For those who have met on Breastcancer.org and want to continue growing their cybersibling friendships beyond cancer.
Posted on: Jul 18, 2015 06:14PM - edited Feb 20, 2016 10:31PM by SlowDeepBreaths
I'm hoping there isn't another thread like this. I did a search and saw one for stage 4, but nothing for everyone else. My very special friend on BCO (Tomboy), and I have talked about a Crazy Town thread for awhile now. I know she will be happy I finally took the bull by the horns!!
I wrote a little story about visiting Crazy Town last year on my blog, and I received some lovely emails from women all over the world talking about how terrifying those feelings can become. I thought I would share that story with my BCO sisters. I know many of you can relate to the craziness of worrying about recurrence or progression. I think my experience epitomizes the crazy place our minds can go. I've found when I can laugh at myself, I always feel better.
"My master bath has its own little room for the toilet. The sink, shower and tub are all in the same room. At night when I have to use the bathroom, I always turn on the closet light which is right next to my sink. This way I don't have to turn on all the lights above the sink. They are very bright and there are a lot of them. I do this so the brightness doesn't wake up my DH. Being the OCD person I am, I always wash my hands after using the restroom – even in the middle of the night.
One night last week, I was doing my usual ritual and I caught a glimpse of a big blackish/brown mark on the upper left side of my chest.This thing was huge. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest when I caught a glimpse of it. I'm sure many of you will know what I'm talking about - that feeling of dread.I ran my fingers over it and it felt raised. I couldn't imagine what it could be – it was SO big. I thought, "Oh great, here we go again, now I've got skin cancer." Then I decided to risk waking DH up by turning on the millions of lights above the sink. Then I got a closer look. UNBELIEVABLE!!……it was a piece of chocolate from a cookie I had eaten earlier!!!!! Apparently it had melted into my chest and I went to bed that way. Can you imagine?? Now if that doesn't give you a good laugh, I don't know what will. CRAZY TOWN!!!"
I have many stories since diagnosis. I call it going to Crazy Town. Some of them are funny, others not so much. I usually go there in the middle of the night when everyone is sleeping, and my mind wanders. There are no trains, planes or busses out of Crazy Town in the middle of the night. I also go there at times when I'm waiting on test results. I hope we can all share our Crazy Town stories. Talking about it has helped me to stay on the outskirts of the town. I've been really good about not visiting lately, but this week it's been a real challenge.
If you have tests coming up, or you just have a day where you're worried more than usual, or if you just want to hang out and chat, please stop in to visit. It is my hope we can have some fun here and get each other through on difficult days with humor, kindness and hugs!!
Much love to all,
Beppy ツP.S. If you've just been diagnosed, I strongly suggest starting a blog. Whether it be just for yourself, or you'd like to share it with others. It's been a good outlet to get my feelings out as well as a wonderful timeline to refer back to when needed.
Great info about breast cancer and PTSD:
Posts 14071 - 14100 (14,833 total)
Jul 4, 2018 07:57PM ChiSandy wrote:
Only one A/C vent in the room? That's more than I have in my whole house! We don't have ductwork, so no central air for us--we depend on our window units. (We have hot water heat in winter). Funny how when I was a kid, if we wanted A/C, we had to go to the movies or a restaurant. We lived on the 3rd fl. of a 1910-era 4-fl. walk-up, and the wiring couldn't handle it. We had box fans in every window. When we moved to a new apt. in a 2-flat near my high school, we were overjoyed to find sleeves cut into the walls for A/Cs. Our 7 years in UW student housing in Seattle, we relied on fans, a swamp cooler and eventually the Health Sci. Bldg. lounge. When we moved to Chicago 40 yrs ago, our first purchase was a window A/C--even before we bought beds (we slept on the floor in our sleeping bags the first couple of nights)!
Jul 4, 2018 08:59PM sweetp6217 wrote:
Thunderstorms put an abrupt halt to fireworks near me (SW of Chicago). In Chicago, the display was complete before it started raining (WGN at Navy Pier). I'm home though. First mammo since surgery is next week and one or two herceptins to go.
ChiSandy: perfect priority, A/C before mattresses.
Jul 4, 2018 09:47PM ChiSandy wrote:
Happy 4th, sweetp! We decided to sit indoors and watch "A Capitol Fourth" (and have the Macy's display queued up on the DVR). Rained in the Loop but sorta just spat up here. Good luck on your mammo!
Got my pre-op clearance appt. tomorrow for next week's hand/arm surgery--worried because my asthma is still sticking around after my cold is over, thanks to pollen & mold allergies. (How are the weeds & grasses down by you? It's a ragweed jungle in my alley). If I have to postpone surgery, then there goes our trip to NYC on the 18th--unless the surgery can wait till we get back. Got a vocals-and-harmonica-only gig 7/22 (day after getting home). But postponing surgery could mean canceling autumn shows in case I haven't yet healed well enough to play guitar & dulcimer.
