Is anyone else an atheist with BC besides me?
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Damn! I missed the rant.
I did get a PM, just so you all know...."they are praying for us."
I swear, I'm not making it up, apparently they read this thread & pray for us because we are frightened & lonely.
Duh?!! Really? Of course we are frightened. Lonely? Sometimes I am.....
I would never read the religious threads figuring out how I can get them to believe what I believe....Is that the same thing? In reverse? I don't get it.
But, anyhoo, they are praying for us
In return I send them lots of meatballs?? Get it? From the Spaghetti Monster!! Gheesh!Elizabeth~How was the DVD? Horribly boring?
How do you get your kitty to Canada, mine just ride in the car...I set up a litter box & try to keep them off the dashboard.
Alex~Stay close...I home school & I am awful with history! Your knowledge may prove invaluable.
althea~Haven't seen Chocolat it is on my must see list..Thanks!! Your avatar kitty is beautiful! Does he/she have a gimpy ear or is that just the photo? My dog has a bullet hole in her left ear she earned in Iraq. Sorry, off topic, I tend to like my animals more than most people...sorry
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I really can't say I am frightened or lonely
huh????
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I'm sorry, SoCal Lisa..
My post is confusing. One of the girls from one of the religious threads sent me a private message. She said that a few of them are having a hard time keeping their mouths shut about our thread. She said that she reads this thread & knows we are just frightened and lonely.
I don't know! She said they are praying for us!!!
Don't worry, if they were having a hard time keeping their mouths shut before...my post will cause riots & they will appear like magic to save all of our lost souls.
Now, Michio Kaku is on TV talking about quantum stuffs...I must go pretend to be brilliant!!
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Dawnn, sounds like harassment to me.
2acdmom, keep the interesting historical facts coming. Love to learn!
althea, I too thought Chocolat was an excellent movie!
Sweet dreams, everyone!
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You're not alone, dudess. That's obvious from the amount of posts you engendered with your question. And yes, there are even some replies from those of us who are not traditionally religious people. When I was first diagnosed, I found it odd that most people (whether they knew me or not) told me that they were praying for me. Although I don't believe that their prayers affected anything to do with my cancer, I was happy that they thought enough of me to want to do SOMETHING...even if it was to offer up a prayer to WHATEVER/WHOEVER for my well-being. I quit being annoyed about it and accepted it as graciously as I could. What the heck? I figured I needed all the help I could get. The best wish came from a colleague of mine who understood that I was not a religious woman. He sent me an email and told me he was praying for me and he didn't think it was doing any good but he wanted to do so "just in case" he was wrong. Now THAT is a prayer I could handle!!
Now, here's a burning question: how do you all get your "case" information to appear at the bottom of your posts? I've been searching desperately for a woman with an oncotype DX score as high as mine and would like to post mine in case someone is looking for the same information.
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Well Lisa .. I'm a little lonely ... Mr. Tim's been gone for 10 days and won't be home for a few more. Somebody pray to the trucking gods to get Mr. Tim home for a day! Not too scared right now, except for poor Bobo. He's in so much pain and I'm afraid of what happens next.
I'm kind've weird about the "I'm praying for you" thing. I think its fine and dandy when it's somebody who is sincere. I'm actually pretty superstitious about having people who don't really care about me say they are praying for me. It gives me the willies. I don't want that kind of stuff thrown out into the universe.
Mags .. I think if you go to your profile page there is a place to enter that info.
Hugs and stuff,
Bren
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reading last posts and thinking what a great strong thread this is--learning many things and enjoying all the input, especially reading what others put into words that I can so identify with. So sorry that someone is receiving PMs to the contrary...
we have a special place in a closet that holds the ashes of our beloved furry friends. Our wish is that when we are reduced to ashes in a box, all will be mixed together and we will all go together into the next wherever.
