My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
Comments
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Karen, Congrats on the retirement! That's awesome. Are you going anywhere special to celebrate.
Dodgersgirl, I know what you mean about retirement is nothing like what you and your DH envisioned. I retired early too and believe you me we had all kinds of travelling we wanted to do. Plans just got blown up this year but I always think positive and we all here will have many more years. Travel plans were reduced and I'm hoping to see my Son and family next month.
My grandson turned 4 today and I sent him a birthday card with $50 in it today. It made my day when he called to thank me. He was so cute, he asked if that money was all his. He was so excited he was going shopping for a new toy. I'm sure my son is cussing me now lol. I was thinking those are the small things that keep me going.
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Simone~That story about your grandson melted my heart. That is so sweet. Wish I could have been a big fly on the wall to see his face. Light up! Atta grandma! Smiled as I read it.
Mae~looks delicious , I have DH in cake mission. Picking strawberry this time.
Karen~Hope you enjoy retirement... adjustment for everything. It's. Milestone for sure.
I turn the big 50 on may 25. Yikes. I have always been so young I cant believe it. And. Not that it's old or anything. Just never thought of myself as mid life. Maybe we. Can brush the day under the carpet since the covid will be around. With social distancing. I'll get away with no fuss. Well see I guess.
To everyone getting good results. Or acceptable results. At least the wait is over. Stable is what we need. It's all we can ask for. So congratulations on the results. !
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You are young Micmel. My first dx was when I was 40. I had 17+ years of NED before it came back. I feel lucky to have those years. I know many of you are young and denovo.
My SIL was complaining the other day about just turning 70. I just looked at her and said I would love to see my 70s. She shut up.
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Micmel: Happy 50th in advance. It is one day before my 47th wedding anniversary,(May 26) lt'll be 49 years in November since we started living together. I turn 70 in August. How the Hell did this all happen? I wrote an e-mail to a friend saying one day I was a skinny young thing with hand embroidered patches on my jeans and long wavy auburn hair and then suddenly ---- I am an old lady. I became friends with and later lived with/married a young man I got to know at the Amchitka Blast demonstration at the Peace Arch, March 1969. Classic.
Simone: Make it to 70. It is not all that bad and the alternative is worse.
Karen: I retired back in 2016. It was so liberating!! Congrats.
Stay safe and best wishes to everyone.
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Simone~ I will take the 17 more years. That’s awesome. Being Denovo was rough not going to lie. Never had the chance to feel like I got to even try to stay away from stage four. Immediately shocked out of my old life , Not that it works that way But my warped mind at the time needed rationalization. The entire cancer thing is still hard to process daily. Even after 4.5 years now
Elderberry~Thank you for the early wishes. And happy early anniversary! Hope you have a nice meal and a snuggle To celebrate. Anything planned. Time is fleeting my father told me a few years ago. Boy was he right. Insomnia struck again ladies. Ugh! Gn. Again.
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Elderberry - I just love that how-we-met story, although Ill admit I read that as the Amchitka BREAST rally at first
Mel - happy early birthday to you; as another Memorial Day-ish birthday person (a few days after) I think this is the best time of year to have a birthday although gee I wish this year's was under different circumstances. And I hear you about not getting a chance at a lower stage and how much that sucks.
MJ - damn thats a crazy big cake!
For all the ladies scanning - because it seems like quite a few right now (I guess we all just sync our scans rather than our periods??) good luck and no fear when you get on the scan tables.
Weather here is high 70s/low 80s and my tan is coming along nicely from sitting in the garden, although not quite the same as sitting on the beach in Florida as we meant to this year, or any of the other places we had planned to go. Usually we travel somewhere for my birthday (last year: Morocco, year before: Antigua) so to not be able to go ANYWHERE, cancer or no cancer, is a big bummer.
Stay safe everyone!
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Thank you for the retirement good wishes...at 55 it is early, but much as I enjoyed my job I don’t want the local authority taking away my QOL when I don’t know how long I have left. Not allowed out so no plans for travelling, bummer.
Mae you sound better and I envy your beach trip...Breathe in some sea air on our behalf would you?
Mel nearly a big birthday for you!
