Is anyone going flat or living flat?
I had a right breast mastectomy in 2014. I've been living with one breast for three years, wearing a mastectomy bra & prosthetic. My left breast is a size D and hangs low and I get sweaty and rashes during the hot summer months.
I met with a PS but am not a good candidate for breast reconstruction because I've had surgeries on my stomach area, with radiation and chemo on my behind and part of my thighs because of color-rectal surgery 17 years ago.
I don't feel comfortable taking muscle from my back. I'm 59 years old.
I'm deciding on another mastectomy or breast reduction/lift from a D to a B. This might be a weird question but did anyone feel weird with the surgery being close to their heart?
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Hi Pabbie, I am 2.5 weeks out from a bilateral mastectomy.
I did wonder how weird it would be to have my heart sort of "right there", no longer protected by a breast. I have found it to be far less noticeable than I thought it would be. I thought it through more after surgery, after all my heart is behind a nice protective rib cage and a thin layer of muscle that they didn't mess with. So that might apply to your worries too...your heart has its own nice little spot, and your breast is separated from it by a sort of wall.
I am 50, happy with my flatness.
Lots of ladies over in the Living without Reconstruction can tell you more stories, and there are uni ladies too. All the best to you!
jinmo
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I can't say it's anything I ever felt weird about or noticed. After all, they removed breast tissue and fat, not my rib cage.
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LOVE being flat and fabulous! There is a facebook closed group called 'flat and fabulous' that has thousands of us supporting each other posting pics. All body types can rock being flat. And there are so many benefits to living naturally. You can see photos of women, the clothing options that are endless and just see the joy of women living life flat.
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Hi: I couldn't find your group on Facebook. I would love to join. Thank you.
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Thank you. Sending you good thoughts as you heal.
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thank you.
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My MX was on the left. And they had to take the chest muscle because the tumor was sitting right on it and they had to get clean margins. (No one ever told me beforehand that might happen.) And yes, it is kind of weird to see the skin pressed right up to the ribs with no padding underneath at all. If you look close you can see the heartbeat between the ribs. Yes it does freak me out a little, but it is what it is, nothing can be done to change it, so... shrug.
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All here is the link to the flat and fabulous FB group. YOu have to ask to join. https://www.facebook.com/groups/FlatANDFabulous/
It's not mine, but I'm a member and absolutely love the pics and support I get.
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Just a thought pabbie, but if the heat and rashes under your silicone prosthesis are your biggest problem, you might just try a knitted knocker and see if it works better for you. I've been wearing mine more and more, and I've come to really like it. It's soft and breathable, much more comfortable on my chest wall. I'm a D cup as well, and I started off adding a small smooth river stone to replace some of the weight. Now I rarely bother. And I only wear my silicone foob if I'm wearing a tight clingy top. Hope this helps.
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I had my BMX June, 2015. No regrets. I still haven't been fitted for a foob. I've always hated bras, rarely wore one. My surgery was easy. I didn't need to take ibuprofen, let alone pain meds. I was up and out (albeit slowly) the day after surgery
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I'm living flat and I hate it. I couldnt make a decision about recon at first, but once I did i was really ready. I was scheduled for DIEP Feb 5, but my elderly mother is dying of kidney failure so I decided that this isn't the right time for elective surgery. Im going to use all my vacation time dealing with her illness and settling the estate, and I used all my sick leave on a hysterectomy last fall. So, it will be at least another 6 months before I can have recon. I also need a knee replacement. When the pain is bad I think maybe I should do that before I do recon. But if I do it will set recon at least 1 year away. In the meantime I live flat. Thank God for realistic looking prostheses.
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mustlovepoodles, so sorry you are having to delay. It's hard to have made your choice and then have to wait, no matter if you are choosing to de-boob or re-boob.
I hope your mom's passing is peaceful. You're right that it would be worse if you were in surgical recovery and trying to help her but unable.
Wishing you problem-free non-flat fabulousness when your time comes.
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hsant , I've always hated bras as well, especially since no matter how well fitted mine were they dug hard into my shoulders (the joys of large breasts, I guess) and were always so uncomfortable. I was big enough that it was even more uncomfortable to NOT wear a bra and shelf bra tank tops were just laughably insufficient.
Being flat has been amazing; no bra needed ever again, no underboob sweat, no shoulder pain, no upper back pain, no tension headaches from lugging the big things around (even inside of a bra), I can't say there has ever been a single second that I've missed having breasts. No plans to ever wear a bra again or get fitted for prosthetics. I love having them gone and have never been as comfortable physically and mentally as I am without them.
The idea of having prosthetic or reconstructed ones back is just one big 'LOL NOPE!" for me.
