Come join others currently navigating treatment in our weekly Zoom Meetup! Register here: Tuesdays, 1pm ET.
Fill Out Your Profile to share more about you. Learn more...

Anyone on just Taxotere and Cytoxan?

Options
16791112276

Comments

  • KathyL
    KathyL Member Posts: 109
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Hi girls!  Hope everyone has a good day.

    Trina:  Will be very interested to hear how round 3 goes for you (well I hope).  Lots say that round is better than #2.  And the TTO did help dry up an emerging zit I noticed last night.  Yay!  Thanks! Makes sense about the FNs, too by the way-- lots of fiber.  I never thought of it though.  Think I'll add it to the grocery list before chemo-brain takes it away!

    GuitarGRL:  I'll bet the fatigue is still from chemo tx.  I hear it's cumulative (though I don't know what #tx you're on or when you had your last one).  Check for fever, of course, and call right away if you have one.  If sx don't seem to get better over the week, or they seem to get worse-- that's when I was told to call my onc.  It's their job to figure it out.. and I say better to be safe than sorry. 

    Speaking of which... anyone notice their heart pounding from time to time?  I'll just be sitting there doing nothing, and I'll feel it or I'll feel my pulse beating (like in my head).  It's not painful, but is just weird. 

  • WellWater
    WellWater Member Posts: 4,524
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Good Morning:

    GuitarGal:  I would call the onc's office and speak with the nurse anytime I felt something wasn't right.  My onc nurses encourage calls - they know that everyone is different and if there is an issue they can help with, that's what they are there for.  Don't feel as tho you're bothering someone.....this is the first time you're going thru this and the chemo is pretty serious stuff. 

    If the Compazine doesn't take care of your nausea, there are other things they can give you.  Are you eating?  I was told eating would control my fatigue and nausea, that no matter how queasy I felt I HAD to eat. 

    If you are still horizontal today, call you onc's office.

  • cc01
    cc01 Member Posts: 9
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Hi girls, my first treatment on friday completely wiped me out. I felt so tired and horrible plus I got a severe case of thrush. Each day I felt worse and Monday was just awful. I saw the onc monday for my neupagen shot and got diflucan for the thrush. I feel ever so slightly better today so will I gradually feel better each day now? I never felt so wiped out and weak as I did saturday,sunday and monday. I also craved things like raisin toast which I usually do not eat. After sunday I stopped the miralax and senakot ds because they were actually upsetting my stomach. I took pepcid and zofran a couple times after finishing my Emend on Sunday. Today all I feel like eating is soup and toast my eating habits are so off from my normal routine. Things I usually love I can not even look at.

  • wrsmith2x
    wrsmith2x Member Posts: 127
    edited February 2008
    Options

    CC01 - it affects us all so differently.  I am so sorry that you are tired.  But it will pass - each day will get better.  Hang in there. And the weird cravings - welcome to the club.  I am craving fruit and milkshakes of all things.

    And if you have no pain with the Neupogen shots then you are lucky.  They put me in the bed and I have to stay pumped up on Darvocet all day.  Sending good thoughts your way - and to the rest of you ladies also!!!

    Wendy

  • chj127
    chj127 Member Posts: 146
    edited February 2008
    Options

    GuitarGal - I agree with the others.  I have called the onco nurses many times when I don't know if what I'm experiencing is "normal".  That's their job, to let you know.  Don't be afraid to call them.  They have probably heard it all.

    And cc01 - if you had treatment on Friday, then it sounds like what you are experiencing is pretty normal.  Wiped out & weak are pretty typical, as are weird food cravings.  Funny, I bought raisin bread yesterday, too, as I had a craving for it.  Just remember to continue to eat, and make sure you get a LOT to drink.  A number of us have had dehydration issues.

    I had my 2nd  tx yesterday.  My counts were good, and the infusion was uneventful (which is good).  I drove myself this morning for my first Neulasta shot, and hope it will ward off some of the problems I had last time.  Wow, it's always an adventure isn't it?  I'm feeling relatively decent today.  Guess we'll see how long that lasts.

    Hope you are all doing well today!

    CHJ 

  • chj127
    chj127 Member Posts: 146
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Hey Wendy!  We must have been posting at the same time.  Haven't seen you in a while, and hope you are OK.  When is your next tx?  I've lost track of your schedule.

