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Buckle up ladies, Puketober is upon us

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  • nopink2019
    nopink2019 Member Posts: 384
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    Local paper has ads about "Paint Town Pink", but I'm pleased to say that all events (restaurants, silent auction, exercise class) say all proceeds given to LOCAL cancer support services. Makes it more real. Not like large chains that ask customers for donations, then post how much THEY donated when they don't even match. I ask how much the store contributes and response is always "umm, what?" So I tell them if I want to make a donation I'll do it under my name, not theirs.

    But I'm still not wearing a pink t-shirt until spring!

  • tinkerbell107
    tinkerbell107 Member Posts: 289
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  • tinkerbell107
    tinkerbell107 Member Posts: 289
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  • finallyoverit
    finallyoverit Member Posts: 133
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    17 down; 14 to go. Yes, I’m counting.


  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 3,293
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    I wrote a guest post on Nancy's Point for metastatic monday.

    Dear Breast Cancer Survivor

    https://t.co/rNOGSNC8Q0?amp=1


  • tinkerbell107
    tinkerbell107 Member Posts: 289
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    Moth: Really enjoyed reading the post. For de novo folks we tend to be left out, screwed from the beginning....

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,173
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    👍👍❤️❤️

  • Kikomoon
    Kikomoon Member Posts: 358
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    moth really great article. Tinkerbell, as de novo, I agree.

  • ShetlandPony
    ShetlandPony Member Posts: 3,063
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    Moth, I said it on another thread and I want to say it here as well: That is a superb article and ought to be published widely.

  • ShetlandPony
    ShetlandPony Member Posts: 3,063
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    While I'm here, Zills kindly mentioned some comments I made two years ago on this thread, and I would like to repost for new readers. It was in response to a new member who asked why so many of us object to the Pinktober stuff:

    .... The pink celebrations and marketing are inappropriate. We are talking about a disease. Pink parties and merchandise usually raise very little money that actually goes to research or to help cancer patients deal with the disruption of their lives and the financial devastation. Often most of the money just goes back into the awareness machine or to company profits.

    The pink celebration perpetuates the trivialization and often sexualization of breast cancer. It marginalizes the people who will die from this disease (through no fault of their own), because they do not fit the narrative of the victorious survivor, the image that brings in the dollars.

    And about AWARENESS:

    What does "awareness" mean when people are not aware that 25-30% of early stagers (I-III) will have a metastatic recurrence, the incurable, lethal form of the disease? What does awareness mean when people are not aware that only around 7% of money raised goes toward research for a cure or normal lifespan? What does awareness mean when men are not aware they can get breast cancer and so will be diagnosed later and have poorer survival? What does awareness mean when women are not aware that mammograms are not a cure, and do not always "catch it early"? What does awareness mean when people think reconstruction is a great free boob job and do not understand the pain and complications reconstruction can entail, and when some surgeons still refuse to give a woman a smooth flat chest if she asks for that? What does awareness mean when our friends, coworkers and even family do not realize we are forever changed and often forever suffering side-effects of treatment even though we "look good"?

  • l8blmr
    l8blmr Member Posts: 78
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    Moth, great article and totally agree with Shetland Pony that it needs to be reprinted. I'm and early stager; I didn't know there was a division in our BC community. I'm sorry to hear that. I know I could be stage iv someday and any early stage bc patients who think there is no possibility of being stage iv someday are kidding themselves. I do know some do not want to think about it...self-fulfilling prophesy thought process. And quite honestly, it's scary.

    I don't post much, but I certainly look forward to reading posts by people who understand the ins/outs, ups/downs of bc on a personal level. I look forward to Moth and Beesie's educated responses to questions/concerns; as well as many others. I'm all over the boards gleaning information for myself or my two sisters with bc. There is so much to learn and this site has a wealth of experience & empathy. I love that!

    Back to your article - I will make a more conscious effort to advocate for those with stage iv bc.

  • star2017
    star2017 Member Posts: 370
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    Moth, that's a great article. Thank you for taking the time to write it, to put these complex feelings into words, and hopefully raise some real awareness.