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jnmo, thanks for the support. I'm so grateful that I have 3 sisters to help shoulder the load. Death by kidney failure is slow and drawn out. Thankfully, it is not painful. You just decline, sleep more, eat less, and one day you just quietly drift off to sleep never to waken. A lot of people say it's a "good death."
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Mustlovepoodles, I'm in a similar situation to yours. I was told I'd have to wait for reconstruction after my mastectomy due to the need for heavy radiation. It took several long months for me to heal. I finally saw a plastic surgeon in November, just as my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers. The last few months have been devoted to setting up care supports for her. Now I'm thinking I might wait until fall, when my kid goes away to college. My diagnoses and treatment were tough on the whole family, so I might rather wait until he's out of the house before subjecting myself to more surgery.
Besides, I really need to devote myself to work, with those tuition bills coming up.
But I hate being flat. Thank goodness for prostheses.
Sending good wishes to you and your mother. I hope things go peacefully for her.
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Someone on another board put it best. All of the options (but flat) are fake. It's just a matter if you want it inside your body or outside your body. None of us can get our boobs back (I"m personally glad about that I was too large for my frame and they weren't easy to manage) so you just have to decide if you want the choice to remove foobs at will or never.
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Was anxious about how I would feel flat,but still 2 years later not a day goes by that I know it was the right decision for me. Have feeling in my chest and mobility in my shoulders that might be impeded by implants life is too short to go through more pain. Hubby married me for my smile not boobs. Only wear foobs for dress up once a month at the most. Have a wardrobe that drapes over my chest. No bras to deal with eithe
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Chloes, I too have a lot of my feeling back in my chest. I wasn't expecting that at all. And I can finally run without holding my boobs. : )
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hello
Just a small bit about my situation. Have been concerned all my adult life due to mom's ovarian and breast cancer. Mammo as early as early 30s. Diagnostic mammo every 15 months at a same place!!!My no bra habit in my house was the reason for the recent mammo bc there was no symptom. Went in about 35days ago and found out DCIS on left IDC stage 2B grade 2 on the right w axillary lymph nodes removal. It was a mega scale earthquake! BMX is scheduled exactly a week from now.
No recon for me is mainly based on the DX. I would have given a thought if DX were a bit lighter. The psychological trauma was unbearable and I simply refuse to add more if I can help it. I hated bra since the day one and I am flat chested. However I know I would cry a river when I see myself flat for the first time. I also know no recon is worth for me at this point in my life.
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hello
Just a small bit about my situation. Have been concerned all my adult life due to mom's ovarian and breast cancer. Mammo as early as early 30s. Diagnostic mammo every 15 months at a same place!!!My no bra habit in my house was the reason for the recent mammo bc there was no symptom. Went in about 35days ago and found out DCIS on left IDC stage 2B grade 2 on the right w axillary lymph nodes removal. It was a mega scale earthquake! BMX is scheduled exactly a week from now.
No recon for me is mainly based on the DX. I would have given a thought if DX were a bit lighter. The psychological trauma was unbearable and I simply refuse to add more if I can help it. I hated bra since the day one and I am flat chested. However I know I would cry a river when I see myself flat for the first time. I also know no recon is worth for me at this point in my life.
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Rebamacfan1: I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. You came to the right place for support. The psychological trauma can take your breath away. Please try and be kind, compassionate, and patient with yourself as you go through this journey.
While I was getting radiation in 2008, a fellow BC patient showed me her flat chest. And you know what, it didn't shock me as much as I thought it would. It actually looked okay to me. I was always a flat-chested woman growing up who got away with not wearing bras. Boobs were not a big thing for me.
I had a right breast mastectomy only in 2014. And I've gained a lot of weight., so my "good" breast is a size D per my plastic surgeon. After living with one breast for 3 years., I thinking about having another mastectomy on the "good" boob or a breast reduction.
"Flatsy Patsy"/"A Surfboard with a Bump" as I was called growing up., can't believe I now have a size D boob.
Take care of yourself. We're here if you need us.
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Rebamac, I felt the same way about reconstruction. Fake boobs were not for me. Good thing I didn't have immediate recon because I suffered massive tissue necrosis (death) and lost a substantial amount of skin and fat. No doubt I would have lost all the recon on both sides. It took 16 weeks to fully heal.
Around 6 months post-op I received some Knitted Knockers, soft, light-weight breast forms. The first time I put them on I had an immediate surge in self-confidence. A month later, i got real prostheses and ive worn them just about every day since.