    Take care!

    CHJ 

  • KathyL
    KathyL Member Posts: 109
    edited February 2008
    Options

    cc01:  Yeah, that sounds normal.. like everyone else said.  Each day does seem to get better, and the appetite will return eventually.  My worst days seem to be day 3-5 (infusion day is day 1).  Just remember the fluids.  And a mouthrinse to ward off sores on top of the thrush!  Food cravings:  I survive on soup and toast on my bad days, and ginger ale (what a combo!).

  • cc01
    cc01 Member Posts: 9
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Thanks for the encouragement I am off to get my 2nd Neupagen shot today. Yesterdays shot made me achy but I took Tylenol only once so I hope the 2nd shot is about the same. I am cutting my hair Friday and I am so scared. I have 25 inches of hair and I love my long hair! I am hoping my hair comes in straight initially like my mom's did when she went through this. I plan to get hair extensions as soon as possible. Did anyone else do that? If so how long was your hair before you could do extentions?

  • trumpet84
    trumpet84 Member Posts: 22
    edited February 2008
    Options
    Hi Everyone!  I start my regimen of taxotere & cytoxan (also 4 rounds) in less than 2 weeks... does anyone have any advice on how to get prepared (mentally/physically)?  Prayer is always at the top of my "To Do" list Smile  Thanks a bunch! 
  • wrsmith2x
    wrsmith2x Member Posts: 127
    edited February 2008
    Options

    CHJ!!!  Where have you been?  I've been worried about you!  Glad to hear that you are feeling a OK today.  If you had chemo yesterday when do you get the fatigue?  Or do you?  And where's PALady too?!

    Next chemo for me is this Friday.  This is my good week.......just in time for poisoning #3!  WooHoo!!

    I'm sorry - am just in a pissy mood today - work related.  Hope you are well.  Thanks for wondering about me.  I'm still here!

    Here and kicking!!!

    Take it easy.

    Wendy

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,615
    edited February 2008
    Options

    cc01, I cut my hair short yesterday.  Had my "hair guy" buzz it really short.  My husband went with me and we had fun with it and took lots of pictures.  It's kind of weird, but I actually find it to be very liberating!  My scalp feels kind of tight today, but I've been wearing a cute beret type hat I found at the local mall and have been getting lots of compliments as I'm out and about.

    If you can, relax and have fun with it.  This is your one chance to try something totally new!

    Trumpet - yep, prayer is the right at the top of my "to do" list, also.  I found that the anticipation was much worse than the actual chemo.  I had all my meds ready, "just in case", but actually only needed some Tylenol Extra Strength for the aches that came around days 3-6.  I had no nausea (this is now day 14). 

    Constipation is an issue, but with "Smooth Move Tea" and Miralax, I'm doing OK.

    Sleep is better when I take an Ativan.  I've not been anxious, but just was not able to sleep for more than an hour at a time. The Ativan helps me sleep through the night.

    Don't forget to drink LOTS of water (flavored if you prefer), eat what sounds good to you and don't be afraid to tell people you're tired when you need to rest.  This is not the time to be a Super Hero.

    Let us know how it goes for you - we're all in this together!

    Hugs,

    Sunshine

  • guitarGrl
    guitarGrl Member Posts: 150
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Ok. Am I the only one looking forward to the time when we won't need to post to this thread ...



    Sunshine - glad you had fun cutting your hair - I've had so many complements since I've done that I'm thinking of leaving it short when it starts to grow back.



    chj - good news that you can drive yourself to tx. One of the things I hate is feeling useless.



    guggerty -I went to the grocery store today looking for things that might not taste like cardboard. Bought lots of juices since I can't stand the taste of water right now. Amazing the food that appeals - I bought my childhood comfort food of macaroni & cheese made with velveeta. Can't help it, nothing else sounds appetizing. Realizing that lack of food will definitely contribute to feeling weak.



    susan



  • chj127
    chj127 Member Posts: 146
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Wendy - my experience has been that I feel OK the day of, and the day after chemo, then I go underground for 2-3 days.  But I had lots of other stuff going on the last cycle (dehydration on day 4, then white counts had me way down on day 10).  I'm hoping I get away with just a few days of downtime for the next 3 weeks.  But the Neulasta is the wild card this time, I don't know how it will affect me.  I'm hoping I get away with light se's.

