Topic: Is anyone else an atheist with BC besides me?

Jan 21, 2008 06:10PM iodine wrote:

Hi Diane, lovely explaination.  I do believe that those who don't follow our path do appreciate our kind thoughts, even in the manner of prayer. LOL

I used to know people who would actually get upset that I lit a candle for them.  On the other hand, in nursing school, I actually had another student stand over my bed and pray for my soul because I was becomming a Catholic---and it was a Catholic nursing school!

(shaking head in confusion)

All kind thoughts and yes, even prayers, are appreciated.  No matter to whom we pray or send positive thoughts.  IMO

Jan 21, 2008 09:40PM - edited Mar 28, 2008 09:59PM by badboob67

Jan 21, 2008 10:56PM Diana_B wrote:

This is an interesting thread.

Someone said to me recently that old line "There are no atheists in foxholes". However, I never believed in God and still don't, in spite of this experience.

I'm uncomfortabe with the word "atheist". I used it to describe myself when the oncology resident asked me about my "faith", but it didn't feel right. "Atheist" suggests you think about it and have some kind of opinion or philosophy - almost like you're actively rejecting something. I don't: I just don't connect with or understand the belief in God and have never felt like I had to think about it or come up with reasons or an argument. It's not a concern of mine and it's not natural to me to think about or be troubled by it. I guess I feel the onus of argument is on the believers lol.

When someone says they'll pray for me it depends on the way it's said. I usually just take it to mean that they're thinking about me and care and are wishing me well.

Darya

Jan 22, 2008 12:25PM - edited Jan 22, 2008 12:46PM by Believer0711

Hi ladies,

I have very strong convictions about my faith in Jesus, my Lord and Savior. I feel very sad that people "seem" to be offended by loving support and prayers. I speak from my heart when I pray for someone. When I was diagnosed, no words from family and friends, not even church community, can calm me down. I guess I only wanted to hear what I want to hear. I cried endlessly, so scared that death is imminent. God's words comforted me, and I wanted to share that comfort to anyone who are going through the same turmoil. During this journey, heartfelt prayers lifted me up and allowed me to cope. And that's the best way I know to show my support and care.

For those who don't believe in God, prayers may mean nothing to you. But it doesn't bother me...you're still in my prayers...

God bless,

Aurora

Jan 22, 2008 01:39PM Iza wrote:

Just wondering... to those of you who are devout Christians: how would you feel if someone told you they would throw a witch spell in your honor tonight? Or that they would hold a Satanic ceremony in your honor? I have a feeling you would feel uncomfortable, to put it mildly.

Jan 22, 2008 02:25PM anneshirley wrote:

In the past I subscribed to another breast cancer form.  A woman who had just learned her mets were advancing and she had a short time to live, wrote a post literally begging members for information on new chemo treatments, new combinations, new trials.  At the end, and very politely, she asked if only those who could provide medical assistance would reply to her post.  She added that she appreciated posts that say "I can't help but I'm praying for you," but she preferred just to get medical information.

The first reply to her post said almost exactly that:  "I can't help on chemo treatments, but I'm praying for you."  And quite a number of similar "praying" posts arrived after that and one or two that actually tried to help with chemo information.  I left the site shortly after that, as I use these forums mainly for medical information and occasionally for emotional support, and hope that I can give back the same.  The praying and new age stuff is unproductive for me and I stay away from such threads. Let me emphasize, "unproductive for me!" 

I am no longer a believer and I find it peculiar, and offensive, when people impose their views on me when they already know my views. I don't impose mine on them.  If you want to pray for someone that doesn't want your prayers, can't you do it quietly?  If God is all knowing, then surely he can read your thoughts. If you impose your beliefs on a person when you know they are not wanted, you are being provocative and unkind.  Why would anyone want to be unkind to someone who is suffering? I had sixteen years of a rigorous Christian education, and I know that to cause suffering to another is not part of the Christian ethic!  If Christ suffered in silence, why can't you offer up your prayers in silence.     

Jan 22, 2008 02:29PM Little-G wrote:

This is a very interesting thread.  I am not a Christian and do not believe in the big god in the sky either.  However, I have many friends that are.  When I was first dx with bc, it use to bother me when they said "I am praying for you."  I'm not sure why it bothered me.  I guess I must have taken some offense to it.  But now, I understand that it is their way of connecting.  If I feel they are in need of help, I have my own "ceremony" to pass along to them.  I don't tell them that, but I still consider them when doing rituals.  I do not go for people forcing their religion or beliefs on anyone.  But..I do understand that we all have different thoughts on life, and spirituality.  And if someone gives you good thoughts, and they are truly good thoughts and not something meant as sarcasm, I think we should accept those and return the favor, in what ever manor works for you.  It has been said that prayer can be powerful, my thoughts are more scientific for it, as it is a mass of positive energy being passed along.  But whatever you think, if given in a positive way, it can be a good thing.  Whatever your belief, I wish us all well!!!

