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All TopicsForum: "Middle Age" 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer → Topic: MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Topic: MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

Forum: "Middle Age" 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer —

Meet others in this age-range who share similar life issues.

Posted on: Aug 21, 2009 11:25PM - edited Sep 23, 2017 03:00PM by elimar

elimar wrote:

This thread was created for "middle-aged" women. At the time, we didn't have our own category on the pull-down Forum menu. The ages 40-60 in the header are unofficial--we don't "card" anyone, (wink, wink) --- so if you are close in age it's meant for you as well. We aren't young with small children. Many of us have just gotten to the stage where we were all set to enjoy the freedom of our kids being grown when, Bam!, we got breast cancer instead. We aren't retired yet, so we get to juggle cancer and a job. We might have to care for an elderly parent on days when we feel like we could use a caregiver ourselves!

(BTW, those are general statements, NOT a checklist for belonging to this group. It's fine if you have some variation!!!)

Our disease unites us with ALL the strong sisters on this site, but here we can bring up some topics to share with others in the "middle," only please make it anything but the mundane topic of weather. Seriously!

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WELCOME NEWBIES! See: ABBREVIATION GUIDE FOR NEWBIES.

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 1, 2017 05:35PM ndgrrl wrote:

I remember when I was DX- I had previously lost my older sister , my grandfather my mother and a baby niece to cancer. I felt I was given the death sentence. I was number 3 in my family being diagnosed with BC that same year and the day I was done with radiation was the day another sister was dx with cancer this one BC like me. I remember the day I was DX. I was sitting in the office of the NP thinking what do I do now? where do I go? I felt like I was standing at the end of a driveway being shoved out into a busy street and I was not sure I would be run over or be able to keep up with the traffic and get where I needed to go. I still struggle at times. but I am here. I listened to that voice in my head to get my first ever mammo and it saved it.

BC plays havoc on the physical as well as mental was was stated by someone else on this site, My MO says stress contributes to cancer, she may be correct as 4 yrs prior to getting BC I lost both my parents within 13 days- all rather sudden. I found my father, passed away, in the public BR of the hosp where mom was admitted for lung cancer treatment. I watched them try to revive him but it was too late. I also watched my mom pass 13 days later. My sister(age 60) and I(age 44) were DX 3 months apart- My niece(age 33) before me by 2 months and a cousin (age 45)(who also lost her mom in 2009) was DXed 4 months before my niece.

I feel this cancer is like a monster waiting to attack and its hard, so hard.......

Keep laughing though you feel like crying-- sometimes that just helps :) Diagnosed at age 44- first ever mammo. Oncho score of 18. Dx 7/19/2013, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/18/2013 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 9/8/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 9/26/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Femara (letrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 11/18/2014 Reconstruction (right) Surgery 3/2/2015 Prophylactic ovary removal
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Jun 1, 2017 06:13PM - edited Jun 2, 2017 07:29AM by elimar

ndgrrl, That must have been a real nightmare to go through. IMO, it is entirely possibly that your stressed body decided right then to start whipping up some BC.

I got my BC Dx about 6 years after one parent died. I had a 7mm ER+/PR+ tumor and doctor told me it could have been there for 6-8 years. My CRC Dx was 10 years after the death, but it is common for colorectal cancer to take 8-10 years to develop.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know a lot of women here get BC and still have living parents. There is nothing scientific in what I am saying, but just in talking about stress doing things to our bodies I know I felt tremendous stress and physical shock when I had a parent pass. So, I've got to wonder.
Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 1, 2017 06:27PM runor wrote:

Just heard on the news that somewhere in the Province some chemo drug had accidentally made its way to the local dump and they CLOSED THE DUMP until they could assess the risk to the public. This is the stuff that they pump into our veins, but when it gets thrown out suddenly it's a hazard? I very clearly understand the medical threat that chemo drugs can be. Yet we shove it in our bodies. Eeek, don't get any on you, but let's inject it in you because yeah, that makes sense.

100 years from now they'll look back on this and shake their heads at the barbaric things we did to cancer patients. I hope.

Dx 3/23/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/12/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 7/5/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 1, 2017 07:37PM elimar wrote:

I have used the word barbaric a few times myself, and more than once when talking to my doctors.
Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 2, 2017 04:18AM Dianarose wrote:

Lita-our bodies created this dam cancer and now being that it has mutated the cancer is very smart. So, it had to get its intelligence from us. We must be just to dam smart. That's our ppoblem lol.

