TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
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Good Morning Everyone: I think I started my nap Friday evening and it officially ended when I woke up this morning. It certainly has been a wonderful Holiday week-end. Now gotta get ready for the big one!
I still wont do any shopping today. Just hate shopping on the week-ends during Christmas. Much easier to do it during the week when its less busy. I keep thinking about all the cold and flu bugs out there and want to avoid getting sick at all cost if I can.
Neese: Yep - I did the same thing. Pulled out all the leftovers and munched on them all day and all night. Thanksgiving is officially over.
Have a great morning. Coffee is brewing and just threw more logs on the fire.
Nicki
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Good morning.
Neese and Nicki--me too--pulled out all the leftovers....i felt like a stuffed sausage after eating last nite.
Wnet to the movies to see Dustin Hoffmans' movie last nite. Very magical, cute movie. Good holiday movie.
Ok...got lots to do today. Yes, Nicki,Thanksgiving is officially over and here comes my fav time of year. I so love the Christmas holidays. Last year I was on chemo and was sick most of the time so this year I plan on enjoying each and every day till the Big day. The lights, the glitter, the shopping, wrapping, christmas cards,andpeople are friendlier this time of year....I love it all.
Have a good one!!
Hugs and prayers
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Well, went back to sleep and now Im up for the 2nd time. Im drinking coffee for the second time this morning and then Im getting dressed. I figure the least I could do is go out and get my Christmas cards. Can start writing them while Im watching football.
Candie: I sure do understand. I remember my chemo Christmas very well. Couldnt even go out shopping cause I was so afraid I would get sick with my counts being down. I remember stopping at a small store and found an ornament that was a vest. It had so much meaning for me cause every year I would buy my DH a vest for Christmas. That year he had to appreciate the vest ornament.
It makes me think about so many others here. Some are new and just going through the beginning of this journey. Others are dealing with mets and their journey continues.
We are strong, we are survivors. We are invinsible. We are Women!
Geesh! Guess I got a little sentimental this morning. This is the 3rd Christmas I will be spending time at bco. Lots of friendships have been made.
I wish you all peace and a wonderful day.
Nicki
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Good Morning sisters!
We too pulled out the TG leftovers for supper, had put it off by eating other meals so it was tasty to have TG food again. November 06 I had my first lumpectomy that started out as a biopsy. Told the bs to take it out right then and there if the biopsy shows its cancer. Sounds like a bunch of us were dealing with bc during last winter's holidays.
Hugs and Love to all my bc sisters!
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Morning Sista's,
Sheesh ... already 10:30 on this side of the sisterhood and I can't decide if I dare risk yet another trip to wallyworld. Need to get stuff to get started on Xmas cards. I like Nicki's idea of doing them while footballs on. Or I can try out my new leafblower. BUT, that 80 ft oak tree, which lives 30 ft from my back door, isn't done deleafing (or whatever its called) and I'll just have to do it all over again. Then there's the leaves from the dogwoods, maples and chestnuts. What the hell ... I'm just not gonna look out the bazillion windows in my house today!!
Boy, don't I have an exciting life!
My thoughts are with all of you, no matter where you're more comfortable posting. We're quite a lovely group of gals, and make a beautiful quilt when all sewn together, to keep us warm and give us comfort.
Love you all,
Bren
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Yahoo! We have hot water so now I can do dishes without boiling water first! And the shower works great! We still have one leak and Chad will come fix it when we get the parts! Thank God for a friends kids that is a plumber and needs money! He & The missus is trying to get pregnant and have to go the fertility route. He'd make a good dad.
Well got my picture with almost all of the kids and greand kids. One had to cancel as the baby was sick and they didn't want to take a chance of getting me sick. Guess I'll have to cut and paste a picture of them in like last time.
Cinnamon Buns, yum is it too late to get some??? I love them warm freash out of the oven with pecans sprinkled over them!
I want to go see that Movie about the toy store too! maybe I can talk Scott into it today.
I'm going to try and go back to work tomorrow. It's more important than ever I can work,
The Salon had less than 50 people but it was a cowardly thing to do. Say anything we can do to help then Sorry we can't accomidate your needs right now!
