My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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it’s very spooky looking outside with this smoke all around. They closed the golf course for league today do my ds couldn’t play. Air quality poor. My DH did however get out on the course before they closed it. His eyes are really red and watering tonight. So it’s definitely an issue. I’ve never seen Anything like it. Even with 911, it never drifted to pa. I’m just ready for it to clear up. It’s really gross. I want it clear again. The fires aren’t even contained yet. It’s always something strange going on. Hope everyone is st least holding on. Hugs for all.
I did see the mention on instagram that Shannen confirmed brain Mets. I thought so because of the mask reel. But still heartbreaking. I honestly wish I was a magician. Goodnight sweet ladies.0 -
Mel It is gross, smoky and very damp this morning. Hoping it clears for the weekend since it's grad party and wedding season. Hubby wasn't happy to have to stay in , unfortunately he is 56 and a heart failure patient after his heart attack last year. We are a mess but you wouldn't know it looking at us, I guess that's a positive lol.
Mara I agree it's disorienting to walk distances with a mask on. I exercised indoors yesterday because of these conditions, although Daisy got her morning walk.
Goldens Glad mets are stable, hope the effusion is a small one, fingers crossed.
Hey Tanya good to see ya!
sfcakes I totally understand I wasn't mentally ready to go at 56. I worked in healthcare and it just became too much to handle it all. I miss my sweet patients and my wonderful coworkers, so it is an adjustment. I felt like cancer made the decision for me and I hate that! I'm sorry that it's not on your terms, it stinks! Although now you will be able to focus on you and wake up each day and choose what you want to do.
Think I'm laying low today and getting housework done since the weather isn't ideal. Sending love and strength to all who need extra today.
Still thinking of Pat/Sadie.Hugs
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SF cakes, I felt similar leaving my job at 44 after the whole brain mets surgery, rads and recovery happened. I knew the stress would be too much, worked for a call center from home. I do wish I could find a job that would be from home or on weekend that did not involve customers. I don't need much either. I have not honestly looked either if I am honest. My doctor says don't work but I can make a 1000 before one disability is cut though unsure about the other part, would have to research it. For now, I treat the surveys, games etc as a quasi job since I do use those to boost my income.
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Thinking about a lazier day today, laundry and usual housework done but money making is the priority. I like to pay for groceries from surveys and mobile games. Other than that, just eating. Had small meal 1/4 cups white rice, 1/4 cups black beans, 1/4 cups beefless ground and shredded cheese. Ground up the beans, ground, cheese and some wheat bran for the ground beef textured, added with precooked white rice. Added some chicken broth, small amount as it was not for soup, just flavour. Heated 60 secs in the microwave, added salt, steak seasoning, little bit of ranch dressing and bit of mayo. Nice small meal but filling. Lunch probably an egg sandwich to plan to toast the english muffin separately and make eggs in the sandwich maker.
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In an effort to perk up the garden a bit, I just ordered 80L of compost and I have no idea what that means. We had a (light hearted) disagreement over the metric system as I refused to believe 80L = 80Kg (it doesnt, its like 30kg, or a really heavy suitcase), which blew hubs mind because apparently he learned in school all those things were equal. Either way, a bunch of dirt in a bag is coming our way tomorrow or Saturday. Got some herb seeds and some flower seeds we can still sow this late outside, and we'll get some lavender, tomato, chili, and a few other (potato grow bag!) plants at the nursery shop in the village. Temps are heating up from tomorrow so now is the time!
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Hi lovely friends. I'm behind reading here and need to catch up. I couldn't get on the computer due to tech issues. Hope the bundler unbundles whatever the problems are. lol
I went Tuesday to have my cath removed. They couldn't get the darn thing out. So had an appt. Thursday with the surgeon who put it in, in the hospital originally. Got a call that he will be out indefinetly due to family emergency and to go back to the ER. So another 5 1/2 hours and the next guy couldn't get it out either. He ran xrays and said no emergency to remove it but I have that scan on Monday and I want it out so MO can get a good look at that lung. Plus the darn area is now sore from all that tugging. The hospital only has one surgeon and you guessed it, it's the surgeon I was to see today. So in 6 hours we are heading to Daytona to the big hospital that has an IR on duty and a couple surgeons. Hopefully it's just adhesions but I have read that cancer can grown around the tube. Scary stuff.
Will catch up reading here hopefully tomorrow afterwards.
