My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Comments
-
bellelove - such a heavy burden of much grief. Sometimes there are just no explanations. But you are so right that the little things don’t matter. And finding comfort in what is around you is the best way to cope. It goes back to the discussion of crosses and shoes a couple days ago.
Mel - some people are just so unkind. So sorry that you had to find one. I encourage you to follow through with a handicap designation. It truly makes a difference.1 -
Bellelove, I am sorry about all the trgedy affecting you, family and friends. You are right, things happen and you can never prepare for it, forced to deal with it. I think cancer is the same too, we just deal with what we are dealt. Please vent or relieve stress by talking to us as well.
Mel, I am sorry someone hollered at you. I am glad I was not with you as I would have hollered back. There are still many more good people than bad but to me seems the bad stays on our minds longer. In your pocket, deep breaths and pretend that person is a football in your mind, run up and kick that right out, bring in a song or something else you like instead. That person does not deserve any more time. How is the mouth doing?
I woke up extremely frustratable, my own fault, I have slept less than 7 hours over past two nights. Staying on devices too long or like last night, deciding to sew up a hole in legging an errant cat claw caused. Working on getting over it. So tired, I am midway through laundry. I think I need to institute more of a schedule for my day as not having much to do often leads me not to do what I need to. I am also debating saving money so that possibly once a month I can have someone come in and clean my place. I do sweep etc but it all is a lot. I will research some cost or phone former OT to ask for some suggestions to look into.
Beyond that, I had the most plain but nutritious breafast. Made a cup of quinoa, follow the instructions to make nice and fluffy. I read about all the nutrients. After it cooled, took 1/ 2 cup for myself and rest went in fridge. Seasoned with bit of garlic powder and salt, put small spoonful of mayo, mixed and it came out very well and enjoyable. Unsure about dinner tonight but we wil see. I also am glad the extra chewing has helped with digestion but have to watch as I cannot eat as much and was low on calories yesterday. Meals will need to be more frequent in that case.
Tomorrow, DB will drop something off for me, I think he worries about me being alone on Christmas but understands about house not being safe for me. I like being alone since Mom died but not for sadness, just for the quiet. I was also feeling sorry for my cousin because my aunt who was his mom died. Turns out he is not alone and has a companion, a woman he never told me about, I am glad to hear that. I was not close with my Aunt, really only say her at family picnics but she was a nice quiet lady. I may email my cousin every once in a while as well.
I am also happy to have mail indoors in my apartment now. I can hear the people in the apartment building having people over, it is nice to hear people enjoying themselves.
I hope every has a good day, holidays and in pockets wherever they are needed. I am looking to my blessings of an increase in disability, we have extra things in January coming which I can set aside as well. So many places to store money to save and will start writing down bills paid to keep everything straight.
2 -
Found something I may watch over the next day or two. 😹
1 -
Looks good Mara! I did yell back. I told her she was a disgusting person and human being and that she should take a hard look at herself in the mirror. It just was so mean to hear a person knowingly say that to a person who is sick. Just blew my mind someone could be so flippant. I hope she felt some discomfort inside for the rest of the day at least. This time of year can be jerks
3 -
It's not real, it's turning the movie The Shining, horror movie from Stanley Kubrick and changing it to Brightly Shining. Book by Stephen King. I just thought it was funny. I am glad you feel better.
I just had an experience I was not expecting but made my bad mood lift a bit. I was out at the mailbox collecting some of the flyers people piled on top which made me mad, don't understand why people would not throw them out, came back home and had a huge crying session, thinking missing my Mom since she died 5 years ago Jan. I put on a brave face but occasionally it all builds up. No one can fix it, I do actually like the quiet of my Christmas but I guess that there is the sadness of no more family get togethers etc, realizing sometimes the pressure builds up, I feel better after the good cry and am moving on, will be sorting flyers into my recycle bin and will adopt an oh well attitude, pick it up myself.
2 -
Sending you a great big hug Mara, I’ll be loosing my mother soon. So I feel so bad knowing that is coming for me. I’m really sorry she’s gone. Just doesn’t seem fair. Sometimes crying is all we can do to shed the sadness somehow
1 -
I’m reading everything you are all posting to catch up. @bellelove70 I’m so sorry all these horrible stories hit you all at once one right after the other. All that negativity bringing you down. When faced with all those negative vibes it we tend to absorb it an it brings our own vibration down…I’m very sensitive to that. Sometimes when a negative person walks into the room I pick up on it right away. Their energy just exudes from them and it really does my own vibes. .You probably absorbed and held and just needed to release it. Here with you sisters is a good place to share those vibes. So now find something that brings you peace and joy., for me it’s painting, being with my dogs, reading, aromatherapy warm shower or bath.😉🩵
2 -
0
-
Hi ladies, Gosh I'm so sorry about the posts I just read with sad tragedies of young lives and the despicable people in this world. I swear people just don't get it! It's very easy… life is a gift and just treated others the way you want to be treated. God this world needs a reset of values.
