Starting Chemo October 2018
Comments
-
April, I agree with Casey and Fritz, I'd want to use all the weapons in the arsenal to be done with this crap. Didn't tell you all, but my cancer has metastasized to my bones. It's not big, no lesions or masses, MO thinks it's early enough to knock out completely with chemo and rads. She is still talking cure, so I want to throw EVERYTHING at this thing and be done with it forever. I want to never have to do this stuff again.
So, I guess I'd want to know the mountain lion is dead. Then I'd like to run it over with a semi, then shoot it, then drag it by it's tail and hurl it off a cliff and listen for the splat. You know what I'm talking about?
0 -
Patrice I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve moved to stage 4, but that is incredibly encouraging that your MO is still talking about you being able to be cured. Like more amazing than I can even begin to describe with words through this forum. Where can I get an MO like yours? You’re a superwoman with all of your strength and encouragement to us all. Huge hugs to you
0 -
Fritz, Patrice, Sadlynew thank you for the encouragement, it’s greatly needed now. I feel glad to know I’m not alone but sad to know others are going through this with me because I know how awful the emotional part of this let alone the physically feeling shitty through this garbage. I’ve been a heap the last 2 days some nights grabbing my pillow and quietly crying so hard knowing if I fully let go I’d be screaming. Inside I feel like I’m screaming all the time because it’s all bullshit. I’ve gotten through some of the bullshit but know I have to wade through more.
I dunno if this helps those approaching #4 but I didn’t need my nausea meds hardly as much this time. I also did it without the at home steriod that crap didn’t do anything for nausea only made me feel like I wanted to crawl up a wall I was so antsy and wired on those things. I’m gonna need to talk to my MO about those for the taxol and see what options I have.
Sunday morning I go home to hubbys arms. It feels like an eternity away especially when I feel like this. He is putting final touches on house and making sure it’s good for me to come home to. WBC were slightly low today at my last appt today to check counts before I go home, but nurse practitioner says should be fine to travel in a car and I’m on preventative antibiotic for 5 days as extra precaution, said counts will be pretty normal by Tuesday and perfect for thanksgiving. Next oncologist appt back home isn’t until the 4th of December so I get alittle break to breathe, not complaining. I also want to share I’ve had major shrinkage and my tumor is soft now confirmed by doctor just before #4. Anyone else keep checking every so often?
Thank you again everyone. Here’s to all of you approaching #4 you can do it!
0 -
Patrice sorry about your news but very encouraged your MO is using the word cure so that’s very good. It is my understanding they don’t use that word “cure”lightly so the fact she’s saying it is good. Dang girl your stage 4 encouraging me at Stage 2. I am humbled. If anyone could kick stage 4 ass it would be you.
0 -
Rabbit, so awesome that you feel like your tumor has shrunk!! I try not to feel too often because I over analyze what I think I feel, when in all honesty I have no idea what it should feel like. My boobs are very lumpy normally so my tumor went unnoticed by everyone including my OBGYN. My MO physically manipulates my affected breast, and lymph node every time I see him. According to him, after TAC #1 it decreased by 20%. #2 it was 50% reduced, and then right before I got in the chair for #3, he said reduction by 70% and could no longer feel my lymph node. I am cautiously optimistic that the chemo will continue to work well the next 3 treatments, but I’m honestly terrified the shrinkage will stagnate and I’ll have residual cancer when I go in for BMX.
0 -
Had my 2nd TCHP infusion today, had a meltdown in the beginning because my labs from the prior day were never sent to the lab so they had to redo them this morning and delay my infusion 2 hours making for a long day. I feel bad for getting upset but it totally added to the stress, I guess we’re all entitled to vent. Feeling good tonight because of the steroids but not looking forward to the SEs that are coming. Hang in there everyone
0 -
Hey ladies! Rad....pretty much what everyone else said! Especially the cuss like a sailor part!! Ha! I told my hubby last night "fuck this. I'm done". Of course he responds with "no your not, you have kids and me and we all need and love you and are here for you 100% and you WILL get through this!" Awww, how sweet, right? My response " fuck off, your not the boss of me!" And...I went to bed. Lmao. Look, we all have our meltdowns, and definitely handle things differently. There is no right or wrong way to do this. But, we're doing it. Oh, and I'm with you on the fear of taxol! I feel like maybe I'm a bad influence. Haha. Obviously were gonna do what doc says...well maybe ?