Laurel
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thinking of you. Irish. Hoping it goes smoothly once you’re there. This is all too much to take sometimes. Holding. Your hand and riding in your pocket. Much love
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Irish
Sorry you have to go to such effort just to get adequate medical care, but admire your tenacity in going to Daytona to just get it done. Hope it goes smoothly and painlessly and that you are able to post later and update us. If Mel doesn't mind moving over, I will be in your pocket as well.
Sondraf
Have a wonderful, joyful day playing in the dirt ☺️.
I always found gardening to be soothing and uplifting. We downsized a few years ago from a house we had lived in for decades and where I created and tended large perennial beds and borders. I miss them more than I miss my house!
Hugs to all.
Eleanora
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Oh Irish, I am thinking of you today and with you in spirit. I am so sorry you having so many issues getting this catheter out.
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Make room ladies. I’m jumping in Irish’s pocket too! The third time has to be the charm, right?
P.S. I’ve brought snacks…peanut M&Ms and Cheetos.
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Geez Irish I can't even imagine your frustration with this darn cath! Ummm yea nice for him to say no rush to get it out as you walk around with a third extremity that is uncomfortable! Well so sorry that you have to make the long drive but it sounds like you will be in the right place to get things done. Fingers crossed and squeeeezing in your pocket also with Dove chocolate hearts.❤️
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In your pocket, too. I can’t imagine what you are dealing with. Good luck at Daytona. My the IR find the answer SOON. Hugs to you while enduring these SE.
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SF cakes I hated losing my job too. Losing income as well as co workers feeling productive and helpful. I left quickly bc when I was told MBC I figured I’d be very sick and dying. It’s a big blow to who we were before diagnosis.
Irishlove the catheter business is miserable. I tried to remove one from my nana, she begged me to and there was an inflation inside to keep it in place-I found out later. Pocket duty for Removal.
Cookie I hope the smoke clears soon. My mom is stuck inside too. Did it rain? You mentioned dampness. I thought the rain might help clear it out.
eleanora I love the garden and enjoy putting around in it. I can’t do what I used to but what I can do is pleasurable and rewarding.Mel hopefully your sim gets to the links soon.
Sondraf where does the dirt go lol. My back is aching now dirt related.
Mara thanks for the reminder about the stress of a job. That’s one of the deciding factors.
I hope Sadie’s servant checks in soon.
Tanya
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Iris, in your pocket with snacks as well, hope this trip is beneficial to your treatment and little SE added on to what you deal with.
Pat, I hope you are reading with us, we know things have been tough for you for a long time, we are always thinking of you as well.
Not too much for me, surveys, laundry baking wash soda. Probably will walk outside, first day air quality hasn't got a warning which is nice for a change, got a bit of rain which was helpful yesterday.
Breakfast likely going to be egg mcmuffin that I make and a couple of hashbrowns and get myself out soon after. New resolution, stop soaking dishes so long, hot water and 15 mins should be enough, I sometimes forget them in the sink until the next day.
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Irish-what a nightmare about your catheter! Hope it is out today.
Jobs report-I notice some of you have commented about missing working. If you are stable right now, as I think I am, I encourage you to consider a part-time job. I started one in April and love it. I actually have more energy now than before. It's nice to work a bit and be part of a team. I'm sometimes very tired after working but I notice my body is getting stronger and it's a stress reliever to have the extra money. I'm even starting a second PT job in July. My first one will end in September-my second one is only a six month contract so these are short-term commitments.
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Irish - fingers crossed you get the catheter issue resolved!
Mara - what a blessing to have a new baby in the family.
I can’t keep track of all the new comments. I’m going to need a cheat sheet🙄.
Hoping the weekend will bring some peace and comfort to all who are struggling. Hugs to all🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗0 -
@irishlove , that cath stuff sounds miserable. I hope your visit to Daytona pays off. Keep us updated!
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Irish, I can't even imagine! I hope that thing gets removed ASAP and without any more pain for you. Sheesh!!!
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Sharing good news…stable CT this morning!!! Sooooo relieved, now back to the Rad Oncologist end of the month. They still are thinking about SBRT for lung or let chemo keep holding me steady.. we'll see. DH and I celebrated with our favorite Margherita brick oven pizza, was yummy! I think I may just splurge and treat myself to some gelato. A new authentic gelateria open 2 miles from my house….veerry dangerous with my sweet tooth!
Tanya Still no rain, smoke is better today! Hoping for a possible shower tonight, sunny now. We really need a good soaking.
Thinking of Irish , Pat and many others who are having a difficult time, hugs.
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Congrats on stable Cookie54.
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congrats for stable!! Way to go.
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GREAT news @cookie54!