6/10/13 mets to ovary now. Now mets. To peritoneal stage IV Dx 3/22/2012, ILC, Both breasts, 1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, Grade 2, 17/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 5/31/2012 CMF Radiation Therapy 12/3/2012 3DCRT: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 8/10/2013 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Jun 2, 2017 05:54AM Momine wrote:

Diana, I can definitely get behind your theory :D

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/19/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/12/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 1/8/2012 Surgery 3/7/2012 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2012 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 2, 2017 06:01AM NativeMainer wrote:

Runor--I remember that feeling. Can't start anything, what if I can't finish it? Can't plan anything beyond the next doctor or treatment appointment, I might not be here. I'm not enjoying this (fill in the blank, movie, party, outing, whatever) because I'm worried this will be the list time I get to do this and I should be enjoying it. In the beginning it's a minute to minute existence. Have to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, can't think about the step after that or this one won't get taken. It will get better. I can tell you from experience, it will get better.

"I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival." Audre Lorde Dx 3/9/2007, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/15/2007 Lumpectomy: Right Surgery 3/29/2007 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 4/10/2007 Breast Hormonal Therapy 10/5/2007 Hormonal Therapy 4/25/2008 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 8/15/2008 Mastectomy: Left Surgery 6/21/2010 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap
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Jun 5, 2017 12:00PM MameMe wrote:

I sometimes think of cancer as a political take over. The initial tumor is the first boat landing on the shore, getting comfortable with the natives and learning the food and shelter routines. Then there is this silent, steady growth of the newcomers. They say they just want to get along, but they are really here to strip us of our resources. etc, etc. I think it works. My life is pretty much geared around managing cancer now, and my view of my future is all screwed up. I know thatI deeply desire a complete cure. I am willing to extend mylife thru treatments, in case a break through should emerge. But I also know that its not llikely I will get my healthy precancer body back. Cancer is relentless, patient, adaptable, greedy and totally amoral. It plays dirty

Widespread, low volume mets to eye, lungs, chest wall and bones, dx 4/14/14. "There's gotta be a pony in this s--t somewhere..." Dx 2/2003, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 12/2012, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Dx 4/4/2014, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs/other, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR- Chemotherapy 4/30/2017 Doxil (doxorubicin) Targeted Therapy Afinitor (everolimus) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane) Chemotherapy Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jun 5, 2017 03:51PM Lita57 wrote:

I learned something new this past week....in order to qualify for most cancer trials, we cancer patients have to be "healthy sick."

Is that an oxymoron or what? We have to be healthy enough so we don't die during the first few months on the trial so they can get their data recorded. Phase 1 trials (correct me if I'm wrong) are among the worst because they haven't really fine-tuned the dosages yet so we get stuck with ALL the delightful SE's, some of which can be quite debilitating, leading to opportunistic infections, etc., that could kill us long before the dang cancer does!

I'm not sure that I will ever participate in any trials because of the big hit on QOL. Just dealing with the day-to-day SE's of Xeloda and all the fatigue is enough for me, thank you very much.

I've made my peace with death, or "my transition" as I prefer to call it. I purchased my urn, selected my niche at the mausoleum, and have started getting my paperwork in order (reviewing the trust, updating the asset list, telling DD and DH what music I want at the service, etc.). Basically I did all that to get it out of the way and save my family from doing it because I'm picky.

The only BIG thing I still have to do is file my POLST (physicians' orders for life sustaining treatments) with the Dr. I already have it stipulated in my will that I don't want to be kept on a ventilator or feeding tube, so it's not totally pressing that I do this just yet. I think I'm hesitating a bit because it feels so FINAL, and I still feel "healthy sick" right now in that I'm still able to drive and get around with a rolling walker and a cane. No, I'm not as mobile as I was a couple of years ago, but I've accepted my slow decline because I can't really change it.

Even tho I'm on "death row" with Stage 4 and extensive mets, I don't feel like I have one foot in the grave yet. I'm not delusional in that I know that that time will come...sooner than later, unfortunately. For now, I try to live in the moment as much as possible with joy and gratitude, enjoying my family and my rescue dog.