So happy you get to go home!!! That will most likely give you a whole new mindset! Hugs to you!Patrice...that SUCKS! How did you find this out? I will say, when I first got my diagnosis I was all over this board cause I was convinced I had mets SOMEWHERE. In doing that, it almost made me feel better. I'm a plan for the worst type of person
Anyway, ya, bone mets totally curable. And, god knows, you'll be the one to do it!I'm on day 4 of my last treatment (probably not my last but I say that after every infusion haha). Steroids lowered and seem to be doing better than last time. But, let's be real, it all sucks! Not sure if this helps, but this is how I handle my "bad" thoughts. I push that shit way down...down to my toes. Dont think about it, talk about it. This is just a very temporary set back in my GREAT life. I have too much shit to do. One of my kiddos is graduating in may of next year and, after 10 years, I have to meet his stepmom. Crazy huh!! They live in a different state. Anyway, I'll be damned if I'm not gonna be cured and looking GREAT by then! Oh, and then theres all my boating and camping plans over the summer. Plus, I've got vegas in September! THIS is what motivates me...I've got stuff to do! Hope this helps??
Have a great weekend ladies and keep on keeping on! 😘😘😘
0 -
Casey, I needed to hear your words this morning. I’ve been struggling the past few days mentally. Today is my daughter’s 4th birthday. I’m going to take your motivation and run with it. I have too much shit in my life to do!!! I just wish someone could tell me it’s actually going to be ok
0 -
Fritz...ITS GONNA BE OK! We actually have the same diagnosis so...WERE GONNA BE OK! WERE ALL GONNA BE OK
Were gonna piss and moan, and cry and laugh and be zombies at our kids bday, but were gonna be ok Let's ALL go to vegas in September and party like the rock stars we are! 😘😘😘😘😘0 -
fritz- that’s excellent news about the shrinking! I keep thinking to myself for how shitty this crap makes us feel it darn well better shrink or do something!
Casey you gave me some words of wisdom and a good chuckle thank you!
Newfromny- hope side effectsare being kind to you!
I second fritz sentiment, I think we all just wanna know it’s gonna be ok. But as Casey said we’ll be ok, we’re ok so far and overcoming great obstacles. I got one more sleep til I’m home, gonna be longest night of my life!
Patrice has your MO mentioned starting you on Zometa? It’s hormone therapy to stop cells from growing in early bone Mets. I’m already on Zoladex Hormonal therapy ovarian suppression to help with shrinking and stop estrogen from fueling my cancer. Started it when I started AC. Since you mentioned throwing the kitchen sink at this bad boy I thought I’d mention it. An article I read on here mentioned that therapy and what it’s for and I thought of you.
0 -
Rabbit, today's the day!!! Soak up that first hug from your hubby! So happy you’re going home
0 -
Good Morning Warriors,
Rabbit- so happy that you will get to be with you husband today. Enjoy being in his arms!
I can happily tell you all that my anniversary dinner was finally done. We went to dinner last night and had a wonderful evening. So glad we went out.
I hope everyone is doing well this weekend. Those of you are in the chair this week, I hope you have no/minimal se. Remember to hydrate, eat, rest, exercise(even a little), and repeat.
I can't believe Thanksgiving is this week. I am looking forward to cooking that day. I really enjoy cooking for holidays. It also means I can officially start decorating for Christmas!
I want to say that I am truly grateful for being on this board and having you all to talk/vent with. Being apart of this group isn't what any of us wanted, but I love how we support one another. You all are awesome, strong women!
0 -
Rabbit!!!!
You made it!
Go home, enjoy, relax.
❤❤❤
0 -
Happy Sunday all you tough beautiful ladies! I just wanted to drop in and catch up on you all and say HELLO! I hope you all have been able to enjoy your weekend inspite of se's!
