how about drinking?

Beanius · February 2011

Gail Baby, so glad to hear from you. I love your corgi pic and Wahine Baby I love you sock monkey doing the snow angel. You lovely ladies mean so much to me, I think of you all the time and so glad you're okay AStorm!!! Luv n hugs n don't get no bed bugs...cHairs n dog beers! ~Beanie Babay

claire_in_seattle · February 2011

Was the most glorious day when I drove out to my client's. All the mountains in full view and snow above something like 6000'. And much brighter too!

Things are just fine here, but of course more work than I imagined 24 hours ago. Not entirely a surprise though.

Glad to see everyone is back.

Have one more serving of stew left so was well worth making. Had with kale (Dorothy!) but braised in garlic and olive oil so delish.

On salt.....I am always amazed by these edicts. The problem is stuff laced with the stuff, which is most fast food and snacks. Otherwise, please leave me out of this one. Same syndrome as the crowd who eat 2000 calories at dinner and then use artificial sweetener in coffee. DUH!!!!

It's about health and pleasure. The French get this one, and we don't. One of the major life lessons I learned while studying there. That is, super rich cheese with a pear for lunch is better for you than some concoction which is "nutritionally balanced" and lacking in flavor. The former satisfies, and the latter makes you reach for the closest sweet. (Anjou pears with Bleu de Bresse to be precise, but other substitutes work.)

But need to hit the sack as tomorrow is another busy day. Had some more wine with dinner, and all is well with the world.

Hoping for sunshine again........

Unknown · February 2011

Hello BCO friends!

It has been a long while since my last post (Dec. 19^th!). I'm not entirely sure why I've been away, except that for awhile there I really didn't want to chat about cancer anymore, especially during the holidays. Then I found myself getting into a major funk for quite some time, especially around the topic of depression, changing SSRI meds to work with tamoxifen, and starting radiation in late December. Sometimes I felt like I was the Debbie downer, and other times I felt myself getting sucked into a pity party, and I didn't like either of those scenarios. My typical response to uncomfortable situations is to bail out, so that's what I did. A bit of information overload, crisis responses, and alarming "what if" scenarios. There's only so much a girl can take!

I went back to work, part-time, on January 3^rd, which was about the end of my 2^nd week of radiation. The fatigue kicked my booty and "re-entry" wasn't so good. One day I went home and took a nap from 4:30pm to 8:00pm, got up and had a bowl of cereal for dinner, then went right back to bed and slept until 9:00am the next morning. I knew to expect fatigue, but I didn't expect it to be so severe.

Having been back to work for a month, I now completely understand "chemo brain". I am nowhere near the sharp-minded gal I used to be and made several mistakes in those first few weeks. I've been double- and triple-checking my work because I'm so unsure of myself. Just today I went to a meeting that isn't scheduled until Thursday. Then, this evening (Tuesday), I thought it WAS Thursday and wanted to be sure to record Grey's Anatomy. Very disheartening to think I am that checked out.

Today was my last regular radiation treatment. All in all, the 28 radiation treatments over the last 5 ½ weeks were bearable, but somewhat "trying" and exhausting. It took a total of about 2 hours every day, including drive time. Add to that at least 4 hours at work plus an hour drive time for that commute, and the days are about as full as I can handle for now. I started out using Miaderm cream on my skin every day during treatment. As for side effects from the radiation, I developed a 3" oval black spot (yes, black!) in the lower region of my armpit about the end of the 2^nd week. That spot proceeded to peel, but started to heal up pretty quickly. By the 3^rd week I began to develop more skin "breakdown" in two different areas, which quickly became (and remain) quite raw and painful. My RO gave me Silvadene cream along with a lidocaine gel to mix with it. That combination certainly brings comfort to my sad skin. When the pain is strong enough to wake me during sleep, I take Percocet. The rest of the time I take prescription strength Naprosyn, which is 2½ times the over-the-counter strength of Aleve.

I've had a couple episodes of near-meltdown during radiation. One day, while I lay on the table, I felt like I was sort of floating but also being pushed around the room, which is understandable since the table moves and the machine moves around me. I guess fatigue and stress can make you sort of hallucinate during those vulnerable times. I just felt really light-headed and loony. Another day, my breast was so sore I just did not even want to go to the clinic. It took every bit of grit I could muster to stay still on the table until the treatment was over. The techs who handle my treatments are awesome but I just don't want to fall apart on their shift. They have so many people to take care of.

Certainly there has been so much activity on my favorite topics that I have missed, and I hope you all don't think less of me for being away. I found so many discussions here SO helpful and all you ladies (and a few men!) so supportive; I know that my knowledge resources were vastly improved just for reading all your posts. I will continue to check in occasionally and will post when I can. This has been an indescribable year of changes for us all and I pray each of you are coping the best you can, making the best of the life you have ahead of you, and that all of us will increase the numbers of survivors for future statistics in years to come.