Hugs, everyone.


Stage IV Occult, Amorphic right from the gate. New Brain Mets Aug 2017. I've been dragged into an arranged marriage that I didn't agree to, & divorce is totally off the table now that I'm married to Mr. Cancer. STAGE IV LIVES MATTER! Dx 4/14/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 4/27/2016 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 5/15/2016 Chemotherapy 5/22/2016 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 4/20/2017 External: Bone Dx 8/23/2017, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 9/6/2017 External: Brain Chemotherapy 10/10/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jun 5, 2017 04:20PM Dianarose wrote:

Lita- I have been doing the same things as you. It's hard to do. Hubby and I will both be buried in the VA cemetery so we had paperwork to do. I don't want a funeral in a funeral home . Just a celebration of life st the church we were married in. Want to be buried in my favorite jeans and a beautiful Jacket my husband bought me when we were in Golden Colorado. Took care of the Will. Put the youngest son into n the deed to the house as out of nine kids he is the one who will miss out the most and needs a start as he just turned 18. Leaving him is the hardest part for me. Did the living will a couple of years ago. Did I forget anything? I just want to be done with this crap and forget about it.

Picked up the movie the shack today. Has anyone seen it? I read the book years ago and was good


6/10/13 mets to ovary now. Now mets. To peritoneal stage IV Dx 3/22/2012, ILC, Both breasts, 1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, Grade 2, 17/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 5/31/2012 CMF Radiation Therapy 12/3/2012 3DCRT: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 8/10/2013 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Jun 19, 2017 11:11AM Eph3_12 wrote:

Bit quiet here. Hoping everyone is just getting things in order and getting ready to welcome summer (my thought on that is that it is one day closer to fall!!!! YEAH)

God Bless Your Day-Joni2 Dx 4/2/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 19, 2017 11:43AM Dianarose wrote:

Hi everyone, hope things are going well. Ibrance has been doing fine for me so far. Tumor marker was down to 103 a month ago and will check again tomorrow. Get those dreaded butt shots tomorrow too. I don't have much energy but that's one of the side effects. I was alive to see the youngest son graduate from high school last week . Thank you Lord!!! We had a big party for him on Saturday so still exhausted from that. Put 28 pounds back on and my hair is coming back so can't really complain. Hugs to all

6/10/13 mets to ovary now. Now mets. To peritoneal stage IV Dx 3/22/2012, ILC, Both breasts, 1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, Grade 2, 17/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 5/31/2012 CMF Radiation Therapy 12/3/2012 3DCRT: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 8/10/2013 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Jun 19, 2017 11:45AM Momine wrote:

Diana, so happy to hear that.

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/19/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/12/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 1/8/2012 Surgery 3/7/2012 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2012 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 19, 2017 11:46AM Momine wrote:

I have just been busy trying to put my life back together from scratch. I get particularly pissy about those "stress causes cancer" posts that pop up with regularity, because if that were true, I should be a goner by now :D Anyway, things are moving forward, slowly and in spurts, but forward all the same.

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/19/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/12/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 1/8/2012 Surgery 3/7/2012 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2012 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 19, 2017 02:55PM Midwest_Laura wrote:

Joni: thanks for bumping this and getting us to check in.

Momine: I I get frustrated as well with the stress = cancer equation.  It seems like an attempt from the medical community to dodge the fact that they don't know exactly what causes cancer in one person, but not another.  When in doubt, blame the patient.  :(

DianaRose: I'm on the "off" week of my first round of Ibrance.  So far so good.  I'm waiting for the other SE shoe to drop.  Or maybe I'm one of the lucky ones and this will be an easy run for me.  (Of course, if I was lucky, I wouldn't have BC in the first place.)

Well wishes to everyone.  Let's try to enjoy the summer.  It's raining here today, but at least I don't have to go out and water the flowers.  Thank you, Mother Nature. 


Dx 11/25/2016, IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 12/22/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Hormonal Therapy 5/3/2017 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 5/28/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery 7/14/2017 Prophylactic ovary removal
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Jun 19, 2017 03:25PM Eph3_12 wrote:

Good news DR...glad to hear about the weight gain and the hair. I sure wish science would come up with cure for cancer and a way to transplant fat into those who need it because trust me, I would make a great donor!!!!!