I completed AC 3 weeks ago and had my first of 12 Taxol treatment this past Tuesday. So far no se's other than feeling run down quicker, but not bedridden like I would be for a couple of days with the AC. And I am taking Senna to manage not getting constipated. Other than that, ok. I have been able to run 5 miles since Tuesday's treatment, and enjoyed driving myself down to the outlets for a little retail therapy. I have'nt felt like shopping for anything "special" since this mess all started, but decided I wanted a new purse. It was a quick trip, but I enjoyed it. I did some food prep last week before my Taxol treatment, and I have been better about eating fresh veggies that are readily available. I seem to function better eating healthy.
Hang in there ladies! Better days are ahead for us all.0 -
Ladies, I’m about to walk in to my first breast cancer support group at the local cancer care center. I’m scared. I don’t know how this will make me feel. My therapist asked me to try one, so here goes nothing.
0 -
Back in the land of the living after A/C seven days ago. It took me a while to read and catch up. You all are amazing woman.
Patrice - I am thinking of you daily. Your post are always so encouraging and strong.
Every time I am ready to quit, am curled in a fetal position, crying and saying no more, I come here. I am comforted, encouraged and told I am not a loser for feeling the way I do.
Annie
0 -
Annie60, hang in there!! Our bodies and EVERYTHING is being thrown out of whack. It helps me to hop on here and see there are others going through the same thing and we can share. We can relate to each other. Loving the life we've been blessed with on the good days helps get through the bad days, and we can look forward to those good days again. And once we get through this, life will be sweet!
Fritzmylove, that is awesome! I love talking to others who are or have been down the same road. I've learned things and great tips about how to survive this time. We can cheer each other on!
Have a blessed week and THanksgiving ladies!
I go for Taxol 2/12 today. I am so thankful to be past AC!!0 -
hi everyone!
Fritz, how did the meeting go? Did you find it helpful?
Annie, so glad to hear that week is over. I’m dreading it again but once it’s here, I know it will pass. We can do this!
Smiling dawn, how have you found Taxol to be vs ACT? What is the recovery period like? I’m set to do weekly Taxol as well and would love to know it’s better (if that’s even an appropriate word in this context!)
Well, everyone, I’m scheduled for my AC#4 tomorrow. Yes, the day before thanksgiving. I’m thinking Friday will be my really bad day, so maybe that will cut down my online shopping and save me money. Lol. Silver linings right? For all those having treatment this weekend, thinking of you. Drink drink drink. And then then drink some more. I drank with my 1st and 3rd and not so much on my 2nd and could tell the difference so much. Hoping this one passes quickly. I’ve grown so tired of the red stuff and neulasta box attached to my tummy.
We are doing this, y’all. Yes, even you, Casey - you are keeping strong even when it’s hard. Day by day. :-) Let’s keep going everyone. We can do this!!!!!! We’ve come so far!!!!
0 -
On day 5 after 2nd infusion feeling lousy but get such inspiration from all of you, looking forward to the good days. My daughter is here for the week and she’s been great made delicious blueberry muffins this morning, making sure I eat. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, we have this!
0 -
For everyone having treatment this week, I hope you’re still able to enjoy Thanksgiving.
The support group last night was... different. I felt good having gone, but it was a bit difficult. I was the only one that broke down into tears when talking. I was also the youngest by at least 20 years, and the most recently diagnosed so that played a big part. Everyone was very nice and supportive. The nurse that helps facilitate the meetings happened to be the nurse that was with me in the room during my biopsy and on the phone when I got my diagnosis, so that was nice. I will probably attend the next meeting to see if I’m a little more emotionally stable.
0 -
Hello my friends -
Annie, the good news is that you have 1 more treatment done, and I believe that marks 1/2 way for you, which is awesome! You are not a loser, you are simply human. Don't be so hard on yourself, this crap is HARD on all of us. Hang in there, you are getting thru it one step at a time.
