My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer
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Just got back from a mall walk with brother, SIL and my nephew. It was too hot and humid to go to the park. We went to a mall with my favourite chocolate balls, got 100 since they were 3 for a dollar, good deal. I will have to be disciplined not to eat a bunch, got some vegan crabcakes at the grocery store as well as seasoning, and ranch dressing. Will find a way to incorporate into meals as well. We will see.
Not that I count a steps as much as I used to but I will say we went 2.25 miles and had a total of 54 walking minutes which was good. Just shows how many steps I can get just wandering a mall.
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I posted on the liver thread - I'm in horrible state, MO almost wanted to remove me from chemo which would mean switch to hospice. My liver is very high. I have to redo blood work tomorrow; hope it's better or she might halt the treatment. I put pix of my liver results in the blog & IG. I'm very upset about everything
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I’m so sorry Moth. I’m keeping you in my prayers and wishing you good vibes. I hope your liver numbers drop and you are able to stay on treatment
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Moth-So sorry for what you are going through. Just sitting with you here in the living room.
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Moth, I too am so sorry to be reading about this. I don't blame you about being upset. Know we all care and think about you so much and are all there in your pocket as well.
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moth, I am sorry as well. I looked at your blog. You are a wonderful writer who is really giving triple negative a voice. I really hope your liver numbers drop
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Moth- there are no words to describe what you must be feeling at this time. I do hope your liver numbers come down so you can give this treatment a shot to help overall. We are beside you !
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Thinking of you Moth, praying for better liver labs for you.
Damn this disease.
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Moth,
I’m holding your hand (virtually) and praying that you have a better day.
Boo
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Moth - sending prayers and virtual hugs your way. Same goes to Mae and all others struggling here.
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Mara, you recently mentioned that digestive enzymes helped alleviate your digestive issues. What are the enzymes you're taking (or that you took).0
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Moth- Holding your hand and giving you a gentle hug.
Mae- I am so sorry you are struggling.
So hard to read of those that are hurting.
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Moth~thinking of you and hoping for better results tomorrow. Gentle hugs…
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moth, I'm SO sorry! I can't offer anything but my caring, love, and virtual hugs! I hope today is a better day and that your MO will continue your treatment.
mae, I hope your nausea is getting under control.
I have Kleenex for anyone who needs it. I just want to sit in mel's living room and cry. I hate what this disease is doing to us!!!
Carol
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I cried on the way home from the hospital. I had walked this morning and only got 2/3 way there before taking a bus, got lightheaded when masked in the cancer clinic.
After my Herceptin, checked when the bus was coming, it would not have come for another hour so stupid me, decided to walk. I did not let myself stop, just kept going, started stress crying about 2.3 of the way home. I did hydrate the whole way, bout every second street and I did make it home and collapse on my couch. I was not overtired due to leg weakness, just underestimating my lack of endurance in humid weather. I will have to find my neck fans or else have to purchase more, cannot walk anywhere when it is like this. If I am stuck walking, need to use my walker to sit. Wig and pants taken off, wearing a pair of bike short undies, no one should be coming. Going to my room to cool off more quickly. Also need to bump up the indoor cardio on the treadmill as well as march more so that this weather is not so tough on me since I cannot UBER all the time.
On a positive note, got to watch ObiWan Kenobi on Disney plus and it was pretty good.
Edited to add that I did lay down, did not sleep, just lay there in the air conditioned air and did cool down quite a bit. Much cooler with the undies and no wig.
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Sunshine, there is a lot of bad stuff going on to many of us here in the living room, in your pocket to relieve some of your sadness.
Mae, hoping they get hold of the nausea soon. In you pocket as well.
Moth, I still cannot express how sorry I am this is all happening to you. In your pocket for support and strength.
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Moth I hope in your head that you can get a picture of all of us standing around you like a small digital army. You are so loved here. I wish I had wise words to say that would make this better but I don't. I just hate this for you. Know I am pulling for you and you are in my thoughts.
Mae I am pulling for you also and hoping that things adjust and you can get back to life and work on the cabin as normally as possible.
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Moth, I hope your blood test results are better tomorrow. I am sorry for everything that is happening to you. You have been so diligent about researching options and working with your MO to get the treatments you need. It shouldn’t be this hard. It is not surprising that you feel emotional and mental stress. You must feel like there are roadblocks at every turn. All these things must bring on anger, frustration, fear, sadness, and emotional and physical exhaustion. MBC robs us of so many of our life accomplishments, dreams, and plans. We will continue to be here for you. Please come here to vent, to scream, to complain, or just to talk. Although we can’t be with you, you are in our thoughts and hearts. I am sending a virtual hug along with everyone else’s.
Mae, I hope you feel better and that if the nausea and vomiting doesn’t subside, I hope a medication to help can be prescribed. Be sure to stay hydrated.