God Bless Your Day-Joni2 Dx 4/2/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 19, 2017 03:33PM elimar wrote:

Momine, if you put it that way, I have to mount a defense of sorts because of my belief that stress IS a component or one risk factor, out of the many possible risk factors out there, contributing to the development of cancer.

In the past, I created my "Balance Sheet" theory, where our bodies can have any number of things in the minus column (favoring cancer development) or the plus column (hindering cancer development.) I would put stress in the minus column, for you, me, anybody---but here's the thing: I don't attach any absolute value to stress or any of the other risk elevating or risk reducing factors, and they would have different values for every individual person.

I cited major stress at the loss of a family member, occurring some years back when it is possible that my slow-growing cancer was "conceived." Maybe I did not have enough things in my plus column to balance that with, I don't know. It's only a theory.

If someone else (let's say you) loses a family member, you may actually have greater stress than I had; but you also may have a greater number of things (from your healthy lifestyle) in your plus column to balance it out with, and that may help avert cancer development. What I am suggesting is not scientific. We cannot really know.

Realistically, everyone goes thru' stress, so obviously it does not have the same net result for everyone.

Consider this as well: We know of the cigarette causation to lung cancer. My mom smoked heavily and got lung cancer. However, she had smoked for 60 years (so let's say that is about 55 years of smoking and remaining cancer-free.) WTH? Why do some get LC after only 20-30 years, but she puffed away merrily for twice that? There just had to be some kind of mitigating factor (in her plus column, by my quaint theory) that held the cancer at bay all that while.

We don't know nearly enough about genetics yet. These may play a really big part in our "Balance Sheets."

You don't have to change your mind or stance on stress, but this is the idea I have about it.


Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 19, 2017 03:42PM elimar wrote:

Dianarose,

Elated to hear your news about the return of the hair and the poundage. It is wonderful reading about your good response on Ibrance (and you already know I am hoping the same for BFF who's on that now too.) DO let us all know your new TM number. (Hoping for the double digits!)

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 19, 2017 04:59PM Lita57 wrote:

Elimar, CURE magazine had an article some months ago where these 2 docs confirmed that they really DON'T KNOW WHAT causes cancer. They site all the smokers who DON'T get cancer as well as people who never smoked and still got lung cancer.

I see this in my own family. My dad smoked for 30 years and drank well into his 70s. He never got cancer. My mom didn't smoke or drink, ate healthy and STILL got soft tissue sarcoma and died in her 40s. They had a stressful marriage...well certainly stressful for my mom, and I do believe that stress partly contributed to her cancer.

As for myself, I definitely think stress contributed to my dx, too. Sadly, I was dx'd with "occult amorphic" (hidden, without shape) C even after getting my mammograms religiously. Only after it spread to my bones, organs and other tissues was I finally dx'd. My RO thinks it was already there for at least a couple years b4 dx. 2014 and 2015 (2 Yrs b4 dx) were incredibly stressful for me at work, so I wouldn't be surprised if that's what sparked it.

The magazine article also said aging is a factor. The older you are, the more cell turnover you've had. Every time your cells replace themselves, there's a chance for malignant genetic mutations in the DNA, and all it takes is ONE. Your immune system isn't what it once was either. Years prior, your system might have found that mutated cell and destroyed it, but as you age, that's no longer the case. Cancer is sneaky, too. It adopts a kind of "cloaking device" so the body's gatekeepers can no longer detect it.

Who knows where we'll be 100 years from now? BC could be viral like HPV which can lead to cervical cancer, but we just haven't isolated it yet. Look at all this stuff that's out here now that no one heard of 50 years ago...HIV, Ebola, etc.

I'm done.


