a pocket for a "falsie" boob to hold you over until you get a proper bra, if required. They are a little pricey, but really nice. Here is the link to the one I have. If you haven't had your surgery and it's in your budget I think you would be very happy with it. It is supposed to fit very tight to offer some compression - just so you know. I hope everyone is doing well today and enjoy your weekend.
http://www.amoena.com/us-en/accessories/post-surge...
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Hugs to all being visited by the sh*t fairy, she keeps coming to my house too. Too bad she can't be re-employed as just a plain regular poop fairy for those having trouble pooping after surgery, help us all get our intestines in order rather than our minds out of order.
Cowboy-up, I go on Tuesday as well. Getting nervous, for sure. Doing accounting work today for my business, and then I am going to clean my refrigerator! And maybe sweep in all the dusty corners of my house, of which there are many.
I have one precious Xanax from a short prescription the prior breast surgeon gave me (I started a process in December and then opted to wait after year end as my insurance was switching to a different health system). I am saving it for the night before path reports, unless I break down and demand more before then. I don't want to take them but the stress of waiting may wear me out. Melatonin has helped with sleep a little and my surgeon's nurse said it was OK to take, so you guys may want to consider that if you haven't already.
All right, I'm going to try to step away. If I can manage to distract myself, I won't be back until Monday morning. Or you may see me way before that! Take care this weekend, all.
jinmo
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pugs mama, you are supercool. im impressed you made it out and about just a week out from such a big surgery, and i love that you research the hell out of everything! if i decide on a mx eventually, im totally following your lead and seeking out what i want. my ps said subpec implants only, but i would prefer over pec. so i am watching your every move as the trailblazing superhero you are!! good luck on the mamaprint!
the only research i did last night was looking up moose track ice cream, and their website shows all the flavors and i think i got diabetes just reading it. looks amazing. lifegoals.
jazz im sorry about the fainting. codeine makes me lightheaded, so if you can tolerate the lighter stuff, stick with tylenol and ice.or maybe ask for something different for the hard stuff? you always read about people getting addicted to painkillers - i would never be one of them. i really don't like how i feel on that codeine stuff at all.
no checkins from gma or marimucho. sure hope they are doing ok. its a long weekend - sadly no one told my work, so im working all 3 days of this 3 day weekend - which means im on the computer all weekend. i will try to find a gorgeous picture to help our preop girls visualize serenity.
im so proud of all of us - jan 14 - so we are almost halfway through our month! its like walking knee deep in mud - some days you just take a few steps and barely slog through, and other days you can pick your leg up out of the mud and crush it back down.one day at a time, girls. we got this...
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PugsMama- so happy you could enjoy a lunch out. I've yet to even consider escaping my house except to doctor appointments. I do still have my drain tubes though. Hoping Tuesday is the day they are removed. Please remember what you said to me about the chemo and other treatments, I'm here for you and we will get through this together. I really appreciate how much you have helped me educate myself through this journey. I have read every link you have shared. You are an amazingly strong women and you will get through this next phase of treatment too! We will all be here holding your hand.
I'm sorry for those of you struggling with mental illness on top of a cancer dx. I cannot even imagine how difficult it is. Please know you will be in my prayers and life really is worth living.
That damn shit fairy needs to be taken out! She's tormented all of us enough!!! I have yet to sleep past 3 am since surgery. I too am a huge house hunters fan! However here on the west coast its infomercials at that time of the morning. That's the time I find myself right here reading through these threads and finding peace and comfort knowing I am not alone and I have my virtual sisters right beside me. Thank you!
Hope you all have a wonderful long weekend. 🏖🏝
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I did it! I took a shower! I knew I had a job to do and I got to work doing it. I borrrowed a lanyard from my daughter, hooked my drains through, and I took off that ace bandage. I took off the gauze and padding. I saw the whole view of my chest for the first time. You know what? It's not pretty but I say " Thank God for plastic surgery." I know they are going to fix me up. I didn't even cry.
Wicked- Thanks for your encouragement! And for saying you felt like a bad ass super hero the first time you looked. I felt like a girl in the army. A soldier marching into war. I had a job. I did it. I'm brave and I'm proud.
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yesssss 3 bears!!! Not only an accomplishment in facing the new you for the first time, but I bet it felt good to rinse off, get clean, and watch those hospital anxieties flush down the drain along with the dirty suds!! Nothing can stop you now!!
Here's a pic for the girls gearing up for next week. I like it bc you are just walking down that jetty to meet up with the rest of us!
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vargadoll, this one is for you!!!
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Dang it! It won't open annoyingboob. I love that when I start to type any of your gals names my auto correct finishesit for me!
I'll be back DH is home. Going to cook dinner
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cowboy, my partner in panic and reduction. I was a hot mess before surgery. I fainted during my initial core bx and was so worried I would do the same with the wire locs. I increased my lexapro after my diagnosis in dec and I think it took a few weeks to kick in, but now that it has my mind doesn't race anymore and I only used the lorazepam a few days before surgery and none since. And I didn't faint. And I haven't had any panic, thank god. So do what you need to do medication-wise to get through this.
