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Topic: You know you're a cancer patient when....

Forum: Humor and Games — Breast cancer is no laughing matter, but sometimes a good joke or a game is the best medicine.

Posted on: Jul 25, 2010 01:49AM - edited Apr 26, 2014 02:00PM by AnacortesGirl

AnacortesGirl wrote:

OK ladies.  I know this may go over like a lead balloon but I have a weird sense of humor.  And in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy and his redneck jokes I thought we might have enough material to do some cancer jokes. 

You know you are a cancer patient when ...

You read a book and you laugh when the subject has been diagnosed with cancer and their first question to the oncologist is "Will I lose my hair?".

Your onc says that you need a transfusion and you ask "Can I get that from a  nineteen year old?" 

When your onc asks you the folllowing "Are you fatigued? Apetite OK? Any neuropathy? Bowels OK?" and you respond with "Can't you come up with any new questions?" and the onc responds with "I get paid to ask these questions!"

For more short, fun and uplifting posts, click the following link for some cute pics:

Warm & Fuzzy owls, goats, kitties, dogs, birds, ETC. Pics & Links

Christy - BRCA2+; mets to bones and liver, Taxol/Sutent -> AC, BMX - no recon, Rads, Carboplatin, BSO, Veliparib trial (8/30/13-3/13/14) Dx 7/21/2009, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 14/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/1/2010 Aromasin (exemestane) Hormonal Therapy 2/1/2011 Dx 9/9/2012, ILC, Stage IV, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/9/2012 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy 3/29/2013 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 8/16/2013 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Chemotherapy 3/20/2014 Carboplatin (Paraplatin)
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Jul 29, 2010 06:46AM - edited Jul 29, 2010 06:49AM by still-kickin

 To krcll: You are normal, don't be ashamed. I didn't have my breast removed cos by the time they had found the cancer, it had spread but the tests had not come back from the pet scan by the time I saw my surgeon and she went ahead and explained the mastectomy and reconstrucion while I was there for my pre-op exam for my port. I was looking forward after the shock had wore off to my boobs being rebuilt (sounds like a carborater) and back on my chest where they belong. Well shortly after I went back to see my onc and she informed me that I was not having a mastectomy because of mets. I got mad and went to crying. She asked what are you crying about the mets? I whimpered a bit and  replied No, I was looking forward to my boob job! She laughed at me and said well I guess thats one way to look at it.and gave me a hug. I know its hard right now and its hard to believe but things will get better. You are not a freak non of us are we are Special. We are miracles. So we're not Pamela Anderson. Just think when it gets reconstruction time you can be the same size as her if you want and they will be just as real as hers they came from the same place. Keep your chin up

We might not have it all together, but, together we have it all Dx 4/8/2008, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jul 29, 2010 10:19AM Bugs wrote:

When it's perfectly normal to offer "show and tell" of your reconstruction to a fellow sistah.

Dx 2/1/2006, IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 3/16 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 29, 2010 07:20PM jenn3 wrote:

When people say and  "howwwwww are youuuu really" (dragging it out with that low voice).

Well meaning friends and family buy you pink everything......

Jenn - June 2009 IDC-TN, Stage III, 02/2011 Stage IV mets to the lungs & spine / Laugh until your belly hurts, then laugh some more...........
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Jul 29, 2010 07:20PM spendygirl wrote:

Oh my goodness - hysterical.....unbuttoning your shirt at the dentist.  Priceless.

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Jul 29, 2010 07:25PM amlg1 wrote:

Putting 2 faced tape on your head,to keep your scarf from slipping off.

Anna.7/22/11 mets to spinal fluid.7/1/2011 now met to brain:( Stage IV Dx 4/22/2009, ILC, 2cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 31/34 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jul 29, 2010 08:53PM KittyDog wrote:

when  you have sunburn spots on your scalp because the sunscreen didn't work great.  lol  Want use that brand again. 

4 rounds of AC, 3 rounds of Taxol, UMX 3-29-10, 34 rounds of radiation.finished 7-2-10, ooph & hysterectomy 10-25-10, tamoxifen, femara now on to arimidex, Lymphedema arm, trunk, legs and now my neck...grrr Dx 11/24/2009, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 1/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 29, 2010 10:32PM mtndawn wrote:

  

when you find yourself reassuring people you barely know that you really *will* be okay.

when you cry every time one of those same people does something so kind for you.