I have to add to the sadeness our sweet girl Daisy has passed on. When we took her to the vet on Thursday for her kidney labs they said she had days to live. She was in end stage renal failure, she was 9. She was diagnosed last year and had been doing so well . We thought we had at least a couple more months with her. Of course our hearts are broken and we miss her terribly. Fly high sweet Daisy girl.
4 -
I am so sorry to hear about Daisy, to you and your family who loved her, my deppest sympathies.
My cry this afternoon was cathartic and got rid of misplaced anger over flyers on the mailbox and floor and I must say sadness about Christmas without mom, she is the one who gathered us, I just had to let that grief out and it does help me alot sometimes. I actually got an appetite for supper, still planning an early bedtime. Just frying up eggs and some of the quinoa I made this morning, will add a bit of cheese as well. I will see if I like eggs and cheese with it. Not sure what seasoning to use yet, nothing too strong.
0 -
I’m so sorry about Daisy. They are truly like family. Sending love to your family. I never got over losing my Deeohgee and Tag. They become a part of your heart.
1 -
@belle Rabbi Hal Kushner wrote a book after the death of his young son from cancer. It's titled "When bad things happen to good people". I highly recommend it to help ease some of your pain.
Hi everyone. In your Christmas stocking for all things needed. May each of you have a blessed Christmas (if you celebrate), Happy Holidays and a brighter New Year.
Last couple days I have been messing with 9 yr. old DGD, moving her Elves around and just plain having fun. After school she arrives home to see where and what they are up to. Tonight I had a stroke of someone elses' brilliance. I stuffed each Elf inside a toilet paper roll, and unrolled a few pieces. I then put choc. candy on the t.p.. Gee it does look like poop. Oh my gosh she lost it. Took pictures to send to all her friends (they still believe in Santa).
DH still has pneumonia but I think antibiotic is kicking in. Urgent mobile health came to check on me today. My lungs are clear, all stats are good. She thinks in my case is viral infection. She gave me an RX but suggested I give it a few more days before I fill it. I love the home service. And they appreciate the call as this keeps their business going. I'm trying to not stop Ibrance if I have to take antibiotics.
Did something special for DD this Christmas. Money is real tight with DH and I supporting 5 people on Soc. Sec. and small pension. So I went thru my jewelry box and wrapped up a cameo, onyx and diamond ring that DH bought me years ago, and put it in her stocking. I wrapped up my sweet 16 birthday ruby red ring from my Grammy and put that into DGD stocking. We did splurge on virtual head set, but decided that would be it. We only have one grandchild. No major cooking this year. Doing a ready made ham and just side dishes. Our lovely neighbor sent over a box set of bolognas, cheeses and jams, so good appetizers. Just need to make witches brew (Hawaiian Punch, apple juice, lemonlime and scoups of orange sherbert). Make it for Halloween and Christmas and sometimes, parties. A cup of good cheer to all my dear friends here. Merry Christmas.
3 -
@irishlove , Love moving the elf around. My DD moves it at night when DGD is sleeping, but when DD is at work (nights) I move it. The tough part is when my DD is at work my DGD sleeps upstairs so I have to wait until it is late and my DGD is asleep. She almost caught me one night—she doesn't sleep well—but we made it. In the morning she found the elf peeking out of the box with a note that said "Shhh, I am hiding from Nana." Lots of fun. I am sorry you and your DH are still sick.
@cookie54 I am sorry to hear about Daisy. They take a big part of our hearts with them when they pass.
1 -
RIP sweet Daisy. I know you left many great memories for your human family🐾🐾.
Our DD does not do the elf thing, but I love seeing all the creative ways that others play around with him thru pictures on Facebook.
Mara - of course you miss your beloved mother, especially during this season. So many emotions are tied to all the memories of the holidays. It’s wonderful that they are such good memories for you.
