My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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hello lovelies~ Runor Always glad to see you. Always. You seem a little off girl Whats the deal? Hoping you’re ok! You haven’t been around in a few...was thinking about you and getting ready to bust out the role call!! Hugs sweet friend.
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Hello Sunday Ladies.
So I went to the cookout last night and was one of the last to leave !!!! We had a small crowd-- guess people are just too busy with life anymore. Anyway, hot dogs, hamburgers, chips and dip, brownies. One of the gentlemen well known for his homemade fudge brought 2 plates of it- chocolate and peanut butter. Sat by the firepit and ate and talked. Then when it was dark, just watched the flames. Felt the breeze on my face. Looked at the sky with the moon and stars, and clouds skittering across the sky. Oh it was so peaceful. Wish I could have bottled it. Came home and showered off the smell of smoke and crawled into a bed with clean sheets. I felt "normal" for couple of hours. It was wonderful.
Hope you all are having a good Sunday. Mel- hope your day is going better today.
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Here is my picture. I was wearing an awful lot of make up that day at the cancer clinic, however the lighting was really good. Look younger than I usually do.
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Our ladies in this thread are soooooo beautiful!!!!! It's so good to see you all!
Candy your evening out sounds absolutely marvelous! I went to a retreat this weekend for metastatic bc support group here and we did have a lovely time. We got a visit by a Reiki practitioner and i had a little mini treatment . Interesting. She pulled a LOT of crying out of me. We also had group conversations led by therapist, some craft time, a bunch of wine, some dinner and then this morning we did the forest immersion session which was just lovely. It was so nice to notice more deeply the systems going on around us in nature. We all said we forgot about cancer for awhile while we were exploring nature and noticing so many things. It was a good weekend and I'm so lucky to have these ladies here. We have each others' phone numbers and a small facebook group and so there's always someone there to talk to.
I'm having scans this week and magically I'm having quite a LOT of pain. Is that all just anxiety what? I mean I've been feeling really really good and doing all the walking and the PT and stuff but as this scan time has gotten closer and closer I'm suddenly feeling pain again in my back and hip. What strange timing! Anyway, I'm glad I'm having the scans. I need answers so I can either get back to this treatment plan for another three months or change to something new. But I hate the scan time too. I'm allergic to contrast dye so I have to go through the pre-meds so I don't keel over in the CT machine. Having nuclear bone scan the same day as CT so of course I'm fretting about all the dye being swallowed and injected plus the amount of time I'll be at the imaging facility. Whine Whine Whine
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Moomala, anxiety can always make the pain worse for sure. Not that it is not real but our mind focuses on the negatives much more when we are anxious so I don't doubt you are feeling more pain. Hopefully it will subside after your scans. Also, you are NOT whining when it comes to having your day filled up with drinking and injected contrast dye along with premeds. That is a long day for sure. Trust me, I whine about mundane things, had a skin crack in my index finger and was upset over that. THAT is whining on my part.
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Tanya~ Hello sweetheart good morning to you too. I popped my adderall and I’m off to see my best friends sons hockey game with DH. I am sorry we missed each other with the visit to PA. I would love to meet a sister. I’m still hoping philly and I can make it work. 🤗 I watched the plays of your grandson and it was wonderful ! Made me feel like a kid again rooting lol you’re a precious grandmother, he’s very lucky.
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Candy~good for you on the cook out! What’s even better is you enjoyed yourself Imagine being one of the last time leave That’s pretty damn good. I agree that everyone has their own lives to live and it does get extremely busy. I always used to Hear my mother say. You’ll keep one or two friends from school and that will usually be it. I have exactly two people from school I speak to daily. One is still my best friend From when I was 12, she moved In next door to me, when I needed her. We’ve been sisters ever since. I adore her. So hold onto the good ones. The bad ones Never mattered anyway. Sometimes people are so selfish. Even family. I’m having some issues with my 22 year old son. He just wants to go to work, and do nothing else. My DH is getting more and more upset by the month at his lack of willingness to even keep his own room clean. I don’t know if it’s age or not. But my DD was Never ever like that she took care of her shit. He is slower. Don’t know why. Did I enable him too much??? I ask myself that daily. Time for him to grow some. Hugs to you this Sunday!! ~M~
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Mara~Hello beautiful woman! I agree, great lighting in that office, your absolutely lovely. I’m glad i have a face with a name now. You beautiful lady you! Thanks for sharing, and yes you do look young for sure. That’s obviously good genes!!!! I love your hair! 🤗🤗.....
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Moomala~I so wish we had an MBC group. I really would love to have that It would help very much. I’ve longed for someone locally that is experiencing what I am in my life now. Just someone to exchanges nods with without words. Just knowing someone in the flesh that feels the anguish I do. That’s why this place is so important to me and so are each and everyone of you. You’re such a special woman. I hope people tell you that enough. Isn’t it funny how we are soooooo hard on ourselves. ? But cut everyone else so much slack ? I think I’m sick of doing that! You’re also a very beautiful lady. I remember the pic with you posted with your dogs? Was it . Love pups!So my mind always goes there. Good to see you back. Missed you!