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Mae,
I am SO glad to see you back online. I am thrilled with your news. I had the exact same scan results....small progression in a lung lymph node, but both MO and Pulmonologist think it’s Sarcoidosis and not cancer. Anyway, I hope the eating issue is getting better. And I can’t wait to see where your next adventure takes you.
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SondraF: ha ha. Amchitka BREAST Demonstration. Is that where "radical feminists" went to burn their bras?
Micmel: In the Age of The Plague we can't really go out to celebrate. We might go to Fujiya,. Is is a Japanese grocery store that also has a take-away section for bento boxes, sashimi and stuff you don't usually see in your local sushi places -- like poached squash and those little eggplants sliced, hatch marked and roasted so they look like turtles. So we'll bring stuff home, light some candles.
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moth: can you share zopiclone tips?
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zopiclone tips? Yes!
So #1. The gross flavour and how it makes your mouth taste awful even the next day. The trick is to pretend you're a dog and need a "pill pocket". One option is soft white bread. If you pinch a bit from the inside of the slice, and kind of squish it you can make a flat and sort of sticky substance. Wrap this around the tablet, trying very hard to not touch the tablet and get residue on the outside. Make it a thin coating cause you need to swallow it so you don't want a huge blob but none of the tablet must show. Some people also use empty capsules and put the tablet inside. If you have some supplement you no longer use you could empty a capsule.
Now to take the pill.
sip some liquid BEFORE. You want to lubricate the throat
Swallow zopiclone in its covering
DO NOT DRINK NOW
instead, eat something to push it down. If you used bread, eat the rest of the bread. You want to push it down into the stomach. Stay upright about 3-5min, now you can have a drink and hopefully it will dissolve in the stomach . If any of it touches the mouth or esophagus you will get the gross taste.
#2 making sure you don't "miss the window". Zopiclone works FAST but if you miss the sleepy time, you will end up awake and it will seem to be not be working. I think it varies from person to person but 10--30 min seems common. My nursing drug guide says onset is "rapid"
You must have your sleeping prep all done. Pain relief taken, in jammies, pillows fluffed, nightstand organized, washed, peed, etc. The only thing is that after pushing the zopiclone with food means tooth brushing.... so brush teeth and hop into bed and immediately lights out and close eyes and do whatever else you just before sleeping, pray, meditate, count sheep, whatever. You cannot look at screens or books, or talk to people, get emotional, write down something you suddenly remembered. Nothing. Perfect sleeping room, eyes shut. It should take you away quickly.
Zopiclone - esp if you've taken it for a while- is too easy to override. It doesn't cause a huge drowsiness so if you end up talking or having to get up to remind others to keep the noise down (ahem - my house), during window of onset, you can find yourself wide awake. And now nothing can be done because you've already taken the dose.
Hth!
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That sounds similar to the way melatonin works for me. It can give me the nudge into sleep, but only if I don’t get busy and override it.
People wrap afinitor pills, too. Marshmallow is often recommended.
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Well all, I made it thru the CT scan and bone scan. I did not pee my pants !!! Woohoo.
My hospital is a rural hospital, but we have had COVID cases and deaths in our area. Of course, I wore a mask. At the door of the hospital they ask me if I have symptoms of COVID, if I have been around anyone with COVID, or if I have traveled. They checked my temp. Then they placed a red sticker on my shirt. The x-ray waiting room was essentially empty-- 1 other person, but they went on their way pretty soon. I saw a housekeeper wiping down chairs in another waiting room. The staff wore masks, of course. I felt pretty safe.
After the scans I went to the cafeteria to get something to go. I usually stop in there to eat since no food or water before the test. But I didn't feel comfortable sitting at a table. So I ordered a large cheeseburger--they have great cheeseburgers-- and left. I got home and changed clothes and washed my hands and enjoyed the burger with my cat (he always have to have a bite).
I don't know when I will get results--patient portal, phone call from MO office, or next Tuesday with MO visit (virtual or office, I don't know yet).
Tired. Stupid how a day like today can wear me out. I used to work 12 hour shifts. Now I am pooped after just doing the tests today.
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Of course scan day wears you out. I’ll wager it does most of us, with the physical and emotional demands. I had an eight-hour day at the cancer center recently — labs, doctor and nurse visits, injections, infusion. Lots of waiting around. I heard myself telling someone how unreasonable it felt that I had eight hours with only waiting room chairs and no place to lie down. Then I realized that I used to work eight-hour days without lying down. Well. It’s a different world. I think it’s adorable that your cat has to share the cheeseburger.
