My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Sondra, awesome movies for sure. I still have weird science and some kind of wonderful to watch. I will always have a soft spot for these movies.
Glad to hear you are going to be near a friend. That is so important. I have heard about the prime minister for you. My thoughts and prayers go with him.
Finally!!!!!!!!!! Canada's Chief Public Health officer has finally said that people should go out in masks to contain the infection when they sneeze. I hope that people start listening and doing so. Would cut down on transmission rates for sure.
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today I went out. Curbside pick up. Didn’t get out of the car. So I didn’t mask up I have some. I only breathe on one lung and it doesn’t provide enough air for me to breathe I get very dizzy. It’s a difficult thing for me to wear one. That’s why I’M upset about the mask thing. When i think that in order to Go outside of our homes we have to wear a mask? What is this some Sy fy shit that we would watch on television? 12 monkeys much? I did see people masking up. It was good to see. I will do it. Should I need to Get out of my vehicle and into public.
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speaking of Movies. The last time DH and I went to a theatre it was January. We sat in those reclining seats and it was so much fun. We saw doctor sleep or whatever the name of the Movie was that told the story of the older Danny Torrance in the Shining. It was great. It made me realize now that was the last thing I did before this started up and the flu was supposed to be rearing it’s head. Why are we not seeing any flu cases this year? I don’t know one person except boo I think who got it. Just seems like an awful lot Of sickness. In such a short time.
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Mel, if you are outside on your own or with DH, no you do not need a mask. If you are going indoors with people, that is when you mask up. At least that is how I do it. No way could I walk with a mask on. Would die of the heat.
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Wow, I've been sewing masks the last while and missed a day or two and...I'm so far behind.
Pots, if you like the artwork, and it's not wildly expensive, go ahead and deface it until the offending phrase is gone. I find collage covers a multitude of sins. Make it your own. Nothing a Sharpie can't fix!
Candy, I remember being with my dad as he died. It was a stressful, exhausting time. It is a blessing if they can keep your dad comfortable. It is so good that you can be with him! This matters.
Hi to everyone else. Stay well!0 -
Good morning All,
Today is my last chemo treatment on Abraxane....scans next Monday. I am going to talk to my MO about either trying another drug or suspending this treatment.
I listened to a podcast on the Home Page (Dr. Wojo...no one can pronounce his name) and he was talking about just how dangerous it is for patients going through this kind of chemo. With no immune system, I would not have a chance if I got the virus.
Has anyone been on an immunotherapy drug? That’s what I need. Anyway, hoping we can come to agreement on this. It’s just too risky right now to continue on Abraxane.
Hope you all have a good day.
Waving hi to my dear Tanya!
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BooBoo~I’ve had Abraxane 9 treatments. I had to stop as well because of neuropathy. It wasn’t a terrible treatment but chemo is chemo. I agree it toasts your system. Please keep those hands washed... I hope everyone stays safe!!!! My goodness.
Also, separate gripe let’s get some Wipes on our shelves people please ????? For goodness sakes
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Mel,
We can’t find wipes down here either....at least not in the grocery stores. Crazy. I hope you are doing well and continue to stay safe, my friend. They keep saying the worst is yet to come. Really? What do the think the last 3-4 weeks have been?
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BooBoo~I just don’t want anyone of us getting it! We can’t already! We have enough to deal with. I still sit and listen but I feel like they are talking about something else. Like it’s not real It’s surreal. It loves big cities, and that scares me. People who have recovered said it was terrible. Painful muscle aches, headaches to A new level,A fever for 10 days...? Excuse me what? Delirious much? Sweating like crazy, weird dreams, if you’re lucky enough to sleep. This is no Virus. This is a living hell from the sounds of it, and thats just the mild cases I’ve heard about. It truly scares me for us and our families. What kind of world do we live in anymore? 😟
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runor I think that comment about being with Dad was for me, and I thank you. He's pretty comfortable and it has been beautiful actually to be with him.
the worst stress was him thinking his physician would prescribe speedy death drugs (legal in CA). The asshole doc led him to believe it, then refused at the 11th hour. My Dad has felt frustration and betrayal due to this. He is in his right mind. He is mostly at peace, but his final independent act was denied him.