April - good luck in the chair tomorrow, so brave of you to schedule it when you did, The advantage to having gone thru treatments before is that you can figure when your "good" days will be and adjust accordingly. Go get 'em lady, you already know the routine, drink, drink, drink...
NotGivingUp - so glad you got the anniversary dinner in, now you get to enjoy your Holiday se free! Cook, decorate, do whatever makes you happy.
NewfromNY - gotta say, I'm super jealous of the blueberry muffins, sounds wonderful. I'm sure having your daughter there to take care of you will go a long way to making you feel better. Good days are on the horizon.
Fritz - I'm glad you took the leap and went to the meeting. I believe sometimes it helps to verbalize what its like to experience this trauma. Just saying it out loud is a relief, and sometimes there are things only someone who is actually being chased by the mountian lion can truly understand. You gotta breakdown, and it sounds like you chose a safe and empathetic place to do it. You ARE emotionally stable, this BC nonsense is just an incredible amount of baggage to carry around. Don't feel guilty about asking for someone to help carry it once in a while. You are entitled.
Casey - I just love reading your posts, such great advice, and always guaranteed to make me laugh. Yes, you are absolutely a bad influence (bet I'm not the first person to tell you that) but it is fabulous. I think my new mantra is going to be "I've got shit to do" and I will give you all the credit for that quote.
Rabbit - hope you are loving being home and taking a break from treatment. Thank you for thinking of me re: Zometa. My MO is going to revisit strategy once chemo is done and new scans are taken.
Where are our others at ? Taurus, Joules, Sister, eachday, et al, check in so we don't worry too much please.
Thank all of you for your kind thoughts and words, all are much appreciated. I'm going to be fine, and the advantage of being technical stage IV, according to MO, is that we can throw all kinds of neat stuff at this crap and insurance will happily approve. So we are going to be super aggressive, which I love.
I'll be getting #4 and final AC on Friday. Can't wait to be done and move on to the next step. Good luck to all getting in the big girl chair this week. We are moving thru this so quickly and with such grace, you are all awesome. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, eat when you can, drink as much as you can, then drink some more.
I'm thankful for each and every one of you who are helping me on this journey. Don't know how I would have gotten this far without you all. Cheers!
0 -
AC #4 is done! I can’t tell you how good it feels to have the last one done. I don’t necessarily look forward to the rough hill over the next few days but I’m envisioning a mountain lion being eaten by a whole lot of red stuff! I plan to drink a ton and hopefully get through this last one. I’ve got 12 taxols coming my way after. These little milestones are so crucial, at least to me. It’s a long journey but the milestones help to make it like short accomplishments.
Sending good thoughts to all. I am so very thankful for each and every one of you. This forum has been so supportive. I’m sad we are all here. But thankful all of our paths crossed.
Happy thanksgiving everyone.
0 -
Sadlynew201, Taxol has been a whole lot better so far. I did 2/12 Tuesday. Yesterday was the day after my second treatment and I felt almost 100 %. I even ran 4 miles last night after work, and started making all my Thanksgiving dishes. So far this morning, I feel good. Last week after the first treatment I had some days that I ran down quickly, but I was never knocked down into bed. With the AC I would end up in bed for 2 or 3 days. I would wear out walking to the kitchen. I do not have that at all with Taxol. And no side effects. I do have to take Senna to avoid constipation, but that is it. I am drinking lots of water because I feel dehydrated all the time. And eating fresh fruits and veggies make a huge difference in my energy levels. No nuerothopy yet, and so far I have my eyebrows and eyelashes, but they are thinning out.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all! Hang in there! This time and season will pass for us all.0 -
I just wanted to wish all of you amazing strong women a very Happy Thanksgiving. I have many things to be thankful for and one thing is all you. Thank you for all your kind words, encouragement and inspiration. Your words help me more than I can express. My sister’s family and my family celebrated our Thanksgiving last weekend. We had such an amazing time. My DH and kids went up to Grand Forks, ND to celebrate thanksgiving with his family. They felt guilty leaving me but I convinced them to go.it makes me happy that they are there. I have just been sitting around in my PJs. It has been nice but I do miss them. I go for treatment tomorrow at the hospital. My sister is going to take me. Looking forward to one more done.
