Buckle up ladies, Puketober is upon us
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finallyoverit that made me laugh, too. Thanks for the laugh and reminding me that I may be asked to donate. Now I will be ready. Think I might say 'I already donated a breast and a piece of my brain'.
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8 down...23 to go. Everyone hanging in there?
I must admit, I haven’t seen as much pink-washing that I normally do. Maybe unconsciously, I’ve been avoiding places that go all out. That’s probably a good thing because it’s hard to control my mouth when uneducated people go on and on about “the cause”.
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I threw out everything I owned that was pink. I bought a pair of pale mauve undies earlier this year. That was a milestone. I like peach (reminds me of Florida and looking /feeling tan). Pink was never a favorite of mine and never will be. I think of the awareness and money hopefully raised by all the racket and just go on with my day despite my local panera being adorned with pink balloons. Orange, black, red, dark green, brown, fall colors - think positive and chin up ladies...soon it will be November and everything will look dead as crap until April here in Ohio. LOL barf. Time to look for Frontier flights outta here!!!
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Just checking in.. only 10 more days and Puketober will be over for another year. Everyone hanging in there?
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In my neck of the woods, things are calm. I think the biggest push is at the beginning of the month, then it fades out by this time. There is still a get your mammogram at our hospital commercial that runs through thei week on tv and a couple more area buy our crafts for bc awareness type things but they are very low key.
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I'm happy to add that I'm not seeing the usual amount of pink madness in my area (metro Washington, DC). It's around, but nowhere near as pervasive as in previous years.
Tina
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Yeah, I tend to agree. I think the novelty wears off as the month progresses, so it’s onto the next thing. I used to love the beginning of fall.. I still do, I just wish it didn’t coincide with Puketober. Few more days.. we can do it
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you know....i am in treatment for some ortho issues and the treatment places are all in with the pink. I just try to ignore it. Was asked if I wanted to donate and politely said, “No.” But, then I decided to tell these young women where I stood with Breast Cancer Awareness. I told them I was very aware because I had breast cancer almost a decade ago and mammography missed my tumor. I also told these young women, dripping in pink, that when they turn 40 and agree to population based screening mammography, not to put too much stock in it. I told them, we,and especially they need better means of detecting breast cancer. And then, before I left, with the look of shock written all over their faces, I had this horrible thought....what about all of the breast cancer survivors and especially young breast cancer survivors who go to places of work where they are asked to wear pink and solicit donations for awareness when they are opposed to the cause....I never thought of that before and i was shaken.....soooooo...
i want to say....
for all of you sisters who work in such an environment...I AM SO SORRY. I have no other words...0 -
I was diagnosed one afternoon and the very next day was breast cancer awareness day in my office. Everything and I mean everything was draped in pink. I wanted to throw up. Truly one of the worst days of my life
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finally...from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry.
Can only imagine how you got through that first day....
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If someone asks if I want to donate to a pink cause, I say no thanks, I already did. And run my hand across my flat chest.
I will say too, around here I haven’t seen as much pink crap as in years past.
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@ voraciousreader~ thank you. It was awful. Of course, I had no sleep. It felt like I was having an out of body experience. Looking back, it was just the normal post diagnosis fog. My coworkers never knew.. they still don’t know all of these years later. Went through 3 surgeries, 4 chemo treatments, and 28 radiation treatments and not a single person knew.. that first day was seriously the worst though.
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I'm not the only one by the sound of it that is noticing it less - seems to be not as prevalent as in the past - maybe our voices are being heard?
Here's my Puketober lowlight ...
Local foundfation that raises money to provide practical help to local women going through bc - they actually do great things to help so they have my 200% support for what they actually do. However, they pinkwash the shit out of breast cancer - once again led by a woman who has not had breast cancer.
things like BBQ for Boobs - with the two o's in the word boobs pictured as "boobs" - pictured selling sausages which is a carcinogenic product. Pictures of fundraisers where a man is decked out in pink with a pair of fake breasts strapped to his chest - saying that our organisation is "all about boobs" ... It was interesting to me to read what this woman had to say about why so many of us hate October - from her perspective as a woman who likes to pinkwash breast cancer. She talked about how many women that have had breast cancer hate October due to thinking that a product turned pink isnt helping and it might remind us of an anniversay, that we're worried about where the funds are going but conveniently left out that a big part of it is the sexualisation and pinking up of an ugly cancer that has wreaked so much havoc in our lives. She goes on to say that October has a "pink message" attached ... which is apparently all about women who have never experienced the anger of cancer because they've never experienced it, telling us that breast cancer is pink and all about our boobs - that's the pink message I feel.