Dawn TCH x 6 - done!, H one year - done!, first tx 4/19/2010, bmx w/ immed. TEs 9/16/2010 - done, PCR! 28 Rads 11/2/2010 - 12/15/2010 - done! exch 1/11/2011 - done! Dx 4/15/2010, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIIA, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jul 30, 2010 07:02AM AussieSheila wrote:

When you act like a 90 yr old virgin at the checkout, keeping your right hand over the rhs neckline of your blouse/dress..............because none of the double-sided tapes really work, while you bend over to unload your groceries from the cart to the conveyor belt. 

 Sheila.

Maybe it is life itself that teaches wisdom to its youth. k d lang ILC dxed in RB '95, mod rad mx 2 pos nodes from 32 ax clearance + A/C x 4 + Tamoxifen x 5yrs. Dx 11/4/2008, ILC, Stage IV, 2/32 nodes, mets, ER+, HER2-
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Jul 30, 2010 12:27PM AnacortesGirl wrote:

OMG

I hadn't been on for a few days and finally made it through the last 3 pages.  I was laughing so hard I had to keep taking breaks!

So many great ones!  Someone ought to take this on the road.  Could you imagine what they audience would look like?  Scarfs, wigs, rashes, sleeves.  Not to mention the chests.  Perky, flat, lopsided ....

Christy - BRCA2+; mets to bones and liver, Taxol/Sutent -> AC, BMX - no recon, Rads, Carboplatin, BSO, Veliparib trial (8/30/13-3/13/14) Dx 7/21/2009, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 14/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/1/2010 Aromasin (exemestane) Hormonal Therapy 2/1/2011 Dx 9/9/2012, ILC, Stage IV, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/9/2012 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy 3/29/2013 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 8/16/2013 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Chemotherapy 3/20/2014 Carboplatin (Paraplatin)
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Jul 30, 2010 12:34PM kittycat wrote:

when you're afraid your long wig will come off when someone hugs you! 

When you look down your top in public to see your breast spasm (and you don't care if people look at you strange)! LOL!!!

2 time survivor of triple negative BC, postiive for BRCA1 gene mutation! 9 surgeries, 5 months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation. Dx 6/17/2009, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 4/30/2010, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/10 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/16/2010 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 11/15/2010
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Jul 30, 2010 12:48PM kittycat wrote:

Okay - another one... or 2

When my customers call me to make sure I'm alive and still doing okay - not to complain about an issue!  (this is a perk). 

When I have chemo brain so bad, I forget conference calls and have to give myself multiple reminders to get stuff done at work!!! 

This is a great thread!!!

2 time survivor of triple negative BC, postiive for BRCA1 gene mutation! 9 surgeries, 5 months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation. Dx 6/17/2009, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 4/30/2010, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/10 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/16/2010 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 11/15/2010
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Jul 30, 2010 12:50PM gillyone wrote:

when your pain in your bad boob turns out to be a staph infection.

Dx 6/5/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 9/15 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 30, 2010 12:51PM WellWater wrote:

When your hair care basket only consists of shampoo and a comb...and you really don't even need the comb!

If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience.
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Jul 30, 2010 12:56PM gillyone wrote:

you have no shame when you post that you pooped in your pants after the c/t scan because nobody told you the gallon of contrast stuff you drank might cause a little looseness down there!

you post about your poor little bottom after pooping too many times.

(I have added this thread to my favs - too fun.)

Dx 6/5/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 9/15 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 30, 2010 12:58PM gillyone wrote:

sorry gals - I'm not really obsessed by poop Wink
Dx 6/5/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 9/15 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 30, 2010 01:01PM mumito wrote:

ROTFL

Dx 4/23/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 2/15 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 30, 2010 02:51PM Faith316 wrote:

Aussie Sheila --- I can TOTALLY relate to holding your hand over your shirt.  I am always aware of that at the grocery store.  In fact, I just got home from buying groceries at Walmart a few minutes ago and made my friend who was with me reach in to unload the buggy onto the conveyor belt for this very reason!

DX 4/08 IDC, ER-, PR-, HER2+, IIB, Grade 3,lumpectomy,2/8 nodes,4 AC,12 wks.Taxol,Herceptin,30 rads. DX IBC 6/09 while still in treatment. Now Stage III. 6 mo. of Xeloda done, still on Tykerb. Uni-mx & another node dissection 2/4/10.
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Jul 30, 2010 03:28PM amlg1 wrote:

When your obsessed with this website.sign on at least 3 x a day.

Anna.7/22/11 mets to spinal fluid.7/1/2011 now met to brain:( Stage IV Dx 4/22/2009, ILC, 2cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 31/34 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jul 30, 2010 04:24PM o2bhealthy wrote:

when you are disappointed that you found awesome temporary tattoo's but cannot show anyone without be accused of FLASHING...

