My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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BevJen- In your pocket on Tuesday.
Dutchiris has her scan on Thursday.
DodgersGirl has appt this week for results of last week's scan.
Thereishope posted on another Thread scans for her this week.
Busy week for scans here. Prayers to all for good results.
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Ladies~Definitely a pocket duty week. We need Mae's sweater jacket for this week that she has. It's always worked before.. speaking of who I'm very worried about her. This has been one of the longest time of not seeing her. I care my sweet friend. I care for you all.
Tanya~ you make me smile how sweet you are. You and Boo Boo are precious ladies. Dodgers girl pocket duty tooMoth~How are things? You doing good ? Moomala~ I hope you're feeling stronger. Hugs my friend. Simone, Rosie, stillivin,pots,yndorian,Chicagoan, Lynnwood, haven't seen you lovely ladies lately. philly. We miss you! MJH, hello busy woman. I write ~hi to you special lady. Jensgotthis.~hope you're ok......Dutchiris🌻Shetland🌹.........Sandibeaches~Hugs sweet woman. Nkb~ long time. Runor~ hello stranger! JFL, JKL, Sondra, Hello lovelies..NaN!! Been way to long my dear. Think of you ! So hard to keep it all together and my names straight. I'll be back if I've missed anyone. Elderberry, Beesey, sunshine, piggy, dancingelizabeth, thereishope, GP even still I care. Much love to all ~M~
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This is my dog looking at himself for the first time ever. Lol he was captivated and thought there was another dog in the room with my dd and him... It was so funny. I thought it was a funny picture....0 -
Mel cute picture. I worry about all the missing folks too. Hope they’re just living their lives and taking a break.
Mel I used to do everything too. I mourn the loss of all the abilities. It just comes (the sorrow) and then I sob awhile and then keep on going like nothing ever happened.
Tanya
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So sorry ladies, I didn’t realize how long I’ve been away. I’m ok, making small progress with food. I’m off to bed now, got an echocardiogram, labs and body CT tomorrow, fortunately I don’t drink the barium, so it just tastes like orange juice to me. I’ll update with results on Tuesday. Goodnight all 😴
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Thanks for remember my scans, Candy. Thanks for the mention, Mel. I am just so sad lately. Maybe just a big pity party here. Do I have to be part of the real world at all? I am not sure why I am trying.
Hoping for the best to all with upcoming scans,
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*500 Pages*
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Illimae— in your pocket today for body CT, echocardiogram, and labs.
Candy— no appointments this week for me. I had mammogram slated for 5/20 but the breast center keeps pushing the mammogram out. They are scheduling for October. My original appointment was in March but moved to May due to CoVid now moved to July in at a different location. Wondering how many undiagnosed BC cases are out there pushed further out do to CoVid?
Micmel— I am living in my Lazy Boy just like you described. I wake up each day with a shortened list of tasks I want to get done. Sometimes I conquer the list and sometimes pain keeps me chair bound. With the virus, I do worry that this is how the rest of my days will be. When I think about that possibility, I get sad
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Santa ~Thank you for noticing we are going on 500 pages and 15 thousand posts. I never imagined the living room would do so well.... I'm thankful for you all.
Dutchiris~ i totally get it. Scans are torture the week before sucks. The days after suck. Feeling miserable in between sucks. I am with you on your ride. You're NOT alone. Each and everyone of us is dancing with cancer. That's the song we got. I get so mad. Then I cry. Then I spiral into a funk. It happens a lot. I just have to fight it. I am sending you a huge huge hug for scans. Hang in there. I'm sorry your sad. But you're not sad alone.
Mae~ I'm very glad to see you. Very glad. Good for the small progress being made with healing. We just miss your wit and packing tutorial pics. For travel. Sending you a virtual hug! 🌹. How is the pool?? With you today in your pocket
Hello candy. (The memory woman) awesome how you remember. Dodgers girl ~ I'm still laying in bed Time to take mister adderall and sometimes I just don't want to. I hate medicines honestly. Everyday. The same thing.... I need a shower. What a Joke. It's like a job I have to prepare myself for it. Pep talk !
Hi Mara, Tanya. Hi sweeties Bevjen.
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In pockets this week!!! What a lot of scans we have going on this week!
I am doing slightly better, although still having some side effects even though I have been off Afinitor for a week. Maybe the drugs take some time to get out of your system? I am also still on exemestane which has a lot of the same side effects as Afinitor.