I proceeded to make comments about how it's time to put away the boob jokes and have more respect for cancer survivors. I wrote how angry the picture of the man with the breasts on his chest made me feel. I talked about how angry and offended I felt that breast cancer was being sexualised and trivialised. I provided links to opinions of other women about how this makes so many of us feel.
Well ... the president of this foundation deleted all of my comments and has now blocked me from commenting on this page - and also from her pinkwashed as hell page. I had not written on her page - I'd heard of this women until recently. But she's blocked me just in case ... Not once did I swear, I simply wrote what I felt about the images they were promoting and their style of fundraising which is to pinkwash and sexualise breast cancer. I felt that as a breast cancer "survivor" I had a right to have my say. Apparently not unless I embrace her style of what breast cancer is about - pink and boobs.
The moral of this story is as women that have had breast cancer and HATE all of the pink boobs crap we are not welcome at the table. We are not given a voice. We are removed from not only the table but the whole room. Breast cancer fundraising is about making breast cancer about "boobs", pink and secret messages that only women who havent had breast cancer understand. She leads a support group with the very psychologist who told me that cancer would definately come back and made jokes about me and my dad dying of cancer - which has caused me extraordinary levels of distress and depression - as if the cancer recurring wasnt enough. So condescending - don't speak out about our pinkwashing - then you're the ungrateful jerk. Squash your anger down girls - that's how we're treated. We live in a world full of women who think they understand but actually have no bloody idea - then tell us our feelings are wrong.
Anyone think I'm wrong?
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Finallyover... I am so sorry. I can imagine how all of the pink would make you feel.
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rubyredslippers:
No, I do not think you were wrong but unfortunately you were speaking to the deaf ears of a "do-gooder". Some crusaders do not realize that their actions are actually not appreciated when they trivialize the disease and the impact it has on other's lives. The fact that this same person co-leads a support group is equally disturbing. The most ludicrous thing is the man with the fake breasts which is clearly ignorant behavior since men may develop, need treatment for and also die from breast cancer. Breast cancer doesn't respect gender; it is the equal opportunity disease.
I spend this month trying to avoid thinking about or participating in anything about breast cancer. I have the physical and emotional scars from this dread disease as daily reminders and don't need any further reminders that my life was irrevocably changed when I was diagnosed.
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Many people have to get on the pink bandwagon because of these October events sponsored by their employer. They have to promote this perky pink atmosphere because that’s what all their co-workers are doing. And their bosses expect it. I have a feeling that there are many people not diagnosed with bc but more or less forced into the pink promotions due to work who wonder, gee, what the heck? Where IS that cure? I really believe that a certain segment of our population is kind of fed up with the October par-tay routine and wonder just what has been accomplished through all this effort. But they can’t go around their workplace saying negative things about Pinktober because that could really make them look bad. And I get that.Several years ago, I wrote a letter to the editor of my local newspaper about Pinktoberfest and the overabundance of the pink presence for bc awareness. One thing I mentioned was that not everyone who’s had a bc diagnosis is thrilled with Pinktober. I think those without bc think everyone with bc is a big fan of Pinktober. They may worry that they’ll offend us if they don’t act like it’s meaningful and may worry that we might think they don’t care. Hopefully, my letter gave insight to at least some in my community,
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thank you ladies for reading my post. I deleted it as I realised that I posted it as this was an active topic about October. I did not realise it was Stage IV only section. I admit I am afraid. I feel sad that I have deleted my post, in a topic that is so thoroughly deserving on any woman commenting, but I have deleted my comment out of respect for you all - that this is your section. I admit also that I feel afraid - and admitting that to you all makes me want to cry. I am so sorry.
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I can't stand it. Everywhere there are constant cheery reminders about a condition that is anything but cheery. It isn't cheery for Stage 1, 2, or 3, let alone Stage 4 patients. Football players sporting pink socks? Cheerleaders wearing pink bows in their pony tails? Grocery clerks asking for donations? Relentless and never-ending TV commercials? Morning "talk" show hosts all dressed up in pink? Food products re-packaged in pink boxes? Please...STOP...if all the $ that is invested in this pink-washing were used for MBC research, we might actually get closer to a cure. Like many other difficult and tragic things in this country, breast cancer has become a source of entertainment for people. Painting everything in pink and the pinking of October is a prime example of this. As a Stage IV patient, I detest all of it. :-(
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I arrived here purely by accident and am sorry if this is inappropriate, but there was a brief clip on Live PD asking for donations to the Breast Research Cancer Foundation, no pink on that little clip, even though the hosts of the show showed their pink socks. Okay, it just occurred to me their initials are BRCF, I am that slow.
I went to pick groceries up at Walmart on Saturday and the young man who came out with them had pink hair. He apologized for his hair, stating he had been the candidate for breast cancer awareness. I will admit, I did think that was kind of neat.