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Candy, Staying in your pocket as you wait for results. It’s hard not to worry, but hopefully all is fine and you don’t have to wait too long! I do feel like we’re on an every 3 or 4 month roller coaster. And I don't like roller coasters anymore. 😳
Elderberry, Neat story on meeting your husband at the march. My sister & her DH are a couple years older than you and have/had a big party planned for their 50th anniversary this summer. It’s looking doubtful now. And 70 is nothing, now that I’ve entered the 60s! I also have a new appreciation for celebrating and acknowledging my birthdays.
KarenFizEd, I just got your screen name! At first I thought it was a cool word I wasn’t familiar with. Lol. Congrats on your retirement. Sorry there wasn’t more recognition and fun with all the circumstances this year. I retired at 57 and was dx at 59. I’m feeling pretty good but doubt I would have been able or willing to keep up with working anymore. I try to stay active and busy but the stress is something I don’t miss at all. I hope you can get out and enjoy your new freedom before too long.
Mara, Your practice in walking and wearing the mask makes a lot of sense. I wear one out in public and at first it’s really hot and my glasses fog up. So I take off my glasses and after a while I try again and they don’t fog up, not sure why. Today the nurse at my MO office said she had panic attacks for the first few days she wore one, then realized it was the mask. She seemed fine today so I guess she’s adjusted to it. I have a couple of the rounded style coming, where it peaks on the nose then is lower under the eyes. I hope they help with my glasses problem.
I saw my MO today just for a check up. My 6 week Ibrance break is over, and she officially told me she’s retiring at the end of July. She suggested I transfer to a doc she knows closer to where I live, whom she thinks highly of. That sounds pretty good. I was expecting to become a patient of her replacement doc, who I read is coming from the competing big hospital in my city, and very popular. I may have to think about which to go with.
Mel, I hope you can enjoy your upcoming birthday. 🎂 50 is a milestone! And it’s on Memorial Day, right? So everyone gets the day off because you’re having a birthday. I would thank you if I was working. 😀
Hello to everyone else. 😊. It’s so nice to pop into Mel’s living room and find so many of you dropping in too. Comfy place, Mel! 🌺
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Candy, I for sure can empathize with how much chemo or scans take out of us. I have scans coming up and they are tiring and I have to spend hours at the hospital in order to get the chest port accessed for MRI and CT. It is quite a drag.
I did walk to and from chemo. The walk there was a bigger effort as I was tired from being up earlier than usual. I did pack several granola bars and ate two of them. Saw the doctor, got weighed. I weigh more but my clothes still fit so must be more muscular than I was before. The walk home was easier. I slept during infusion, got home, made lunch, dozed off and on sitting on the couch. Made dinner, dozed some more. Feeling well, just tired.
One very positive note is all the black beans and spinach being cooked has completely turned around my red blood cell count. Glad I still enjoy them.
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Candy and all,
Yup. Scan days are THE WORST. I had my CT yesterday, plus faslodex shots, plus labs, plus (and this is the funniest, considering that all of the rest were done at the hospital) -- a VIRTUAL doc's appointment. It was fine, and I'm getting more used to them -- but it was just so odd bc I was at the hospital for all of the rest, then drove home, then had to log in the virtual appointment. Truly weird. Haven't seen the scan report yet, but from what the doc read to me in our virtual meeting, it sounds like stable. Of course, we don't have my tumor markers back yet, and so if they have continued to rise, we will once again have a disconnect between the scan and the TMs.
Next week, in one day, I am having both an MRI of my liver (for the interventional radiologist) and a nuclear bone scan -- that second one I had put off when COVID hit. I'm not so scared of those two scans bc the CT seemed to be relatively okay. But still -- it's the stress, the dealing with the scans, etc. Truly, I think scans are the worst part of this whole MBC experience.
Good luck on the results, Candy. Fingers crossed.
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I have been away for a bit and A LOT happens here in just a few days! I admit I am too far behind to catch up. I look for names and think good, okay, here they are, checking in. Probably how Micmel keeps tabs on us all, making sure we touch base now and then.