Otherwise all is ok
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So, I got a really good lesson from a friend of mine on facebook about prejudging a situation without think about what may have been going on.
There was a picture of a HUGE lineup of people outside on the sidewalk with carts separating them to get into the Costco.
I was judging people by thinking that why do so many people need Costco when they can use other stores.
My friend pointed out that it was terrible to be so judgmental and urged me to take a closer look. Most of the people were older. They probably were waiting to get in at senior shopping hour when it opened. My friend also pointed out that in Canada, Costco does not charge dispensing fees for prescription and do NOT have drug delivery. I thought about what she said and immediately removed my post which thought that people should stay home more.
It was a good lesson for me because I don't like to be judged about my cancer but also that I still have work to do to open my own mind. Doesn't matter why people had such a long line, they obviously can't get what they need anywhere else or they would. Told my friend I appreciated her telling me and I will think before I simply post again. Not so much disappointed in myself, but appreciating the lesson that can make me a better person.
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Booboo
Hi. I need plant seeds and soil for this garden that sounds like it’s all I have to do so...
I’m happy you’re done with Abraham’s for awhile. You need to build some immunity.
. I took an extra week off of ibrance last cycle and I didn’t feel stronger. Maybe I need a longer break.
Tanya
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Tanya~Sometimes I feel better when I am on ibrance than off I get more tired off and I feel more at risk when I’m Off. I at one point took a three month break from it. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I felt like a zombie half time. For me itS the mouth This month or week. Up and downs with this isolation crap Is getting old. I’m kinda freaked out it’s lasted this long. Still like a sy fy film.
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If you want to see crazy, take a look at this picture of a lineup for when costco opened, bearing in mind that opening hour is for senior/disabled/immune suppressed shoppers. I would wager that more than a few of the people were picking up prescription as there is a large population, I think we need delivery of meds from their pharmacy like you in the US. Awful for these people.
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that’s an awful lot Of people, kinda defeating the purpose and putting older people at risk It would seem. That is one long ass line. Thank god for drive in cvs! Wow
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The line would have given me pause I admit. I am thankful my own little grocery store is not that crazy. I am sticking to that one for a while. I have itemized supplies and see that milk and spinach are the two that I regularly need. I have seen line ups at other stores nearby so that only a certain number are allowed in at the same time, but nothing quite that long. It's really sad that people are having to do this. I don't doubt people really need stuff they can only get there if they wait in a line that long.
The scary part is, I think most of them were seniors. I really hope supply and demand evens out a bit if we are in lockdown for months.
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Micmel my cvs had. 5 car line so I went inside wore a mask and had my spray bottle of alcohol. One person ahead of me. Got my prescription. I don’t know when we’ll brave grocery store again. Cvs said they’ll have tp Thursday morning between 5-7. I hope DH feels up to that run.
Mara I think small stores are better. I really am just staying inside. I drove by my brothers and step moms house and waved. They talk to me on phone. Strange life we’re living.
My daughter in NY said 45 min line outside of Costco.
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Mara,please don’t say months lol. I can’t do it. Just seeing the masks. Makes me inside take pause and slight fear immediately. Although the mask was always an issue for me. Too many surgeries. I’ll wear one. To protect others just in case. It’s just the uncertainty of getting product’s people need. They have to line up for hours? And that’s the senior line. Egads. What does the regular line look like?
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Tanya~imagine waiting online for the most essential thing in life? Toilet paper It’s amazing how things just started. Wham. Another new normal. I’m not liking this one bit. You may just forget the near future (spring) because we are going to be in this a while Because other cities are growing. East coast. Getting ugly. Three top ten states in a tri state area. How did Delaware escape? Pa growing. Nj horrible. NYC we know 😕 Louisiana growing problem. Another coast. Florida. High numbers. Was Washington state at. first. But the travel stopped from China. When the airport was closed to China flights. It helped tremendously! This is going to take a long time to play out. All these cases? Yeah a few months at least. Who really knows. Is Mother Earth sick and saying sianara to it’s residents. Maybe the earth has reached its limit. Although I’m convinced China dropped the ball In warning the world. It’s yet another mind fu** for us MBC patients to just go through.