g

Jan 22, 2008 03:09PM Little-G wrote:

Anne,

I wouldn't do that.  And that's what I meant by sarcasm.  Then I think that person is forcing it, and I don't go for that either.  I understand where you're coming from.  There are really very far and few people in between that are really sincere in their beliefs.  Some use it as a tool.  And huge egos, I agree.  Its one of the reasons I stopped believing.  Most seem very hypocritical.  But that's another topic.  I guess my point is, if someone is sincere in their belief and they say that they are praying for you, I think it comes from their heart.  If you tell them to stop saying it and they still do, then it seems like they are pushing it on you.  So..just my thoughts. 

g

Jan 22, 2008 03:26PM Analemma wrote:

This is a great conversation, and I'm so glad to see so many women finally "come out" in a forum where it seems ok to talk about faith and prayer, and taboo to mention a lack of faith or non-belief.  I am an atheist, also, and I am uncomfortable with too much "god-speak" but I know that many folks find great comfort from their belief.

I have a little funny story.  My dil was raised Catholic, and her mother is devout.  My son, like me, is atheist, and they did not marry in the Church, but had a civil ceremony with handfasting.  So, my DIL told mea couple of weeks ago, laughingly, that her mom had put me on the prayer list at church, but told DIL not to tell me because I'd be mad.  DIL knows that it wouldn't make me mad!  So her mother sent me flowers with a card "thinking of you" or something non-religious.  I wrote her a thank you and told her I appreciated her good wishes, whether or not they were in the form of prayer.  Yesterday I got a get well card, with a note "We are praying and/or thinking of you."  Everybody can laugh, kind sentiments and healing thoughts are expressed, and I'm grateful to know that people care about me.

Jan 22, 2008 03:34PM Analemma wrote:

Wow, this is active.  I started my comment, then took a phone call and two other posts were up.

I also wanted to mention that I had started attending the loca Unitarian Church (atheists welcome!) a couple of months before my mets dx, and was going to a women's group that meets twice a month.  I have had wonderful, kind emotional support from those great ladies, and no one has mentioned prayer even once!  Instead, I get emails saying "just thinking of you" or sometimes someone will send a sweet or funny poem, lunch invitations, just all the things you'd want and no talk of anything religious at all.  Just normal stuff, enough to know that I have a support group.

Jan 22, 2008 04:06PM Sige wrote:

First of all, I didn't mean to offend anyone...I think I took badboob's post in a different light and was surprised when it was so insulting to dudess. I was trying to understand what was so insulting about it.

Of course, I was only looking at it from my point of view, which is that even though I am not a christian I accept people's good wishes in any way they want to give them to me.  I believe that prayer is just another form of magick and if prayer is their power, then so be it.  Anyone who's known me for awhile on here knows that I am pagan (no worries though...would never do magick for you without your permission).

I  embrace diversity and honor everyone's right to believe and worship in their own way.

I'm never sure what to say to christians...I don't pray to their God so "praying for you" wouldn't work.  I do send "healing energy and positive thoughts" for people who have asked for support which I think (hope) is safe...?!?

I guess I just wanted to say that I could have made my comment sound a little nicer and I apologize if I hurt anyone before.

Blessed be,

Peggy 

Jan 22, 2008 04:28PM MarieKelly wrote:

Yes, I'm an athiest too. Was raised catholic and spent 9 very long years in a catholic grade school. Somewhere around 3rd grade I stopped believing what I was being taught about religion and have never since had any doubt about feeling there is no god. I spent nearly 14 years as a hospital oncology nurse and during that time, saw many people die and a whole lot of prayers being offered in many different religions. Never once did I ever see god respond to any of those prayers...not once in all that time.  Like many of you have said, I have no problem with anyone offering up prayers to myself or anyone else ...they just simply have no meaning for me beyond knowing the person offering them is intending their best wishes and goodwill. 

Jan 22, 2008 04:34PM paige-allyson wrote:

Sunflowers- B. Yes I did. W. Farms is about an hour and 15 from here about as far as Amherst. I'm in the NE corner right near the MA border so Worcester is actually closer than Htfd. Very nice with the makeup trip. Gotta go- do not want to hijack the thread. (Please disregard this brief interruption). Glad the discussion is back on track. WHEW!

Jan 22, 2008 05:35PM - edited Jan 22, 2008 05:35PM by anneshirley

Isabella, Not I hope before I get a chance to tell you how much I laughed at the vision of the bishops spinning around in their dresses.  Oh, those country houses!  I'd probably pretend just to live in one of them!

Jan 22, 2008 06:29PM Sige wrote:

Well said Isabella!