...love the movie Chocolat and watch whenever it is on...if you order be careful, there is another movie by the same title, it may be Chocolate (e at the end) that is a rather dark, steamy love story set in South Africa....
many years ago, I had a brief interlude with a Unitarian church. I wanted to learn more but other life things intervened (marriage, moving thousands of miles away, working, having babies, divorce, working...) Now, retired, babies grown with their own babies...and living in a very rural community. I find that I cannot belong to the strong traditional church structure that exists here. I could be "one of them"--meaning I attend a Catholic Church in town. Or, I can be a staunch So. Baptist--which we did try for a bit--but, DH would be invited to Sat morning coffee with the guys and I would be invited to Sat morning Bible study--and, I wanted to go for COFFEE!!!
and, perfectly content to be a small part of our tiny community who do not support a church...
I'm rambling, but you all are so freely expressing thoughts that float through my head but I don't know how to put into words. I'll continue reading and learning, as long as it doesn't become another war zone!
thanks!!!!
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Love this discussion. Just read back thru July and I learned a lot. In Toronto, we had an atheist bus ad that said "There's probably no god, now stop worrying and enjoy your life." The transit company would only post it with the word "probably" in it, because otherwise they felt the ad was trying to convert people to atheism, and they have a strict "no religious advertising" policy.
Why do religious people who believe the Bible is literally true, tend to also think that people who don't believe, have not actually read it? What's with that?
I don't know what made the earth beautiful, or created love, or first exploded the stars - and I don't need to. The wonder makes it more amazing.
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Dawnn -- My rant was the same subject of the PM you received. It sorta went like this:
I did a no-no and cruised the prayer thread and got into a snit when I read that there are prayers for the "lonely" and "terrified" on "that other thread". And the "holding on tongues"... If such prayers are directed at me I am offended! I am lonely because I don't get enough time with my boyfriend, and miss all my girlfriends in Canada. I'm terrified that I won't have time to finish my bucket list before I am recycled in the cosmic sense. I am sifting through my thoughts on life in general, but one thing I know for sure -- it isn't god or Jesus I'm thinking about, and never will be!
If there is any spirituality I would contemplate it would be Buddhism, and of course re-visit my pagan meanderings. Some of these people are the least Christian people I've ever met.
It will be easier taking the cats back to Canada. On the way down Ursula, the dominant, trapped Chloe in the litter box and wouldn't let her out. Had to make a quick exit off the highway and rescue her. Ursula also sat on my lap and looked like Toonsie the cat from Saturday Night Live - like she was driving -- got some pics with my cell phone. It will be much more peaceful on the drive back -- Ursula had to be euthanized in Feb and is now in her urn. Chloe will be able to lounge without being harassed! They're sisters from the same litter (18 years old now) -- I was so surprised that Chloe didn't miss Ursula once she was gone...
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That Bleepin' DVD -- overall it was a disappointment. It started out interesting -- it had various scholars speaking about quantum physics. And there was a story line, starring Marlee Matlin, to illustrate their points. But about a third of the way through physics was dropped and theories on consciousness took over. Enter the consciousness theorists -- don't know what else to call them.
What else was odd (besides the abrupt theme change), was that Marlee's character was popping pills for anxiety throughout her scenes. But once she learnt about how to manage her conscious and sub-conscious she as able to throw away her pills! I just thought -- will Tom Cruise and the Church of Scientology be in the credits?
The credits gave the backgrounds of all the scholars -- some theologians, others physicians, physicists, and psychologists that were branching out into consciousness theory. Hmmmm. I googled the movie and apparently the 3 producers are involved in a "cult" or group studying Ramtha??? Not sure I've got the name right. And, one of the physicists that was interviewed for the movie was really pissed that his words were sliced and diced into the narrative, not accurately reflecting what he said.
Well, it didn't float my boat. It was interesting and thought-provoking at times. However, I found it very manipulative in the presentation of its ideas. Some might find it more interesting than I did, but it just wasn't what I was looking for.
