TIME TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS GIRLS
Comments
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WOW leave for a few days and it takes hours to chatch up...an no note paper at work to take notes...lol....
AMY...I'll be right there, a flying round house kick to the jaw may be in order...just let me know....we are their bread & butter when will DR get it..we pay them....just like in a rest..if the steak isn't cooked we send it back...hmmmm
Nicki...Kit kat bars...be over to clean out the house....but keep up the exercising....good job....
Now for the dreaded exercise my DIL hate...so we call them "she hates me's"....sit down on florr feet out....grab your shoulders crossing your arms...lean back slightly and lift your feet off the floor and walk in the air....then cross your feet over top of each other in a scissors motion...and don't for get the wall push ups...
Liz...shaking my finger...lol... now you both do a couple of sets of " SHe hates me's"...
and did everyone go get their pedometers...10,000 steps
Tracey...alwys like the image of a snow man in a thong...lol..Liz's picture just enforced that...lol.
DEB..make sure evryone who just wants a card puts their addy on too, we don't expect cards from everyone but love to send them to any one who would like one....
to all I have missed sorry its hard to catch up at work...but Tgiving dinner is getting ready and I will set plates for anyone who wants dinner...hugs...
PS the son's closing...which we started in July...the sellers didnt want to up hold the contract...good well & spetic...which is req. in our county...snd would't close...hmmm...then they show up this weekend..and say ok we'll do it...duhh...we already gave up and sent the $$$ back to the bank....stupid people realy bug me...
Love MB....0 -
Hey CG'S , just wanted to stop in and let You All know I am thinking about You, and sending Healing thoughts and Prayers for You! I have never been so depressed in my life, don't know how or when to just get over, All the bullsh$t in my life lately!! I have been in this, REALLY Pissed off mood, mad at the world kinda thing, going through test's, getting ready for test's, family having Big Problems, Youngest Son, discharged from the Army, He is having a Very rough time dealing with it, my MIL had a pacemaker put in her heart, and then I feel SELFISH when i read how many of You are having a Hard time, and Still manage to get on with Your life, DEBC, I wish i could be like You and stop My very famous Pitty Party, and help others, I guess what i am saying is I am in the Darkest whole i have ever been in! even Mad at God, the Only one that truley loves me. Really need Your prayers Sisters- HELP! debbyfive
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Good Morning girls. Had a completely unproductive weekend. Spent most of it in front of the tube. I hate it when I do that. Have felt so discombuberated that I even turned down dinner out last night. That is so not me. Hubby was grand enough to go get pizza.
Nicki, yikes on the sweating. Can't be all nasty when we go to work. I have decided not to take the effexor. Actually read the label yesterday (duh!!) and discovered doc wants me to up it to 75mg starting tomorrow. Figure if I feel this crappy on 37.5mg upping it will only make it worse. And since I'm not dealing with emotional issues I guess I will just live with the flashes.
Happy Birthday to your hubby. And hugs for you and your brother. My dad is a functioning schisophrenic (sp?). When I was a kid it use to unnerve me. Now he is just entertaining in his old age. He has the best conversations with bugs and snakes.
Lynn, good for you son. Your pride in him shines thru your posts.
CherylG, thanks for all your work on the site.
DebC, I didn't think you were bragging. Helping others is what life is all about. Focusing on ourselves is what leads to depression. Your Banya sounds wonderful. Tho not the 45F water.
Sheri, I have regular pity parties. Do the woe is me thing for a day or two then kick myself in the butt and move on.
Round, AMEN
Jeannie, I waited 6 weeks on daughters couch for our last miracle. False labor, 4th baby, two hour drive. Didn't want to miss it. My back will never be the same but he was so worth the wait. Daughter has her munchkins at home. I am unofficial photographer of the events. Got lots of ewww pics that no one will ever see.
Brenda, I had my appendix out in October. Still not fully recovered. Laproscopic is still surgery and abdominal surgery is the pits. Glad your no longer in pain.
Vicki, two words...Season Tickets. Glad you and Nathaniel had a grand time. I'll come with you to drag daughter to the hospital.