Michelle ~ DCIS and IDC - Thyroid Cancer dx 10-27-10, partial thyroidectomy 11-23-10 Dx 5/15/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 6/23/2009 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Targeted Therapy 7/19/2009 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 7/19/2009 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 11/11/2009 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Hormonal Therapy 11/30/2009
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Jul 30, 2010 04:30PM MicheleS wrote:

just 3 times a day?! try 30!!

TNBC dx 12/26/2008, Stage I
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Jul 30, 2010 04:52PM - edited Jul 30, 2010 04:52PM by thegoodfight

When you break your toe and it takes months to heal (almost 3 mos now and still not wearing shoes, only flip flops) and you think Chemo and rads didn't stop my life this much.  And, like me and gilly, you are THRILLED to learn you have a staph infection in your breast.................................... AND NOT IDC!!  Yes, you do get to a point that you can laugh, and that's a good thing, a really good thing.

Dx 7/14/2008, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 30, 2010 05:06PM daffodil45 wrote:

This is hilarious! How about when your teenage son tries to signal you from across the room to "adjust" the foobs! ("Mom....you have one creeping to the middle!") He ended up texting me!

If your face is swollen from the severe beatings of life, smile and pretend to be a fat man. ~ Nigerian proverb.
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Jul 30, 2010 05:11PM pj12 wrote:

Oh daffodll.... that is so sweet and funny and poignant. What brave and smart and hilarious women.

Thanks for the giggles.

pam 

"Nobody told me there'd be days like this ~ Strange days, Indeed. " John Lennon................... Treatment: Lumpectomy, 36 Radiation, Arimidex, now Tamoxifen Dx 3/3/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 30, 2010 05:30PM chita wrote:

You know you're a cancer patient when you see a woman braless and the first thing you think is, I bet she has breast cancer.

Frances Dx 3/17/2010, DCIS, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 30, 2010 05:34PM o2bhealthy wrote:

or when you see women walking through the grocery store store bra-less and wonder...are they real or silicon?

Michelle ~ DCIS and IDC - Thyroid Cancer dx 10-27-10, partial thyroidectomy 11-23-10 Dx 5/15/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 6/23/2009 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Targeted Therapy 7/19/2009 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 7/19/2009 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 11/11/2009 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Hormonal Therapy 11/30/2009
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Jul 30, 2010 06:18PM - edited Jul 30, 2010 08:55PM by justpayton1

For those of us who have had a mx and no recon...to miss the right to be able to walk around bra-less.

edited to add..I had a left mx..so that leaves me w/ 1 size D breast on the right side.
Diagnosis: 2/9/2009, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, 2/13 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2-

Dx 2/9/2009, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, 2/13 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 30, 2010 07:20PM - edited Jul 30, 2010 07:31PM by lisa-e

justpalton, I have a mx, no recon and walk around braless all the time.  Whether or not I have the right to do so, I don't know but I do it any way.

when you miss your breasts... 

when you look at another woman, recognize she also has had a mastectomy and want to say something to her, but do not have the nerve...

Initial BC dx with dcis & idc after lumpectomy & snb in 6/08. in 8/08 dx with multicentric bc (idc) after mri. had bilat mastecomy in 9/08 w/o reconstruction Dx 5/2008, DCIS, 2cm, Stage 0, Grade 3 Dx 6/2008, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/19 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Left, Right, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left
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Jul 30, 2010 07:23PM msmpatty wrote:

...you consider it a perk to be a priority patient at the lab.

Dx 5/13/2009, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 2/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 6/18/2009 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Chemotherapy 8/24/2009 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 2/23/2010 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 4/5/2010 Femara (letrozole) Dx 10/8/2020, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/22/2020 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 12/17/2020 Whole-breast: Breast
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Jul 30, 2010 07:29PM jenn3 wrote:

when your friend knocks on the door and wakes you from the chair you fell asleep in.....and her first words are "you rubbed off one of your eyebrows"

when you hear the word dog ears you no longer thing of dog ears you think of what's left after having a bi-lat mx..............

Jenn - June 2009 IDC-TN, Stage III, 02/2011 Stage IV mets to the lungs & spine / Laugh until your belly hurts, then laugh some more...........
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Jul 30, 2010 07:51PM Faith316 wrote:

When your list of magazine subscriptions includes not only Ladie's Home Journal, Good Housekeeping and Redbook, but also Cure.

DX 4/08 IDC, ER-, PR-, HER2+, IIB, Grade 3,lumpectomy,2/8 nodes,4 AC,12 wks.Taxol,Herceptin,30 rads. DX IBC 6/09 while still in treatment. Now Stage III. 6 mo. of Xeloda done, still on Tykerb. Uni-mx & another node dissection 2/4/10.

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