I just want to tear into that gal! But I will be a lady!
OK we haven't even cooked our turkey yet! Think we were waiting to have hot water so wash dishes before we started.
Well I have to run the grandkids are up and want Nana's attention
hugs and prayers
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Well its turning into a nice Sunday. Watching football and spending sometime with my DH and animals. Just thought I would pop in and say hello.
CY: Glad to see your post. You are feeling chipper today. Wish I wasnt such a big piggy eating most of those cinnamon buns. We need to yell out to Odalys to make more. Celebrating having hot water with you. Last year my hot water heater broke and it took a few days to get it replaced. First time I took a hot shower I felt like I was in heaven. I sure do understand the going back to work thing - and I sending the Italian curse to that gal that let Scott go!
Bren: We would make a nice quilt all sewn together. We really are a good bunch of people just coming here to support each other and make friendships. And when another one of us feels pain, I think we all do too.
Wild/Jan: Yes - this Christmas is gonna be a good one. I even have to worry about bad hair days now.
OK - this football game is getting good. Gotta go watch it.
Nicki
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CY---this may be a stupid question but I wasn't at Pinkstock so don't have all of the details. Is Scott a stylist? You referred to a salon. Could you get a small business loan to set up a salon at home and eliminate the whole problem with employers? When I lived in Maryland I had a stylist I followed all over the place, from JC Pennys to the most chi chi place in town until she set up a one chair salon in her home. Even after I moved out of the area I still drove 50 miles each way to have her cut my hair.
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Good Sunday Evening to all!
Back from DD's house! Had to sort out what the little one will be able to wear when he's born! Thank God for a few yellow and green outfits and nighties................a whole lot of pink in the storage tubs! Looks like Grandma gets to do some baby boy shopping!
Cy: Hot Water! What a good feeling, I'm sure! I understand if you have to work you do....................just a thought, but can Scott get unemployment seeing that he was let go? I didn't realize that he was on family leave until the other day. Hoping the best for you both.
Nicki: Did you get your Christmas cards? Don't be making me look bad by getting them out right away!!
Bren: Walmart two days in a row...........you are a brave soul! Are you getting fancy on Christmas Cards? You know, I don't have a shred of fancy in my blood!
WildJan and Candie: Thank goodness the Turkey is gone............went to DD's today and she said what do you want for lunch...................I said anything that doesn't start with a T!
I've posted a couple pics of my Sons wedding on Gina's site........don't want to duplicate, but I'll post a couple here too..............I know, the excitement is more than you can handle, right?!
Hugs,
Denise
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Hmmpt..............can't get a picture to print here..............I'll play around a bit and see if I can get it.
Denise
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Neese: Ive been missing you today. I forget you were spending time with your daughter and almost here grandbaby.
Didnt make you look bad. No Christmas cards. Havent even bought them yet.
Everyone else, have a wonderful evening. Im going to watch television.
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I went out and got my christmas cards today, used
about all the strength I had left after watching the movie about the magical Toy store.
Grandkids are great but I'm glad when they go home. They wear me out!
No Scott was the housekeeper / customer service manager not a stylist. I think he's going to go back to selling things on Ebay for a while
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Cy! How great to see such a happy post from you!
I hope you are feeling better- and I also hope that you are not overdoing it!!!
I am so glad you have water finally and things seem to be settling down.
Thank heaven!
Love,
g
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Good Morning Everyone: Well Thanksgiving is over. I sat around and did nothing this week-end, just trying to catch up on much needed sleep. And now its Monday already.
Its cold out there in the Chicago of the circle, well except for those of you who live at or are visiting Florida. I do have my teepee up with lots of comfy couches, chocolate, and good food. Nice fire to warm your hands so I hope you stop by for a visit.
The Bears won. I cant believe it. It was such a hard game to watch. But they one - so Im happy today.
CY: You got your Christmas cards too! Am I the only one that hasnt even bought them yet? I guess I better get my butt into gear.
Vickie: Good morning sunshine sister and hoping you have a great day today.