I was very surprised at my reaction to the Knitted Knockers and prostheses. I really thought I was okay with being flat, but it turns out I am not. Thankfully, there's no rush ; I can have recon wgen I'm ready.
Btw, have you had any genetic testing? I'm asking because of your young age and family history.
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I had a double mastectomy in May 2015 and have been going flat ever since. I do use latex boobs to improve my looks for special occasions, like when I got married last August. I was not a good candidate for reconstruction and wouldn't have done it anyway. The surgery was not bad at all, my heart is still strong despite the surgery and several years of chemotherapy.
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Emberlea, welcome to Breastcancer.org! Sorry your circumstances have brought you to our Community but we're glad you found us and decided to share your experiences with everybody here.
If there's anything you need help with or have any comment for us, please feel free to contact us via private message. We're always here.
Again, welcome to the community!
The Mods
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I'm currently doing chemotherapy (last one is scheduled for February 21). Surgery for my double mastectomy is scheduled for March 22. I am not interested in breast reconstruction, and I'm actually looking forward to being flat. Thank you for posting about the Facebook group.
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Hi, I'm new here (DISCLAIMER: RECONSTRUCTION IS GREAT IF YOU BELIEVE IN IT AND WANT IT it is just not for me - Im a great grandmother) and I HATE the idea of FrankenBoobs. I did a lot of research and man oh man why put yourself through the multiple surgeries, the risk of infection, the risk of cancer hiding behind the implant and how ugly some of these reconstructions go (I know my sister went through it and it was not a good outcome). Years of pain for what? So someone else can look at my boobs. No thank you. And wearing fake heavy expensive boobs (been there done that and threw them in the closet). No I'm flat, my husband love me, I like me, and this is who I am. So now I try to get used to other people's reaction to me. And there is the rub.
When I was going through chemo I had absolute strangers, idiots err no I mean individuals tell me that chemo kills and the only thing that cures cancer is becoming a vegan (yes really), or when some stranger saw me in a store without hair, I was told many times that their dad or mom or dog had cancer (pause.... wait for it) and they died. Oh I could go on and on. So why oh why do I care what strangers think of this decision -- and yet, and yet I do. sigh.
So here I am, I hope I can find some support as I pursue the flat path forward!
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I think everyone needs to think long and hard about if they want recon or not. You are the one who has to continue to live, thrive and be happy with whatever choice you make. It is your decision and I hope that everyone in your life can support whatever decision you make.
I will say, that if you use bco forums to help you decide (i.e. you read the experiences of others) you may be getting a stilted view, as those who have no trouble or are happy with their recon tend to post less than those who are having problems. I was a 55 year old grandmother (though my age had no bearing on it) at the time of my bmx. I had one step implants, no multiple surgeries, no frankenboobs, no pain beyond the healing period . My implants look pretty much like my natural breasts though firmer than the average 60 year(my current age) old's breasts, but otherwise great. I did recon for one and only one reason... I wanted it it, What others thought did not play in to my decision at all.
So, please do what you feel most comfortable with, but do remember there are many, many women who are very happy and have had wonderful results with all types of recon. No need for anyone to put the procedures down just because it's not for them!
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Hi pinkwashmenot, there are lots and lots of women here who don't choose reconstruction. I am a newer one, only about 4 weeks out and very happy so far.
exbrnxgirl you are so totally right, there's a selection bias on these boards (or any forum about anything), not just about reconstruction but about any topic: People post when they have a issue that they need to discuss. It's just like the news anchors never say on the news, "Well, everything went fine today in city x. Nobody got murdered and things seemed kind of normal."
pink, another place with many women who decide not to reconstruct is the Flat and Fabulous Facebook page. You have to fill out a two question form and it takes a couple days to get approved, but it is a very lively and active page. I never used my Facebook account, never thought it was worthwhile, but that group is definitely worthwhile.
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Yes. F&F is WONDERFUL... since this is on the living without recon board, I'm going to post my true feelings... and those with Recon need to understand this board is for us non-recons to really be honest, so if anyone tries to shame us for saying implants are FRANKENBOOBS (they are).. then shame on you.
These lumps are fake, they are numb, they cause pain, they are ONLY about looking good in clothes - and the secret is that us flatties can look fantastic in clothes sans boobs. Flat and Fabulous has a wonderful support and there are thousands of women on there who have tried implants and after years of pain or complications they explant and finally own their true bodies. Scars make us real and human.. All the complications one can have (and the potential lymphoma from the impants) is enough to really reconsider getting them.
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I'm flat since the initial surgery. It's interesting you say that about your heart. I definitely put my hand over mine more - there's something comforting to me about having it right under there, thumping away. I can't really feel it - just very faintly - but it's more just knowing.
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