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Is anyone else an atheist with BC besides me?

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Comments

  • ananda8
    ananda8 Member Posts: 1,418
    edited January 2015

    Something about organizations is corrupting.  I think we're seeing the very beginnings of groups without formal organization.  The Occupy movement is just one of several I can think of.

  • ananda8
    ananda8 Member Posts: 1,418
    edited January 2015

    image


  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,178
    edited March 2015

    bump

  • tempusername123!
    tempusername123! Member Posts: 26
    edited March 2015

    Help me, please, find a discussion forum that focuses on sharing our mutual Journey without the religiousity. There are many forums for sharing one's faith in this website, but where are the serious discussions between women who aren't Christian?  

  • river_rat
    river_rat Member Posts: 317
    edited March 2015

    StellaStarr, please feel free to discuss anything you need to here. This thread hasn't been very active lately but there's a great group of women here and I'm sure that others will join in the discussion.

  • eheinrich
    eheinrich Member Posts: 6
    edited March 2015

    I just found this thread today. I was raised Catholic but never bought into it. I wanted to respond to something someone posted early on in the thread about how when people say they are praying for you they are doing it to make themselves feel better. Others said it made them uncomfortable when people said that same thing. I always translate that as "I'll keep you in my thoughts". Even if those folks know of your non-religiousness I don't think anything except good intentions are behind it.

    I will say though that when I "came out" on FB with my cancer diagnosis I was very concerned that someone would say something about god only giving us what we are strong enough to handle knowing that I would lose my shit and immediately never want to talk to that person ever again. I have some friends from childhood who are very religious as well as a handful of my husband's cousins. Fortunately it wasn't an issue.

    Glad to see the thread active again.


  • gypsyjo
    gypsyjo Member Posts: 112
    edited March 2015

    I will join you ladies. I have "Prayer Warriors" in 2 states rooting for me. I interpret it as " They care about me and love me". This is their helping me in their own way. I do appreciate it and respect their methods. It just doesn't work for me though. I wish it would since I otherwise feel that it is all in my hands to find the right info and make the right decisions. That is a scary thought but one I can do something about. I deal best when I am learning, working through fears and making decisions. (That is the ex-project manager speaking)

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,967
    edited March 2015

    Gypsyjo, That sounds like a healthy way to go about it to me. Your surgery was pretty recent. Will you have rads?

    Welcome everyone new to this thread. I haven't found lack of religion has been a problem for me in this journey. If anyone is praying for me, they have kept quiet about it.

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 4,833
    edited March 2015


    I have people who pray for me too. I know they have good intentions so I just let it be. Fortunately no one has given me the "god only gives you as much as you can handle" speech. that would make me lose it.

    Welcome to all the new people!!

  • gypsyjo
    gypsyjo Member Posts: 112
    edited March 2015

    My surgery will take place in about 2 weeks. I will be having intraoperative radiation therapy where I receive one targeted session during surgery right in the incision. That is currently the plan. If the nodes test positive for cancer, I will undergo a reduced tradition radiation treatment with my intraoperative treatment replacing the boost at the end.

  • ananda8
    ananda8 Member Posts: 1,418
    edited March 2015

    gypsijo,

    "Welcome" to the thread.  You can talk about anything here whether serious or not.  You will find all sorts of useful information on all  the threads from people who have been down a similar road that you are going to be traveling. 

    Since your surgery is just around the corner, please let me tell you one or two things that someone told me just prior to my surgery seven years ago.  Buy a soft stuffed animal to carry under your arm.  The gentle pressure supports your breast after surgery without irritating it.  My animal was a bright pink pig. Perhaps it was just psychological, but that pig was a comfort.

    After surgery, do not lift anything over 5 pounds until you're healed. You will be surprised how little 5 pounds is so be careful. After surgery, slowly walk you fingertips up the wall to stretch your arm.  Do this 2 or more times a day letting you muscles just barely stretch.  Take it slowly but do it.   Talk to your surgeon about this.

    Finally, if things start getting you down, come here and cry and whine and howl at the moon.  We will be along side you howling too.