I’ve got all my ducks in a row to start Enhertu! Next week is echocardiogram, 2nd opinion, liver biopsy and 1st infusion. 🤞🏻I’ve never been this scared to start a new drug but it has the potential to really help so I’ve just got to suck it up and do it. I now have a prescription for Lorazapam to help counteract the steroid effect. I’ve been sleeping better since I started taking it before bed but now I get really wired and crazed around 9-11 am. My jaw and abdomen hurt too much to give up the steroid, not to mention I’d get all my bone pain back again. No thanks. I might have to wean off the prednisone one day but that day isn’t today. I used to take the bare minimum of meds. Mama’s got a new attitude!
This weekend, I hope those in pain find relief. I hope those stressed find peace. And I hope we all feel love.
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Congratulations cookie!!!! I am so happy for you.
rk2020, I am thinking about you and in your pocket (with warm chocolate chip cookies) as you start Enhertu.
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Cookie
So happy for your good news. Hope you had the Gelato+ you deserve it.
Rk
In your pocket for Enhertu, and hoping it knocks this beast on its butt. Will be sneaking some of CM2020's chocolate chip cookies. Never thought of pockets as places where I would gain weight.
Pat
Hope you check in here to see that we are all thinking of you and wishing you well.
Tomorrow is national Knit in Public day and I hope to find a lovely spot outdoors to sit with my "sticks and string".
Hugs to all.
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Cookie I am so happy to hear your good news, that is wonderful.
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Still in everyone's pocket who needs it for scans, new treatments and SE and the like.
I am planning a walk once laundry and breakfast are done, same usual other stuff for some extra grocery money as well. Got 50 per cent off for cat food so pleased with that. PT as usual and that is about it.
Breakfast will include the pasta I made. Took one pkg knorr pasta, used water as I have no white milk, added extra butter and mayo. Came out creamy. Also added precooked soup noodles to stretch further. Should be good for a few meals. 1/4 cup beans, 1/4 cup beefless ground, wheat bran and cheese will be ground together, heat up the whole thing in microwave for about 75 seconds. If I get bored, I can take the beans and beefless ground mix and put shred cheese on top and bake it as well, we will see.
Have a good weekend, hope air quality is improving for people.
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Thanks everyone. Splurge day I went for the gelato last night, flavor of the week was Crema Buciata it's like a creme brulee, verrry delicious!
Rk I hope Enhertu is the match for you, we certainly hear good things about it! It is scary to start new treatments but you sound like you're ready to go attack this! I love the new attitude, you go Mama lol
Plan is to enjoy the outdoors today, plus I need to get moving and work off my treats.
Irish Thinking of you and the cath situation…hope it was successful and you are back at home.
Think and pray for all of our high's and low's..have a peaceful Saturday🌞
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I haven’t been to visit here in several days. So I have some catching up to do with ya’ll.
I’ve been so miserable all week and just wasn’t up to posting. I haven’t felt well since my last injections 2 weeks ago. I don’t know if they are the cause but I’ve just been in so much pain in my whole sacrum, and pins an needles in the bottom of my feet. I feel like my balance is off , and really feel exhausted from being so tired and lethargic. Last night I paced while DH slept soundly. I was up all night with very bad esophageal pain, and GI cramping. It hit me that If this is all because I’m Stage IV, which came on quite suddenly, it will be this way for the rest of my life, whatever is left.
Guys I’ve felt so depressed because I haven’t felt well enough to do all the things I’ve always loved to do. I don’t mean to bring anyone down but I feel this is the only place I can come to vent and say exactly how I’m feeling…. I’m so tired of always being asked how I feel. If I were to say I feel like crap to those who ask they just don’t want to hear that anyway because they want me to be positive all the time. So I isolate from them.🥺
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Shanagirl - I only scroll here once in awhile, since the new format, and post even less often anymore, but I happened to see your post first thing this morning and just want to tell you how much I feel for you. I know pretty much how you feel, and you are not alone. I've had all the thoughts that you note in your post. I actually do tell people I feel like crap when they ask (not every time), and they are put off, and I don't really care. I think it's important that others know how we are really feeling, because it's only with the people "out there" knowing how we really feel that treatment improvements might move forward, etc. If we all just say we're fine all the time, I think people will really think we are OK. I've missed posting and responding to others too because I sometimes just don't feel that well at all. This past week has been one of those times for me. Much that I would have liked to have responded to, but just too wiped out to do it. This is all one big roller coaster of ups and downs, and I do hope that you have some ups soon too and that you can have some time of feeling better, even if you can't do all that you used to. Best to you!
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