Gina: So today is Black Monday. Glad I did my online shopping yesterday. I am worried about the traffic today since I have to be driving about in it all day.
Neese: Im waving hello to you this morning.
Margo: Enjoy your first day in Florida.
OK - as usual, I dont have enough time to say everything that I want to say. Back to the work week where life is always crazy.
Have a wonderful day everyone.
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Good morning chicas and Peter I hope you are in bed sleeping restfully..........just checking in........CY congrats on the hot water........it looks like everyone had a nice Thanksgiving or at least interesting........family gatherings you just never know which way that may go...........I'm checking in this morning not only to say hello but this is to Jackie (catinthehat).......just want you to know that I miss you......you haven't posted since November 20th and just want you to know that your post got to me..........yes I must admitt that I was a little angry with you about some stuff but I to have done some reflection and I think I was really angry with myself.........Jackie you know how you meet someone and they intimidate you because they are so much more intelligent then you are.........my ex used to tell me that I had an air about myself that I was superior to people because I thought I was so much smarter than them and used to deny that but he was right........because I had a college education kept up with current events and did a lot of reading I did think I was smarter.......bc changed that for me....made me realize that I didn't know jack s**t about most things much less about what real intelligence is and that is something you are born with not some thing that can be learned....Jackie it didn't take long to realize you are one of those people that are just smart maybe a little too smart for your own good
but I think it took a lot of courage to admit that you had made some mistakes..........like I said I miss you something terrible.........if you are reading but not posting please consider coming back.....Shokk 0 -
Hello everyone. I really had to think about this before I posted it. Just as Vickie posted yesterday morning about feeling sad - I experienced the exact same thing.
Yesterday morning I woke up to my fair share of negativitiy too. It's hurtful and it's disappointing. If I had to wake up to that every morning, I would stop coming to these boards. But I do know I have made many friends and would miss many of you terribly.
I am asking everyone to just let the dust settle and lets resume our friendships. Yesterday morning I was told how many here have talked about what a terrible nurse I am. Terrible person. Mean and two faced. Yep - got the same information Vickie did.
And mind you, I really was on the confused couch as Im not sure why this information was even told to me. Maybe to hurt my feelings knowing some of you out there feel this way about me?
I think there is a bigger problem with many who talk via telephone and instant message! Those conversations are being brought here. People are being sent copies of pm's that were written in confidence to someone else. I myself received a couple of those and it almost broke my heart knowing that someone disliked me so much - especially when I liked that person alot.
We need to stop hurting others feelings. Why do we come here? For support and to give support.
So Im asking everyone, if we cant just be friends again. Please dont tell me what someone else says about me. If that person is upset with me - let them tell me. Please dont send me copies of pm's and emails that will only hurt my feelings when I read them.
Let's go about the business of supporting each other.
I have to tell ya, it hurt my feelings when people actually criticized my nursing because I have put my heart and life into that job for over 38 years. Im an advocate and help those in need whenever they need help. My patients respect me and know that I will be there for them. Is it really necessary to try and break down someones spirit by saying these things.? Of course its not. I dont want to hurt anyone feelings and I dont want my feelings hurt anymore either.
But I can tell ya, I know how Vickie felt. Just wanted to walk away.
Its Holiday time. A place for Peace and Joy! We lost another sister to this beast. That makes 3 in November alone. Lets not hurt each other anymore with ugly words. If someone cant say something nice, then just step back for a moment.
Nicki
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Niki im sorry someone is trying to hurt you and vicki why cant people just be nice and try to help each other you and vicki have helped me a lot thats why i come here i love all you girls i dont know whats going on but i beg you women that are doing this please stop we need each other dont try to hurt someones feelings just for kicks love deb from ky
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Nicki,
I am truly and deeply saddened, as I was for Vicki, that someone feels the need to spread hurtful and harmful rumors through PM's, emails and second-hand information. No good can ever come of gossiping. As for me, I'm grateful nobody PM's me with stuff like that. I choose to know and love the gals as I see them posting their love, support and compassion. Once or twice I've tried to jump in and calm the waters, only to have it backfire on me, so I've stayed out of things I don't have any knowledge of.