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Hello ladies,
I was raised to be very religious from being baptised Catholic to being converted to a cultish type religion (JW) I was young and my parents made me go along with all of the craziness. I decided when I was old enough, I would escape and do my own thing which was run away from all religion. I have to say that I must have been (programed) pretty well, because I still suffer some bouts of guilt for not going to some kind of church or praying. I remember I did try praying before I knew my pathology results in January, but I suppose if prayers really worked, none of us would be here on BCO huh? Anyhhooo... I am rambling, but I just wanted to tell you I enjoy this thread and love your outlooks on being non-religious. I hope you don't mind me poping in here and there to see what's going on in the heathen world..LOL
Take care all!
Dee~0 -
konakat, I don't recall any story line at all from the bleep dvd. It seemed to jump from one interview to the next, and the people speaking were obviously highly intelligent, but I just couldn't fathom how any of their theories were knowable. I always did suck in science, and I'm not sure quantum physicis was ever an option in the schools I attended. I am fascinated by the ideas presented, even if they do make my brain feel like exploding. The early days of chemo were a big blur. Don't know how I ever ended up watching that one while suffering such diminished capacity. Sorry it was such a bum steer for movie recommendation.
layne, love the ceiling cat prayer. Not sure I'm catching the drift with the spaghetti monster.
As for people praying for me, I don't mind it all. And if I'm making a pest of myself on this thread with where I'm at for the moment, I'll respectfully retreat. Personally, I do believe in some kind of higher power. I love to garden, spend time in nature, and I rejoice in the beauty that surrounds us. Surely, there is a creator. Of course, that feeds into one of the arguments some people use -- that there must be a God because you can't have a painting without a painter. Well, that sounds fine and dandy on the surface, but then, how did the creator come into being? It's circular logic, and ultimately an unsatisfying answer imo. I've put considerable effort into finding a religious belief that fills me with the same joy I find while walking on the beach or in my garden. I just don't like ANY of them. So maybe the spaghetti monster will be my hero. lol
I just took a big detour around the point I was getting to.... I read one of Wayne Dyer's books some time ago that I really didn't like, but there was one nugget in there that made it all worthwhile. A study was done on monks who meditated. They measured blood pressure and pulse rates before and after meditations. Not surprisingly, blood pressure and pulse rates went down after meditating. But get this... they also measured the same things in people outside the building who were not involved in the meditation at all. They too had lower blood pressure and heart rate readings! How cool is that? I think it's cool anyway.
If that visualization doesn't appeal, you can imagine any kind of unwelcome energy as a string which connects you to the person sending the energy. Then you can imagine a big pair of scissors severing each unwelcome piece of string. I use this imagery when I feel like someone is worried about me to the point of bringing negative energy upon my head. I find it empowering to disconnect from the negativity. anyway, hope this is helpful for someone.
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Someone I know (another one) responed to hearing about my breast cancer with "May I pray for you?" I figured that if it makes him feel better then he should go ahead. Really, I think Magcline has it, - the people who want to pray, want to do something and that's the thing they know how to do. I'm happier with the people who bring me a good book to read.
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Althea .. I appreciated what you wrote about the "energy string." Yes, I can do visualization and I think this will be very helpful for me.
I just can't sit still long enough to medidate .. but I can manage a few seconds to give the "energy string" enough attention to make it work.
When Tim gets home we're going to have to take Bobo in. I called the vet to ask about cremation and I could barely choke out the words. I am so distraught and sad. How do you say goodbye to your closest companion and best friend of so many years. This is something I've never had to do before.
There is a wonderful animal sanctuary in Kanab, Utah. I've been there many times when I lived in the land of the Mormons. My sis wants to take her beloved buddies to the cemetary there. It's such a beautiful place.
At least I know if Bobo is cremated I can set him next to me. Tim asked if I wanted to bury him at home, but we'd need a backhoe, so I told him that wasn't a very good idea.
I better get to work.
