My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Candy, I think we can all understand where you are coming from when it comes to a lack of energy. I would have walked to the hospital but as I stepped outside, I could not imagine, walked to the bus stop, walked through to get to MRI and came home in cab, just no energy and most days I honestly have no energy. I hope your energy can come up soon and get better.
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Candy, it's good to see you here, and I wholeheartedly second your sentiment that life is hard. Hugs to you.
Kikomoon, sending you love and hopes that you can start your next treatment asap, and that it will work very well for you.
Delighted to hear good news from Emac and Goldens and Cookie, thank you for sharing, it always makes me smile hugely to read the relief from stable scan results.
Thinking of you Mel with your scans coming up. And Elderberry is waiting for scan results, I believe? What a roller coaster of emotional bs we are all on!
Just electronically filed my taxes this morning, the government considers me married still for tax purposes, so that's a non-fun start to the day. Working on gratitude this morning... which is sort of kind of working? Need more tea! And some kind of delicious pastry, please.
Love to all ❤️
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SFcakes-Must be difficult filing your taxes, all those reminders of your loss. I'm filing mine today but due to a quirk in one W-2, I can't efile so I have to make copies and go to the post office.
Pat (Sadiesservant) how are you doing?
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Hi - I'm new here and just am looking for something. Not really sure what that is and I'm also sorry if I'm in the wrong place. I'm 29 and was just diagnosed with MBC. Spread to bones, funny how these teeny tiny specks in my pelvis and spine have just appeared. I just had my son about 8 months ago. I guess I missed the signs thinking it was a clogged duct or mastitis. They are set to start me on carbo and taxel this upcoming week. Waiting on genetic testing and tumor marker testing to come back in. Not sure if I should rush to get a second opinion or what to do. I'm scared to death. They barely caught the bone mets...honestly was a total accident / incidental finding on a follow up MRI. Anyways hi and good morning to all.
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mpan, I’m not sure if this is the place you’re looking for either but you are welcome here. Also, you didn’t miss the signs, you’re not supposed to be thinking anything about breast cancer at 29 and so soon after pregnancy. I was diagnosed with bone mets at 41, older than you but still “too young”, it happens. The chemo plan sounds standard, as they’ll want to treat it aggressively and knock it back. I’m sorry you’re facing this and I hope you have support at home, just know you’ve got it here too.
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Candy, I always feel a bit guilty when I don't comment on every posts. I haven't been kicked out of this group for it (yet).
mpan, wow and welcome. I'm glad you found us, but so sorry you're here. I don't even know what to say...
Carol
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Mpan, Welcome but sorry you're now in the club no one wants to join. If you want a second opinion, ask for one. Doctors are OK with this and it may be reassuring that you're on the right track.
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thanks all. weird place to be. but at least people seem nice. thanks for the welcome. I'm going to get another opinion. I already had a second appt with another hospital system so I'm going to take it. Thanks for the responses. Its nice to see people out here, it gives me some hope I'll get to see my son grow up. Sorry to be a downer, I'm working on my positivity haha.
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Hi All. I’m here, doing okay (more or less) but, like Candy I’m finding life is getting harder these days. I pop into the living room but don’t seem to have the energy to post. I am dealing with some pain, waiting for rads to my left hip on the 3rd and some issues on the right side due to my ever expanding liver. But spring is finally poking its head around the corner which gives me a bit of a lift.
mpan, I’m so sorry you find yourself here but this is a friendly bunch so you will have plenty of shoulders to lean on. And no, you did not drop the ball. I was originally diagnosed at 38 which was considered young. At your age it’s unthinkable. Sending a virtual hug and wishes for treatments that knock it back for a good long time
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Mpan, you are in the right place for sure, we have support, friendly people and more here, sometimes there will be info people understand regarding treatment or questions to ask you MO. We are glad you are here. Take a seat on the enormous couch. We are in your pocket meaning we offer continual support to you and each other.
Well, me yapping about a food discovery again. I have a certain brand of peanut butter here in Canada, only one that I enjoyed for many years. Kraft peanut butter. When I did a shop through the online walmart grocery, I noticed Great Value peanut butter was just about 1/2 the price. I did purchase it and it is close to the Kraft but not quite so my clever idea is to just mix the two up with each other. I tried it and all the stirring made a super creamy peanut butter that gives me yummy peanut butter and I can stretch out the two brands and save some money.
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mpan~I am just so sorry that I am seeing a 29 year old posting on MBC boards. I'm so sorry honey. Post anything you'd like anytime. Let it out. 8 month old. ? Are you amazing or what. ? Just. Take a deep breath and get a plan together. I'm seven and a half years out and fighting for it alll. Mae is right the plan is usually on the mark. I've been taking oral .. looks like they are being aggressive for a remission. Just in the bone is very manageable. I'll be including you in my thoughts for sure. Hugs sweet woma
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mpan: I am so sorry to see a such a young woman here. Young and with a child. This is the place to go because we understand your fear, your anger, the whole sh*tshow of MBC. Please don't ever blame yourself. We are here for you.