Susan, the sleeping was a fluke. I've wasted a weeks worth of ambien which totally ticks me off.
Jeannette, I've been hinting for a treadmill for months. If Santa doesn't bring one I'm gonna have to get it myself.
Kristin, Happy Birthday to your baby. 7 is a good age. Glad he is feeling better.
Hi Madison. Hope your day is grand as well.
Off to clean up the camp site. If I don't return, I've been kidnapped by coyotes at the dumping grounds. Send out a posse before they eat me please.0 -
Deb5...as you know we will always keep you in our prayers and our hearts...
peace
MB0 -
goodness gracious. A whole new page while I was typing.
Colleen, glad you had a great time.
Theresa want me to come smack your pres?
MB that sounds like torture not exercise. Glad things are working out for your son.
Debby, I am praying for you hon. Had the same issue with my son. He was discharged (kicked out) of the Navy. Six months of homeless wandering brought him slightly to his senses. He is home now, just started a job last week. Think he is beginning to get it. Knows he had a good thing with the Navy and screwed it up all by his lonesome.
Sometimes it takes them a while to grow up so I am told.0 -
Deb5 - Sorry you are having such a hard time with everything. I do hope things will get just a little bit easier for you soon. You are in my thoughts.
Shirley - it seems that we all need "unproductive" weekends. Maybe its really not unproductive, but a way to recharge ourselves when we are just out of energy!
Baldeagle - I am not a coffee drinker - but I do love fresh warm bagels. Yummy. Thanks for the treats.
tgirl - hope you get the meeting with the president of your company.
cmb35 - glad you had a fun weekend.
newvickie - You've inspired me to take Miriam (my 8 year old) to a play - I need to check into tickets. She would just love the Nutcraker. Her class is doing Little Annie in drama class and she memorized all the lines for all the parts. She Tessie, one of the orphans.
AlaskaDeb - I love to hear of people helping others. You know, "bragging" isn't so bad, especially when you are sharing such good news. Keep sharing with us.
And all the other wonderful gals here, greetings from Denver.
The other day, one of my darling hubby's co-workers wished him a Happy Thanksgiving and told him that we really had a lot to be thankful for. You know I had not thought of it this way - neither did DH - he then said to me that we really did, because I am alive and not dead!!!! To tell you the truth I had never imagined myself this way these past 9 1/2 months (but I do worry about a re-occurance)- but it tells me how scared my DH was during all my treatments. I go back and forth wondering if I am really thankful or angry and depressed over this whole BC journey. Yes I am thankful that I survived all the diagnosis, treatments - double mastectomy, TAC chemo, rads, ooph and thankful that I am currently NEDS and thankful for this wonderful board. Yet it is just hitting me what all I have been through and it has been a nightmare. I have never asked "why me", but yet I just can't get out of this funk. I have been on 75mg Effexor for 12 days, and not sure that it is doing any good. I am thinking about weaning myself off of it. I have no sex drive (poor hubby) and just feel in a "funk" - maybe I need to go sit in the blue tent for a while. Thanksgiving is Thursday and it will just be 4 of us (20 year old daughter is staying at school in Chicago) and I don't even care about not having company or getting together with people. I usually love a big dinner with lots of people, but I'm just too worn out this year. I love to bake- I always have homemade cookies in the freezer, so I will bake a couple pies for dinner (pecan and pumpkin). Baking is kind of my R and R!!
Well, as always thanks for listening. Wishing everyone feel good days. And hoping your Thanksgiving holiday is everything you want it to be.0 -
Deb5,
We're here for you!! We are thinking about you and praying for you and with you.
You are not alone in this horrible journey!0 -
Nicki,
Decided to join the boards....the chat rooms just aren't the same! I know/remember a few chatters, but there are just so many new ones
I'm just about 1 week post-op and seem to be healing very well (luv them drugs---Keflex, Valium, and Percocet). See PS Wed. at 4pm; know I'm still swollen but apparently the 450cc high profile is a MUCH better match! Got 2 pretty deep dimples in the inframammary crease, but he told hubby those will start to unpucker. PS went in thru orig mast scar so was able to revise necrosis scar--lookin' good to me!
