My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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💔💔~Ladies~ I don’t even know how I am even going to write this post. My hands are shaking. On July 5, 2019. GracieM2007 passed away at her home. She never even made it Into hospice as she had planned. She looked in on us on July first and I assume didn’t have the strength to even respond. I texted her everyday and today, the IPhone text was green and not delivered. I knew that instant. She left me information on how to find her, if forbid, she had passed on. I searched today and she is no longer battling those awful bitches of liver mets anymore. She was a good friend to me, brutally honest and I loved her and always will. This is a Serious soul twister for me. She is THE first person I spoke to on the phone, I was concerned about her lymphadeama. Instant friendship. I’m just devastated that cancer has taken another sister of mine. Each time it seems to sting more, and this time it’s sooooo close. I’m broken hearted. And numb. My god when will it end! Such suffering. June 28, the last time we spoke, A week later she passed. She also posted here that day. She knew. She said she was at peace then....a week later she really was. 💔😞😓😭🤬🥵😩
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Oh Micmel, and everyone who knew Gracie. I am so very sorry. This stupid disease. I have no words. Just know that I will be thinking of you as you grieve.
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May she Rest In Peace, lovely Gracie. I admired her acceptance and her “grace". I'm especially sorry for you Mel, and her other longtime friends here
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Micmel and others who knew Gracie,
I am so sorry for your loss. She is at peace now.
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May I also offer my heartfelt condolences as well to all of you and her family and friends.
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So sorry to hear of Gracie's passing. She only had Stage 4 for 3 years, right? I know we all strive and hope for many years with this disease, but this just shows that MBC can take someone too soon. Bless her life and her family that continues on without her.
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Divine and Santa,
I agree with both of you. I have met some of the kindest most compassionate people ever since I was diagnosed, and not just in my doctor’s office. I believe a lot of what we see and hear is news meant to grab our attention, so we don’t get a fair picture of what is real anymore. There really is a lot of fake or exaggerated news, and it’s all negative. Or almost. But I still believe in people....good people like all of you ladies here.
We were the last generation to grow up with our Mom’s at home, and many of us didn’t even have that. So I agree,Santa. So sad how we’ve replaced our kids with bigger houses and more expensive living.
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Oh Mel,
I am so sorry about Gracie. I didn’t see the posts until I posted my last comments. In retrospect, none of that matters as much as the ladies and friends we know here. I know how deeply you feel, so my prayers will be with you and all of the others that knew her. My sincere condolences
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sad sad words.Thank you Mel for sharing the news about Gracie. She will be missed she lived a rich life and was accepting of the battle results.
She was so brave and reached out to us when she knew she was near the end.
Tanya
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No words (except 4 letter ones) RIP Gracie
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I'm so sorry. 💔
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Dear Mel and all the sisters who knew Grace - I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain it brings to lose a sister in this battle. Grace's tour of duty is over and now she can rest. My dears, especially our very big hearted Mel Hugs and love to you in your sorrow. In my family when a loved one passes we plant (I know it sounds odd but for us it is a reaffirmation of life). I have a large farm and I would be honoured to plant a tree next week in Grace's honour if that is ok with you all. I did not know her but it seems like she gave a lot to you all and I can take a picture and post it for you so that you can remember her beauty not her sorrow.
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This is how I would hug Gracie if I could be with her. That is a beautiful idea. Giddy one that brought tears to my eyes. Seeing that picture. I will share it with her children. She had 8 grandchildren and they are all close to her. Reeling from all of this. Love you ladies. Mae~ I know you keep your peeps at arms length sometimes, but you bring me comfort and like it or not you are the longest person now I know here and I need you. I love you Mae. Chelle and you & Bigbhome! NaN! & Divine.original thread peeps!! You all basically help so much.