It was so important for me to realize that my mind racing and all the vertigo and presyncopal episodes I was having was a chemical imbalance. Not me going crazy or some deadly illness. I've just been taking medication for a few months, and I feel no stigma or shame. I just mention it bc maybe it can benefit someone else out there. This breast cancer gig is a tough one. If any of you feel unstable, tell your doctor. Get help. There are treatments, groups, and different kinds of therapy that is really beneficial. Mine started as dizziness so I thought something was really wrong. It's not a relief to have a panic disorder, it kinda sucks, but I can manage it now. So if anyone else has weird symptoms or stress they can't manage, please mention it and get the help you need !
Xx
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have been spending this day the way I wish I'd done on my week off for recovery. I've been watching the OA on Netflix! On my butt all day and I feel zero guilt! I did wash some towels so I guess I got something done! I just realized how much I needed a day like this
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yesss fightingirl!! Especially after meeting with the oncs and getting information overload, it's good to detox on the sofa, so yay for rain!
I don't meet with oncs until next week and the week after, so I'm taking a break too. Blurgh. Mind too full to process any of that just yet. Need Pilates.
Vargadoll, it was a funny video of a big moose in Canada licking the salt off of a car. This isn't the same one but similar idea - I thought of you needing salt too!!
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annoyingboob-- I like the picture you posted for all the girls going next week. What happened to all the girls going next week? There's no one on the list until January 25.
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3bears - Not sure what's going on,but trying to do what I can to get everyone to show up properly. Glad you were able to get through a shower - I bet it felt wonderful!
Fightingirl - Do you recommend OA? That may be my next binge show!
Getting my fill of sports this weekend. Family all have Monday off so trying to figure out what to do. Hope everyone is doing well!
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I know its cowboy and jinmo on Tuesday, and there was one other day this week with surgeries planned, but a lot the following week. not sure what happened to our tally, holler if you need us ladies - im in the cabana tethered to computer all weekend
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I've been reading right along and ready to walk down that path to my bungalow soon. I am feeling a sense of relief already just getting closer to the day. I was diagnosed on 11/3 and I've had a hard time thinking of anything else since then. I like to overload myself with information, too. It's a paradox, the more I learn the less afraid I feel, but sometimes the fear part latches on to paths of information about worst case scenarios. I was trying to keep myself present and doin my normal things. I live with my boyfriend and I do some drawing and painting, running sometimes but less recently, and I can walk to my office job usually if it's not too cold. I've been extra anxious these past couple months. I expected I might get breast cancer at some point, but wasn't thinking it'd be so soon. I don't have any kids but I still might want them. If it turns out I have to do chemo I'm gonna look into fertility preservation for sure.
My mom and my grandma had breast cancer also but neither of us tested positive for any of the associated genes. My mom is now a survivor of 10 years, she just had her last oncology appointment and then got the news about me. It's nice, she used to be a nurse and is happy to help me while I'm recovering.
You all are seriously great people and I've been able to mostly keep myself just checking this thread as opposed to digging too much into what-if scenarios elsewhere. It's keeping me grounded. And for the most part thinking of pleasant what-if scenarios like lovely beaches.
I'm so ready to get that full pathology report. It's great to hear from everyone and I'm so glad recoveries are going well. I also have high anxiety and was taking lorazepam before all this, but this sort of made my other problems less threatening. When I first had the ultrasound and then they had to get the BS and she went straight into doing a biopsy I couldn't stop shaking for awhile after, they sat me down and brought me little snacks.
I accidentally shaved one of my armpits this morning! Oops! They told me not to for 3 days before surgery! Just did it without thinking. Hope they don't cancel the whole thing lol :P
For about 2 months before all this I was listening to a podcast at work with the comedian Tig Notaro, who had a double mastectomy and did jokes about her experience with cancer. And then I thought well, looks like I'm joining ya, Tig. Listening to her comedy after my diagnosis has helped also
. And there was a Netflix documentary about her story too. Congrats on everyone's day to day victories! Showers! Going out to lunch! Ice cream! And of course poop success! And we're all together for the struggles and frustrations too. ❤
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OK, I think it's back to where everyone can see it... that was weird!
Laastra - I'm sorry to hear about you having to deal with BC at such a young age. I hope that chemo is not in the picture and that after your surgery life can continue down the path that it was meant to take before BC decided to force you onto a side road. The side roads are not what we planned, but sometimes there are things you see and do on that road that can actually make your life better that you expected. The last few months, while going through treatment I have gotten closer to my kids and reconnected with some good friends. It's been nice. I've also learned who I won't be wasting much time on in the future, but I see that as a positive too! I have "met" some of the most amazing ladies both sitting next to me in the chem chair as well as on this board and I have shared things with them that I wouldn't share with people that I've known for years! Laughing is what has kept me sane through all of this, so I guess I'll be checking out Tig soon! Best of luck on Monday!
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