Jul 5, 2018 12:23AM sweetp6217 wrote:
ChiSandy, I hope that your surgery goes as planned and that everything falls into place for you. The show must go on as they say. The pollen and mold, etc. are pretty bad here too. I have to remember to take all my allergy meds, cause if I forget to, it usually takes about a month to fully recover from the allergy symptoms. Somehow, that wasn't a problem last fall when my chemo related symptoms prevented me from taking some of those meds. Couldn't take those allergy and expectorant pills for a couple of months.
That sounds like a wonderful dream performing like you do. I hope you get your "chops" back quickly. Thanks for the good wishes.
Jul 5, 2018 12:16PM proudtospin wrote:
afternoon all, heat is cooling down now. I had gone to derma as i could feel bumps in my scalp but did not know i should be worried, so of course i worried! Well one was a cyst and one a mole, doc did biopsies and all fine. She was also the one who gave me a cream for my nasty skin problem bumbs are nothing and the cream, saver.
Lucy,, i think my pain on side may be asthma cough related as i wzs not doing my axthma meds..so paying attention bettef..
Jul 5, 2018 12:46PM Molly50 wrote:
Well we made it to Wyatt's 20th birthday! We had a western themed party. It was very nice. He lasted an hour before getting too tired. He's still struggling so it is one day at a time in my house. I have a question for you knowledgeable ladies. My right breast (implant) which is my non cancer side, I keep getting these red spots that I assume are infections since they get hot, sore and respond to neosporin. It is only that side. I also have a lump on the chest on that side that ultrasound showed as nothing there. My surgeon is keeping an eye on it. What do you think about the sores that come and go? I had a sizable one this week that is fading. I wondered if maybe something from the implant is bothering me or stitches or something? Any ideas?
Jul 5, 2018 02:42PM Lucy55 wrote:
Molly ..sorry about the sores ..I hope someone comes on here who can help .
Iris ..glad those bumps were only a cyst as mole ..😊
Jul 5, 2018 02:43PM Molly50 wrote:
Thank you, Lucy. Check him out in his new wheelchair!
Jul 5, 2018 04:37PM - edited Jul 5, 2018 04:42PM by ChiSandy
Cool "hot wheels," Molly! Happy Birthday to Wyatt! Those red spots could also be heat-rash-related, or even a aensitivity to the suture material. How large are they?
Iris, I've had "side-stitch" from asthmatic coughing all week. I used to get it if I breathed too fast & hard during exercise (back in the day when I could actually run). Intercostal muscle irritation.
Asthma is a huge problem here, acc. to my PCP, thanks to both high pollen & mold counts (he confirms that despite what the official pollen counts taken out in the W. suburbs say, what we have here on the n. lakefront is indeed ragweed...already). The heat & humidity is causing a thermal inversion that is trapping not just allergens but pollutants as well. I got cleared for next week's surgery--nonetheless, we're aggressively managing my asthma & allergies now.
Jul 5, 2018 05:07PM octogirl wrote:
Cool wheels indeed, and Happy Birthday Wyatt!
Sorry I can't help on the spots, Molly, but I wondered about heat rash as well....
Hugs to all;
Jul 5, 2018 08:18PM TaRenee wrote:
Gaga pot Birthday Wyatt! Cool Harry Potter pants and socks!!!
Jul 6, 2018 08:11AM proudtospin wrote:
sandy, you know us c folks can get nutty but good to hear you got side stitches from asthma, i confess i sort of skipped my advair........not gonna do that again! I ve had my asthma under control for years, do not think i will confess this to my primary doc who takes care of the asthma. Dang stupid me! Thanks!
I do love my dermatologist, she was knew to me but so glad she knew my problem of funky cyst think
Jul 9, 2018 08:20AM Cubbie2015 wrote:
The oral surgeon said the bump on the roof of my mouth was OK. He said that some people get these things after an injury. It has gone completely down now. I am being more careful about how I eat things so I do not stab myself with a tortilla chip and start the whole thing all over again!
Happy birthday, Wyatt! I love the Harry Potter pants and socks, too.
In your pocket for your surgery this week, Sandy. I'm glad you don't totally have to give up performing while you recover.
Allergies in my area aren't too bad right now, but we are about to move into the time of year when one of the plants I'm allergic to blooms. It seems like if one thing isn't blooming another is. Plus, it has been so dry here for the past 10 days that everything is dusty.
I have been trying to eat healthier, but I have a problem with stress eating. I can't take any medication for my anxiety, since they are all contraindicated with other medications I have to take, so it seems like food is all I have to feel better. I do pretty good until something comes along that worries me, and then I fall off the wagon, so I can only make it about 3 or 4 days at a time. The healthier eating seems to be helping my blood pressure just the same, even if I can't stick with it consistently.
I've got labs this week, and six month MO appointment next week. You can bet I'll be eating some unhealthy food as soon as my fasting labs are done.
Jul 9, 2018 10:56AM proudtospin wrote:
cubbie, congrats for getting a good report, now stay away from sharp chips! I went to derm the other week thinking i had something horrid on my scalp, after biopsy, turned out to be harmless bump.
Past couple days my side was hurting bad but since it was weekend, i hung on. Woke up this morning and much better! So i have diagnosed it as the result of 3 days in row at gym working on upperbody stuff! Staying away from that gym machine for a while!