Have you been happy with your recon? Did I understand in posting you have to go thru chemo again ("and the fear of now starting a new chemo")? Wassup?!?!
LauraB0 -
good morning or i guess its afternoon now!
welcome laura! good to see you here!
i made a homemade chicken soup last night.....lol and just finished a bowl for breakfast so anyone not feeling good help yourself, it really turned out good! 
happy thanksgivin to all my american folk friends
i just was reading back on the posts and i cant believe i have been here since 03..... wow where has the time gone?
i did try to make a huge change in my eating and exercise habbits but seems like the last yr i really slipped back into my old habbits
the only thing i really stuck to was eating NO trans fats...i think i just got discouraged with no results and hearing since i am on tamoxafin it will be pretty imposible to lose the weight!
well dang it i am going to do it!!!!!!!
well i am off to have a nice relaxing bath then to get some housework done as i am back to work tomorrow morning.
then i have the lawyers appointment in golden for my daughter so hope this goes in our favor!!!
good day ladies and will check back later!
xxxxx
tracey0 -
Oh my...had to take notes.
Welcome LauraB...you will find that this is a wonderful circle to be part of. Ask and you shall receive here...no matter what.
Deb...ok...I hate winter and snow and cold but your descripton of Cook Island has me ready to jump on a plane and experience it! Looking forward to the Christmas card exchange...need some busy time to take my mind off useless worry.
Hugs to Kristin...your getting there...rest in the center and we'll take good care of you.
Susan...good to see you. Anything done with me is an adventure! Usually a misadventure!LOL I've gotten to a point where I'm afraid to leave my driveway!
Oh Karen...DO THE PLAY...You will both end up with a memory of a lifetime. I saw Beauty and the Beast on Broadway with my daughter in her senior year and it was simply wonderful! The Nutcracker was amazing and I'm so hoping to get a DVD of it as they were taping it as the play was going on. I have some pics that I will try to post tonight.
NS...where are you? Are you using Theresa's handcuffs on Bruce or has he got them on you...?
Colleen...my friends don't "get" this board. They don't understand why I'm here posting so much. It's hard to explain that this is my lifeline when they think they are my lifeline. But...they don't understand and all they can give me are "everything is going to be fine" answers...I know they mean well but it isn't the same as being here. My son totally understands (and he's only 7)...he will see me in a "funk" and say..."mommy, go talk to your ladies".
MB...tried to do a "she hates me" on my office floor this morning...nearly made a total fool of myself...glad I was the only one here!! I totally see why it's called what it is but I intend to conquer this one!
Debbyfive...come join me and Sheri in the blues tent...I've stolen the chocolate, vodka and champagne fountain so we will be in fine shape in no time at all. Sending prayers your way.
Jeannie...hope that baby hurries up and gets here before the anticipation gets the best of you!
Shirley...my son is so hooked on the theater now...season tickets are a wonderful idea...maybe next year. You can come right along to Florida with me to drag my daughter to the hospital if need be!
HMMMM...shel...are we having some fun! Certainly hope so!
Hugs to Mena and anyone else who needs one.
Back to work for me.
Love
Vickie
Think I may talk to my doctor about Effexor...really think I need something and it looks like it's the drug of choice around here.0 -
A woman was walking down the street when she was
accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her
for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten
dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it
instead of dinner?"
"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless
woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying
food?" the woman asked
"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman
said. " I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of
food?" the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't
had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the
money. Ins tead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and
myself tonight.
The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband
be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell
pretty disgusting."
The woman replied,"That's okay. It's important for
him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair
appointments and wine."0 -
Laura, the chatroom is not the same as it used to be. It is still had a great place to be tho. Sadly lots of new ladies every week. They need us oldies to get them thru the beginnings.
Tracey, I love chicken soup.
Vicki, I'll be in Orlando on the 29th. Just tell me where to hook up the tow hitch.