  • BookWoman
    BookWoman Member Posts: 33
    edited March 2015


    I haven't posted a lot on this thread, but I'm glad to see it active again.

  • gemmafromlondon
    gemmafromlondon Member Posts: 46
    edited March 2015

    There is ono one thing to say on the religious/nonreligious debate :

    God is alive and well and working on a less ambitious project. That covers it for me!

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,967
    edited March 2015

    And don't forget a pillow for the ride home. Seat belt would be really uncomfortable!

  • ananda8
    ananda8 Member Posts: 1,418
    edited March 2015

    image


  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 4,833
    edited March 2015


    Love that sign!

  • flannelette
    flannelette Member Posts: 398
    edited March 2015

    Just a comment. We. living on the US border, usually watch the CBS morning news at 7. first thing up was somebody or other Cruz running for Republicans representing the Xian right & hoping to undercut or defeat Obamacare. Had to walk away. Gag me with a spoon. Xian right = denial of the poor to have universal health care. and no, we have no death squads or any of the other laughable BS you all heard when Obama was trying to help the poorest to the most basic of care, akin to free education.

    Every civilized country in the world except the US, I would hazard to say, has universal health care. also no guns. I have never said this on breastcancer.org., but my breast cancer treatment cost me not one cent. oh, excuse, I did pay hefty for Arimidex for a few years until it became generic.

    I would trade Obama for our idiot prime minister Stephen Harper any day!

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 4,833
    edited March 2015


    Yes, flannelette,,, it is really a shame that US does not have universal health care the way Canada/UK and other countries have. I do not believe your health benefits should be tied to your job,, cuz what happens if you lose your job?  Or if you work for a small employer who cannot afford to give you health benefits?  Or a giant like Wal-mart that just doesn't care???   Obamacare is not the health care that I wanted to see in this country but it was a start. I just truly fear what will happen after the next election.

    I have seen charts showing the countries with universal health care,, and there are countries on there who are much smaller and much "poorer" than US is.   It's all about the mighty dollar. Insurance companies do not want to give up making huge profits off the illnesses of desperate people.

    This is a pet peeve with me. Have worked in poor neighborhoods and listened to people say,,, oh, just give me $5 of my BP med,, that's all I can afford this week.  No, no,,no!!!  And the thing that really gets me, is that these people who want to take away health care and other benefits for the poor call themselves "Christians".  Really????   What would Jesus do, people??  Would Jesus do this??   I don't think so!!

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,178
    edited March 2015

    I met a woman on these threads whom I have become friends with. We live about 10 minutes away from each other. BC survivor. NED she thinks. Her employer offers insurance, she can't afford it. She is going to be hit with a fine this year, and subsequent years because she doesn't have insurance. Fair? No.

    I am one who stayed in a job I hated just for insurance. Fair? No. Give me a great deal of stress? Yes. Stress causes cancer? I don't know.

    It's not perfect, but it's a start.

  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,178
    edited March 2015

    I have MRI & CT scans tomorrow. Afraid of results. Got a PM this a.m. from a member who wrote a prayer for me.

    I'm sure she meant well, all I could do was say thank you. Did I handle that right?

    But why MUST they do that

  • flannelette
    flannelette Member Posts: 398
    edited March 2015

    Hi Spookiesmom - yes,I think so, because you are thanking her for her caring, the god part is irrelevant. She's giving you what she can. I would say something like sending you my best heart-vibes, or something - which I do. MRI and CT it's all so scary. Probing into things you'd rather they not, and yet you must. yuk.

    The thing is, they really, truly, do believe there is some guy - where? watching over you for your best. And if it turns out poorly for you, well, he must know that he wouldn't give you anything you can't handle! just kidding... the thing is, it does give certain people comfort, which we probably all need, or could use.

    Wishing you the best, and looking for your results here. Extending my hand to you.



  • spookiesmom
    spookiesmom Member Posts: 8,178
    edited March 2015

    Thanks!!!!! You are so right, and said it so well!!!!