Mae??
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Moomala~ I adore the comic. Precious kids. They grow so fast. Then their mouths start to work. Against us. Lol.
Mara~I freak inside over the slightest things. It’s like I become immersed in my own sadness. I hate everything and I don’t even want to look In the mirror.. I can only take it day by day. Without my anxiety medicine., I don’t know what I would do. Geeze what we go through.0 -
Stopping by to say hello on this Sunday. Sorry for the bad times, I love the story of Candy's cookout... I could almost taste those hot dogs and chocolates and feel the breeze on my face watching the stars. I wish you much more nights like that to you Candy.
Mara, you are another beautiful girl! Nice to meet you
HUGS TO YOU ALL❤❤❤❤
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I agree Mel, it can certainly be tough some days. Other days are not so bad, I went out to lunch with my brother and SIL, had a nice time and then went shopping at a consignment clothing store, found a few nice items and then went to a dollar store where i got a few things. Was a nice day. I try to hold on to that if I start feeling anxiety creeping up. I don't medicate it except with the exercise and holding onto the good times and feeling the ways I am very lucky. I also have a volunteer that calls me every Mon to Fri for about 5 to 10 mins. We chat about our days, what we did. Nothing heavy or particularly cancer related. If I don't answer, she will call my brother and SIL and they would check on me. Makes me feel better talking to someone AND knowing that if something does happen to me, I will be followed up. It is a comfort and adds to my wellbeing.
I am also going out myself more often than I did thus avoiding feeling like a hermit. I always feel better after that. Have been pondering showing up at my gym here and there. I only pay 10 per month so even if I only showed up once, it might be worth it. We will see.
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Mara~I have been put on a new medicine....it helps me tremendously, the past two days I have not napped. Today I didn't even lay down. I went down to my bf's sons hockey game. I love seeing her and I love hockey. I'm trying to do more too. It was fun. We are un hermitic together!
She does SO much for me. Anything little I can do for her I would more than willingly do my best to do it. She certainly doesn't ask anything really. So supporting in my cancer since day one. Almost as upset as my DH and kids well ok. She was wrecked. She and I are close. Trust through thick and thin she knows. Id never ever not have her back. She's always known that I am loyal. Fiercely so. She's seriously like family so to sit with her alone and watch her son play. When we grew up together usskating on our golf course pond near our homes. Always, looking out for each other. I am so lucky to have a friend like her. She's someone I honestly love dearly. It's those things that make me want to live and fight. Those hockey moments !!
Yndorian~ you're a beauty also young miss! I hope you're having a great Sunday as well. It's raining here and chilly. But I love it. Love love it!! The window is open and I am feeling the breeze across my room. Better day today. Weird what a difference a day can make !! Hugs to you too!!!
~M~
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I am glad the medication is helping and that you had such a nice day today. Days without naps are great.
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mara- You are beautiful !! Your complexion is wonderful and I love your hair.
moomala- I am glad you enjoyed your retreat. I will be praying for your scans.
mel- Glad you got to enjoy the hockey game. It is rainy and chilly here today too---love it.
yndorian- Wish you could have been at the cookout with me. I ate your share. It was good.
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The new Television is all set up and working nicely. What a pain that was. My DS decided today that our house was going to be the house to watch the football games at. They arrived at 1230, and are still here. There at one point was 7 people. Now I don’t mind if he wants to have some people over, but at least give me a heads up. He didn’t even ask about it. They just showed up. I can’t get him to do a thing around the house at all, but he can sure mess it up. That bothers me. I have to fight with him to
Clean anything. Even his own clothing. I love doing laundry and he works hard, but seriously? He needs to step it up. I don’t know how to get a fire lit under his behind... 🤨0 -
Mara, you look like a model!!
Micmel, have been very busy last while with family requirements. I admit I just skim the page to try and keep up but as usual I am behind. I am glad to hear you are no longer napping and have become a hockey mom! Some of that Canadian influence might be rubbing off on you, eh? Hope life settles back into some sort of recognizable routine soon. Seems I am a creature of habit and when my routine is jangled, I don't cope well. Love and hugs to all!
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Runor~ I am a deep hockey fan and always have been. The flyers are my team above all philly teams. I am a hockey guru. I love the old time hockey players and the entire broadstreet bullies history. I know you guys are also all hockey in Canada. Funny. I didn't realize that's where you were from. Awesome!
Hope everyone has a great day. Cloudy here. Maybe a nap in my future. I woke up with a terrible stiff neck down into nun neck. It was just going away and I slept funny again 😝. Just annoyingly uncomfortable! Much love to all. Role call soon I see!!!!
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Micmel, my father loved the Flyers so much that he went out and bought a Bobby Clarke jersey with instructions that he was to be buried in it. We honored his instructions and was buried in black sweatpants, his Flyers jersey, Flyers slipper socks and covered with his Flyers blanket. He used to yell “ SCORE!!" With every goal... it's a sound from my childhood that I will always remember. Thanks for the reminder of happier times. Ihope your neck feels better. I got myself a cervical pillow to use at night and my neck and shoulders feel much better.
