Topic: thread for middle age to older Christian women.

Oct 6, 2020 04:52PM bandwoman1234 wrote:

Faith, so glad you test was negative. I heard Dr. Fauci saying just last night that there are a couple of vaccines that could be approved by the end of this year. They are already producing them in hopes that they will be approved. He said the first bunch would go to the health care workers but he also mentioned those most vulnerable. I would think you would fit into that category. A lot will depend on your doctor's recommendation when that time comes. Probably for the general population it could be a long time later but we really won't know like so many uncertainties. I do have good news. I sent what is hopefully the last forms to the VA, I got my Mom's VA bank account set up and I got her retroactive check and got that deposited. Now I will wait and be sure the fax was received and it will be a smooth transition from one bank to another. Last night when I thought I was all done I just felt like crying that this whole uphill battle getting her some needed financial assistance was finally over. I still had more work to do on the forms today and now I feel more relief than anything that hopefully it is finally done.

I am possibly going to go back downstate since the weather looks a little more promising. The outside visits at this nursing home are not ideal as the visitors stand at a fence to be able to talk to their loved ones in the courtyard. My Mom will be 95 on Monday and I cannot possibly see myself not going at this point.

Have a good night dear sisters.

Love,

Nancy

Oct 6, 2020 08:53PM bandwoman1234 wrote:

Chris, I can't even imagine how you feel or what you are going through. I know that it must be bad because I have "known" you for a few years as much as one can in cyberspace and you are certainly not one to whine or rant. I will be lifting you up right now as I detect fear and worry and I am sure I would be feeling the same thing. I do pray that this is a result of your chemo and flu shot combo. I am going to pray hard that Bria's school district will return to in person learning but I do know your concern over that as well with the bringing home of different germs. I am giving you a big cyber hug. I wish I could do something for you but I can pray and I will definitely do that right now.

Love

Nancy

Oct 11, 2020 12:20AM bandwoman1234 wrote:

Dear sisters. I write with a heavy heart tonight. I am down at my Mom's and got in last night. The plan was my niece was going to come from Iowa and we and my sister were planning a visit with my Mom for today until I found out before leaving that they don't do weekend visits. So my niece wasn't going to be able to see my Mom at all.

I went over to my sisters house tonight and we were out on their front porch and I didn't hear my cell phone ringing in my purse. Long story short the nursing home called my house and my cell and couldn't reach me and then called my sisters house and she said why don't you answer. I found out around 8:30 or so that my Mom had passed at 6:20. They went to give her pills and she had peacefully passed.

Her 95th birthday was Monday and it was predicted to rain so I wasn't exactly sure when we were going to see her. My niece had to go back to work. I decided to have some flowers delivered to her place today and I dropped off one of my photo cards with Cammies face on the front and said we would be visiting soon. I was not allowed to go inside the facility. I have to take some joy in the fact that she got to see those flowers and read my card. I was so afraid she would think we had abandoned her. God knows best and we have to trust that. This was similar to my Dad passing in the hospital when we were shocked when it did happen.

So I am still in shock and I imagine trying to take it all in. I know she is in heaven and at one point my sister said she has all of her fingers now which I would have never thought of. She lost two fingers in a car accident when she was 9 years old.

We have some challenges in that the church closed it's doors over a year ago so right now we have no place for visitation or a funeral. There will be no church ladies to cook a meal and we can't all meet at a restaurant because of the pandemic so some things need to come together quickly. We do have the prepaid funeral already planned so that is a blessing now.

I would appreciate your prayers for the coming days.

Love,

Nancy

Oct 11, 2020 09:20AM Faith-840 wrote:

Nancy, you and your sister and family are in my prayers. I’m so sorry for your loss, what a shock this must be for all of you. I’m so sorry you didn’t get to see her one more time but at least she saw your card and flowers and she knows she is loved. Take comfort that she is resting in the arms of Our Dear Lord in heaven along with your dad. I am praying that somehow the funeral arrangements will all come together for you and the family. May the peace of Jesus Christ be with you all.

Love,

Faith (in the future)

Oct 11, 2020 02:44PM Sunshine99 wrote:

Nancy, my heart breaks for you and your sister. May you feel the peace of God surround you.