Cy..hahahahahhahahahahha0 -
Cheryl - great story!!!!
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OH Shirley....I soooo wish I could be in Orlando on the 29th. I would actually love to get plane tickets and fly out on Wednesday night and back Sunday morning of this week and surprise her. I thought about doing it and calling her from the Orlando airport to pick me up!!!
Laura...I haven't been in the chat room in forever...goes too fast for me and I get lost! The new girls entering there really do need our help though...maybe I'll try it again.
Spaghetti and garlic bread with cheese and corn on the cob for dinner...all welcome!
It's snowing here again...geez...I'm going to go to California with my flip flops and join Lini...oh Lini...where are you?
Later ladies
Vickie0 -
Hi my dear friends.
My boils are getting better the ones on my leg I had a total of 5 are drying up and my heal is getting better,but it still hurts to wear shoes.I never have had something hurt so bad as the one on my heal does.
I am going to wait until next week when things calm down a little and go wig shopping.I am going to need to soon.My hair keeps getting thinner.It sucks this is the 3 rd time I have lost my hair.Not fare and it was so curley.Oh well maybe next time it comes back it will have even more curls.that would be wonderful.
All is quiet with the dh,Except t he other night I told him I couldnt hardly stand to look at him anymore and why didnt he just leave.Well he dosent want to have to live up to leaving his wife who has ca although he could care less.
How is everyones weather? It actually snowed here this morning.It didnt stick but it was pretty coming down.
Thats all for now,dont want to be forgotten as you all are my rock and my shoulders out there.
Take care all my friends.0 -
Haven't posted the last few days, i have been on to try and keep up with what's happening in the circle.
Wow! I saw 96 posts to the circle map! I think there are only about 5 US sates not represented!
It's been a busy weekend. Hubby started the painting in the front room on Friday. We finished it on Sat. then I helpd my youngest one move some of her stuff to her new house. Can't beleive she's paying $1500 in rent! Yikes!
At least there are 4 of them sharing the rent!
Sunday did the grocery shoping for my MIL and then drove my sister to Portland. My sister drive long haul and they had to fix her truck in Portland so I had to take her back to get it. Other than yucky rainy weather and some patches of fog you could hardly see 10 feet in front of you the trip was a nice one.
I stayed home today as I was just exhausted. I had to call the Gyn today cause I started bleeding real heavy, which they were surprised that it started now rather than right after the DNC. But they think it will be OK as long as it doesn't last to many days. I go back to see them next week.
I had to take Scooter our mancoon to the vet. they think he may have been hit by a car and injured his back leg. I won't get him back til tomorrow and it looks like it may cost me about $500 for the vet bill. Darn cat I can't afford that right now!
listening to Eric Clapton sing the Blues! And the rain is still coming down in buckets!
I know there were some posts I wanted to commet on but I didn't take notes! Darn Chemo/rad brain!
My love hugs and prayers to everyone!0 -
OMG girls - can't keep up with all of you. Just wanted to say I think about y'all and pray for the CGs daily. If you're gone for a day you miss so much. Hope everyone is moving to the outer circle. Welcome to the new CGs n the center. My heart is with you.
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OMG, We are up to 100 circle girls! Wow we rock!
Jeannette0 -
Hey it looks like I have some stars to add. woohoo!!
I just can't keep up with ya'll!
s.0 -
You know I just look at all the girls who are in this circle now and it makes me all verklempt.
I remember the day I started the Circle, and it wasn't all that long ago! We were kind of down on the boards, dear sisters were being faced with new diagnoses and hard news. I was upset by the Beast being able to gain a foothold with ANY of my sisters.
So I just thought I would start the Circle to comfort and get us through that rough time.
NOW look at us! Look how big we are- we stretch for miles and miles and miles!
You can come and hang out by the fire, you can stay close in the inner circle when you are feeling afraid and lonely, you can have fun in the specially designated wagons we have built, you can ride the range, visit the corral and laugh at Distorted Humor's antics, and you always have your sisters, close by, tending the fire, in the cook tent, filling the fountains, and holding you close. When you lie in bed trying to fall asleep you can hear the laughter and whispering, and the sounds of the forest and the animals in the corral, when you are lying in an MRI you can imagine those sounds until you can come back here again.... what a comforting and loving place we have built.