    Sunshine, welcome to the bald club!  You should post a picture.  :)

    Trumpet - welcome!  You can probably get a lot of good info by reading back through everyone's posts in here.  Yes, prayer is good!  Sunshine also has lots of good suggestions.  Everyone reacts differently.  I got all weirded out a couple of times because of some horror stories I had read, so take what you read with a grain of salt.  For instance, I was petrified of getting a port, even though I knew I'd need it, because of some of the "worst case" stories I read.  Well, I love, love, love my port!! It's the best thing ever.   

    Anyway, yes, have lots of drinks on hand, and pick your favorite laxative (Senokot-S, Miralax, whatever) and Tylenol, and if you have Ativan, lots of people like that for the anxiety and to help sleep.  I haven't used it much, though.  I do like to pop a Tylenol PM every now and then as the steroids sometime keep me from sleeping well.

    You'll quickly figure out what works for you.  Everyone seems to have different food cravings, and times when food just doesn't taste good.  But you do need to eat to keep your strength whether you want to or not!  And don't forget to drink a LOT.

    Hope it goes well for you!

    CHJ 

  • WellWater
    WellWater Member Posts: 4,524
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Trumpet:  Hi and welcome.....if you go back to the beginning of this thread you will probably pick up a few tips.  I can tell you that the anticipation is much worse than the actuality.  Everyone is different so you may experience s/e's that are common to one or none.  I do suggest you go to the pharmacy and pick up a bottle of Prevention Mouthwash designed specially for the oncology patient - if your pharm doesn't carry is go to www.preventionlab.com.  I developed thrush after my 1st tx but since using this after my 2nd tx, my mouth has been fine.  I think most of us have experienced constipation so you'll need to get a few things to help that along - I like Walgreen brand Easy Lax, some on here prefer Miralax - again it's what works for you.  You will need to drink lots of water, that is a very important thing.  Your oncology nurses will give you some good tips and the rest you'll find on here.

    Guitar:  Good, I'm glad you're trying to eat......I did not experience loss of taste buds so everything still tastes good and with no nausea, eating has not been difficult for me.  My fatigue has been minimal and I'm sure it's due to my ability to keep eating (and eating and eating).  Keep trying different things and try to force yourself even when you don't feel like it.  The health food store may have some things that are high in calories and you only have to eat a small amount to get them. 

    Wendy:  You and I are on the same schedule.  Interesting note, I talked to my clinical nurse today and she said my flu-like symptoms are from chemo and NOT from the Neulasta shot even tho they don't appear until the night after my shot.  She said the bone aches that appear 6 days after and out are usually due to Neulasta but everything else is chemo related.  And here I was blaming the Neulasta for it all.  Anyone else hear this?

    ((hugs)) Trina

  • PAlady
    PAlady Member Posts: 56
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Wow - it has taken me almost an hour to catch up from my last post! Sounds like everyone is doing pretty well or at least on the mend.

    cc01 & Guitargirl - as Wendy said we are all so different. I have my infusions on Friday also. I have not had too much fatigue through either of my first treatments. I usually feel alright Saturday and Sunday and then I feel like crap on Monday and Tuesday.

    guggerty - great idea on the Macy's. I stopped the other day and the lady did my brows with a pencil (and of course sold me one!) which will be great for the thinning part but I am sure it will look just stupid when/if I have no brows. I am trying not to rub my eyebrows cause I don't want that nightmare of rubbing them all of in one swoop!  I have the same dream as you for Friday - here's hoping it is easier than #2 for both of us! (I think Wendy is on #3 also on Friday).

    Trumpet - welcome to the group! As someone said the anticipation is much worse than the actual infusion. My biggest problem the first time around was the constipation. If you can get a head start on that it may help.

    Leesa - Sorry you have to be going through this again. Thanks for the eyebrow tips. Not sure if I would go for the henna thing, but that sight looks interesting. As Wendy said, I would like more info on your recurrence too, if you don't mind sharing. Mine was close to the chest wall and and 1st surgeon wanted me to do chemo first, but my 2nd opinion didn't feel it was into the wall and it wasn't so I was glad I did it the way I did, but  who knows.