You are loved,

Carol

Oct 11, 2020 05:44PM HersheyKiss wrote:

Dear Nancy, I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that you and your sister find peace today and in the days to come. May happy memories of your mom comfort you and your family. You are in my prayers.

Oct 11, 2020 09:30PM bandwoman1234 wrote:

Thank you all dear sisters for your kind words of comfort and your prayers. It has been an exhausting time and right now nothing is falling into place. We still have no church for the visitation and funeral. We are dealing with a funeral home which only goes into other buildings to oversee the visitation and funeral. We seem to be striking out on several fronts. The church which looked good on paper and many of my Mom's friends from her church that closed go to this church. However I just got word late that the pastor is leaving on vacation tomorrow. I left him a message on his cell and on his website and it is after 9PM and haven't heard anything from him. Actually just heard from this pastor and it is a NO. I completely understand with Covid and people coming into his church when he is not going to be there. So he suggested another church which we actually attended growing up. So we'll see. He did seem to think this was the responsibility of the funeral home to help us in this and when we meet with them tomorrow we will certainly bring this up. If we hadn't already prepaid for all of these services I could see just having a graveside service only but the cemetery would very hard to find as it is in the country and it is very small. So to say this has been difficult on top of the usual stresses of these things would be an understatement.

I would covet your prayers for some miracles to happen here.

Love,

Nancy

Oct 13, 2020 06:43PM bandwoman1234 wrote:

Thank you Carol. It became clear to me after talking with a Pastor that said a big NO regarding renting out his church for the visitation and funeral that we needed to go to Plan B. Covid 19 was a big reason that it just made sense to not even have a church funeral. We met with the funeral director yesterday and he said they could do a viewing in his very tiny area which is not usually used for this purpose. So that is what we are going to do. The viewing will take place an hour before the funeral procession to the cemetery which is pretty far out of town in the country. There will be a graveside service which we had hoped our missionary cousin would officiate but he was in TX for the week so my sister's new church pastor will be officiating. We both felt a tremendous burden lifted after making that decision. With a BIG help from my niece who has professionally edited and is a graphic design artist we were able to get the obituary done and the picture collage for the guests made and sent off to the funeral home for them to do the brochure as a tribute to my Mom. I feel like we did the absolute best we could and will have to leave it at Jesus feet.

I know you understand the grief and loss as many of you have already experienced losing your mothers. I knew it was coming but you still are in shock when it happens. The Lord is giving me supernatural strength and I can feel the support from everyone praying. Thank you for that.

Love,

Nancy

Oct 15, 2020 09:53PM bandwoman1234 wrote:

Hi dear sisters.

This is the day after the funeral and I am alone today with starting on the legal affairs for my Mom and alone with my thoughts. I was supposed to go to my sisters but got too busy on the phone dealing with the affairs. Being put on hold for all the myriad calls that need to be made will be a super test of my patience for sure knowing that because of Covid they are longer wait times than usual.

Cindy, it is great to hear from you. I can't imagine working in the Covid unit but God has certainly placed you in a very important role in communicating with families who are under such tremendous stress having loved ones sick and not knowing if they will ever see their loved ones again. I never thought I would be one of those people losing a parent and not being able to see them. My Mom didn't have the virus but because of pandemic protocol we therefore were not able to see her while in quarantine. If it wasn't for the Lord I could see how people could lose their mind with worry. I am sure you are a very steady and calming voice of compassion for these families and that I am sure is a blessing. Check your PM's.

This song always slays me and I just had to listen to this tonight knowing that my Mom is beholding Jesus now. It is a strange bitter/sweet time of knowing she is now reunited with my Dad and all our family that has gone before her to heaven but feeling the enormous loss. I think the distractions of the list of things to do before and after the funeral are in some ways small blessings from the heavy load of loss and sadness.

If you have a few minutes this will bless you as no one can sing this like Sandi Patty can. Some of you that are not familiar with the Gaither's will wonder why it keeps showing Dottie Rambo. She wrote this song We Shall Behold Him and she had her own family trio called the Rambos with her husband Buck and daughter Reba.

Have a good night and weekend dear sisters.