I wish I had a recliner. As soon as I can go out shopping for one I am SO buying one. I need it. I have more chair days than productive days lately which sucks. I can't do a lot because of my back. Also my CT last week said that I have an impending acetabular fracture. MO instructed me to contact orthopedic oncologist right away but they are taking their time getting back to me.
To put the honest truth out there I feel a bit like giving up lately. Losing all this weight and being so sick last weekend has just knocked the stuffing out of me mentally and physically. I feel a sense of dread and pushing away of procedures and new meds. Luckily my doctor told me I could put off the first Faslodex shots another week if I wasn't feeling up to it and I think I will do that. I'm just tired and depressed. Ugh.
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Moomala, I am sorry to hear how it is going for you. It is difficult having to deal with so many side effects and being sick for so long. Not being able to do what you need to get done is hard as well and certainly does make a person feel really bad and not hopeful. Is it possible you can take a break from all drugs for a bit until your body gets some of its strength back. It may be improving, but perhaps it would iet stronger in a shorter space of time It would certainly be helpful to have the option to improve your condition both medically and physically and help your body gain back some of the weight you lost.
Myself, had a bad emotional morning so far. Really tired of my tears to things that really are not the end of the door. So easily frustrated. My drawer where I keep spoons, forks etc was stuck. I absolutely could not open and that set me off. No matter how much I told myself to relax and stop crying, I became almost hysterical about it. Finally got it open, a fork had got stuck and would not allow me to open. I pulled really hard and bent it. Got rid of t he original container they were in and moved them to plastic container with a lid on top. That way it won't happen again. Wound up with a headache but still making myself do short walks. Also had a few minutes where my eyes were seeing lights and causing me to be unable to see anything properly. It does not happen often will go away but it kind of scares me. Think I will mention it to my MO on Wed when I see them this week. Not sure if it is brain related or not. I have an MRI coming up within two to three weeks. I know it is not right however.
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Morning all.
Dodgers- I had down a scan for you for May 13. And I thought I read you had appt with MO for results the following week (this week). My bad. Got it wrong. Did you have a scan? Results? Sorry I got messed up.
Mel- Not memory, I jot down dates when someone posts of upcoming scans. I keep the sticky note by my computer. But still got it wrong with Dodgers.
Dutchiris and Moomala- Sorry you are feeling down in the dumps. Easy to do in our situation, I think. Hoping you both feel happier soon.
Mae- Good to hear from you. In your pocket for scans/tests.
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Mara- Sorry you are having a bad morning too. Yes, tell your MO about the vision thing. I have had "floaters" in my eyes since I was a kid. But every once in a while now I will see squiggly lines and brightness. Who knows. Maybe yours is no big deal. Hope your day goes better now.
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I get the floaters. I also get dizzy and quickly un balanced. A lot of medicines cause dizziness and if we move to fast or get up to quickly. Let's not forget our friend stress. I hope you can relax now that the fork battle is done and you're the winner. I always hated when that happens. It usually happens on the lazy Susan. Frustrating, something like that would set me off also.
Candy~ I try to remember, my noggin isn't what it used to be. I use my iPad and my phone for this site. If I used the computer I would have to sit someplace too long. My iPad does the trick. That's a good idea to keep notes. I do want everyone to know I know exactly how they feel. Tired of being sick. And sick of being tired. And everything in between!
You ladies are special Like Tanya said we bawl our eyes out and move along like nothing happened. Which is in a way how we have to live. Sometimes we have to put the cancer down. This covid scare has allowed me to focus on that. I sure don't want to be taken down by something else after fighting so hard.
I found out yesterday, my god father who was 72 passed away on Saturday from covid. The first person I've known to not only get it, but succumbed to the virus. From what I heard it was ugly. No family allowed around him. My aunt watched him die through a plexiglass partition, with him reaching for his mother and wife and kids. My family is traumatized over not being able to be near him. Now they are all in quarantine for weeks. His wife also tested positive from what I know. But that is creeping close. 😟 it's not going away anytime soon either. Hope you are mask shopping. I am going to ask my dh to make more.
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Candy-678: I did have CT scan and Bone scan last week. I see MO next week so am trying not to think about results so I won’t worry every day. Trying to keep scanxiety at bay. Checking patient portal each day to see if results are posted yet.
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Good Morning Ladies, sorry it's been so long posting. I hope everyone is doing well and good luck for those getting scans this week.
I have a MO visit this morning at the cancer center. First one at the center in a couple of months. I'm so glad they have discount the teleconferencing, I'm not a big fan of those.