I know what I am going to be Thankful for this Thanksgiving.
All of you.
Love you Circle Girls!0 -
NS you have truly given us a blessing in starting this circle! It has given me a place I can come to a feel a part of a place with new friends and family! Thank you from my whole being!
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I just had to share this with all of you!
NIGHT WATCH------
A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. "Your son is
here," she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times
before the patient's eyes opened. Heavily sedated because of the pain of
his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside
the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand.
The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man's limp ones,
squeezing a message of love and encouragement.
The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All
through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward,
holding the old man's hand and offering him words of love and strength.
Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest
awhile.
He refused. Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious
of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen
tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the
cries and moans of the other patients.
Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said
nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night. Along towards
dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had
been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do,
he waited.
Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the
Marine interrupted her.
"Who was that man?" he asked.
The nurse was startled, "He was your father," she answered.
"No, he wasn't," the Marine replied. "I never saw him before in my life."
"Then why didn't you say something when I took you to him?"
"I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his
son, and his son just wasn't here. When I realized that he was too sick to
tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed
"
The next time someone needs you ... just be there. Stay.
We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.
We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.0 -
Just came in to say night night to everyone.
My airforce daughter just came in on leave so we have been busy on the homefront.
Take care until tomorrow.0 -
can anyone tell me how not to love somebody anymore??????
or how long it takes to stop loving an asshole?????
please!!!!!!
i'm not doing well tonight,, and i have so much other stuff to worry about that i'm drowning! i need "huge help" and reinforcements right now........anybody? please get me back to where i was a few weeks ago.......i need a BUNCH OF KICKASS HELP.......little hottie neighbour isn't enough......i'm struggling, and i friggin hate it! HELP PLEASE!!!!!!!0 -
Hi Everyone
Just stopped in to see how our map was doing ... WOW! 102 already!! I upgraded the map service so if you zoom in you can go up to 8x now. Some girls may want to delete their entry and re-position themselves with the bigger zoom .... they are sitting in the ocean or in the wrong country/state/province
It's heartwarming to see the interest everyone has in the map... but sad to see how many of us there are.
NS ... hope you don't mind but I would like to include some of your recent comments about starting the Circle and what it stands for to the "history of the Circle Map" on the site??
Well, got to go get some zzzz's. Helping to prepare for a big symposium on Wednesday. Will catch up after that
I think of you all everyday .... hugs to all who need it
Cheers
CherylG0 -
I guess I am checking in late and another day has started. I do hope we have some sunshine tomorrow, think I need it to push me out of the blues tent.
NS just saw your post about when you started the Wagon Circle. I remember it well and was one of the early posters. There were so many newly diagnosed people and it seemed so many that were hearing news of mets that it was just getting very difficult to handle. Thank you for starting this thread and giving us a place to share our feelings and the daily events in our life, our family and friends lives. I don't post as often but I still come and read and the need for this circle continues. BCO should be proud that you started such a good thing!!!!!!!
Alaska Deb. Do you know how wonderful you make Alaska sound? I was thinking earlier today that you need to get a package together and offer it for folks to come see and experience some of the things that you have described to us. Thanks to you, I hope someday to vist.
Jeanette, good luck with the gallbladder surgery on Dec. 1st. I am just glad that the pain I was having is gone; it was worth having the surgery. Maybe it is just me and my body has been through much since Nov. 2004 but a week hasn't been enough for me to get back on my feet.
Madison, enjoy your daughter. Amy, you having a better day? Shel, you have come a long way; you will have days it will all come crashing down again and then it will get better. Many of us have walked in your shoes. DebbieFive, Robin, good to hear from you and sorry that you are still having some hard days. Cheryl loved the story you posted. Nicki, you doing curves? To everyone, I haven't called by name: hoping you have a wonderful day.