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Health Canada says grocery shop once a week only. If you do head out, you're kind of committed so I can see why those costco peeps ended up lining up
https://twitter.com/GovCanHealth/status/1246769648932212737
My sense from my twitter & fb communities is people haven't quite wrapped their heads around the 'I won't get what I wanted'. They're acting like it's Thanksgiving and they're just looking for that special gravy they always buy so they keep going to different stores on different days because they 'need' that thing. Just buy what's there, you won't starve, make a different recipe....
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Mel, I can feel you on the shock of the line. I don't shop at costco myself, but this was posted on my facebook and I just could not believe it. The original comments to the picture were very judgmental to the poor people in line. Why are they waiting so long, just go to a normal grocery store. I would think that if there were another choice for them, they would do it. Obviously, people would not go out of their way to stand in line.
I do think Easter weekend is also spurring extra shopping. I am thankful I don't need anything much other than spinach and milk these days. I don't know what I would do since cannot do pickup or delivery. Not sure what that leaves people to do.
Moth, I agree with you and overall, I try to restrict shopping, especially now. I rearranged some storage and found some beans and queso I actually forgot I had. They are now in the forefront so I know not to buy anymore. Those are my staples. I think the only supplies that need updating weekly, at least for a good 2 to 3 weeks are really my spinach and milk and cereal. I won't even shop for non essentials, I have this guilt about buying things other than essentials since everyone else is in isolation. You are also correct, people have this idea in the back of their heads that groceries will close down. Not likely so stop panicking otherwise stores have to impose strict limits that would screw over large families. We have truckers getting what we need. Even masks are coming in from 3M from the states. Not sure how that was worked out but good to know extra supply til we make our own.
It was far worse in the world wars and the depression and people did survive. We still have it much better now, even with the unknowns of the virus. We just need to hold on. I don't like the idea of this going for months but that is what I am preparing for mentally. If I am wrong, I will be so glad.
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I even forgot it was Easter, it doesn’t feel like anything really. Except a screwed up time in our nation. No big Easter dinner this year. 🐣 🐰. Will have to wait for next year. Maybe it’s because our winter was so warm and we didn’t have much snow that we were ripe for this thing to come along. I enjoy Easter Sunday dinner. I guess we will just scale down. Everything is nucking futs !
Okay Mae starting to get worried. Hope you’re doing good.
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Moth - I think a lot of people are also either not great cooks or unimaginative cooks so they can't look in the fridge and pantry and see what may go together from cans and produce/leftovers and think they need to 'run out for a few things'. Or the stress eating snacks are all gone much faster and/or more family members at home who would otherwise eat outside the house.
Other Half keeps stopping at the grocery store on his walks and I finally told him to stop it yesterday as we have everything we need in the house and we really DO need to eat through our existing freezer levels so we don't have to move it. Otherwise he was bringing home junk like doritoes, which he knows I love, every other day and I just don't have that level of willpower! I stopped going weeks ago - just not worth the risk, although I wonder if I didn't have this already as both of us had people in our offices bring it back from February hotspot vacations, and OH had a potluck dinner at his work in like early March! He never got sick but I got some weird burning lung pain, constricted chest and muscle pain, sore throat, fever, but no cough. As for aches and pains - who knows anymore between all the drugs. Just another goddamn day with those.
We got the cute flat locked down yesterday until the end of August at which point either the housing market will have cratered and we can buy some place (ha! that level of commitment is too much for me), we take the place in hand, or we get an even better place for the same or less money. Move is on the 27th, just after my bloods/injections on the Thursday before so I will have a few weeks to move my cancer treatment arrangements around.