Mel's living room is very very large!!!
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mpan- welcome to Mel's but I am sorry you find yourself here at only 29 years old with a sweet young baby. Yes get a second opinion. The treatment plans are best to knock this cancer out . We are all right with you with knowledge and support!
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Emac- yay for stable!
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mpan Echoing everyone else here, sorry that you have to deal with this at such a young age! You will never be alone here and on this forum. I see you are also TN, over the past couple of years there have been many more drugs added to the arsenal. Yes get the second opinion and be your own advocate. Take lots of notes and ask many questions . Take it one step at a time and this is not your fault at all. Big hugs(((())))
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Emac - Happy dancing with ya! Congrats on stable. Also the trace cardiac effusion is a very very small amount of fluid around the sac of the heart. Some radiologists mention it and some may blow it off they will take a look at it again on your next scan. I was a CT tech for many years and have read so many reports with varying styles and opinions. I agree with you not to be too concerned.
sf-cakes Sorry you started your day with such a painful reminder. It just plain stinks. Hugs
saddieservent Sending you healing vibes for some pain relief. Glad you are still able to find pleasure in Spring's arrival.((()))
Candy No place better to be understood than here. Hugs.
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hugs to sf cakes. Thoughts are with you sweet friend.
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Good morning
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SF cakes, always in your pocket sending support.
Mae, pup looks adorable.
Looks like clearing someone's garbage tomorrow is in my future. Some dummy put 6 HUGE bags of garbage out back. I am wondering if a university student moved out as I think the year is over. The residents here will probably not move them as some just don't care. Emailed the property manager but they are useless too. I try hard to not let silly stuff bother me but I was up most of the night stewing about it. Have to learn to not stress about relatively small issues as people have worse problems than me.
Today is not a busy day, doing up some clothes in the laundry, spinning them and using heated dryer rack so they dry faster. The clothes are hung as if already in the closet and that makes it easier. There are some cloths that need doing but I think I will leave those until later. So glad I don't pay electric and have all these ways to dry things.
Edited to shorten the length. Laundry, pretty much done. Breakfast with ground beans, bran and rice and egg shell powder was not good. Had I stuck with bran, it would have given a better texture and less little bit of crunch. No more egg shell spice grinding or rice flour as is silly.
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mpan - ditto on what everyone else said. I’m certain we all sat in shock reading your post - 29 w/baby and now MBC. Unreal. We’re here to help in any way we can. This group is the best - we delight in good results and share the pain of the not so good. I was 34 when originally dx w/stage 2 BC. Second dx at age 43 and MBC dx at 64 almost 4 years ago. I’ve seen our 2 daughters graduate high school, college, get married and have grandkids (one just has grand dogs). My goal is to see my grandkids do the same. I wish the same for you. HUGS🤗🤗🤗🤗
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Mae- too cute! Who wants to get out of a warm bed in the morning!
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Thanks all for the warm welcome. I'm still a bit shocked to be here too but I appreciate the kindness. My son is fantastic and definitely is a big part of my will to live and make this work. You all are inspirations to me, really thank you for including me. It's been a bit of whirlwind since finding out. They missed the bone mets off the bat so was a bit of shock when they came up as an incidental finding. I swear my brain is working on overtime been feeling off since I found out officially on Thursday, lightheaded and a bit off. I hear that this is the worst of it, the time between diagnosis and starting treatment... Just trying to get back to eating more and sleeping as much as I can (when my son allows haha). Anyways - hope you all have a wonderful Sunday. It's cold here in the midwest today... warm tomorrow. Hoping to walk a bit tomorrow after my second opinion.
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Mpan, best you can do is one day at a time, regular routines are great as well. You are now living with cancer that happens to be stage 4. You are always living with it, never frame as dying from. The second thought causes all the appointments, scan and dx to feel 100 times worse. Bone mets, if they stay in the bone and respond to treatment have a long survival rate for sure. We are happy to meet you in the club no one wants to join.
My breakfast was a fail. Grinding up the canned beans with wheat bran AND rice flour AND ground eggshells for the calcium made a very strange texture. I ate it but for grinding beans to avoid mush, wheat bran will do and has been fine in the past.
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Mae, who can be sad when you wake up to that! Too sweet.
Thanks for those healing vibes Cookie. Today not too bad which is surprising as I definitely over did it in the garden yesterday. It was so lovely out. I had my first sit in my egg chair for the year and actually got quite warm.
In addition to puttering in the garden, I spend most of my time trying to get rid of as much of the excess in the house as I can. It weighs heavily on me given my situation and the fact that my mom will be 92 soon. I am so worried about how she will manage as she was a big collector and, at one time, thought she would open an antique store. Plus, depression era child, she never threw things away. As a result we have a LOT of stuff and folks just aren’t as interested as they once were. (God forbid that you have to wash a dish by hand! LOL) Mom makes it challenging as she either wants too much or wants it to go to “the right place”. Sigh… And have any of you noticed how hard it can be to give stuff away? This morning I was looking at a charity that distributes arts and crafts supplies. Great! But then I started reading their “rules” for donations. Drop off once a week in a two hour evening window. Everything has to be nicely organized. Long list of things they want but knitting needles need to be in a case, etc. etc. Good grief. I just don’t have the energy for that…..