Sorry about your loss Micmel. Convid 19 would be alonely way to go. Let's hope they get a vaccine soon. I've been struggling what to plan for travel this summer. I feel like I need to take advantage of the time I am feeling pretty good and travel to see some sites I've been wanting to see. I also don't take more chances of catching something.
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Simone~Hi ya! Welcome back! 🤗 I totally can understand why you would want to do all you can do while you’re feeling good.. I know things are opening up, but my DH said it feels like creepy. Like you don’t want to be too close now , and you stop and think more now on what you’re touching and your surroundings. He said some wore masks. But it just seems like those few that feel for some reason they are not going to get this , or that laws and rules just apply to everyone else. It’s ridiculous. I don’t agree with the protesting either We need to be safe. Can’t just ignore. I am scared to leave my house and people are fist pumping and hugging. Like. Hello???? Been around lately ? Cray Cray. Don’t want it to come around worse again. Good luck at your appointment....
thinking of you all and your appointments
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Mel, I am so sorry to hear about your loss due to covid 19. It is hard to imagine having to go alone. I hope vaccines will happen sooner as opposed to later so people can be with their families at anytime.
Candy, I am OK now, it's opened, utensils are container with a lid and I was able to pull myself out of the funk. The container will prevent that from happening again, threw out the bent fork.
Weather does not help either, rainy and cloudy.
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Mel- So sorry about your godfather. This COVID is awful, worse than awful. So sad. To die alone.
I saw a thing on the news and I just bawled.... A woman in her 90's in a nursing home. Her husband, in his 90's also, came to visit. The woman was in a wheelchair on the front lawn of the nursing home and he was in the passenger seat of a car. He rolled down the window and yelled to her " I LOVE YOU". Damn. He should be able to be with his wife in their old age. This virus is more than just an illness. And there is more victims but just the ones that get the virus. Never seen anything like what we are living in right now. Just awful.
Dodgers- Sorry to remind you.
In your pocket. Hugs.Got my Walmart pick up stuff today. Allowed to choose 1 TP, 1 paper towel to put in my "cart", but when went to get stuff was told that those were out of stock. Also, light bulbs and trash bags out too. Good grief. And since I don't want to store hop I will just do without. Ready for all this to be better.
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due to a miscommunication between myself, dh, and the pharmacy I ran out of gabapentin yesterday. And my MO for this cycle decided to try me without pred - just to torture me I assume
I've had a fair bit of pain. Unable to get comfortable, unable to move, unable to fall asleep even with zopiclone. Watching my show didn't distract me, reading stuff online just made things worse, all my other tricks were failing. I flopped around in bed for a couple hours weeping, then dd came to sit with me for an hour and finally I decided to try an audiobook. I can really only focus on them when I speed up narration. Regular speed they usually put me to sleep. I woke lots but at least I dozed a bit.
Mostly I just wanted someone to knock me out
https://images.app.goo.gl/sU3TthXap2t8G4AF7It's a long weekend here but the pharmacy is supposedly open. He's gone to see if the ganapentin is ready.
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I hope the gabapentin is ready moth. It sounds very painful and I know how much gabapentin helps you. Keep us posted!
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Having my 1st scans Tuesday morning since starting treatments, could use some good thoughts my way as my Tumor Markers are staying the same as when I was DX in November. Can you say ANXIOUSX 100!!
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imagine~we are available for pocket duty for support. We all totally get it. Welcome To our Second home. Wrapping you in hugs!
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Moth, I am sorry you are dealing with pain. That can make things miserable and harder to deal with.
I will say, I listen to my audible books sped up too. I watch certain shows and movies that way too. Same reason, will fall asleep, but also, I want to get more books read. I have fallen a bit behind on the books but will catch up soon.
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Imagine reporting for pocket duty
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Imagine, I’ll be in your pocket for your scans too. I was in your place with first scans just about a year ago. Try to stay busy while waiting for results and think positive. Not easy, I know!
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Moth~Those people better make it happen!! Can’t Be without our medicine. I’m worried this is going to happen to Me this month. One of my favorite doctors has left the practice I’m devastated... I hate this shit. You form bonds with these doctors and then leave us behind. Ugh!!
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got the meds, had a late lunch and promptly fell asleep. The ganapentin helped a bit but not 100% w pain but it did make me drowsy . The pred was doing more heavy lifting than I'd realized in prev cycles.
Imagine & BevJen - reporting for Tuesday support crew duty
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Imagine- Pocket duty for Tuesday's scans.
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good luck tomorrow imagine! Take deep breaths and imagine you on a beach somewhere.
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