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Lynnwood~I adore that entire thought! What a memory to have. Special special special. I can imagine being so passionate about it. When I watch I get all stressed out but I love it! I also remember hearing my kids and I watching it and all yelling score!! It’s all about the time spent together. Times like that make you smile.
Today. Would be my fathers birthday 77. I can’t believe he’s been gone 5 months already. Time truly gets away from Us if we even blink. Thanks for sharing that story. I loved it. Anyone who loves the flyers. Is always OKAY!! In my Book! Must run in the family 😁!!!
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Talk about scary, how things can happen in a blink of an eye.. one of my closest friends daughter was driving to school this morning and had a car accident. It really makes you stop and take stock of your life and those you love. This kinda stuff is when you don't get the chance to say things to your loved onesbefore a bad thing could happen. Luckily she's going to be ok. But she could have easily been killed. She weighs like 90 lbs. small tiny tiny thing.
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My son goes to college in Quebec..... one of the MOST fun sporting events I ever attended was a Canadiens game (against Toronto) I saw with him.... I absolutely loved seeing french speaking people go nuts for a sport. ALLEZ!! ALLEZ!! The other hilarious thing was the 5 year old "hockey players" who came out with the Zamboni like little trolls and would fall for no reason.
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Santa~ I always loved seeing the kiddies on skates. When they play hockey at half time So adorable.....love the memories. Funny how sports tie families and people together!!!
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Mel, so sorry to hear about the accident. Regarding your father's birthday and the passage of time. Time does go so very quick. My mother's birthday would be Oct 14 and she has been gone almost 10 months. It is not as raw for me as I decided to look on her passing as a blessing to her. She did not have to worry about my cancer or be robbed of her mobility anymore. She went peacefully in hospice after my brother told her it was OK to go.
On a lighter note, this came up on my Facebook today and thought I would share. I find it funny.
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Well,,, on the topic of Birthday's,,, …. today is my Birthday. 49 years old.
Quiet day at home. Have gotten a couple of calls wishing me a Happy Birthday. And Facebook "Happy Birthday's" from Facebook Friends.
I am thankful I am in my home. Cozy. And able to eat and drink. Windows open with the fall fresh air. And still plugging along.
I hope I can say that for my 50th next year.
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Candy~Happy Birthday sweetheart!!! 🎈🎈🎊🎉🍾 🎂 🍰 🧁! Enjoy your fall smells. I have my windows open as well.. I am also 49 years old. I hope you enjoy your day!
Mara~as I sit in bed. I am happy and I know it!! Not moving anytime soon. My sweet DD brought me lunch again today. I love time with her So lovely.
Waving to Donnabella.... ahem. Mae ? JKL, JFL, pots, skitz, Daniel and Leslie, Minnie,Blueshine, Holmes, Jens got this! ,Tanya,Sandibeaches,Grannax,Yndorian, Runor, Bella, Tracey,our new addition! Divine, hope you're doing ok!Stilllivin my sweet friend.... elderberry.....Iwrite..... philly...Rosie...I hope you're all doing well! Much love to all!
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Candy, have a good birthday for sure with all the fresh air.
Mel, I could stand to be in bed, woke up last night with diarrhea from perjeta. The problem is that there is no warning or unwell feeling with it and I will often wake up having already leaked. Thankfully it has not yet been a large enough amount to dirty anything besides underwear but does necessitate depends and me staying up for about an hour to make sure the immodium has stopped it. I hate that drug but was told by the cancer centre I cannot have Herceptin only. I have a love/hate relationship with Ontario healthcare. Obviously, I am lucky to be covered without having to have insurance who could deny or approve things BUT this makes flexibility way less of an option. Also, the immodium stops me up for a couple of days. I am not willing to be put on a different line of treatment and they don't do chemo holidays. If the drugs are not given as prescribed by the province, they will not pay for it.
I decided to push myself today and not give into the bed. Instead have been doing brisk 10 minute walks. I am also eating fairly normal as I do not believe last night was anything other than an SE from the perjeta. I just hate that it happens in the middle of the night and I usually am not woken up BEFORE leaking. I also hate that I cannot give it up.
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Good afternoon all,
I made it back to Tampa this early morning. I took a nap and am now trying to get motivated to make dinner.
Mara your picture is lovely. I hope the imodium is doing it's job for you. The side effects are always so much to deal with and no one knows like we do how much we go through.
Mel that vehicle is smashed but it looks like the size of it protected her as well. Happy that you got out. This is your time of year. Cool weather and the leaves changing colors.
Candy Happy Birthday. The barbecue sounded heavenly.
Moomala thanks for sharing your scan dates. When exactly are they? I'll be right there with you. CT and Pet in the same day that's a lot. the cartoon is precious - rainbow days -
Lynnwood your dad was a super fan for sure. Nice that you were able to honor his wishes.
Santa, Runor, Yndorian, and anyone I forgot hope things are going well for you today.
Tanya
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