Hugs,
Bren
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Oh Bren, it's so tough to say goodbye to a pet - such an important member of one's family. I've had to do it a few times. His "afterlife" will be in your wonderful memories of him (that's my belief, anyway). But when the time comes, I hope you'll feel many virtual hugs coming your way from those of us who have a pretty good idea of how sad and bereft you feel.
Linda
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bren, I am so sad for your impending loss of bobo. Sending hugs and kisses to you and bobo.
dawnn, my kitty was peering through a pile of christmas tissue paper. No gimpy ear, it's just obscured in the photo. Even though she's my miracle kitty (had a rocky start with a hernia in her diaphragm, which healed all by itself by the time she was 7 months old), I can't imagine she's had anything as dramatic as surviving a bullet. You must give details!
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Thanks Linda ... I've been thinking about the wonderful times we had together, and most especially the cross country trip I took a couple of years ago with my three dogs. We never felt so free and happy as we did on that trip. Just me and my little buddies. Bo had the backseat of the truck with his head hanging out the little window, Winston (beagle-basset) rode shotgun and Maggie (border collie) sat up front next to the console. What a glorious and hilarious adventure we had ...
Thank you all for your kindness and love,
Bren
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Bren, what a wonderful picture you've painted for us! Not surprised to know that Maggie was the navigator -- those border collies sure are smart (I grew up with one!).
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Hi Althea,
Bobie isn't the one with the bullet hole. Yikes. I think it might be Dawns dog. Can't remember who posted that. Tim's got a bullet hole in his knee ... does that count!
I'm so glad miracle kitty is doing so well. She is very, very cute!
I feel so fortunate to have had so many great adventures so far in my life.
Love,
Bren
" This is Bo, taken in my office/spare bedroom two weeks ago.
Okay Kids .. I work from home and it's slow today .. so going to head outside and dig for awhile .. release some of these emotions.
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Magcline -
Regarding offers of prayer - I agree. I'll take any positive thoughts and prayers anyone has to offer. It is all positive energy, and I would much rather have positive energy around me than negative energy.
Re your high Oncotype Score - There are plenty of threads where people discuss Oncotype scores. Use the search feature at the top of the page. I have posted in the following thread entitled "Oncotype Dx score 24 Chemo or no chemo?" at http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/96/topic/709216?page=1#post_1452339
Re Case information and Oncotype score at the end of your posts - I put my Oncotype score, and other info not included in the diagnosis, on my signature line, found on the profile page. Click on your name at the top of this page, then click on edit profile. The signature line is at the bottom.
Click on edit Diagnosis to fill out the survey, then check the box at the bottom to make it public. Then save your diagnosis.
If you want to attach your your signature to the bottom of your post, check the box next to your post that says "Attach signature."
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Bren, thanks for posting Bo's photo. He has such a kind face. This is going to be so tough.
Multi-hugs of comfort, Linda
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Bren~
I am so sorry for Bo. He has the sweetest kindest face ever.
I lost two members of my doggy family last year. They were both rescues and both ill when I adopted them. Rags is the big black guy here & Annie was my sweet poodle.
What helped me was trying to realize how much they both loved me, how much I loved them both in return. Bo has been loved. Most dogs and cats never get to experience that. It is sad, but true. You gave him the greatest gift possible, a home, a family & he knows that.
Animals touch our lives with a love & loyalty humans don't seem to possess.
I am thinking of you both and wish I could actually say something to help. Hugs to you both.
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Ladies .. you have no idea how much your kindness has helped me today.
As soon as Tim gets (he's been on the road), we will take him in. His pain is pretty bad tonight. Thank goodness he just fell asleep.
Dawn .. isn't funny how with dogs there's no room on the couch for us!
Thank you all so much,
Bren
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Hi, Ladies, I am so glad to see this thread active. I've been gone all day, at the Clinic, for angioplasty on my superior vena cava and another vein, portacath related. Long day, I'm exhausted.