I did attend my first survivor group dinner a couple of weeks ago though, in October, and I did mention to them, in ordering a t-shirt, I'd rather have one that wasn't pink. I got a strange look from one of the board members, and realized, maybe I should keep my mouth shut.
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4 more days everyone.. and Puketober 2019 will be history!
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Well, here we are again. Another Puketober is upon us. 31 days, ladies.. we can do this! Hope everyone is well
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From my point of view, it seems coronavirus and the presidential election is overshadowing many of the big pink celebrations that people like to throw celebrating that women are able to make a party out of having breast cancer! There's been very little locally about Pinktober in my area, and I haven't seen a whole lot on tv. Which is fine by me.
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You’re lucky.. it’s all over here.
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I am agreeing with Divine. So far, not much here about BC yet. I am in Illinois, Divine in Ohio. Maybe middle of country concentrating on Covid and the Election. So far.
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Nothing here either, and this is my stage IV diagnosis anniversary 'month'. Ugh,what timing. Last year one of the BC charities tried to highlight MBC by calling us the "Unsurvivors" in their October ad campaign/charity drive. Holy moly the uproar over that on their own forum! Let's just say they backpedaled REAL fast from that one and issued an apology.
Covid sucks the big one, but if it means a year where everyone is focused on other stuff then I am fine with that. However - lots of news articles about how many missed mammograms due to stopped screenings etc so I imagine it will pop up at some point.
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BCO folks put this site together a few years ago:
Each year I wonder if the pink charities will be more honest about Stage IV people who hate the pink and fluffy hoopla, and the many men who are oblivious to the fact that breast cancer is genderless.
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The only time that I don't mind Pink October is when 100% of fundraising goes to a local all volunteer organization that provides gas cards, scholarship funds for prescriptions, medical services, grocery cards and help with utility bills. This is where I live and it is popular during October.
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WHY PINKTOBER SUCKS
Although I'm sure the cash registers tingle and people get out and have fun, remember it's at the expense of others who don't view breast cancer as pink and fluffy. We are not at all happy to celebrate this serious disease at any time of the year.
https://advancedbreastcancer.net/living/male-breas...0 -
puketober is so apt it's the reason why people who saw me as a survivor still say you beat it once but I'm aware I didn't. When I explain to them that yes I'm an eternal optimist and would loved to be one of the handful of women who end up NED for multiple years or life in the few cases but the cold hard fact is I didn't beat it the first time that's why it's here and if by any miracle I stayed NED I still wouldn't wear cheap pink boas I eoukd however tell my story in every way I could to raise awareness and give hope to my mets brothers and sisters. Luckily I'm not going to the shops due to Covid to see it here in the uk as I might just set fire to the synthetic materials ( I'm joking)
But make no mistake I'm a true warrior and us stage 4 people wear stripes and fight battles that no one else would ever understand hence our stage 4 forum I tend to stay within stage 4 now or I struggle to bite my tongue on the things that worry us now compared to then!!! I do tell my story to people in early stages and it's generally awkward for them as it was for me to hear back then but if the way I was misdiagnosed gets just one person to challenge a professional and not end up here then I feel there was a purpose!
The pink brigade stopped me researching mets and made me scared of stage IV ladies and gents when I was early stage as they weren't getting over it, how did they get there surely they could have been cured it made me awkward as I was repeatedly told to surround myself with survivors by medical staff as well as others. I say this at stage 4 totally ashamed of my thought process and lack of education those ladies and gents may have saved my life if I'd have listened to them rather than the dippy pink brigade of only listen to positive stories. I was all swept up in stupid pink tat, races, cakes and hearing that darn bell on the chemo suite thinking I'd easily be ringing it... how naive I was.
I realise I sound bitter I'm not but I do wish I'd have got my head out of the pink fluffy clouds and firmly on the ground three years ago and maybe I'd be ringing the bell next year (although I don't know that I would have as even then the concept made me squirm for those who don't get they chance) as I'd have known mammograms and sometimes professionals aren't right and have trusted my instincts fought for that PEC-T scan instead of being so focused on being a survivor and happy to receive a good mammogram!!
Every cloud though the people I've met in stage 4 are the most inspiring, strong, grounded, kind, loving and positive people who are knowledgeable and fearlessly real.
Sorry I needed a rant got great first scan results which I’m eternally grateful for but feeling a little grumpy about the pink
What amused me was reading puketober I though it was talking about ways to avoid sickness bugs as they get rife around now 🙈😂
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Great rant Lulabelle, thanks for posting your honest account of Triple Negative treatment to date. You do meet lovely, smart, resilient people here.
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