I am going to stay by the fire for awhile to keep the fire going as it is really very chilly tonight. Noticed the girls have their flannel PJ's on with thick socks too. Saw the extra blankets and some had the heavy quilts their grandmothers made; the kind that if you put two over you, you are plastered in one position all night. There was lots of recipe exchange going on earlier and lots of plans being shared too. Some had some cross stitch and knitting out working on those Christmas gifts. Quiet now. In the stillness, we have time to think back about were we were last year this time. Oh, we have come far but the scars and the fears are so close to the surface and sometimes we still become overwhelmed by all that we have faced. Here in the circle, the fire is warm and the hearts of the women are warm and welcoming too. May the warmth of this fire continue to burn for all the new sisters that find their way here; may all who need the warm embrace of an understanding sister, always feel compassion, understanding and the hand of friendship.
Sleep well, dear sisters.
Blessings, Brenda0 -
Oh Shel.... You are faced with great challenges, but girl...you are up to it. Reach inside yourself and find the love you have for yourself. THAT is the love you need right now. Hold fast to your future. It is out there waiting for you. It will not always look this dark.
Take care of you. Suround yourself with people who make your life brighter.
I can't tell you how to "unlove" someone. I don't know if you can turn emotions off. I only know that every day we are all faced with many choices. When I get in a tough spot I never try and think more than one choice ahead, and I try and make every choice as good as I can.
I wish there was more I could do. Cyber hugs seem pretty weak some times...but we really are here for you.
Hugs,
Deb C.0 -
Good Morning Everyone: Im woke up late, but here I am. Hoping I will be able to get to everyones post. Mild weather in the Chicago area of the circle. Meaning temps are above normal. Gonna be in the 50's. Which is good for us. Someone in my neighborhood got a wood burning stove for the outside. He was burning leaves last night. I forgot how much I enjoy that scent in the air during fall. And I cant believe it, but my snap dragons are still blooming! What a hearty plant.
Colleen: The outing with your friends, it sounds like you had alot of fun. Glad you got to go this year. No one "gets" or understands why I come to this wonderful place everyday. They all think Im nuts! Its hard to explain to someone how much support. But, I know for myself, its hard to miss a day thats for sure.
Tgir: What do you mean never watch football again? It sure was a tough break on the Eagles - cant believe McNabb is gone for the Season. My dream came true. The colts lost and the Bears won. I swear these holidays put us in a funky mood. I have to go to a dinner tonight with my brother and I am already dreading. And I dont have any excuses to get out of this one.
Jeanette: I saw you on the map. My goodness you are almost in Alaska near DebC!
PurpleMB: Your exercise sounds like torture. Still havent gotten myself a pedometer. Maybe next week. This week is shot! And work - its meetings meetings meetings. All Mandatory. Im their clinical marketing person, so I need to be out and about getting referrals and not sitting in on all these mandatory meetings. Its making me crazy.
Debbyfive: Glad you stopped and posted. We all think about you alot. Sorry for the "darkest hole" sounds like depression. You have been through so much, you do indeed have a right to feel sorry for yourself. But I do believe the dark cloud above your head will pass soon. So hang in there.
Sherloc: I did basically the same thing this week-end. Watched TV and worked on my crafts. Not very productive. Your note about your dad made me laugh. Yep, my brother is as bad as ya get. Paranoid schizophrenia. Thinks everyone is fromt he mob and out to get him. And when he is not on his medication, he has wonderful conversations with himself! But at least, we found the intermediate care facility for him. He is safe there. Its funny cause I used to be the DON there. So I know alot of the residents that are still living there. Tonight is gonna be interesting to say the least. Im glad you stopped the Effexor. The more you told us about your symptoms, the more concerned I was that it wasnt the right medication for you. But I wouldnt give up. Like I said, I hit gold on the 3rd try. Since then Lexapro has been my friend.
Karen: Hi! Im sort of feeling the same way as you. Im very thankful this year. Last year I was getting chemo, and was bald, and didnt enjoy any of the Holidays much. So Im thankful to be here for a second Thanksgiving. But sometimes Im angry. I have lost the old Nicki. I have never asked "why me" either. But having to go through this whole journey stinks. It has certainly changed our lives.