    Wendy - thanks for asking. One of my kids was sick again this week and just been busy, I guess. I told them I think they have a conspiracy against me.  Thankfully I haven't gotten sick through all of this. I got to see Robin Roberts ( it is on their website for anyone who wants to see it).  It made me tear up watching it. I think she looks beautiful bald. I read your blog earlier today and I am with you on the eye thing. For about two weeks I feel like my eyes look really different. Can't really put my finger on it, but it's almost as if they are empty or dull. I keep thinking makeup will help but it doesn't. Hopefully the rest of your day goes a little better!

    Leyden - thanks for the tips. I found my lump on 10/9/07. You are quite a bit ahead of me, though.

    Kathy - I haven't really had the heart pounding through all of this. I have had it in the past when I am anxious, though.

    chj - So glad you are feeling better and that you got to get your treatment yesterday.

    Sunshine - I take the Dexemethisone (sp?) also. My sleep problems seem to be I can get to sleep fine, a bit earlier than before dx, but I wake up anywhere from 4 to 6 hours after falling asleep and it literally takes me hours to get back to sleep.

    My weight was crazy this week. I was up 5 pounds in the past 5 days. I could tell I was puffy on Sunday and Monday (the high points) and lost almost 3 pounds today. I know the taxotere can cause water retention, but find it odd it would be this far out.  As far as food craving I always have them the first week. I have been eating low carb for a few years, yet that is all I crave the first week (as well as salt). I think last round I had french fries three times in two days and I haven't had them at all in about three years!

    I have very little of my dark hairs left, and keep finding them in my sleep cap, but my gray hairs keep growing it seems. My kids were laughing last night cause they could feel them through my scarf!

    I have also had extremely dry skin on my face and scalp. I have tried a few different lotions and think I may have it under control. No problems with pimples, though.

    Have a great rest of the day everyone!

  • PAlady
    PAlady Member Posts: 56
    edited February 2008
    Options

    guggerty - We were posting at the same time. I would tend to agree with that. I don't get my shot until Monday and my bone pains start Thursday night into Friday.  By the time I go in for my shot on Monday I already feel bad. As a matter of fact with my first one, I just started bawling when I was talking to the nurse while she was giving me the Neulasta shot cause I just felt so bad and overwhelmed.

  • KathyL
    KathyL Member Posts: 109
    edited February 2008
    Options

    cc01:  Wow!  25" of hair!  That's amazing.  Are you going to cut it short first?  Maybe you could donate some to Locks of Love. They would love it.  Don't know about extensions.  I think you have to be gentle on your new hair when it comes in as it can be brittle from chemo.

    Hi Trumpet, and welcome!  Everyone's already given you great advice.  Don't know that I have much to add.  Remember nail care (tea tree oil, etc.) and mouth care (I like Biotene mouthwash, and the oncs like us to use a baking soda rinse: 1 tsp b.soda to 8 oz water, swish 4-6 times/day; I haven't had a mouth sore yet on this regimen).  Fluids!  And yes, some form of laxative.  I swear by miralax as senna-S did nothing for me.  Also stock up on drinks, soups, bland foods (like pretzels or crackers), yogurt.

    PALady: I noticed all my darker head hairs are gone, too.  My blonder/lighter ones remain though.  I've heard that hair loses its pigment from chemo and when it grows back in the hair is first white/gray (or blonde?) and then gets its color.

  • trumpet84
    trumpet84 Member Posts: 22
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Sunshine - Yes, anticipation is killing me!  I am on some heavy pain meds already from a previous surgery from last year, on Miralax as a result of the meds, and on a sleep aid to get me thru the night.  Thanks for the info and support!

    CHJ - I have read back through and found some great info!  Thank you!  I like water and hopefully the cravings will be something I really like already.

    guggerty - As a matter of fact, I am getting dental work completed (root canal/crown) before starting up.  He gave me some mouthwash to use beginning 2-3 days prior to the first injection.  I cannot remember the name of it, but he says he has had great success with it.

    PAlady - Thank you! Hopefully the Miralax will do the trick for me!

    KathyL - I do need to do a grocery list!  Thank You!!