Stage IV Occult, Amorphic right from the gate. New Brain Mets Aug 2017. I've been dragged into an arranged marriage that I didn't agree to, & divorce is totally off the table now that I'm married to Mr. Cancer. STAGE IV LIVES MATTER! Dx 4/14/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 4/27/2016 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 5/15/2016 Chemotherapy 5/22/2016 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 4/20/2017 External: Bone Dx 8/23/2017, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 9/6/2017 External: Brain Chemotherapy 10/10/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jun 19, 2017 05:32PM Dianarose wrote:

I am learning how to vent and speak my mind instead of holding it all in. Must say it really doesn't accomplish much but it feels good. I have two self centered step sons who really get to me. I am not nice and quiet anymore. Not sure if it's age or lack of hormones but either way works for me. They treat DH with so much disrespect and he wouldn't say shit to them if he had a mouth full. Two years in a row they couldn't even get him a Father's Day card or come see him. They are 20 minutes away. He has given both of them jobs in the company and they take advantage of that too. If we are in this marriage together then we need to be together on this stuff. I have talked till I am blue in the face. One lies and takes time off and doesn't tell us. Not sure what to think or do anymore. He is basically stealing from us. Any advice with step kids

6/10/13 mets to ovary now. Now mets. To peritoneal stage IV Dx 3/22/2012, ILC, Both breasts, 1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, Grade 2, 17/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 5/31/2012 CMF Radiation Therapy 12/3/2012 3DCRT: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 8/10/2013 Aromasin (exemestane)
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Jun 19, 2017 07:24PM Tpralph wrote:

Dianarose. Sounds like the kids are grown so unfortunately their personality is set. I would suggest that your husband treats him like any other employee and discipline him if he isn't doing his job properly or is off work for unintended purposes. He may end up having to fire him. You both don't need the stress.

Yes you both need to be together on this. May I suggest you try to talk to your husband without judging his children and just tell him matter-of-fact what you see? You can say " it really hurts me to see your son's doing (factual data here). I can see it also hurts you. Why don't we come up with a plan to help rectify or alleviate some of the stress?

My husband was the step dad and we had many discussions regarding my children and how we could handle whatever. It helped. You have to be delicate though in what you say.

Just my thought spur of the moment :)

Dx 3/10/2017, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/21 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Dx 4/10/2017, IDC, Right, <1cm, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 5/18/2017 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Chemotherapy 6/28/2017 AC + T (Taxol)
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Jun 19, 2017 11:38PM - edited Jun 19, 2017 11:55PM by Momine

About that stress. First of all the research is iffy.

I saw a good Ted Talk way back when about causes of disease. The speaker was a medical researcher, forget his name. He was saying, and I am paraphrasing wildly here (long time ago), that the kind of stress that contributes to disease is not necessarily those big, stressful events we all think of as "stress." Rather, the kind of stress that is detrimental is more likely to be regular, but minor, raising of stress hormones because you fail to eat on time, sleep properly etc. It makes intuitive sense to me. Of course, for some people, a major trauma could bring on the kind of steady stress he is talking about.

However, you are now making me remember another study from maybe 30 years ago, that looked at longevity from a psychological viewpoint. After talking to loads of people in their 80s and 90s and comparing their answers to a control group from the general population, the researchers concluded that having a mindset that allows you to move past traumatic events in a serene and timely manner seems correlated to a very long life.

All in all, I don't think we have the science to back this one, as of yet anyway. In my own case, I suspect the cancer started after the birth of my daughter, due to the hormonal changes. My hormones were always off somehow, and after the birth, I never felt quite right and I had problems with the boob that ended up with cancer. Of course, becoming a mother also involved major psychological trauma, so who is to say?

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/19/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/12/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 1/8/2012 Surgery 3/7/2012 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2012 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 20, 2017 12:08AM - edited Jun 20, 2017 12:09AM by Lita57

What about boob trauma at an early age? I ask this because I remember getting hit in my left boob (the cancerous one) a number of times (fighting with brothers, getting hit in PE, banging into things). I also had infected milk ducts in that breast a couple of times too. It was always the left boob, never the right one. All those possible cellular changes...who knows?


Stage IV Occult, Amorphic right from the gate. New Brain Mets Aug 2017. I've been dragged into an arranged marriage that I didn't agree to, & divorce is totally off the table now that I'm married to Mr. Cancer. STAGE IV LIVES MATTER! Dx 4/14/2016, IDC, Left, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 4/27/2016 External: Bone Targeted Therapy 5/15/2016 Chemotherapy 5/22/2016 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 4/20/2017 External: Bone Dx 8/23/2017, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 9/6/2017 External: Brain Chemotherapy 10/10/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Jun 20, 2017 12:30AM - edited Jun 20, 2017 12:38AM by ndgrrl