  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 4,801
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    moth,

    I just about cried when I read that article. Most of you know I am quite stoic and practical when it comes to my mbc but this brought up all kinds of feelings about my own disease as well as the infuriating fact that stage IV gets short shrift when it comes to the public face of bc. Yup, the only kind of bc that kills and we get short shrift!

    I sometimes feel like being stage IV makes one a bit of an untouchable in the bc community. After all, we are everyone’s worst nightmare. Sometimes lower stages are just as unaware of the human toll bc still takes despite so much “awareness”, as those who’ve never had bc. Nope, stage IV, not pretty, not pink and fluffy.

  • divinemrsm
    divinemrsm Member Posts: 6,039
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    Great guest post, moth.
    You coined a good word describing those with mbc: unsurvivor. What I especially appreciate is your asking those with lesser stage bc to use their advocacy to shine the spotlight on women and men with metastatic breast cancer. And I like that you give them this food for thought:

    “Whatever you do, whatever you say, imagine doing and saying it in a room full of metastatic patients.
    Imagine saying it to someone who has been told that they're out of treatment options and that they're being referred to EOL care. Would you shake pink pom poms, would you joke about saving the ta-tas, would you just talk about how you need to be positive and fight, would you pass the cupcakes made to look like breasts to the young woman who is in her 20s or 30s and is dying of this disease?"

    Because really, they should be as outraged as we are about that kind of frivolity surrounding a deadly disease..



  • sf-cakes
    sf-cakes Member Posts: 531
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    moth, thank you so much for writing and sharing that post. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes to everything you said. Unsurvivors. Damn.

    And shetlandpony, your comments about "awareness", so right on. I couldn't agree more.

  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 3,293
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    thank you all for your kind comments about that article. I'm glad that so many of you thought it resonated

  • FGodmother
    FGodmother Member Posts: 32
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    Moth, I hope you don’t mind, but I reposted your article to my Facebook because I think it deserves as wide an audience as possible

  • moth
    moth Member Posts: 3,293
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    Please share it widely! Thank you 😊

  • traveltext
    traveltext Member Posts: 1,051
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    moth, that was so well written and such an appropriate message for this time of the year. I've shared the article on Twitter @malefitness

    We need YOU. We really need YOU.

    Please stop the pointless pinking, stop the 'inspiring stories of surviving' and let's do concrete work to make death from this disease rare.


  • RhosgobelRabbit
    RhosgobelRabbit Member Posts: 502
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    moth, this was really well written. I intend to reblog this to close out BCAM - Moth hits exactly where the focus should be and what early stagers should be doing - we can't do this alone.

  • nopink2019
    nopink2019 Member Posts: 384
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    All the Pink $h!+ needs to drop the term survivor and go with the term medical field uses...NED.

  • finallyoverit
    finallyoverit Member Posts: 133
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    Posted by a local health system. 😡😡😡

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  • Kikomoon
    Kikomoon Member Posts: 358
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    No, just no.....sigh.....countdown to Nov. 1

  • nopink2019
    nopink2019 Member Posts: 384
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    I'd like to send them this thread! Please send that practice an email about how offensive that is to us dealing w/BC & MBC

  • ShetlandPony
    ShetlandPony Member Posts: 3,063
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    Offensive to women, to people, in general, I would say if they would just think about it.

  • finallyoverit
    finallyoverit Member Posts: 133
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    I have to admit, I was a little shocked, surprised, and absolutely offended when I saw it.. and from a health system! So rude and insensitive.

    10 more days.. yup, I’m counting

  • finallyoverit
    finallyoverit Member Posts: 133
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    2.more.days

  • traveltext
    traveltext Member Posts: 1,051
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    Here's to the end of Pinktober.

    But wait, one more article!!


    https://advancedbreastcancer.net/living/stigma-mal...



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  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,173
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    WOOOOHOOOO

    ITS OVER!!!

  • finallyoverit
    finallyoverit Member Posts: 133
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    🙌🏻 November 1st- one of the best days of the year. All of the pink crap crawls back under a rock for another 11 months!