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 4,833
    edited March 2015


    Agree!   Just say thanks and move on.  I don't want to insult their beliefs as it seems to give them comfort.

  • ananda8
    ananda8 Member Posts: 1,418
    edited March 2015


    I volunteered at our local hospice for 3 years.  During that time I saw many religious patients and their families face death.  Most were very comforted by their religious practices. One or two over the years were absolutely terrified of dying because of their sense of overwhelming sin.  Their religious beliefs gave them no comfort and only strong anti-anxiety medication gave them any calm. 

     The only declared atheist patient had to have a sign put on her door to keep non-family visitors out who were trying to get her to believe in god before it was "too late".  She died in peace without thought of an afterlife.

     

  • Sarah0915
    Sarah0915 Member Posts: 81
    edited March 2015

    That's a great story ananda8. It find it frightening that many hospitals are being taken over by large corporations with religious ties, primarily Catholic. Patient choice in their own healthcare treatment is very limited in many areas. I'll never forget a pap smear visit to a clinic with religious affilitations many years ago. Most gynecologists have beautiful pictures to look at while you are flat on your back, the sky, stars, etc. This one had a picture of Jesus staring down at me. One can read all types of interpretations into that. In my career, I reviewed many medical records and often saw a chaplain note stating the person refused visits, entered into the medical records in a chastising manner, like it was almost refusing treatment. Scary stuff.

    Since my stage IV diagnosis, nearly everyone who has emailed, texted, or sent a card is "praying for" me. Although it doesn't mean a thing to mean, I simply say thank you, I appreciate your thoughts. I believe they find it comforting, so it's o.k. with me. When a healthcare provider tries to enter it in my treatment, it is not.

  • wren44
    wren44 Member Posts: 7,967
    edited March 2015

    Sarah, That is totally creepy. It's bad enough to strip for the exam without Jesus getting in on it. A friend asked for support and said I could say a prayer, light a candle, burn incense or plant a bean, whatever worked for me. I appreciated her attitude. My BIL had no chaplain visits in his medical record.

  • moni731
    moni731 Member Posts: 212
    edited March 2015

    Sarah0925- I second that. I would have left. And yes. I have, through my insurance, a Catholic system or Adventist system. I chose the latter as I work for the former! When I was admitted to the hospital and was asked my religious affiliation, I answered Pagan (I am) and requested no chaplaincy visits. My wishes were honored. I am surprised there was a notation by chaplaincy in a chart! Our chaplains do not have privileges. I am totally with you that entering religious refusal or anything else is crossing the line!

  • Charlottesmommy
    Charlottesmommy Member Posts: 8
    edited March 2015

    I work in a Catholic affiliated nursing home, and while there is a strong religious presence, all of the religious (staff?) are respectful of all different belief systems. Maybe that is part of the reason I love my job and where I work. As for the notes in the chart, they just have to be made and the word refuse does not have such a charged meaning. It is just the word that has to be used, legally. Many healthcare facilities provide for spiritual care needs as part of treating the whole person, not just the condition.

    Today, I was in line at the supermarket, and the gentleman in line behind me asked about my cancer. First he asked about my treatments (ok????), then he started asking about my numbers, and other specifics (why????).


    He then says, "I find faith to be the most important". I informed him that I have a lot of faith in my doctors. Why do people have the gall to be offended when I give a direct answer to the question of whether I believe in God? I don't bring it up BECAUSE God brings comfort to some of those who do believe, and I have not been able to find a non-offensive way to explain my beliefs to them.

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 4,833
    edited March 2015


    Wow,, that was really nosy of him, me thinks.  What the heck with all those questions?  I cannot imagine getting that personal with a stranger,, unless that stranger also had BC and wanted to talk. Perhaps he just wanted to preach to you.

  • Charlottesmommy
    Charlottesmommy Member Posts: 8
    edited March 2015

    Glennie, I think his intention was to offer prayers, or just to be nice and / or make conversation (I am bald, breastless and BEAUTIFUL), but I just wasn't in the mood today.