For Easter we are just going to have a nice brunch - I want to try making hot x buns, some savoury mushroom crepes with asparagus, and scrambled eggs. Maybe some bacon if I can be bothered as we only have it at holidays now. I got a box of nice easter chocolates before lockdown and the temptation has been there for a week to tear into those! Something to look forward too for sure.
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OK, I am seriously getting angry with my media people with all the extra fear mongering they publish all the time. One of the big headlines now "Intermittent physical distancing may be a thing until 2022".
Why am I so upset. When stuff like that is reported early on, the panic buying, lack of delivery even from Amazon continues. People continue to feel an undercurrent of panic. I can see mental health becoming a bigger issue than the virus.
The media needs to report more on what is happening now in our various cities, country etc. There could be some sort of vaccine in that timeframe or some meds that can make symptoms milder for most people. We don't know the future, neither do they. Stop going to the fearmongering for far into the future. Stick with what we need to know.
I am just venting but I need media to treat this more like MBC, we try not to worry about the future because it is not set now. Give us today's news and what we need to do and leave the future to the people who are working behind the scenes to give treatment options.
Rant over. Just tired of my media, this is not coming out of the US, at least I don't think so. This is Canadian media.
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Sondra I hear you on the aches and pains. Remember when I had that weird "pneumonia" in December? I had fever, wierd burning lung pain when I tried to breathe very deeply, dry cough,bigtime fatigue, chills, muscle aches and I had a CT Angio that showed opacity. Really makes me wonder. I can't wait for the antibody test. My psych went to a conference in NYC early March before the mayhem and a few people there tested positive. My psych should have put himself into isolation but at the time it wasn't a thing. His entire family got the virus, but he didn't. He thinks it is because he is on losartan for high blood pressure which is going into study as they think losartan may block a pathway used by covid So it seems as if he may be a carrier with no symptoms.
Booboo I'm glad you've decided to stop treatments for a bit. Even though no human being has immunity to this virus, if you feel treatment is knocking the stuffing out of you and you need to be stronger then I'm all for it.
DH goes to a small grocery store chain out in the county nearby his shop. It's never very crowded and he feels more comfortable shopping there than here.
Our former NYS Senator is still on ventilator and is gradually being brought out. I didn't know this but it's a very slow step-wise process coming off a ventilator. I hope I never have to find out. He and his family are the nicest people in the world. It is heart-breaking to read the posts from his wife. And then John Prine...I cried this morning when I read the news that he'd passed away. So much grief, anger and helplessness and FEAR running through me right now.
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Mara, I agree with you on the media. That's why I listen to Andrew Cuomo every single day. He is not my favorite governor OR person but he is doing a freaking bang-up job of handling this in front of the public. Facts, facts, and I know this is hard but we're doing it for each other and here's what this means and here's what that means. It's reassuring listening to him even on the days when the numbers are going up.
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Sondra~I love my sweets. They Go first. DH can bake as well, so he makes me my shortbread cookies and I have them with my morning coffee. He really is amazing at being a care taker. I wish I was a better patient. I have such fatigue I feel like I don’t do enough, he does everything. I try to do the laundry for us, that I can handle and I do clean the bathrooms mainly(he does that too) I just don’t feel good enough for him since I’ve been sick. He deserves more attention and affection. I just have no stamina anymore. That makes me hate cancer more.
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Sorry it's so hard Mel. Lack of stamina is horrible to put up with. I hope appetite and strength come back soon
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I’m here and doing ok. I’ve been watching movies, napping and had H&P treatment yesterday, didn’t realize I missed the last couple of days, so I’m pages behind.
Getting sick of the very few things I can eat, so a bit bummed out, hungry but nothing sounds good. I’m about 2 weeks away from the magic 3 month mark for nerve healing, fingers crossed I wake up one day soon with improvement.
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Mara~ thank you It’s nice to let the feelings out sometimes! I miss my Old self and that will forever be.
Mae~I’m so glad to see you. I’m sorry about the food thing. ☹️ I kinda feel the same way about eating I’m Hungry, but nothing appeals to me. I have a real issue with it. Food gives us energy Double Edged sword.... I hope two weeks IS the magic number. 🌹
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