4 in my family were dxed with breast cancer in 2013. I was number 3 and it was found on my first ever mammo at age 44. My sister age 60 was dxed the day I was done with radiation. My niece (brothers daughtwr)age 33 was dxed 2 months before me and my first cousin age 45 were dxed 5 months before her. 3 of us were tested and were BRACA negative. I am heavy, my sister is tiny, my niece is medium and my cousin is a large gal. My sister and I had our kids young. My cousin had hers in her 40's my niece has none. My sister used bc, the rest of us never did. My Cousin did use fertility meds, the rest of us hadn't.These are all theories of why some get cancer and some don't yet we were all diff and still got it the same yr. The drs at the cancer center discussed us. The only thing that linked us , besides blood,was stress. My sister and I lost both our parents suddenly 13 days apart 4 yrs prior to our cancer dx. My cousin lost her mom that same yr also suddenly.

I saw my MO in May and she told me she feels that reducing stress qould benefit me as much as the anti-hormonal meds. She told me to learn to meditate and listen to music and to eat healthy. I am not sure where she read about reducing stress to keep cancer at bay, unless it is a a study? I am used to MO's pushing drugs, but she doesn't. I just need to learn to meditate. So not sure what to think

Keep laughing though you feel like crying-- sometimes that just helps :) Diagnosed at age 44- first ever mammo. Oncho score of 18. Dx 7/19/2013, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/9 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/18/2013 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 9/8/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 9/26/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Femara (letrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 11/18/2014 Reconstruction (right) Surgery 3/2/2015 Prophylactic ovary removal
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Jun 20, 2017 02:37AM Momine wrote:

NDgrrl, that is kinda freaky with all of you getting DXed in the same year. I have not been tested for BRCA, but it is unlikely that I have it. My mom and aunt are negative. I could have it from dad's side, but although they all get cancer, and for generations, breast cancer is not common. However, the situation in my father's family leads me to think that there are cancer genes we simply haven't identified yet. I saw a genetic counselor, and after taking the endless info about dad's family, he concluded, that, although overwhelming, the history didn't line up with any known cancer-triggering genes.

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/19/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/12/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 1/8/2012 Surgery 3/7/2012 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2012 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 20, 2017 08:16AM elimar wrote:

Momine, Thanks for posting the study. I took a look and I would have fallen into the cohort group that confirms their conclusion---but only because my BC was DXed SIX years after loss of parent stress occurred. Also, it is too bad they used 5 years as the cut off for the study because we do know that ER+/PR+ can take longer than that to develop.

All stress theories aside, I was glad to hear that your life is coming back together, maybe moving slowly like you say, but forward direction is good. (Sorry if I "buried the lead" with all the stress commentary before.)
Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jun 20, 2017 09:05AM NativeMainer wrote:

Diana--Congrats on youngest son's graduation! So glad the ibrance is working so well for you.

Momine--keep focused on the progress, cuz it's important to recognize progress, no matter how slow or how tiny it is at first. It builds up momentum over time.

Eph--I would gladly donate to the fat transplant program, too!

"I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival." Audre Lorde Dx 3/9/2007, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/15/2007 Lumpectomy: Right Surgery 3/29/2007 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 4/10/2007 Breast Hormonal Therapy 10/5/2007 Hormonal Therapy 4/25/2008 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 8/15/2008 Mastectomy: Left Surgery 6/21/2010 Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap
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Jun 20, 2017 10:01AM Momine wrote:

Elimar, no worries. I am just not convinced about the stress thing, but hopefully we will have better info one day, on this issue and others related to this stupid disease.

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/19/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/12/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 1/8/2012 Surgery 3/7/2012 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2012 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 20, 2017 10:13AM Momine wrote:

NativeMainer, how right you are. I have to remind myself of that, because I am both impatient and a perfectionist, and have to check those impulses.

Dx 6/1/2011, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 7/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/19/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/12/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 1/8/2012 Surgery 3/7/2012 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2012 Femara (letrozole)
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Jun 20, 2017 10:58AM elimar wrote:

I've always made an effort to keep the top header of this thread looking nice and welcoming, but lately I have not been able to size pictures or graphics properly and I am not happy with how things look up there but it is not for lack of trying on my part. Just had to mention in case anyone thought I was just getting sloppy about things here.

Anyone else having trouble sizing images in their posts?

Dx 6/24/2009, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

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