Jul 9, 2018 11:11AM moth wrote:
My right breast was never scanned after I got dx'd on the left side. I had a clean mammo in June 2017 and they said that was enough - they just palpated it.
In June 2018 I pushed for that R breast to have its annual screening. And now I'm on a roller coaster of tests because they see some calcification and can't rule out dcis without biopsy. Diagnostic mammogram & u/s done, now waiting for a mammogram guided biopsy on July 26 (a week pfc because I'm so neutropenic that doing it during chemo seems like an invitation to an infection).
I'm suddenly more stressed than I have been in months :(
Jul 9, 2018 12:13PM proudtospin wrote:
moth , deep breath, you did the right thing, best to keep on top of this junk, let us know when you get your results, and cheering for an all clear
Jul 9, 2018 03:19PM Lucy55 wrote:
Cubbie ..I can SO relate to eating unhealthy after the labs are taken !!!! No wine passes my lips for any least a month before my tests , and then that night I HAVE to have a glass and cheese and crackers to help me while I worry about the results !!!!!!!
Iris .glad you are feeling better ...probably a good idea to go easy at the gym at least .
Moth ..Sorry you are going through this .I would of thought they would of scanned your right breast as well when you were diagnosed...We will all be in your pocket on July 26 for the biopsy ...and hoping for B9 results .
Sandy ..thinking of you ..hoping your surgery goes well ...
Hugs to all .
Jul 9, 2018 09:01PM TaRenee wrote:
MO appt on Wednesday. Blood work first. I want to know what’s up with my iron levels. I’m super tired these days (again) and don’t want to go backwards.
Jul 10, 2018 08:37PM sweetp6217 wrote:
Finally! I had my 6 month mammo after lumpectomy and the funny thing is that my non-surgical breast is more tender than the obvious one. Instant results. Little bits here and there, scar tissue and thicker tissue due to rads (benign). My left one goes back in 6 months, the right one in a year. I wonder why they don't do both in a year or both in 6 months. All done with chemo as of last week, so it's just down to the meds for 5 years; 3 months in, 4.75 years to go. All that's left is the power port. Anyone manage to get their port removed without the aid of a mask or IV (sedation, anesthesia, etc.)?
Jul 11, 2018 06:09AM duckyb1 wrote:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WYATT.......I hope your birthday was as beautiful as your picture.......hugs, and many more birthdays in my prayers for you.....
Jul 11, 2018 11:10AM proudtospin wrote:
hey ducky, long time no see! Hope all is good with that big family of yours.
Well just back from monthly luncheon with the aqua ladies. Fun, we compared answers we give to pesky telemarketers! Interesting as got to figure they target us older ladies, we are all preped with sarcastic answers now
Jul 11, 2018 01:01PM - edited Jul 11, 2018 01:02PM by IchangedMyName
In light of the original post about crazytown - how about the crazy cancer dreams??
I dreamt a couple nights ago that two ping-pong sized black tarry nasty balls came out of my boob (right boob where tumor was/is? It has shrunk but hard to say if it's still there at all). They rolled onto the floor and into a corner.
All in all, it was quite freaky and upsetting while the dream was happening but in perspective, I think this is an amazing sign!!!
Jul 11, 2018 04:52PM ChiSandy wrote:
Glad to see you surfacing, Ducky!
Had my surgery (trifecta: TFCC debridement, scaphoid internal fixation, ulnar shortening osteotomy) yesterday. Finally have sensation in my fingers, wrist & arm again—albeit said sensation being pain. Sling is off, they want me to move my arm & fingers as much as I can. Pain control is tricky—stay ahead of it but not burn through the Norco too quickly. (Taking 600mg Advil BID to help). Had to get help donning my bra—even a front-closing one—only to find my L boob is too big for its cup and R one too small. (Next year, reduction surgery—enough surgery for right now).
Jul 11, 2018 04:58PM duckyb1 wrote:Hi Mommy.....Hi Iris.....I”m still here....above ground and taking nourishment....turned 83 in April.....all the family is good.....I have 2 more weddings this year..one in Nov. and another in Dec.....plus 2 more great-grandchildren.....one in Nov. and another in Dec....another girl, and another boy....was down the shore last week with my daughter, ....my grandaughter came with me, and my grandson and his wife came in from Chicago......nice house, but I still miss mine, and my pool....but glad I have somewhere to go for the company......they go to the beach but her hosue is 6 blocks from the beach, and this ass is not doing that walk.....and that is to the sand, then you have the walk up and over the Dune.....thank God for xword puzzles and the Ipad....my son is on the beach, but it wasn’t his turn to be honored by my presence........LOL......No excuse why I haven’t been posting.....I do now and then check in......and will continue. to do so......you all be good now, cause the oldest lady on her is keeping her eye on you.......Hugs.....oh and I forgot to mention the funniest, prettiest, smartest, sexiest (member of the Mile High Club) there is........and if I forgot something.....Irish will add it in.......love you all.
Jul 11, 2018 05:01PM duckyb1 wrote:
Had to show you this.....my youngest grandaughter just donated 10 inches of her hair to Pantene’s :Hair cause I Care”.....this is her 2nd time....I was a total of 8 ponytails...``