I knew you were hurt yesterday, as you had received some bad PM's too, but said nothing about it. I say COWARDS ALL ... if you have something to say about a friend on these boards ... write it right here. I was told a long time ago, don't say or write anything you wouldn't want plastered across the front page of the New York Times. STOP GOSSIPING! It's hurtful to the person on the receiving end and all the people nearby and creates collaterol damage.
We're all human, it's so easy to get caught up in it. Especially when our feelings have been hurt. Mine too. We all want to be loved and respected. Forgiving is easy ... forgetting isn't.
There are lots of us who are completely in the dark about all the PM's, IM's and emails flying around. I have a little idea of some of what is going on, and it makes me really sad. Like Nicki said, if any of you want to talk about me, please feel free to do so on an open forum, just don't PM or email me about it ... I don't want to hear it.
Nicki, You have been a wonderful friend to me from the get go. I am truly sorry people would say anything bad about your wonderful career. Gossip is pretty f__ed up.
My hope and prayer is that the gossiping can end. It's a much worse disease than our freakin' cancer. For heaven's sake, if you're upset with someone, unless they've killed your first born or kicked your dog, just let it go, but quit spreading rumors and slamming each other.
Well, I think I've jumped into the fray once again, will regret it and probably delete the whole post once I've thought this through.
love,
Bren
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(((((Nicki))))) again I am clueless about the dynamics that are being played out (more so than I even realized) but I agree why would someone even share that information with you when it is so hurtful?????? I really don't understand what is going on but do feel like there is some sort of conspiracy that is being played out in the circle.........Bren well said.......don't jump out I think your right......Shokk
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Not here too! Ignorance is bliss.......and that is where I am. I was just starting to feel comfortable here again and now I'm confused again. All I want is for all of us to be the nice Circle of Friends we have been for more than a year............I will never forward a pm, email or post that will hurt any of you. I very seldomly receive pm's.............that's okay with me.
We don't shun anyone who comes here, we welcome them. Of Course, some make friends with each other outside of the boards..............that's great!
Looks like I'll be reading more than posting again for awhile..........and that hurts me, as I love chatting with you all!
Hugs to all,
Neesie
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I am glad we are talking about this out in the open.
It is called cyber bullying.
It is hateful and cruel.
If there was no internet and a bunch of us got into a spat we may say in anger to another girl- "boy she is a real crumb- i don't like her at all" and the words would be spoken and then gone.
In the meantime, the spat is resolved and everyone is friends again and you no longer think that girl is a crumb but you spouted off in anger over the spat.
Everything is fine and you can move forward.
HOWEVER- with the internet you could have the same spat and write that someone is a crumb and send it in an email to someone else and it has the same meaning- you were upset at the time and you got it off your chest and that was that. Things then settle down and you work things out and you no longer think that your friend is a crumb and everything moves forward.
This is where the cyber bullying comes in. Someone SAVES everything you ever wrote- or better yet adds on to it- then emails your friend the email that you said she was a crumb in. It is MONTHS later, appropos of NOTHING, has nothing to do with anything going on currently and is simply sent TO HURT THE RECIPIENT. Nothing more.
The words are completely out of context- the event in question has long been forgotten- and the anger is long gone because you have worked everything out with your friend and moved forward. But what does that copied and saved email do? Make you completely paranoid and freaked out and HURT! It makes you think that people are talking about you at the moment and that there is some kind of big fight going on when in fact the fight was long forgotten.
I have been sent emails that someone wrote about me - about how much they hated me and thought I was responsible for everything from global warming to kidnapping the Lindberg baby. Instead of getting mad at the person who wrote those things months ago I took a good, long, hard look at WHO thought it was necessary to send me something so hateful just to hurt my feelings. It made my friendship with the person who had originally written the email STRONGER because I knew she was in a bad place when she wrote that stuff and I know that we all spout out in anger. BUT it gets twisted when it is WRITTEN then used against us later.
I say ENOUGH IS FREAKIN ENOUGH!
Let's END this cyber bullying and tell these "helpful" "friends" who send us this crap that with "friends" like them who needs enemies???