Carol, Things are stressful right now both on this thread and in the world. I have cried many tears in the past few weeks and have used lots of Kleenex. I know it is difficult to read bad news here, but, as you know, that’s what this site is about. We share news, good and bad. We share information. We give support and receive it when needed. People like you keep people like me going. Luckily, there are many people here to provide the support, give a listening ear, send virtual hugs, and genuinely care about others they have “met” on these boards. Thank you and so many others for all you do. (I won’t name names because I wouldn’t want to leave anyone out.)
Hugs and prayers to everyone from Lynn
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Feeling somewhat better today using a different combo of nausea meds that MO prescribed. I still threw up first thing this morning and around noon but I have been able to eat and feel ok, week and exhausted but ok for a few hours at least. Food is my focus now as the last couple of days have been little more than bile. I try to stay hydrated too but I puke at the first sip just to take my darn meds.
It was a struggle but I showered today, so yay for that 🙂
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mae, good to hear from you and that you're feeling just a little bit better.
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I apologize for copy/pasting from another thread but I wanted to share my thoughts with those not on the liver thread
moth: I held off replying because I am so at a loss for words. Everything sounds trite when it cannot be combined with tight hug. I am so glad I met you back in the Fall of 2019 with other ladies from BCO. I am so sad that card deck of life has dealt you such a crappy hand. You have been a wealth of support and information for all us fellow travellers. Or - using the card deck analogy- is that Fellow Gamblers? You need a Royal Flush. (I don't play cards, I just watch a lot of Maverick reruns) I am angry for you that a bright future in nursing has been snatched away. I am sad and angry that you are in pain and scared. Swear words don't cover it and my vocabulary is bereft of the appropriate ones.
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Just to post a brief update. I had labs and a bone scan today, going for a CT and my faslodex/xgeva shots tomorrow. Labs are good. ANC is 1.3 which is acceptable and I am just a little anemic which might account for some of my fatigue lately. The bone scan was good news. It showed no progressions or fractures but the two spots in my spine at T8 and S1 are brighter than on the last one. Overall impression read stable though so I will take that any day of the world.
I rarely get a lot of scanxiety but I had it for this one. I was so nervous that I stopped for fish tacos at my favorite food truck after everything was done. My pain levels have been almost debilitating at times. It feels like I don't have the strength to stand up straight any more and when I try I wear out. I'm going to talk to my MO on the 9th about maybe trialing a low dose steroids (dex maybe?) and if I should add an iron supplement.
Mae - glad to hear you are getting a little relief. I am in hopes it continues to improve for you. Yay for showers! I so empathize with how hard it is just to get that done sometimes.
Elderberry - thank you for posting to this thread your thoughts. I think you spoke well for a lot of us. I just wish in life there was a magic wand. If I had one I would lend it first to Moth and then gladly pass it around the room. Cancer obliviate! That's what we need.
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emac, I wasn't able to schedule my CT scan due to a shortage of contrast dye. I usually have my bone and CT scans on the same day, but this time it will just be the bone. It's on the 15th. They hope to have the contrast dye by July.
BTW, I love fish tacos. I thought they sounded weird when I first moved to San Diego in 1984. I got over it.
Carol
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thinking of everyone and hoping we can all come to some mindset that brings us some sort of understanding that none of this is our fault. None. It does seem like words don't cut it, nor can that magic wand appear for us. I have days where I am flat out smooshed in cancer land. Crying days. Days of anger. Days of just plain sorrow and emotional duress. But those days that are far and few between that cancer doesn't rule my day. I cling to those so strong We've all been dealt the lemon card. I hope so do I hope that for each scenario there will be an answer and the needed tx to limp us along to where we can enjoy more of those days we cling too.
Love to all
Well said elderberry
Holding moths hand.
Congrats for stable emac
Never had fish tacos. Interested.
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moth is supposed to start a new chemo treatment today, according to her blog.moth, know that we're in your pocket, holding your hand, or whatever you need.
Carol
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Moth- Lots of pocket duty today for you.
Emac- Congrats on the stable bone scan. Pocket duty for the CT.
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Best wishes for today Moth - if this was a more stable forum with better functionality I would post the Leslie Nielsen gif from Airplane! where he wishes Ted good luck
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thinking of you Moth today.
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Moth, still thinking of you, good luck on the treatment.
In everyone's pocket who needs it.
Sunshine trying to share your image here for moth. If it worked you will see it down below.
Wow, the property managers are finally doing something I can get behind, asking us to take garbage out front for regular city garbage collection, I like that a lot. They are giving us an outdoor bin for each unit to use. I did ask if I have to cart the whole bin over, we will see. It would make the back less messy as they don't pick up the trash regularly. I also asked them to get me a recycle bin as my original was stolen. We'll see how it works out. I also have a bin where I collect trash until I take it out as well so this will give me two spots.
The above is for Moth from Sunshine and me too and for Mae as well hoping things will keep improving.
In everybody's pocket as we all need that every once in a while.
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Moth- always in my thoughts
Emac- yay for stable bone scan. Also in your pocket for CT
Mae- hope you are starting to eat a bit and keeping it down.
Mara- in humid weather I won't even walk down the road. I'd be crying too. Just know your limits and don't push yourself!
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