On this Christmas Eve I want to wish all of you the peace, joy and hope that is the message of Christmas, now and throughout the coming year!2 -
Morning, Blessed and Merry Christmas Eve to all. Thanks for all your sympathy.❤️
Want to share what happened yesterday, it warmed my heart which we all need! I was texting my gf who lives at the shore about Daisy. She was on the boardwalk and there was nobody around as it was rather chilly yesterday. As she is reading my text out of nowhere this golden lab (who looks like Daisy) runs to her and starts jumping, licking her, kissing her and steals her glove! She looks around and there is no owner to be found. The dog then leads her down the ramp off the boardwalk and there sits the owner in a wheelchair. My gf had gone down to the beach and was reflecting and praying which she typically does daily. Wow I just was full of tears and love in my heart and that very same beach was Daisy's first outing ! Had to share to all who believe in spirit.
Mara I too miss my parent's who made the holidays so special filled with tradition. Sending you a big hug.
Irish I love the to hear the fun you are having with your DGD,great memories. Your gift's are the best straight from your heart with true meaning. Glad to hear meds are kicking in for DH and the home service sounds perfect for you!
intolight Sound like your also creating great memories and fun with DGD.
Thinking of all here and hoping you find the peace and strength you need always.
4 -
Feeling better today so far, got to bed earlier and thus more sleep. I have also resolved not to worry so much about stupid things around the building like flyers all over etc. I also think I cried out sorrow for Mom as well and will go about my day.
Doing laundry right now and setting up for money making, mostly TV ads for a little bit. DB planning to drop something off for me as well, not staying but that is fine. Might walk after breakfast too. The fried eggs last night were awful, the cooking spray caused eggs to have a lot of liquid, did not finish the eggs. Sticking with the egg cooker to decide how hard or soft I need them to be. Also opening canned lentils to have with quinoa I made yesterday, it turned out well and like the idea of adding different seasoning.
Edited to add, for some reason I wanted to try peanut butter with the precooked quinoa in the fridge. Did not heat them up but next time probably will. Just mixed all together, added a bit of salt and mixed. I will tell you, took a long time to get through it all, it was very good and super filling. I will probably keep quinoa in my wheelhouse and favour over rice even, we will see. Can just put it in everything I would say and so nutritious.
I am wishing those who are celebrating Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays for everyone who does not. Most get together with people, for those of us on our own, find something fun to do as well, favourite programs on tv or whatever. I am in everyone's pocket who needs me and in my own to actually get some housework done. Mostly need to get a duster in behind the TV to get the cat fur and move stuff from under the couch and get that stuff too.
1 -
Hi everybody
I never comment here, but I always read everything. I'm not super good at interacting.
But I always am so happy when you write good news, and sad when I read bad news...
and very interested in every story, tips, food you write about!
I just wanted to say best wishes and good luck, and happy festivity to everyone. Hope we can all have some nice moments too, no matter what.
Here is a deer me and my kid did with a discarded pole 😆🤍, and my beloved soft red tabby 🧡, him and my kid are my joy.
3 -
Welcome Amel_83! Your kitty is adorable and looks so cuddly. Great deer creation! Whatever is comfortable for you in Mel’s living room is ok with us. No pressure here at all!
3 -
Here for you All. 😀
1 -
Hi amel and everyone 😀
Today is my 23 wedding anniversary to DH. He’s cooking a rib roast and Yorkshire pudding for dinner, I’m doing the potatoes and carrots to go with it. I’ve also got a chicken and vegetables in a pot for Butterball soup (BFF’s family’s Christmas tradition. I love it, so I adopted it as mine too), which will be finished tomorrow and eaten for days. It’s 34 degrees with steady high winds, so we’re hunkered down for the day.
Happy holidays to all.
2 -
Happy Holidays to all.
It is 63 degrees here, but cloudy. I sat on my porch for a while to get some fresh air. And my windows are open to air out the house. It is forecasted to rain tomorrow, and then be in the 40's after that.
Pretty quiet around here for the Holiday, but I am counting my blessings.
I have scans Jan 9 with MO appointment on the 12th. I pray for stable again, but we never know when things can change, and not for the better. You all understand that.
I am hunkering down, as the respiratory illnesses are in full swing in my area. I know that some on here would not alter their plans, but I just cannot go to large crowded events during this time. I would just worry too much to enjoy myself. I am hoping when Spring comes, or at least when the illnesses wane some, that I can go to church again, or even venture out to eat (maybe in the Summer). I watched my church service on-line today and the song leader was blowing his nose and sounded congested. And they mentioned that several were not there due to illness. The piano player sounded horrible last week when she said something into the mic. I wish that when people were sick they would stay at home, but they will not, thus I don't feel comfortable going.