I adore and love you all. Gracies death has broken me and my soul. This one is like severe salt in my open wound, I saw her obituary and her gorgeous smile and I started to shake. I fucking hate you cancer. I'm sorry In advance. I had to say those four letter words. I feel like running and never stopping. I guess I'll see her in the clouds, maybe someday. I miss my friend.
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Micmel, sorry for the soul hurting you are having. Sorry for the loss of this voice from the world. No good words. Sad hugs.
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giddyupgirl, I think a plant is a lovely idea.
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Oh Mel, I'm so sorry to hear about Gracie, but thank you for letting us all know. You kept reaching out, but no response and I wondered about her. Devastating to find she passed so long back without knowing sooner. I don't blame you at all for the four-letter word; cancer deserves it! My deepest condolences to you, and her other friends and family with a Huge Hug added in.
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Sharing sad space with all of you hearing about Gracie's passing. Micmel I can hear how hard this is for you and I'm sending you a warm hug. Much love to Gracie and everyone who loved her.
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Micmel, thanks for letting us know what happened to Gracie. Wrapping you in warm hugs and sad for your loss and ours too. This disease is relentless. Ugh. I’m thankful we have our little community, as hard as it is to get sad news. Planting a tree in her memory is such a lovely thought.
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I’m so sorry for your and our loss Micmel. Big big hugs 💛💛
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Big hugs right back ladies. Friday Friday. Maybe I’ll get a burst of energy. Who knows. Hope you’re all doing well today. Cloudy here. Much love ~M
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I knew Gracie very well. Tears please stop flooding my eyes. I'm 2 1/2 years out. She was one of the first who I got to know here. We shared the sane TX's for our liver mets. We shared lots of knowledge and encouragement in our posts to each other. I will grieve her passing. 💞
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Rest in eternal peace Gracie....your fight here on Earth is over.
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I know Grannax that it would hit you hard as well. She mentioned you many times to me. Also Lynne, (50’s). I know how you feel i can’t stop the tears either!
She was so loved. I hope she knew how much.
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I have been thinking about how to respond to the news about Gracie. I am shedding tears, of course, but there is so much more going on inside me. We share many feelings, fears, celebrations, and disappointments here. We expose only a sliver of our lives to each other, opening a window into our deepest thoughts, yet limited by our own boundaries of what we are willing to share. In spite of that, we bond in a way that most people neither experience nor understand.
I remembering meeting Gracie on the Bone Mets thread. Like most of us, she had questions and needed information that would help her through those early, horrible weeks of mbc. She quickly became a source of strength and support to others. I often wonder how many people realize the positive impact that they have here. It is not just facts, figures, and news of breakthroughs that help. Sometime it is the simplest words of support and understanding that help us through the dark spells. Gracie was always available to step forward when someone needed it. I hope she was aware of her contribution, and I hope that others here are aware of their value, too.
So often I think how unfair life can be. Things seem so random. Gracie was a giving, loving person. When her husband and her mother were ill, she became the caregiver. I think this was not done due to a sense of duty, but instead because of the love and the need to help them find comfort through their final days on earth. Unfortunately, we do not get chips for those selfless acts that can be turned in later for “credit”. No, in spite of Gracie’s actions, she didn’t catch a break. Instead she was diagnosed with mbc and did not have the long period of remission that she had “earned” through her selfless acts.
I will always remember Gracie as a person of faith. I remember chuckling once when we PM’d about one of her scans, an MRI, I think. She told me that she kept singing her favorite hymn in her head during the scan. Why did I chuckle? Because of the stress, she could only remember one line of the hymn, so she played it over and over in her mind. It sounds like something I would do. Anyway, I believe that her faith helped her find peace when she learned that she had no viable treatments left. She sent me a PM saying that she was glad she had her faith in God to help her through.
Gracie left us too quickly. Although we will miss her, in the end, she did not suffer for a prolonged period of time. This was a blessing.
I wish peace and comfort to Gracie’s family and friends. Her goodness will live on in their hearts.