LauraB: Oh my goodness. So good to see you my "old" friend. So what surgery did you have? Exchange? To be honest, the reconstruction came out a whole lot different than I imagined. I thought I would have "perfect" boobs only bigger? Now isnt that silly. After a bil. mast? Anyways, I look good in a bathing suit, just look like two knobs when Im naked. I have decided enough is enough. So Im not gonna get nips. No more chemo for me. Everything is going well. What I remember most when I first met you was you recovering at home from original surgery and your husband went shopping. Brought you home cheetos and you just about jumped out of your chair in excitement. Im glad you have come to the boards. Much easier way to talk to each other. I just dont have the time to go ont he chat anymore. So good to see you
Tracey: Oh my 2003? You are an oldie but goodie.
Vickie: Ask you doctor about an antidepressant. I couldnt take Effexor or Zoloft. Then like I said Lexapro became my friend. But do ask about something. It does help.
Cthompson: What a great story. Thanks for my early morning laugh. Im due for a manicure and pedicure!!
Oh my goodness. There are still so many posts to read. I only had 10 minutes left! Hope I get to all of you.
Robin: I cant imagine having a boil on my heel. Had to hurt like heck. And losing your hair for the 3rd time really stinks!! In fact, I cant imagine it - thats why I say you are so strong and such a good role model for many of us. As far as you husband. I dont know what is worse. Leaving someone with bc, or just being mean and uncaring to someone with bc. I think I would rather he leave - but oh my you dont need that added stress now. Keep hanging in there! Maybe have some fun and get 2 or 3 wigs. Different styles. Good luck and hugs.
Christine, Madison, Cheryl, Brenda, DebC and NS - Im running out of time. Just saying hi and I will catch up with you all later.
Shel: This cant be an easy time and you dont just stop loving someone! Hang in there. We all care about you and will help you through this.
OK! Im late. Im late, for a very important date - work that is. Gotta go. Wish me luck at the dinner tonight. I will be taking a xanax about 1/2 hour before I leave. Hope you all have a great day.
Nicki0 -
Nicki,
2nd exchange if ya wanna call it that. Had a 360cc round saline swapped for expander 3/28/06; even after months of waiting to "settle" I just wasn't even enough with the lifted side (couldn't tell in a bra, though cleavage was off-center, and I could looking down at myself---WHEN I wanted to look). I still wonder...if they expanded to 530cc why only the original 360cc but who would've guessed the pocket he created (plus my chest muscle) would flatten me out that much. Anyway, the high profile saline and the crease he created (ouch!) seem to have done the trick; go to get stitches out tomorrow at 4pm (just think...they untie me in time for me to tie up a turkey!) Anyway, best news was NED on chest xray and bone scan, so may just go thru with the nip and tatooing in Feb (tho' we switch insurance companies next year from Aetna to Blue Cross--THAT oughta be interesting, and a new deductible to reach again! 
)
Having Ray's family over for Thanksgiving, so will try and do what I can but no cleaning toilets this time----where are those pool boys when I need 'em!?
LauraB
0 -
Brenda---no one writes they way you do----so glad to see you back! The images you make in my imagination are always so real and colorful.
Shel---many of us have been where you are right now. All I can tell you is to ask yourself what, exactly, are you missing when you feel this way? It's a reality check if you are honest with yourself. My ex was a cheater, a liar and an abuser and I still had to remind myself often. It's the devil you do know. Is he trying to blame you? Remember that a peerson's need to blame is directly proportional to their sense of guilt. Try to focus on what your life will be like when it is yours once again. I know---it's so hard but it's so worth it. Please PM me if you want to talk more.
I just bopped in to read and not talk this morning so I'm off to the races. Packed a baby suitcase yesterday so Sunshine can make an apppearance any time now----never mind if my daughter and SIL are ready! (Vickie---pls send me a phone number for you since I will be in Ithaca. I know you sent it once before but I lost it.)
Jeannie0
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