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Sadiesservant - contact some of the schools around you to see if the art departments are interested in the arts and crafts…..even elementary schools have art teachers
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Hi Mel and friends in the living room,
@Sadieservant aka Pat, i am waving to you from Port Townsend, WA! I don't live there but love to visit. It was a glorious day here in the PNW and I am happy you enjoyed it! I have a lot of empathy for your situation with your mom and her amazing collections. I sell real estate and we often help people downsize, which usually means reducing a lot of their belongings. There are a lot of estate sale companies that can help. Estate sales pivoted to online so not all will need to have an actual sale at your home, and plenty of people who are young have estate sales (it's not all estates, if you know what I mean). I have found the online sales easier on clients. They organize all the items, photograph and post the items, ship them to the buyer and take a %. I don't know if there are other fees involved. What doesn't sell they have picked up for donation (or take to a dump, sadly but try to minimize the dumping). The important part is that they coordinate and package everything so there is minimal work for you to do. Check online to see if there are any of these companies near you that can help - they don't need to know any personal info (aka your dx). Mid Century modern (dishes/knick knacks and furniture) from the late 1950's and 1960's is very popular on these sites. It is really smart as we all age (and have aging parents) to start gifting/ donating items now. Local Real Estate agents might have some referrals to a good estate company, too.
SFCakes, sorry for the IRS...ugh.
Mpan211, adding a friendly hello to you. You have found a wonderful place where people understand the surreal journey you have started.
Hope all have a nice day today.
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Thanks for the suggestions. As far as estate auctions go, it’s unfortunately out of the question as long as my mom is alive. She would literally lose her mind as I’ve seen what some of it goes for. There is one outfit in Canada called Maxsold that I think is a borderline scam. Good quality antiques and jewelry literally sell for a couple of dollars. It’s a travesty. At the end of the day the owners would have been better putting everything on the street as free. Not all of them are like that but mom would have a heart attack if items went for nothing. (Which is part of the problem - she remembers the hey days.) 😊
I am looking at earmarking some of the highest quality items for an auction house in Vancouver - with an inventory and instructions for where it needs to go. Thankfully when the time comes neither one of us will know what things sold for! Ha!
So, in other news, it looks like I have my second UTI since getting my nephrostomy tubes. Grrrr. I don’t want to be on antibiotics constantly but not sure what I can do to avoid this. I have upped my fluid intake but either not enough or that alone is not sufficient. Bummer…
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Sadiesservant, I am sorry about the UTI. If you have trouble getting rid of less valuable items or places are being too particular, there should be an everything free page on facebook for your area where you can post pictures of what you are giving away and adv that is pickup only, should make some of that easier for you.
Was a nice sunny day, supposed to be the same tomorrow, depending on when I get to bed and get up tomorrow, I may go to the mall to get some mall walking in, depends on when my egg cooker arrives. Can't wait for some egg salad. It is also small enough to live in the oven when not in use. Sigh, if only I had the option to have chosen a 2 bdrm apartment hear, far bigger than my place and actual counter space.
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Good morning, sunny as the weather promised, supposed to be warmer from here out. Few things on the agenda, going to move the garbage out back to where it will be collected. If I get tired, I will see if it will fit in a bin. I imagine someone moved out as stated before. I decided it bothered me less. If I have to put in the bin, take one out a week. We will see.
I will be walking but doing household stuff first so laundry on the go, soaking a cloth with grease stains in bathroom sink. Using tiny bit of oxyclean white revive liquid and sunlight lemon laundry bar. I keep it in a container with water so it is usable as a laundry or soaking boost. Just pour some in laundry or soak and add more hot water on top. Do the same with regular soap for dishes or foaming soap boosters.
Cannot decide breakfast, thinking I need a meal with hash browns as I am trying to cut down on foods stored in there or find smaller containers to keep stuff in. Possibly go with beans, beefless ground and a hashbrown, should be decent. Save the egg for lunch. I am also waiting for my egg cooker to make hardboiled eggs or eggs salad. Looking forward to that. Wee pancakes function as dessert right now, love them but they are not breakfast.
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Good morning all, coffee cheers to the official start to spring. We all can use some nice weather and colorful flowers in bloom. I also plan on fitting in a walk around my bloodwork appt before treatment on Wednesday.
Mara You sound like you have a busy day today. I am always fascinated by your laundry tips, I feel like I need to step up my game after I read your posts. Enjoy your walk, glad the weather is better for you.
Sadiesservant Ugh UTI's are so annoying, I'm sorry that you have to deal with that also. Hope you get quick relief.
Hopes of healing and good vibes for everyone this week .
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