Hugs and prayers to all of you from, Lynne
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Lynne(50’s)❤️~ as always beautifully said. She definitely had a special place in her heart for you. I also hope she knew how wonderful we all thought her contributions and words were. I adored her deeply. We would talk regularly. You’re correct she didn’t get that earned remission period. I would never ever want her to suffer. That is such a good point. She will be held in our hearts always. If giddy plants the tree I intend to Show her son and daughter a photo. I am thrilled to see you. I hope you’re doing well. Think of you everyday. Much love love ~M
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So sorry to hear about Gracie. My sincere condolences to her family and friends. Lynne, you say everything perfectly.
Hoping everyone else is doing well, prayers for anyone waiting for tests, results or new treatments.
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Minnie~ Hello beautiful... it’s definitely a heavy time. I keep looking at her texts. I don’t have the heart to get rid of them. I still have Dianarose’s texts also. Not ready...
cloudy again today. Who knows what I’ll do. Anyone own a soda stream. ? I love carbonated water. Just saw a commercial. Looks easy ! Save me trips to by seltzer! Maybe a nap or two in my future. I’m going to walk in Gracies honor to the oldest tree in my town. People go there and place flowers or plants. When someone’s is lost. It’s open to everyone, It’s on a sweet old mans property and he rids the old planters containers and keeps it looking lovely for the town. It’s quite touching. If it doesn’t rain, I plan on going today. I’ve got to get there soon. I’ll be so upset if I go up there and that dear old man isn’t there anymore.
I hope you are doing well! Much love ! ~M~
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The restoration guys come today to take away the very loud fans. I am ready for silence, more than ready. At least they only had to tear out my bath floor. I've decided to go slow on my repairs. I'm gonna use the same guy who has done my other remodeling. I am going to repair my plumbing first. I cannot risk it flooding my new floors again. I'm worried about how much that will cost. Yikes.
I have the first infusion of my second cycle of Gem/Carb. I started a Gem/Carb thread. If any of you have had that combo, please post your experience there. I need all the info I can get. I've had no hair lose, no nausea or vomiting even though I don't have any nausea meds in my IV. I have had two or three days of severe lower back pain after each infusion. Would love to know why. I think it's from the chemo attacking my bone marrow. My next battle is to see if they will reduce the dexamethasone from 5mg to 2 1/2 mg. I seem to lose my filter for what I say when I'm on that drug.
My granddaughter started a new school on Thursday, Her pic looks like she's so grown up. Cute plaid uniforms that she loves, track and field and volleyball and Drama class this year. So glad I get to see her in a play or a musical this year. My favorite entertainment. Gymnastics will start soon for my Grandson, love to watch him follow in his father's footsteps.
Hope everyone is doing well. Still grieving for Gracie.💞
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HI Grannax and all the other ladies on here.
Grannax- Sorry for the flood you experienced and all the remodeling it will take to get everything back in order. Always something, right? Thankful that the chemo is going ok for ya. Wish you didn't have the back pain though.
Today I am doing my grocery shopping and yesterday I did some house cleaning. Tomorrow we are having a noon meal at church for a fundraiser. Yum Yum. Good food made by our church ladies. Not me. I cannot cook!!!! LOL. I am bringing a watermelon as my offering to the meal. I am doing ok for the most part. But crazy I have periods of waves of sadness. Something on TV, something I read, or something someone says and I just tear up. I know there is an element of depression, and maybe PTSD? Things just hit me wrong sometimes and the waterworks start. I am glad I have you all in my corner. Sometimes going thru this cancer is so lonely.
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Hi Micmel - I found what I think will be a good tree for Gracie. It is a chanticleer (a non fruit bearing pear tree). It blooms every spring with white and pink blossoms. It does have very tiny pears that the birds will love.It looks delicate but is strong and adaptable. It is a young tree so won't flower this year but will next spring. Does that sound like it would be a good honor tree. If so I will pick it up tomorrow and plant it this coming week.
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