Love,

Nancy

Oct 15, 2020 10:38PM bandwoman1234 wrote:

Thank you Chris. I understand what you mean. I think we probably all have family and friends who need the Lord and have either fallen away or have just turned their back on Him. Thank you for your prayers. I hope you are feeling some better with your chemo and with Bria's remote learning. I talked with some family about that yesterday who have children who are teaching remotely and how crazy it is. Returning to normalcy is what we all want and I don't know if we will ever have a normal again. It may be a new normal. Take care. Praying you are doing better.

Love,

Nancy

Oct 18, 2020 05:33PM bandwoman1234 wrote:

Hi dear sisters. My photo below won the newspaper contest and appeared in the paper today. I can see it online but thought I would share that with you again. The Lord has used my photos before to give me some joy amidst sadness. This sunset seems fitting to win four days after my Mom's funeral. I have had the old song I'll Fly Away on my heart this week when searching for music when I thought we would have a church service for the funeral. So with the hot air balloon flying away seems even more appropriate.

Ade, it sounds like you both have been in deep waters for sure. I am assuming that you think you both had the virus. If so I am surely glad it was only a mild case. I am sorry to hear of your friends loss and the other's issue with kidneys after stents put in, I thought for sure the rest of your sentence about Maggie was going to not be good but totally relieved that she seems to be okay.

I was doing really well until yesterday and then had a meltdown. I am overwhelmed by the legal things that might need to be done. I don't think I will totally absorb everything until I get back home after the majority of legal things are finished or at least started. I was able to make a big dent on Friday with legal things and my niece was a big help making calls as well.

God gave me a super gift with a friend who was on BCO when I first joined. We have become good email friends and she is a retired attorney and has helped me with legal documents in the past. She offered to help me now with part of my Mom's estate and that has helped. I really need to get home as I have meds running out and I am definitely feeling time pressure to wrap things up as much as I can so my sister won't be strapped with this stuff. My niece coming from Iowa was a super help to my sister and to me. She stayed the whole week and worked remotely for her job.

My new pastor as busy as he is and as big a flock as he oversees sent me an email wanting my phone number so he could pray with me. I just missed his call a little while ago as my phone said restricted when the call came through. When I realized it was him there was no number to call back.....hence restricted.

I feel like I have been in a time warp this week. I hope you all are doing okay. I know there are so many challenges that all of you face. I am very grateful for this little online community. It has given me so much support and encouragement and love through good and sad times.

Have a good week dear sisters.

Love,

Nancy

Oct 18, 2020 07:02PM IntoLight wrote:

Nancy, amazing photo and blessing from God. A meltdown is totally acceptable with all the burdens you are carrying. I pray God sustains you in your grief and continues to send help during all the paperwork and times of stress.

Ade, I am praying that this sickness proves short and mild and that God will send you extra rest and peace. You and James do not need this now with everything else. Hopefully you and your family will overcome all of this and find respite quickly. Claiming the blood of Christ for you.

Oct 19, 2020 11:16AM zjrosenthal wrote:

Nancy please accept my belated but sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. Love, Jean

Oct 21, 2020 09:47AM bandwoman1234 wrote:

Good morning dear sisters. This is the day to hopefully wrap up some of the big things dealing with my Mom's estate. After today my sister and I will own my Mom's home providing things go smoothly. Much to do and hopefully I can get home soon.

Walk by faith not by sight. It sounds so easy doesn't it? As we give up more and more control of our lives to the Lord I believe this concept and truth gets easier but we all know that is something we need to work on daily. For me hourly.

Have a great day dear sisters.

Love,

Nancy

Oct 21, 2020 11:12PM bandwoman1234 wrote:

Thank you Faith. The day was pretty crazy and at times chaotic darting all over town filing things and finally collapsing at home. I guess I can call it home now. My new old home and my sisters. It is very surreal at this point. My Dad and Mom had this house built in 1950 so my whole life has revolved around this house in some fashion and certainly a lot in the last 10 years with my Mom's dementia. The thing that gives me peace is her mind is not confused and anxious anymore. She is at peace and living with joy. That helps me to deal with the loss.

How are you doing? Did you consent to see another therapist? Are the meds helping you at all. I sure hope something or some combination of treatments will hit a sweet spot for you and really help you to feel better.

I am going back home tomorrow. I really needed another day here to clean but I have supplements and meds running out as I stayed a week more than I had planned before knowing my Mom was going to pass away.

Have a good night.

Love,

Nancy