I hope everyone feels blessed this Thanksgiving
0 -
Happy Thanksgiving! I hope everyone is able to enjoy today. I enjoyed being able to make dinner for my little family. I did take some shortcuts with some of the dinner to help with not draining me.
For those who have finished recently, congratulations! This upcoming Thursday(the 29th) is my final TC. I'm looking forward to being finished with chemo, but also nervous because of the se from the last round. I will also admit that I'm nervous somewhat because of being triple negative. I will leave it in God's hands and my doctors's hands.
I'm truly thankful for meeting all of you. This has been a very supportive group. You have helped me through chemotherapy. I consider you all friends who "get it".
0 -
I hope everyone was able to enjoy Thanksgiving today if you are in the US and celebrate. I have so much to be thankful for, and one of those things are all of you amazing ladies.
Today I did a 5k with my siblings, nieces and nephews. They surprised me with shirts that said “jogging for Jill” and mine said Jill (my name, my dog’s name is Fritz 😊). When they all showed up in them I ugly cried. I am so blessed to have such an amazing family. We then had dinner at my parents’ house with the rest of the family. It was a good day.
0 -
I had my 7th T+H treatment at the hospital today and it was a long and emotional day but it went fine. It was 3 hours longer then usual. My amazing father was diagnosed with Leukemua in 2014 and spent the last 3 weeks of his life on the same floor I was at today. I was only 3 rooms down from his room. All my dads care team was wonderful but we were especially close to one nurse and she happened to be my nurse today. I think it was more than coincidence that she was my nurse today, she remembers my dad and us like it was yesterday. We had a lot of stories and nice to hear how she was doing. She meant so much to us during a difficult time. the aide was the person that my dad thought was me when he needed a sitter due to a adverse reaction to Ativan. He was getting aggressive and having hallucinations She had many fond memories of my dad even though it has been many years since his passing. and a social worker stopped in to see me even though I wasn't on her rounds. She just happened to walk in. she was very involved with things with my dad. I Didn't like her that much at the time probably because she had to talk to us about all of the end of life things but she was wonderful today so it was good to talk to her A lot of memories some bad but many good. My sister and I were able to have a lot of good talks. I’m so glad she was with me today It was an amazing day in a very unique way
0 -
Jill-I love the picture of your family. It sounds like you had an amazing day with all of them. Family is amazing!!!!
0 -
Jill, I LOVE the picture!! You have an awesome family and support!!
Sisterstrong, Wow. That sounds like a very hard and emotional treatment with so many memories, but glad it went well.
Notgivingup, YAAY! I hope your final treatment went well! Congrats!
Hoping you all had a Happy Thanksgiving!
Taxol 3/12 will be this Tuesday. So far, it's going much better than AC. AC would knock me down into bed for 2 or 3 days, and I had so many uncomfortable se's, like acid reflux and heartburn, bad constipation. I have not had those se's this time around and not taking any med's other than Senna to avoid constipation. I eat alot of cheese, so I think I am causing it by diet. I was even able to hang out with my kids and go black Friday shopping yesterday. A little tired and achey, but thankful I am not bedridden. Can't wait to be on the other side of all of this!!
Have a great weekend Ya'll!!0 -
Ccaxt, thank you for sharing. With the Holidays and all, I have not been doing much on my laptop. I had 15 people over for Thanksgiving but luckily, the whole family made it happened. I only had to give direction and a few tasks here and there. I was feeling good. As the days get closer to the next round, I feel my best and then WHAM, "I get knocked out, then I get up again". The second was a little more challenging on my 3rd and 4th day. I felt miserable, huge migraine that lasted both days and horrible constipation. Now dealing with painful hemorrhoids and diarrhea due to all the constipation medication and still painful hemorrhoids! Those 2 days felt as if I had the bad case of the flu. Fortunately, by the 5th day I started to feel almost normal except battling with insomnia.
Now let's see what the 3rd round holds on Wednesday. As long as I do not have to take steroids at home, I am happy.
Take care!
0