I had an idea about this foul tasting sleep aid, zopiclone, that seems so awful to take. Would it work to make a batch of really stiff jello, cut the jello into cubes (all wiggly and wobbly) stick a pill into a cube of jello and slurp it down that way? I mean, who chews jello? It just kind of slithers down. Might work to get yucky pills down. PLUS it's always weirdly satisfying to cut jello with a knife.
I hope all are doing well or dealing with the curve balls life hurls at us. Love and hugs to all.0 -
Hello Ladies~It’s absolutely beautiful outside today here. I’m feeling half decent. I slept some more last night. Insomnia didn’t hit me last night. I can’t believe it’s already may 21, where did may go? Like we’ve been quarantined for what seems like over two months now. Went so fast as I look back. Still bored but am checking in for any needed pocket duty or holding hands with you waiting for results. Much love to all!
Runor~ Hello my friend. You’ve been missed. Hugs to you. Good to see you. Was getting ready to reach out.
Mae~good to see you’re traveling again. When do you leave ?
Ladies have a great day. I hope some smiles. Less pain. Little slices of happiness. Anywhere !!
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Hi all, it’s 84 degrees and I’m heading in the water soon. We arrived yesterday afternoon, here are some pics.
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I am so freaking jealous My goodness. Words cannot express. Good for you. You so deserve this break Enjoy every second with DH! Looks awesome and I hope you keep your great weather!!! Jealous!
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I puffy heart love the mermaid leggings!!!!
Are they the sunblocker & swimming rashguard type?
Treatment day for me. Just taxol today so lots of trying to stay awake to do the icing of hands and feet. My neuropathy in the hands is getting worse though it's not at the stage we'd need to stop, so I need to stay on top of the icing and hope it works this time as well as it did 2 yrs ago for me
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Oh god those leggings are fab - I need to know where to purchase those like STAT.
Thank you for the beach photos Mae, it (well, any beach) is my favorite place to be in the world and I have to make do with a yucky river bank this year
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SondraF,
Regarding the large cake; everything is BIGGER in America!!!! Haha
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moth; Good luck with the Taxol today. I was terrified of neuropathy in my hands. My favourite things are sculpting, painting, beading. I seem to have (knock on wood) dodged that bullet. The tips of my fingers feel like I have been playing guitar all my life. It is like the sensation of having callouses
Thanks for the zopiclone tips. I actually do okay getting it down in spite of the taste. However, your tip is great for anyone who has trouble with pills. I am always: teeth brushed, face washed, in my jammies before I take any last thing at night pills. The "window" item was interesting and may very well explain my problems with it. I am not timing it right. I think I take it too soon, well before lights out, so I get dozy then perk right up and lie awake trying to occupy my brain. Awful. At worst I have "ear worms" of music I despise. At best I think about jumping out of bed and sketching a doll costume design. I will try just before lights out. The weird taste in the am. I have become used to and my apple cider vinegar gummies does the trick.
runor: jello for zopiclone. Funny and excellent.
Illimae: those are wonderful leggings. 84 degrees. That is actually much too hot for me. I am a total whimp, a child of more temperate climes. I am waiting for the sun to come back. My tomatoes in my veggie patch were just starting to flower before all the chill and rain moved in.
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The leggings are actually pajama pants, it’s a set from Torrid (last year).
84 is hot outside but the water temp felt like 73 and I found some cool shells and piece of coral.
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I want to go ! Lol. Child tantrum lol.
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Candy and BevJen, hoping results are stable and no new surprises. Mae your PJs are a hit with me too!
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Karen,
Thanks for the note. I haven't seen the scan report yet, but the MO read me part of it yesterday afternoon during our video visit (so not sure why she hasn't released it yet on the patient portal.) Basically, it was stable. However, I'm pretty sure my tumor markers are up again -- she alluded to that in an email today. So there is still something brewing -- we just don't know where. Big sigh.
Next Wednesday I have a nuclear bone scan and an MRI of my liver and abdomen -- so not done yet for this round. More fun to come. Yay!
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Hi, good to see You Mae, travelling and by the sea! I have always loved sea shells. Enjoy the sun and eat some good food.
Keep trying to catch up, but so many posts. My thoughts are with all the ladies in Micmels living room.
Take care everyone
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