I did want to jump in on a couple of things, though, especially Bren, it sounds like you're about to put a dog down. My oldest son just did that on Thursday. It was another all day Clinic day and he called, said that Sierra had cried in pain all night the night before, plus she couldn't hold her bladder any more. He has a friend who's a vet assistant, and he called her and asked her to meet him here, at our house, after work. Sierra came and wandered around the yard, and then went and lay down by the garden. So they injected her, and talked her off to sleep. We do have a little tractor with a backhoe, and three acres, so my son buried her back by the path in the woods. On Sunday he brought his kids and they set a marker stone that he had engraved with her name and dates. I said in a hundred years people would wonder if it was a child. She was fifteen, and she was dx with liver cancer a week after my breast cancer dx in 2005. She had surgery to remove the tumor, but no more treatment. She did pretty darn good. It does make you think, though, about how or why it's ok to help our pets "pass" but humans must suffer to the very end even when they'd rather let go with grace.
The second thing I wanted to mention, which I have back earlier on the thread is Natural Pantheism. You might find that there's a lot there to like, if you are in awe of Nature and the Universe. http://www.pantheism.net/paul/index.htm There are several chat groups on the web if you're interested.
I wish we could move this thread away from "just diagnosed" to the spirituality forum. Of course, someone would be sure to hijack it there.
Brenda
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I enjoy perusing this thread every so often. The pet topic caught my eye. Last weekend my ex-husband and I put down our sweet little kitty, Maxine. She had been living with him since the divorce, but we adopted her and her litter mate together as kittens 17 years ago.
Her kidneys failed and there was no hope for her so we made the decision to let her go. I have to admit, what gave me comfort in the moment of watching the life seep out of her was thinking that she was going to "kitty heaven" and wouldn't feel any more pain.
I don't believe in the "streets paved in gold" heaven but I think that release from pain and suffering could probably be interpreted as heaven for those who are in pain.
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hey, Bren--good to run into you again. Gentle huggsss to you and Bo. Hard times; tough decisions. I will hold your hand when Bo rips through the cosmos to play with my Ginger, Shallie, and Commie Dog--what a great time they will have!!
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Bren -- I am so sorry about Bobo -- what a handsome doggie he is. It is a very hard thing to do, I had to let go of my cat Ursula last Feb, and it hurts. But it is for Bobo, and you are doing this out of your love and kindness for Bobo. He has a good Mom.
Althea -- I think with the movie I was all gung-ho for physics -- it was interesting though. I do like the visualization -- I can imagine that string between me and the unwelcome person, getting all tangled up in my snit, and then snipping away and saying adios!
I do visualization when I can't sleep -- I had horrible insomnia for about 6 months and got rid of it on a trip to Hawaii. So when I can't sleep I imagine myself being back on the beach, the sun beating down on my back. It usually works. Or I try something I learnt in yoga: I start at my toes and focus on relaxing the muscles, and slowly work my way up, relaxing as I go -- I rarely get up to my arms before I'm gone.
Take care everyone. And ear scratches for Bobo.
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I've been out of town for a week, visiting a group of friends I met here on BC.org. We all started chemo in October 2005 and we still communicate via email on a daily basis. There are about 15 of us, but only five could make this year's get-together.
A Seattle news channel did a piece on us. This link should take you to the video, but you'll have to watch some ads first.
http://www.king5.com/video/index.html?nvid=389530&shu=1
I'm catching up on this thread, and was sorry to see that some folks here have gotten some unwanted PMs. I'm also a history buff, so the historical aspects of religious intolerance is always interesting to me.
Another good book is Carl Sagan's "The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark." It's a collection of essays Sagan wrote. I even gave a copy to my Mom to help explain my lack of belief.
--CindyMN
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Cindy,
How wonderful for you all, Seattle must have been beautiful. I never realized you could take an elevator up the needle, I have so much to learn....
Welcome home, I have missed your witty humor.
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Bren..sending hugs your way today...
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