I have been told that I am the female equivilant of Darth Vader, that I am trying to destroy the wagon circle, that I am a liar, two faced, not to be "trusted", don't have cancer, want to rule the internet and have stock in Halliburton.
Well let me clear some things up:
1. I am not Darth Vader. I get claustrophobic and could never handle that outfit
2. I would never destroy the wagon circle. I tried post after post to bring peace back here again. I was being encouraged to try to delete it or change the opening of it and I flatly refused and was called all sorts of names for it. But damn- this place was started for ALL OF US. It is run by ALL OF US.
ALL OF US need it and have it always. And Vickie needs to come back here. She was a HUGE part of it.
3. Liar, two-faced and not to be trusted.... Well if you are going to try to hurt someone or BCO and I hear about it then yes, I am not to be trusted because I will protect those that I love. I am not two faced either- I have a forgiving nature and if being two-faced means that I can be in a spat with someone one day and then work it out and be friends with them again because I don't believe in harboring ill will then you can call me two faced.
As for lying? Don't know where I have - I have not lied that I have had cancer twice and those who say that I made that up need to get help.
4. I do not want to rule the internet. I love BCO and will always come here. I have my little site and it is fun. Big whoop. Everyone is welcome and it is not in competition or anything of the sort- that is like saying a red wagon is in competition with General Motors. PLEASE! Get a grip people!
5. No, I don't have stock in Halliburton. I don't have stock in anything but my freezer where you will find veal, chicken and beef stock. That is about it.
Nicki, you are not only a dear friend, but from what I have read about you it sounds like you are a wonderful nurse. How can anyone in cyberspace judge what kind of nurse you are? Vickie, how can anyone in cyberspace judge anything about your personal life?
We need to band together and put a stop to the crap. End the bullying. Tell the "helpful friends" that we don't want their "help" because we know all they are trying to do is hurt us.
Have I written stuff in fits of anger and chemo induced crankiness- you bet and I am ashamed and I apologize to anyone I may have hurt. Have I been sent stuff written about ME that was mean and written in a fit of anger? You bet. And I chose to forget it and move forward.
We've got one life. Ours have been shortened. We have come together here because we share a disease. We have shared more than that- we have shared our lives, our joys and our sorrows. It is called support and friendship.
I want everyone to just move forward and ignore the crap that is being sent to us because that is what it is- crap.
HUGE HUGS ALL THE WAY AROUND GUYS. WE NEED THEM TODAY.
The next time anyone gets sent a hateful email or a note from a "friend" I want you all to remember the words of Bob Dylan's Positively 4th Street, and then walk away, head held up high, away from the poison.
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Thanks G. I didn't understand about all that cyber stuff. I've only been cybering a few months. That makes a lot of sense.
PS - What's Halliburton?
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Well, Ladies, I'm having bi-lat surgery next Monday. Whatever side you're on, I could use a little hug, reassurance that I'll live through the surgery, be free of this cancer for a long, long time and hope for peace in the world and right here around this circle. Isn't that what this is about?
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Hi Shrink,
Hugs to you. I haven't had a mastectomy, but a lumpectomy, but lots of the gals here will be able to reassure you about the surgery. I can't do anything about world peace, I can't even control my three dogs. BUT we have Mazer, our circle donkey, who belongs to Amy. I'll see if we can get somebody to post his picture for you. He drives the magic carpet to take all the gals to their surgeries and tests and scans. So, we're going to get him to pick you up in PA, and we'll all be with you on Monday. We won't let anything bad happen to you. We will be be your side everyday between now and then and through all the days of your recovery.
Don't worry about a little bit of fussing going on here. Most of the gals don't know what's going on anyways. We sure won't let that get in the way of looking out for you and all the others who need prayers and support right now.
Keep posting ... I'll see what I can do about finding Mazer's picture. Madison might have one if I can't find Amy.
Lots of love to you,
Bren
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That was lovely, Bren. I feel better already.
Marian
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Shrink, Hi there-
Bren is right. Don't worry about any of this fuss because this is all being put to an end and we are moving forward here!
