Mar 23, 2010 02:46PM - edited Mar 23, 2010 02:48PM by bygracealone

Hello! My name is Sandra and I will be 67 next month on southern memorial day, kind of appropriate as Florida is my birth place. I was born into a Christian family the day after Easter and baptised as an infant. I was married for 30 yrs and now single for the last 10. I am mother to three beautiful talented smart adult children and two handsome smart grandsons. I have lived in Florida, Pennsylvania, Kansas and now New Hampshire.

I was blessed with good health until Jan '09. Now I am learning to live with a stage IV metastatic breast cancer diagnosis. Currently waiting for eye lashes, eyebrows and hair to grow back after seven months of chemo.

I usually hang out in the stage IV forum with an incredible group of strong caring women.

I know God has a sense of humor. I had been over weight most of my adult life and had a prayer about ten years ago for help in losing weight .  . . anything but cancer. Could God be deaf?
I know He has a plan . . . . .wondering what it is. Wish He would leave notes on my refrigerator regarding specifics of doing His will in my life. Upon dx asked to be His miracle. We shall see!

I like quotations and poetry and have been writing since age 9.

BLESSED

How thankful I had wont to be
For all that God has shared with me.
A healthy life, a fam'ly loved
A Savior who looks down above.

Who showers love upon this child,
Who is not meek and neither mild.
For I can only say to you
That I am blessed as very few
And cannot aswer why it's so
I guess that is for God to know.

I see daily evidence of God's love in my life.

Hugs Sandra . . . . . "If God sends you down a stony path, may he give you strong shoes."

Mar 24, 2010 06:01AM badger wrote:

Good morning sisters, you are in my prayers, please keep me in yours.  Today my hair is coming out from chemo.  I didn't think I was vain but apparently I am.  Really struggling with this, even though I know it's minor in the scheme of things and will grow back, it's still making me cry.  Please help boost my GQ - grace quotient - through prayer.  Thanks!  {{hugs}}

Mar 24, 2010 08:22AM kmccraw423 wrote:

Good morning ladies.

Groundhog ... praying for you.  The other gals are right ... no one wants tro lose their hair - that's not vanity.  When you look in the mirror now for every strand of hair loss think of it as more and more cancer being destroyed. (((((((HUGS)))))))))

ByGraceAlone:  I really liked your poem and welcome!

Jackie:  You are so awesome!  You just seem to know what I need to hear.   You have such a big and loving heart.

Spar:  I will celebrate with you any time with a cup of kitties!

Jo:  You are the "voice of reason" which keeps many of us grounded; Not to mention a great crafter and a loving soul.

It is so peaceful to go to this thread and hear the testimony of your faiths.  It is strong and helps to hold me up.  I don't know what God is up to but his knowledge is so much larger than mine and I trust Him to do what's best for me even if I don't have a clue.

I try to "Let Go and Let God."  Then I try to take it back because He isn't working it out the way I would or taking too much time - Remember, I did say I need to learn, humility and patience!

In my case I think He is teaching me humility; trust, and patience.  In religious reading His people are right there witih Him when times are tough but when they  prosper and get all "puffed up - Iove that description - they enter into the "ways of the world" and forget about God.  Not everyone does this, certainly but enough people do suddenly think when we prosper and get all content that somehow we did it all on our own.  That's when He has to remind us again.  I have done that so many times - that's why God needs a 2 x 4 upside the head to get my attention.

As for my knowledge of breast cancer.  I knew almost nothing.  Here's what I knew - breast cancer is one disease and it was all the same thing; chemo was required for all women diagnosed with breast cancer;  and other people got it.

Here's what I thought would happen ... BMX with immediate tissues expanders so I would basically walk out of that hospital with something on my chest; I would get perky boobies and no one would be able to see that I had had breast cancer.

Here's what happened ... experienced a 'bleed' in the recovery room which necessitated a second trip to surgery; infected tissue expanders one month later and removal of tissue expanders, a seroma, a scarred up chest which is never going to look 'normal' again and a little humility!

Anyway, I have waxed on for too long.  Just know I love you all.

Mar 24, 2010 02:31PM spar2 wrote:

Bygracealone, love the poem and I hope you give us more to read

JO, I did subscribe just now to our daily bread for an uplifting start to the day.

Groundhog, I do so remember the day my hair started coming out in handfuls and making a mess, my husband went ahead and buzzed my head with us both crying.  then I decided to look at it as an adventure because I hoped never again to be bald, so I started wearing makeup and big earrings and using scarves in different ways, I got 2 wigs from the cancer society for free but they were itchy and hot.  My grandkids started wearing doo rags with me and when I finally had a "crew cut"  I started going bare and people would rub my head all the time which was a little irritating.  You can do this and you can still be beautiful.

My daughters MIL just had surgery for colon cancer, small and large intestine because she waited too long, now she will start chemo.  It seems there are just so many people going through so many trials.  All of you guys are in my prayers.

I will be so glad to get my next scan on my leg to see if it is healing anymore, am just so sick of it all.

Mar 24, 2010 08:03PM spar2 wrote:

Kathleen, hope you are doing good, can't help but worry a little about your foot.

Jackie, do you think you could handle us if me and dh came to see you around June?

Everyone have a wonderful evening.  love you all and hugs all around