    Have a great evening everyone! Blessings,

    Trumpet84

  • WellWater
    WellWater Member Posts: 4,524
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Good Morning:

    PA -   Don't you just hate it when you "lose" it at an appt?  I felt like an idiot when I fell apart at the onc's office on my 2nd visit.  I've been fine since then, I guess sometimes we just need a good cry and it doesn't matter where we are!  I'm going to stop at Macy's next week and see about getting some make up tips from someone there.

    This Friday is my 3rd tx - hip, hip hooray.  I called my clinical nurse yesterday to inquire about when I would be starting radiation and she said the 31st of March since my last chemo will be the 7th.  We're trying to figure out a week between treatments to fly out to AZ to visit some friends and family.  My DH and I need a little break not only from this but from the winter we've been having.

    Trumpet:  What kind of surgery did you have last year that has you still on pain medications?  

    The hair on my legs is still growing???  Not quickly but there is a definite stubble....the stubble on my head is slowly going white - ugh.  I know SClark mentioned that she used a bronzer on her head for color but I'm afraid it'll turn the stubble orange...wouldn't that be a hoot.

    Hope everyone has a good day......

  • trumpet84
    trumpet84 Member Posts: 22
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Good Morning!

    Hi Guggerty! - I had a disk replaced in my lower back DEC 06; I am still having residual nerve pain in my foot and ankle.  It has not been fun.  I think it is slowly getting better, but what a trip in the meantime!

    Have a great day!Smile

  • sharonw
    sharonw Member Posts: 18
    edited February 2008
    Options

    I am new to this thread but not to TC - am half way done - my third of four is this Tuesday 2/19.  A brief history of my treatments so far:

    1st TC - took large doses of steroids before, during, and after - played 18 holes of golf the next day and got Neulasta shot that afternoon - was jacked up on 'roids and Neulasta truck ran me over - felt terrible for 5 days - then metallic taste and dead taste buds took over.

    2nd TC - had major discussion with onc doc - he lowered my 'roids by half since no major reaction to chemo drugs.  He also cancelled Neulasta shot - took a wait and see stance on WBC.  2nd treatment went much better - took Ativan to sleep (no hangover like ambien CR) - counts all stayed great - checked every week.  Still having taste bud issues - nothing tastes good - difficult to eat or even drink.

    Oh and did I mention my hair fell out by the second treatment?

    Guitargrl & Law - some things I do before and during treatment for SEs:  I use a nail product called Varisi (found on Amazon - used by diabetics - no smell - better than tee tree) and I also researched studies in Europe (we used to live in the UK and my family is from France), and they are using cryrotherapy (cold temperature) on the finger and toe nails of TC patients.  In Europe they have actual mittens and booties that are pre-chilled to use - I could not find them in the US so I improvise - during my Taxotere infusion, I wrap my nails in cold packs to lower the temp in the nails - this prevents a larger dose of the taxotere from entering the nail and surrounding tissues thus hopefully preventing the nail problems.  I apply the Varisi daily and so far after two treatments have no problems.

    I want to ask if others have the dead taste bud SE and how do you deal with it?  My taste buds seem to return 3 or 4 days before my next treatment - then I eat like there's no tomorrowThanks for any feedback!

  • KathyL
    KathyL Member Posts: 109
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Hi Sharon!  Very interesting about the cold therapy for nails!  Europeans seem to always be so far ahead of us...  Anyway, I'm hoping since my hands and feet are always cold anyway that this will help me :)  About the "buds"... I've noticed mine are gone for about 10 days after tx (I've had 2 also).  I just avoid foods that taste really bad to me (like chocolate, waaah!) and stick to a bland diet.  It's pretty boring, but does help to keep down on the overeating.  I save the foods I love or crave for the days when taste returns.  I don't know that there's anything we can do about it... but will read what others post.

  • beegirl
    beegirl Member Posts: 53
    edited February 2008
    Options

    I'm starting this regimen on Feb. 21 and am trying to be prepared for side effects.

    sharonw - Is one 0.5 oz bottle of Varisi enough, or should I order more than that? The smell of tea tree oil is a definite turn-off! The onc nurse didn't think many people had problems with their nails, but I'd like to be prepared.