I had a bilateral in march.
I had immediate tissue expanders with alloDerm and will be getting implants when/if I am ever done with chemo.
I would be happy to help you with any questions you may have.
I stayed in overnight at the hospital and it really wasn't that bad.
It felt so good to get my cancer-filled breasts removed from my body. I felt so clean after the surgery- I can't explain it- but I did!
Hugs to you,
g
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Shrink,
I found the pic of Mazer! We're good to go!
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I'm with you Shrink! Hugs and prayers to you neighbor. I have to say I am clueless too and that probably is a good thing.Nicki and Vicki,you both have always been there for me and I thank you.I don't understand all the negativity either. We have to be there for one another.No one understands better then each of us how we feel. I have been feeling depressed and scared lately.Reading about all the sisters we have lost this month alone. We need to be strong for one another now not tear each other apart.I am thinking of you all and keeping those who need it in my prayers.
Take Care,
Joyce
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Whew! Felt good to get those feelings out. So many wise and comforting things said. This place is really about friendship, caring, and supporting each other. May it be a safe place for all to come!Shokk: OMG your post to Jackie brought tears to my eyes. Very good post - made me think of lots of things.
Slonedeb: Your so sweet. You know we are here with you. Having you in the middle of the circle and sending lots of love and warmth your way.
Bren: I have always felt connected to you. Thanks for the kind words and you said some might fine words too. We just need to stand strong and support each other. That is why we come here.
Neese: Things are good and dont you go anywhere. Im thinking about decorating the wagon circle for the Holidays! Festival of Lights? We need some cheering up and I know we could get creative.
Shrink: OMG that was a perfect post, thank you. I had a bilateral mastectomy with expanders/implants 2 years ago. I had never been under anesthesia before, so I was pretty nervous. I think the anticipation for me was the worst. Waiting til the day of surgery. Anyways, no problems with the anesthesia and I remember the first thing I thought when I woke up. "It's gone." We will be able to help you through this whole journey. Step by step. This is for you.
Joyce: Ignorance is bliss! Just know we are a wonderful group of friends and we are moving forward!
Gina: Whew! Great post and thank you for explaining what I think a few of us were feeling.
OK! Its dinner time. Have a big old pot of tomato sauce and angel hair spaghetti. Have homemade sausage that has been browned and cooking in the sauce all day. Beautiful salad and garlic bread. Of course fresh romano cheese to grate on top. Yummy!
Have a great evening.
Nicki
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Well it does indeed appear that things are getting back to normal in the circle.
(((Nicki)))...I have a pretty good idea of just how you felt...don't walk away...you know the words aren't true. You are my sunshine sister and I love ya.
Shrink...there are no sides...we are all on the same side...sisters against breast cancer! You will be ok on Monday and I will send all the hugs you can handle. If you have any questions you can feel free to ask..I will say that I was seriously freaked out about my bilateral...big time...but it was smooth sailing all the way. I was amazed! You can do this and we'll all be there holding your hand.
Do we still have our magic carpet?
I too was thinking of leaving and walking away and this is what I finally posted last night (or yesterday afternoon...who knows...chemo brain)after much thought and many dear people pushing me back into the board
I return...with my head held high (thank you dear Jasmine)...knowing that whatever bad is said about me isn't true and they are words that don't matter...I have all I need right here...right now.
I am kind hearted, giving, loving, niave, ditzy, smart, funny, a wee bit crazy, hormone deprived, scarred, burned and poisoned...but I am HERE!!! I am staying HERE!!! I am putting my rose colored glasses on and leaving them on for the rest of my life.
For those of you that dislike me, think that I am two faced, a fake, a liar...etc etc etc...you know what...I LOVE YOU TOO! I pray for you...I care about you and all you'd ever have to do is send me a message that you needed me and I'd be there. You know who you are...I know who you are...Its ok...I forgive...and as of this moment...I am forgetting.
With big hugs and lotsa love that is true and genuine
Vickie
True and genuine...thats me...thats all I can tell you.
Ummm...yeah...what is Halliburton?
bbl
Love and hugs
Vickie
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