1 -
@candy-678 I so agree with you today that blessings are overflowing. I like you decided to not attend church this morning and almost cried. Once she was home my DD reported that the service was packed—standing room only—at church today, with lots of coughing and sneezing going around. So it was the right decision. I have scans Jan 4th and am also praying for stable. I am not doing so well today. It is only 19° here today but my DH decided to smoke ribs for dinner tonight anyways. Brrr… Tomorrow I will teach my DD how to cook a turkey—it is time she learned. It will just be the four of us so there is lots of room to learn. We will make it work.
I am praying we all get a little holiday cheer in the midst of all our struggles.
2 -
Cookie54- so sorry to read about Daisy. They are a part of the family. How special to hear about your friend running into the same dog. I truly believe in spirit.
Mae- Happy Anniversary 😊 The meals sounds delicious.
Mara- my dad died over 40 years ago and my mom died over 20 years ago. Not one day goes by I do not think about them. I try to hear to remember their voice. They are with us and watching over us.
Candy- Hope you are feeling better from the covid. This is the time of year to definitely stay away from crowds.
Irishlove- Before I pass I want to make a special ring for my daughter from the rings I have (not much). This is more special than anything money can buy.
I had my friend over for dinner tonight. No turkey this year. I cooked pork tenderloin ( my special recipe). My husband's favorite. Tomorrow my special son will be here for Christmas! He loves the Grinch so I put up a Grinch themed Christmas tree this year!
Wishing everyone a Christmas or special Holiday filled with peace, comfort and simple joy.
Debbie
3 -
Merry Christmas my lovely friends. Have a wonderful day! Love to all
4 -
Mel- What a lovely picture with the tree lit and the kitchen lights out. Your house looks nice.
I cannot have a tree, as my cat would just tear it up. I have a Christmas wreath on my door. Otherwise I decorate my house in snowmen thru the winter months.
Hoping all have a nice day.
2 -
I was supposed to see DB last night to drop off a gift, waited most of the evening and no one came, went to bed at 10pm. Edited, was humbug about today but DB texted, said had something to drop off today. I will await that. Must learn that even though I don't celebrate, no need to feel humbug either, that is silly.
I did discover a wonderful breakfast to have yesterday though. I took some of the premade quinoa and added some peanut butter to it and really enjoyed it. Planning to dress quinoa into different things. Not going anywhere though.
For those who are celebrating or just plain getting together with family, please enjoy the holiday, still in pockets for people who need it.
1 -
I did make a different sort of breakfast. Put two eggs, little bit of quinoa I am still working through, parmesan cheese and bacon bits, they are going through the egg cooker as I no longer fry eggs, softly poached and will probably put some mayo, small spoonful on top. Looking forward to it. I quite enjoyed it. Next meal will be english muffin with garlic spread on top, put more quinoa on top of muffins, put shredded cheese over top and put in oven at 375 and just enjoy them.
1 -
@cookie54 Oh cookie I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Daisy. What a heart warming story of the golden that showed up at the beach. I believe..
DD made quiche for lunch and stuffed shells for dinner. Wow how lucky I didn't have to cook today. Great present. DH says he didn't sleep at all coughing. I thought he turned the corner, but I guess not. I sat up with him and he with me, taking turns coughing and sharing the tissue box.
All your Christmas heart warming stories lift me up. Grammy K. and Poppop always had a fat real tree. Grammy S. had an aluminum tree. We (4 children) lived with Grandparents for years and would later gather with them as adults, with our own children. One of my favorite memories was of all my grandparents great-grandchildren singing Away In A Manager, and my son who was 6, signing the words. He learned some signing in 1st grade. Best memories, so much love.
May you have blessed memories from this holiday season, too.
2 -
Merry Christmas to all who celebrate. It's felt different this year. I have trained myself to look for the silver linings but I can't help but feel a little down today. I have not felt good for several weeks now with this nausea and vomiting. I did manage to eat some potato soup and cornbread with my family yesterday before gifts and that was great. I spent today mostly by myself sleeping off and on. I just felt like being in my own space and my sweats since I hadn't slept well and was fairly worn out. My parents stopped by briefly to say hello and I will go by tomorrow to check on them when I have more energy.
Cookie54 - I'm so sorry about Daisy. Losing them is so hard. I love the story about the lake. I believe we will see them again someday.
Mel - Beautiful tree. I love the Theo photo bomb. LOL.
May all of you be warm and sleep well tonight. Thinking of all of you.
4