  • WellWater
    WellWater Member Posts: 4,524
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Trumpet:  So sorry to hear that you're having that residual pain.  I'm assuming it's nerve damage?  Will that pain go away eventually?  I've had back surgery, I know your pain.

    Sharon:  Thanks for those tips - I take a cooler with some cottage cheese and other things to eat during chemo so I may as well throw a bag of ice in and try to at least keep the nails cold during treatment.

    I rec'd a call from my radiation onc's office - they want me to come in for my tats on March 18th and start radiation on the 25th.  Another new experience....ugh.

  • sharons
    sharons Member Posts: 177
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Just came from the oncologist...getting port next week and start taxotere and cytoxan - 4 treatments on Feb 26th.  Actually happy today to get a treatment plan and get on with it.  All advice as I get ready for the first one is appreciated....

    Hope all had a good day....

  • sharonw
    sharonw Member Posts: 18
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Bee -

    I bought the six pack of the Varisi - I keep bottles around the house to keep on nails - I bought the six bottles at the beginning of my 4 treatments and I am half way throught with 3 bottles left - this Varisi is used by diabetics to maintain nail health - in a small squeeze on bottle - just make sure to put a towel under feet as not to get it on carpet! And don't forget to put on before the Taxotere goes in! Good luck!

  • trumpet84
    trumpet84 Member Posts: 22
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Guggerty - Yes, Nerve damage I believe; I tested an internal instim device and found that the "trigger point" on my sinal column was way out of alignment!  Hopefully the pain will go away soon!

    Sharonw - Thanks for the info for nails!!

  • guitarGrl
    guitarGrl Member Posts: 150
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Thanks for the info about Varisi - is there a difference between the "clean healthy nail" stuff and the "restore" stuff. Anybody want a free bottle of tea tree oil? Send me a pm with your address (US only please)



    I've got the food has no taste problem too. What I've noticed is that junk food - especially stuff with a strong plastic taste works better than more subtle food. I've been subsisting on "American cheese" instead of the good cheeses I usually eat.



    My problem is complicated by the fact that I can't eat some of the things I really like - mainly because I am *not* constipated. However there is the one perfect food group that I was avoiding because I didn't want my love for it to be compromised still tastes ok - pizza!!!!!



    I'm like the rest of you - fine the day after - Saturday for me - but Sunday & Monday I slept all day. Yesterday I was able to stay awake a whole 10 hours. Part of the problem is the compazine - anybody have an anti-nausea that doesn't make you sleepy. I'll go back to work for the first time tomorrow.

  • sunshine99
    sunshine99 Member Posts: 2,615
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Hi everyone:

    I have a quick question - I don't know if this is another SE or just normal stuff, but my nose has been running non-stop.  I don't have a fever and I don't feel like I have a cold, but my nose is getting sore and chapped from blowing and wiping.

    Did any of you have this?  What did you put on your nose to soothe the chapping?  I got a 2-pack of Aquaphor (by Eucerin) "Healing Ointment". The tube is .35 ounces and it says "Advanced therapy for dry, cracked, or irritated skin".  Seems to be working, but I'd love to hear what works for you.

    Thanks so much!

    Sunshine

  • WellWater
    WellWater Member Posts: 4,524
    edited February 2008
    Options

    Happy Valentine's Day to all......

    Trumpet - Wow, I sure do send you some strong support.  When do you start chemo?

    Sunshine - the important thing is that you keep applying the cream to the nose area so that it is kept lubricated all the time.  If you get up during the night for anything, apply the cream.  My nose has been running more and I've been sneezing more but not to the point that you are.  The nurse told me that one of the chemos, not sure if it's the T or C, can cause sinus headaches so I'm assuming it can affect our sinuses.  Is there anything the chemo does NOT affect?

    Guitar:  Good luck at work today, hope you don't fall asleep at your desk.  I wish I could suggest some foods that would taste good - it's important to keep eating.

    Well, my peach fuzz is finally starting to shed...I think tonite I'll have hubby shave it competely off since my scalp is tender and I hate seeing the little hairs in the sink.  I probably could have waited another week or two before buzzing my head but I couldn't stand the anticpation of losing it.....getting rid of it on my terms felt better.

    ((hugs))